GSW Report

GSW Special: For the Faithful Few...
Ice Castle, Charon, Pluto

(We are brought to a live feed from Charon, Pluto, where GSW’s most loyal fans live. Even so, the arena has not been completely filled, though the cameras try their best to avoid making this noticeable.)

**The card starts off as GSW owner, Hooker, makes his way down to the ring to make an emotional speech thanking the loyal GSW fans for their support. Though he does not make any promises on the future of the GSW promotion, he does promise for a night of jam-packed wrestling action that will not disappoint the fans, including a huge surprise that will catch all of the fans in shock. With this, the first match begins between Valentine and La Tarantula.

*Valentine vs. La Tarantula. This proves to be an interesting match to begin the night of action, as it pits the aerialist master in La Tarantula against the technical prowess of Valentine. La Tarantula dominates much of the match with his air attack, but the descendant of the legendary “sixty-minute man” is able to hang through and tie La Tarantula to the ground for an old-fashioned submission via the FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK.

**Backstage, Commissioner Hooker promises that his “little treat” will be a surprise to even the most scrutinizing insider of the sport.

*Mascara del Muerte vs. Halcon Oro. A match pitting these two evolves into a death-defying blood feud opened up through this rematch. Muerte attacks strong early, but opts to end the match too soon, which puts him in a position in which Oro is able to capitalize with a springboard legdrop to claim the pinfall.

**After the match, La Tarantula attacks Oro from the crowd, and as Muerte is revived, the two go for a double missile dropkick that sends Oro flying in the air before hitting the ground hard. Mascara del Muerte takes the mic.
Mascara del Muerte: Que pasa? No le gusto nos? La Tarantula y yo estaramos su duele malo! Tu eres chingado! (rough translation: What’s up? You don’t like us? La Tarantula and I are going to be your worst pain! You are fucked!)
They continue to torment their helpless foe, until Super Gato comes to the aid of Halcon Oro. Both parties take their mics.
Super Gato: Vendejos! (assholes!)
La Tarantula: Que? Quieres una parte de nos tambien? (What? You also want a piece of us?)
Super Gato: Quiero una parte de tus madres! (I want a piece of your mothers!)
Mascara del Muerte: Ave Maria! Ahora, tu eres un comico. Pero no, tu sera apologetica para este! La broma final sera sobre vosotros! (Ave Maria! Right now, you are quite the clown. But no, you will be sorry for this! The last joke will be on the both of you!)

**Eddie Dean comes down to the ring with Jackson Fury and demands a title shot tonight against Deacon, by virtue of his decisive victory over former GSW champion VIce on the last card. However, Kanazawa confronts Dean, stating that he won the right for that shot by defeating Kentashi Kaboom in the main event. To this, Commissioner Hooker comes down to the ring to settle the dispute.
Commissioner Hooker: What is this all about?
Eddie Dean: I’m demanding a title shot tonight at the end of this card, and if Kanasuwa, or whatever his damn name is wants to stand in my way, there’s no doubt in my mind that even my friend, Jackson Fury, could take care of him with relative ease!
Kanazawa: Yoo don’t thinku I can beat Fury?
Eddie Dean: Damn straight I don’t!
Kanazawa: Then signa the matchu! I take care of him righta nouwe!
Jackson Fury: Oh, the pleasure’s going to be all mine for knocking your ass in and around this ring!

*Kanazawa vs. Jackson Fury. Both men show a lot of guts here, as they try everything possible to inflict damage on their opponent, even at the risk of doing self-harm. The match is a wild affair from the get-go, though Kanazawa manages to put Fury in the position for the HELL’S RUN. However, at this point Dean runs down to ringside and causes a distraction that allows Fury enough time to recover and use some of his tricks. A flaming chair to the head followed by an ice pick to an already burned face is able to give Jackson Fury the title of the victor of this match.

**Mighty Grogan approaches the ring, and leads a tirade against the recent “hardcore” aspect of the sport of wrestling. As a purist and a traditionalist, his order is to rid the “once honorable sport” of all its faults, and he plans to start by pummeling Von Braun into total submission.
Mighty Grogan: Von Braun, the GSW in all of its woes, is no better with hardcore scum like you lurking in the ranks. I’m going to beat you brutally, force you to take home all of the losers checks, until you feel so humiliated that you quit!

**The Estorians come down to the ring for their next match, however, Polarity called in earlier to inform Hooker that they had missed a flight. Besides that, GSW owner Hooker had promised the fans a huge surprise in store for the evening, and as he comes down to the ring, he appears proud to announce it in the form of the Estorians’ opponents... the Satanic Forces!

*The Estorians vs. the Satanic Forces. The fans are completely shocked by this announcement, as Preacher and Deathlord come out behind the curtains and bring the Charon, Pluto crowd on their feet. The Satanic Forces work fluently for most of the match, taking the Estorians apart gradually, part by part, as they excel in isolating a man in their corner. In fact, Parsec narrowly escapes certain defeat from two CELTIC CROSSES, had it not been for his partner making the last-second save to prolong the match. However, in the end, the Estorians manage to cut a break, as Tantalis catches Preacher with the SUPERKICK to win the match.

**A lot of questions are now being raised in regards to how the Satanic Forces are contractually allowed to compete tonight on this GSW card. Hooker briefly explains that the Universe Class Wrestling promotion (my GWF), has entered into a working relationship on the basis that neither promotion wishes to see JAW grow too strong, and has thus lent the Satanic Forces, and possibly other talent in the near future, to be used as drawing power for GSW. Hooker also announces that the next card will be a combined UCW vs. GSW card to be held at the Rhea Forum on Saturn featuring a title unification bout between the UCW champion and the GSW champion.

*Steel Justice vs. Dante. Steel Justice continues his campaign against crime, as he concentrates his efforts on that of Dante this week. Dante takes light of Steel JusticeÕs threats, and chokes him brutally with a titanium wire several times throughout the match, and the use of a fishing hook has Steel Justice gashing at the forehead, but he misses a critical move off of the top rope, allowing Justice to have a chance at hitting the DEATH SENTENCE to win the match.

**Commissioner Hooker comes down to the ring to offer the “Fan’s Achievement Award” for the most loyal supporter of GSW. The recipient of this award is announced as Aaron Luke, but as Aaron comes down to the ring, the rWo music begins to play, and the annoying threesome begin to parade out to the center of the ring.
Da Macho Guy (handed a mic by Liza): Oooooohhh yeahhh!
“Hollywood Hunk” Huggins: You know he won that award because of his support for US!
Aaron Luke: Wait a minute. I would never support a couple of pathetic LOSERS like you three! I love the GSW, but I can’t say the same about you bastards!
(the rWo acts surprised and overwhelmed a la Brutus Beefcake, before beginning to speak.)
“Hollywood Hunk” Huggins: Hey, I got news for you, brother. We are the Renewed World Order, and we’re here for life! ‘Cause tradition bites!
Aaron Luke: Then why the hell are you riding off the tradition of Terry Bolleau and Randy Poffo?
(Biting chants of “Ohhh!” arise from the crowd in mocking the rWo.)
Aaron Luke: You couldn’t even carry my jockstrap for one goddamn day! And you, Da Macho Guy, are even worse. Not only do you act as a fake of Randy Poffo, you also ride on the coattails of THIS MAN! (pointing to the Hunkster).
Aaron Luke: I’m sick as hell of you two assholes and the bitch over there, hi Liza, and I’m gonna put forth every effort to put an end to this Renewed World Order before it fully gets a start!

*Mighty Grogan vs. Von Braun. After a brief intermission between matches, we jump right into the next contest in a return match between Mighty Grogan and Von Braun. The contest is similar from the last one, though the two athletes are more evenly matched tonight than during their last encounter. To Grogan’s dislike, it is the brawling tactics of Von Braun that makes the difference here, and leads directly to the DOMINATION (Vader Bomb).

**Deacon is shown backstage doing his normal prematch routine. After reciting the “Our Father” and signing the Roman Catholic cross, he pulls his hood over his head, and somberly walks toward the ringside area with the GSW Heavyweight belt dragged along in his right hand.

*Deacon (c) vs. Eddie Dean. Both men put on a stellar performance in this match, as the crowd goes absolutely nuts, and highlights are recorded from both men’s arsenals. Deacon nearly wins the match with the ALTAR CALL, but the tenacity of Dean allows him to kick out with every last ounce of his energy. In the end, the trash can move (a “Crippler” Ray Taylor “bombs away” with the trash can) offsets Deacon’s stragedy, leading straight into a reverse gut wrench suplex and the EXTREME PLUNGE to allow Eddie Dean to become the new GSW champion!

**When all is said and done and Dean has been awarded the belt, he takes to the mic and begins to speak. He speaks derisively about GSW and claims that his “revolution” has only begun, even after having won the top prize of the promotion.
Eddie Dean: I have seen enough of this pathetic excuse of a wrestling organization! The competition here in GSW sickens me, and insults me, as I am a man of great wrestling talent, of course. GSW has had its course of problems lately. A wrestling promotion’s image is usually judged by the image and strength of its champion, the top representative of the promotion. Which means, Deacon-- YOU SUCKED! But what happens now that I’M the GSW champ? Well, as far as I’m concerned, I’m through with GSW, so as for the image of this fed, here’s MY version of the GSW image! (tosses the GSW belt into his trash can) Ohhhhyeaahhhhhbabbyyyyyy! You all are gonna crash and burn! (hit to pyro, and the playing of Bombtrack by Rage Against the Machine, as we fade to black.

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