The Pants Appreciation Society's Third Newsletter
Welcome to all our new members. We now have over 50 members
(not enough to take over the world yet but we're getting there).
Publicity
The big pants news last month was that I spoke about pants live on
BBC Radio Scotland. My apologies to the residents of Scotland and
also to Margaret Thatcher, as I told anyone who was listening that
I believed the reason she was so powerful was that she wore big
white yfronts. I can't remember what else I said but when I get
a copy of the tape I'll put a transcript of it on the internet.
I have been asked to record an interview sometime in July for
Meridian TV which broadcasts over the south of England. Not
sure of any details yet but it sounds like a laugh.
Apparently my pants page has been talked about on Australian radio
and mentioned in an Australian newspaper, hence the abundance
of new Australian members to our little society. Please email
me if you hear of any other media coverage, I'd love to know.
Dr Pants Problem Page
The Dr Pants problem page has started
well with some very good questions put forward. Please continue
to send your pant related problems to the Dr.
Official Meeting
Our first official meeting (ooo, I'm so excited) will be at Glastonbury
music festival, England, on Thursday June 25th, 8pm, on the hill in
front of the main (Pyramid) stage. We are also meeting at the same
place on the Saturday at 2pm.
My comiserations to anybody not going, you'll regret it, as we're
going to have a most groovey time.
Strange Properties of Pants (The Y-Files)
Has anyone out there got an explanation of how sand gets inside your
kecks but never gets out? You go to the beach fully clothed, get home
and find there's sand up the crack of your bum. No matter how much
you shake and wiggle your butt, the sand doesn't come out. If it
can't get past the material of the pants when you're trying to get it
out, how does it get in there in the first place? Answer that one Scully.
Asumming you've figured out that problem, how come all your other clothes
dry out reasonably quickly if you're wearing them, except your gruns?
You can be wearing them for hours, even days, and they still stay
damp. Why don't your trousers that are now dry absorb the moisture?
Yet another example of the strange one-way membrane properties of
pants.
Pants News from Around the World
Six formers at Tiffin Girls School in London have launched
knickers-with-pockets, aimed at 13 to 23 year olds who are fed up with
dancing around their handbags, according to Marie Claire magazine
(don't ask why I was reading that). The knickers have a small pouch
on the hip or at the back for small items such as money or keys. If
anybody knows any more details or knows anyone at the school then get
me some more details, they sound like they have the right idea.
Dr Pants Says
Maybe I can add some pockets to my pants, some belt rings, rivets,
a designer label, some velvet flared leg holes...
The Future
Me and my giant pants will be at the Glastonbury, Phoenix (not anymore,
its been cancelled) and V98 music festivals in England this summer,
along with some other UK, Dutch or Belgian festivals (probably T in
the Park and Reading)
Future newsletters will contain articles on the magical properties of
pants and pschological effects on the wearer.
We now have supporters from America, Belgium, France and Australia,
as well as the usual British eccentrics who think its quite normal
to search for the word 'pants' on every search engine they use.
We are still in our recruitment stage, we need as big a following as
possible, so please spread the word around and photocopy this newsletter
to give to your friends.
