P-chan's Big Adventure

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and affiliates. I claim no rights to it.

Akane happily set the table. She loved it when Kasumi let her cook dinner. She had prepared a feast for the household tonight... she just hoped they appreciated it.

"Is dinner ready- GAHH!" Ranma, frozen in shock and horror, stared at Akane as she put the finishing touches on the table.

"Eh... what is that."

"That," Akane said stormily, "Is they meal you are going to eat and love."

"Er... I suddenly remember somewhere I gotta be..."

"Ranma no Baka! come back here!"

The Tendou household sat at the table, staring forlornly down at their plates. Not even the panda would touch it. It was a shapeless mass of slime, that shivered and writhed as if alive. Ranma gasped as his started to slither across the table, changing color to camouflage with the surface it was on.

"Are you sure you killed this stuff?" Ranma asked warily, as his glob started to cannibalize his Pop's blob.

"What do you mean killed it?" Akane asked. "It's ramen."

Silence.

"Well, what is everyone waiting for?" Akane said irritably. "Eat up."

Silence.

From his place nestled in Akane's arms, P-chan sighed. He could feel Akane stiffen with the beginnings of disappointment.

He leapt from his place and trotted across the table toward Ranma's blob, which was currently finishing off Mr. Saotome's.

He could feel Akane's bright gaze on his back, and so made begging noises at Ranma.

“Well P-chan certainly seems to want some,” Akane said in a relieved tone.

His face filled with relief, Ranma said loudly, "Okay, you can have a little," and hurriedly used his fork to push his protesting monstrosity toward the piglet.

You'd better appreciate this buddy, Ryouga thought sourly, then squealed with piggy joy as he pounced on the unsuspecting blob.

With a hiss, the meal bucked him off. P-chan went flyng.

"P-chan, are you all right?" Akane asked worriedly. P-chan got into stance. Now it was personal.

The little black piglet rushed the blob, which attempted to dodge. But P-chan was too fast for it, and took a chomp out of his nemesis before it could escape.

Dramatically enough, the blob gave a shrill scream, and in a puff of smoke, disappeared.

"It looks like P-chan really liked your ramen Akane," Kasumi commented.

P-chan beamed at her through his agony as he swallowed the bite of... God only knows.

"Wow, P-chan, that was gutsy," Ranma said.

"And what's that supposed to mean!?" Akane shouted.

Just then, Ryouga's stomach clenched and he felt a tremor go through his body.

Uh oh.

"P-chan?" Akane asked, forgetting her anger. "What's wrong?"

Ryouga opened his mouth and immediately wished he hadn't. He clamped his mouth shut firmly and moaned.

"Gee Akane," commented Nabiki. "That pig of yours looks really sick."

"Oh my," said Kasumi, "perhaps we should call doctor Tofu."

Meanwhile P-chan had gone into seizures. The household gathered around anxiously.

First the piglet turned green, than blue, then marroon, then orange...

Bets were placed and yen exchanged hands as the kaleidoscope of heretofore impossible pig colors commenced.

Then P-chan became hot pink with lime spots and kinda stayed that way.

A loud rumbling emerged from the swine's stomach, and suddenly, he was bouncing off the walls.

Ranma experimentally caught the piggy and began to dribble him.

"Hey! He bounce- Itai!"

"Leave him alone!"

Akane cradled P-chan worriedly. "Oh P-chan, I'm sorry. I should have known ramen is not for piglets." The rest of the household face-vaulted.

P-chan himself was in a very different world. Strange gelatinous blobs flew through the air, shedding rainbow light over the room.

Suddenly P-chan spasmed, leaping out of Akane's arms and into the air.

"P-chan!" She cried in shock.

Ryouga peddled his feet frantically, filled with a rush of adrenalin. As his toxin-induced coloring faded, he opened his mouth, and bwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed... and sweatdropped.

With a sinking feeling he realized he was still in the air.

A single yellow and black feather drifted to the floor.

Ryouga felt tears well up in his little piggy eyes at the expression of dawning horror on Akane's face.

"P-p-P-chan?" She asked tentatively. She opened her mouth to say more, but Ranma interrupted her with a low whistle.

"I always told you your cooking caused unspeakable toxic-induced mutations," Ranma said without thinking.

"How can you pick on me at a time like this?!" She screamed with rage, and pulled out her mallet-sama.

Ryouga took the opportunity to fly upstairs, his yellow and black patterned wings shedding feathers everywhere as they beat furiously.

Ranma found P-chan tangled in the draperies of Kasumi's room, desperately trying to beat free. He liberated the hapless pig, and took him to the furo, which he knew Ryouga had been looking for.

As soon as he tossed him in the bathwater, Ryouga made an attempt to strangle him. Ranma had been expecting this though, and after much wrestling mananged to get Ryouga in a headlock.

"So how is it my fault this time," he said, affecting a bored tone.

"As if you need to ask! That meal was meant for you Ranma, but I'm the one who ends up suffering for it, as always! Now Akane looks at me as some sort of monster! Curse you, Ranma!" Tears (of bitterness, as he would term it)were beginning to well up in his eyes.

"Now wait just a second," Ranma protested. When Ryouga started in with the waterworks, he knew things could get out of hand, and fast.

"No one made you eat that... that thing. Besides, it's at a time like this that you should be counting your blessings! At least nothing seems to be affecting your human form!"

Ryouga paused to consider this, checking himself over.

"And I hope this experience got a valuable lesson through your thick skull," Ranma countinued. "Never ever eat Akane's cooking."

This time Ryouga got him in a headlock.

It had been nearly a week since the incident. Akane wasn't letting her little P-chan out of her sight, worried there might be side effects to P-chan's new appendages, so Ryouga enjoyed a prolonged stay at the Tendo's. It was Kasumi, though, that noticed it.

"Oh my, Akane," she said one evening as the family was watching television. "P-chan appears to have some bumps on his head." The eldest sister was looking quizzically at the small animal in Akane's arms.

Akane looked down and gasped. "Oh, you're right! Bad ones too! Oh P-chan, when did this happen?" Ryouga crossed his eyes and fluffed his wings, irritated that he could not see the objects of scrutiny himself.

"Hey, le'me see," Ranma asked, entering Ryouga's line of sight. He plucked the winged piglet from Akane's arms, squinting intently at the sharp little bumps that jotted side by side from the top of P-chan's forehead.

"Hey," he began. "These look kinda like-"

"Ranma!" Akane yelled, swiping at his head with a pillow. "I bet you hit P-chan, didn't you? You're always picking on him!"

"Hey, I did not!" Ranma shouted defensively, and the two set in on one of their trademark arguements, P-chan's strange bumps forgotten.

It was later on, after most of the house had drifted off to sleep, that P-chan flew from Akane's arms to hunt for furo. Instead he found Ranma's room, but that was just as well seeing as how that was his second stop.

Poking at the sleeping Ranma's cheek he tried to say "Pssst" but it came out more like a cough.

[Keep it Down Boy!], the panda's sign came down and P-chan lept out of the way, narrowly avoiding being squashed. Luckily, the sign did score its objective and Ranma awoke, wincing and rubbing his head.

"Nanda yo..." He noticed the small piglet at the side of his bedroll and understood. Him leading and P-chan flying they made their way to the furo. When Ranma finished getting the bath ready the piglet dove in.

"Ranma, this is serious," Ryouga began, breaking the surface. "Those bumps on my head aren't ordinary at all, I haven't run into anything all day!"

"Yeah, I noticed," Ranma responded, unnaturally serious for once as well. "When I first saw them I thought... well... they looked a little like horns."

"It looks like I'm not done transforming from that stuff yet." Ryouga looked miserable. Ranma tried to smile brightly.

"Hey man, what do you say I ask Akane if I can run you down to Tofu's tomorrow? I heard her say she's going out with friends so she won't be around in case this is something curse-related."

Ryouga's eyes filled with tears. "Thank you Ranma," he sobbed, shaking Ranma's hands vigorously. "One minute you're the scourge of the earth and the next you're the best pal ever!"

"Er, thanks...I guess." Ranma sweatdropped.

"Hmmm..." Ono Tofu carefully examined the weepy piglet in his hands, straightening and bending the wings experimentally.

"...And these spines just appeared this morning." Ranma finished, indicating the thin, stiff spines that protruded in a row down P-chan's back. They had been the only reason Akane had allowed her precious P-chan to spend hours under only the responsibility of Ranma.

"I really don't know what to say," Tofu concluded after his examination. "I've never seen anything like it. You're going to have to go to someone else on this one I'm afraid."

"B-but who else if there Tofu-sensei?" Ranma asked. P-chan nodded in worried agreement.

Tofu thought a moment. "Try Shampoo's great-grandmother. This seems more down her alley."

"Thanks Dr. Tofu," Ranma said, once again infused with hope. P-chan gave a bwee of thanks, and the two were off.

When they came to the Nekohanten, P-chan flew from Ranma's arms just in time to avoid the exuberant Shampoo's bear hug.

"Airen! Mousse on delivery, you just in time for date!"

"Erk, Shampoo I ain't here for a date. I gotta speak to the old ghoul-"

"Aiyah! Than time to discuss wedding plans, yes?"

"What have we here?" They turned their attention to Cologne's entrance, where she had caught a flying piglet and was examining it with intense scrutiny.

"He's been changing ever since he ate some of Akane's cooking. Do you know what's wrong with him old ghoul?" Ranma asked, disturbed by the old woman's seriousness.

Cologne ignored him, running her hands along P-chan's spines. The pig shivered.

Suddenly Cologne gasped. "It can't be... these features... I haven't seen such a thing since I was a small child!"

"What is it Great-grandmother?" Shampoo asked worriedly. Without response Cologne hopped out of the room, returning a moment later with a heavy Chinese tome. She opened it to a illustrated page.

"Aiyah!"

On the page was a picture of a small, scaled animal. Two ribbed horns curled from its forehead and down its back was a trail of long, thin spines. A pair of feathered wings adorned its shoulders. It was breathing fire.

Cologne pointed to the caption beneath the picture. ±©ÔêµÄÈË. Dragon.

"I believe he's becoming a breed of dragon native to the mountainous regions of western China," she explained evenly. "No doubt something to do with his trip to Jusenkyo. Exactly what did that Tendou girl cook again?"

"Oh man," Ranma said, still staring at the illustration. "Never ever eat Akane's cooking."

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