In summer 2000 I went to Lanzarote with some of my friends at uni, Darcy, Jo, Tom, Gemma, Lin
and Dan along with my sister, Claire. It was a really funky holiday
and I think we all got along really well, which I feel is unusual for a group that size. We
met a very funky bar person called Ian, who gave us loads of free drinks and took us on an
excellent night out in the town.
I did loads of funky new things, eg swimming in the sea (I think any english sea is way too
cold I'm afraid) and climbing volcanoes, as well as visiting amazing caves, markets, drinking
funky new drinks (I don't think any of us will forget the Honey Rum!!), Aquaparks, building funky
things on the beach, such as sea turtles and large eight seater planes (hey, we had to get all of
us out of there!) And if I may say so I think Captain Pocock performed excellently under
very trying circumstances to land the plane... Ahem! Where was I... Oh yeah, nearly visiting nudist
beaches...Eating out... VV funky holiday! But shame about the beer!!!!!!!!!
I also learnt never to buy a Citroën Xantia as they are completely cruddy (that is the car
we hired out)!
So here are a little collection of stories that stand out in my mind, and some pics too... Assuming you are one of those who went, if you have any little tales from the holiday email me them, and maybe's I'll put them on :-)
Arrival - which was *far* from smooth!!
An all NEW way of swearing
PISSED! But on THREE beers?!?
Any one for a Barbeque? Give us a few years, and we'll be right back!
Wicked Anthems of the Holiday
The bastard drank the last pint!!
Psycho Hose Beast From Hell Flies Again
Well, I dunno about you, but I think it tastes salty
We arrived at Lanzarote at about 6pm, which was cool and we were all set to have
an easy night doing some exploring and general relaxing. Little did we know how events
would turn.
Lin and I were driving, so we went to get the cars. we were completely
unable to find
arrivals and so had to settle for departures. We parked the cars and went to find arrivals
on foot, where we had left our friends. We found them, and then forced them to walk
quite a way back to the cars, and I have to say the Ladies in the group did an excellent
job on pushing 8 peoples luggage ;-)
Car 1 leaves the car park,
and gets a pushy Taxi driver up it's bum. It hastily follows the signs to the "Salidar",
off to the left.
When Car 1 gets to a stopping point, it waits for Car 2. And waits. Car 2 doesn't
come around the bend. In fact it isn't anywhere in the airport.
Car 2, or rather the contents of it, is sat in the bar casually sipping cocktails.
You know how, right, when your mates take the mick and you give them,
in a friendly way, the finger. Or two, depending on how you feel.
Now, imagine,
if you will, being very tired, and having, in fractions of second, to make the decision:
"One finger or two?"
I was confronted by just such a situation in Lanzarote. Unfortunately,
my brain, unable to cope with such a dexterous motion, was only able to produce a single finger
to the little oik.
It was, and still is, to my deep regret and shame that my brain elected my index finger for the job.
So, next time your friends are really pissing you off, why not make a complete fool of yourself too?
Note to Women: No, I wouldn't expect you to understand, it's a male bonding thing. Stick to shopping
I have never been quite as out of it as I was on this one particular night in Lanzarote. I did loads of ridiculous things, that I am not going to go into here. I only drank 3 pints, of bloomin' Lager, but I have never been so blasted and spaced out. I have gaps in my memory that night the size of ice-bergs and have no idea how I achieved the dizzy heights of being quite so light headed. Well, I have my suspicions, but I'm not gonna share ;-)
One night, to save (?) some money, we decided to have a barbeque. It was a good idea.
The only things we needed was a barbeque, and food. Lin and I set off in hope of finding these
two essential within well, at least a reasonable time. After about half an hour, we established
you couldn't purchase such things close to the apartments, and so we decided to take a car into
Arrecife (the Capital of Lanzarote). We had no idea where we were going, but it all adds to the
sense of adventure in what is, I guess, the closest cooking style we get to our ancient
predecessors who cooked dino steaks on an open fire. We parked the car, and fumbled through
the parking meter (complicated things in a foreign language), before heading through a load
of back streets towards what we still suspect is the center of the Great Capital. In one
department store, we find Barbeques (yay!) and a mini supermarket!! We buy Sweetcorn, chicken, beefburgers,
saussages, tomato sauce, bread, wine and some coated chicken, which later transforms on the Barbeque
into fish... Some things only we can achieve don'tcha think Lin?
Anyways, we set off back to the
apartments, and just over two hours later, are finally able to present people with something that
still needs cooking. Dan did a great job :-)
Just a shame that it turned out no-one was especially hungry! still, it was a nice trip out :-)
There were three anthems (Top hits all of them) that seemed to surface during the holiday...
Maybes I'll try to obtain some recordings and put them on here. We'll see. It isn't an area of Web pages I've looked at before.
It's funny, sometimes you are friends with someone, and you think there wouldn't be anything
to come between that friendship. You get on really well, don't argue (not too much anyways).
Appreciate each others space, and are there for each other. And then, in retrospect you realise
in fact it is only a fine balance, and it can take anything, no matter how small, to tip that
precarious balance.
Oh, on the surface it isn't important, a little thing: but then it never is, is it?
This is a bitter tale.
This was the name given to one of my friends Girlfriends, who was to say the least a little odd. Little did I know that she was going to be paying me a visit in Lanzarote. But who would have thought she would have come in that embodyment? Just lucky that Darcy managed to catch her under a glass, I guess.
One thing I think I will remember, not necessarily fondly, from this holiday is the local delicacy (about this I am dubious) of potatoes that have been cunningly covered in a few millimeters of rock salt. Which are really great for a bit, especially with the funky dips they give you. But in essence make your mouth feel scoured out, and sore and give you one hell of a thirst. If you want to know my honest opinion, I have a sneaky suspicion the local resauraunters laugh every time some unsuspecting english tourist orders them. If this is the case, Darcy is sooo taken in by them it's untrue and this way, I can get a laugh too 3;-) TOP
