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Poems For Our Four Legged Ones


Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in
all the world is more grateful for kindness than the
loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I might
lick your hand between blows, your patience and
understanding will more quickly teach me the things
you would have me learn.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's
sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging
of my tail when your footsteps fall upon my waiting
ear. Please take me inside when it is cold and wet,
for I am a domesticated animal, no longer accustomed
to bitter elements.
I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting
at your feet beside the hearth.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell
you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and
play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and
stand ready, willing, and able to protect you with my
life, should your life be in danger.
And, my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer
enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make
heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having
any fun. Please see that my trusting life is taken
gently, I shall leave this earth knowing with the
last breath I draw that my fate was alwayssafest in
your hands.
- Anonymous


If you require a puppy
That isn't noisy and doesn't chew,
Who won't pee on the carpet,
or one who Will never shed or make a mess,
And Will never bite under severe duress,
There's only one breed that will bring you joy,
It's a Plush Stuffed Toy!



MOVING", that's the reason I was dumped at the shelter

The word still makes me tremble. I had lived with my
family ever since I was born. I still remember my spot
on their bed and playing ball with the kids. At the
shelter, the other dogs growled and barked at me. The
staff did not give me a nice bed to sleep on. I was
given a light blanket, some food, and a concrete floor
I waited for my owners to come and take me back home
Surely this was only temporary. I was their baby they
told me so. But my loving family never came back.

"YOU NEED ROOM TO RUN", was the second reason I was
returned to the shelter. My heart sank. I had just
adjusted to the brand new life and had grown to love
my new family. What good is room to run without your
best friend? Once again, a family turned their backs
on me. This time, the shelter was an easier place to
be. It wasn't as scary. The staff and routine were
familiar and although I wasn't sleeping at the foot
of the bed, I knew they loved me.

"SEPERATION ANXIETY", is the reason I'm back again.
I became so afraid of being abandoned that I destroyed
things in the house trying to find my people when they
went out. Can you blame me? I'm only 4 years old and
have had three different homes already. The only people
who have been loyal to me are the people here at the
shelter. That's why I'll never leave here again. It's
too hard on my heart.

"BITING", is the reason I'm scheduled to be euthanized
tomorrow. I've been deemed unadoptable. I only snapped
because I was scared . . . I would never have truly hurt
anyone. Anyways, good, that's exactly what I wanted. The
only people who have ever truly loved me are here at the
shelter. If I can't live here, then I don't want to live
at all. I'm a little afraid to die because just maybe,
tomorrow is the day my family will come back for me.
Most likely though, it isn't. They probably don't even
think about me anymore and won't even realize that as
they are playing ball with their new puppy, I will be
taking my last breath.

- Author Unknown


There is a formula for figuring out how bed space is
allocated. It is called the "Foot Rule".

You start by determining the total number of feet (as
in those at the end of the legs, not the kind made up
by inches). Then you divide that total by the number of
feet belonging to the person(s) or dog(s) in question.

This is how it works: You and husband share your bed with
1 dog. You and your husband total 4 feet and the dog also
has 4 feet. That is a total of 8 feet. The dog has 4 out
of 8 feet or 50%, therefore, the dog gets 50% of the bed.
You could work this in reverse as well.

You have 2 out of 8 feet or 25% and so does your husband,
so each of you gets 25% and the dog gets 50%.

Now I have 5 dogs. At 4 feet per dog, that is 20 feet. Add
to that my 2 feet and we have a total of 22 feet in the bed.
I have 2 out of 22 feet which is 1/11th or 9.1% of the bed.
The dogs, since they share a total of 20 of 22 feet, get
10/11ths or 90.9% of the bed.

Simple isn't it?!

Once I figured out my percent of the bed space, the next
step was to work out the exact area that I am entitled to.
My bed is a California King which is approximately 6 ft x
7 ft. Here is the math: 6 ft x 7 ft = 42 square feet 42
square feet = 6048 square inches 9.1% of 6048 = 550 square
inches 550 square inches = 45.8 total inches 45.8 inches =
3.8 total feet In order to determine the exact size of my
bed space, I needed to know the percentage of length to
width - this comes out to 54% long to 46% wide.

When I apply these percentages to my spot: 550 square inches
x 54% = 297 square inches 550 square inches x 46% = 253
square inches 297 square inches = 24.7 inches 253 square
inches = 21.1 inches 24.7 inches = 2.1 feet 21.1 inches =
1.8 feet.

Now that the math is all done, the figures show that the
dimensions of my part of the bed are 2.1 feet by 1.8feet
or in other words:

- Anonymous


Please help! After two long years of being on a waiting list
for an exotic rare breed dog, we were finally notified by the
breeder that at long last, our number has come up, and...

We must IMMEDIATELY get rid of our children now, because we
just KNOW how time consuming our new little puppy is going to
be! Since our puppy will be arriving on Monday, we MUST place
the children in new homes this weekend!!!

They are described as:
One male, white, blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old.
Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Name is Tommy.
Temperament tested. Current on all shots. Tonsils removed
already and very healthy condition! Tommy eats everything,
is very clean, house trained and gets along well with others.
Does not run with scissors and with a little time and
training,he will do well in a new home.

One female, strawberry blonde hair, green eyes. Three years
old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Her name
is Mary. Temperament tested, but needs a little attitude adjusting
occasionally. She is current on all shots, tonsils out, and
is very healthy and happy (mostly.) Gets along well with
little boys, but does not like to share toys. She is house
trained, and would do best in a one child household.

We really LOVE our children, and want to do what is best for
them. I hope you understand, that ours is a UNIQUE situation,
and we have a real emergency here! They MUST be placed by
Sunday night at the latest.

- Anonymous


They will not go quietly, the dogs who've shared
our lives. In subtle ways they let us know their
spirit still survives. Old habits still make us
think we hear a barking at the door.Or step back
when we drop a tasty morsel on the floor. Our feet
still go around the place the food dish used to be,
And, sometimes, coming home at night, we miss them
terribly. Although time may bring new friends and a
new food dish to fill, That one place in our hearts
belongs to them...and always will.

(Linda Barnes)


A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has
provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"
Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked
with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am
lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how
much you love me."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for
you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection
of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you
cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or
unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you
as you are and will love
you as I do, in spite of yourself."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam.

And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new
animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in
the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new
animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will
be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved

And Adam was comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel
came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with
pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he
is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is
loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion
who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is.

The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will
know that he is not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam.

And Cat would not obey Adam.

And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he
was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased.

And Adam was greatly improved

And Dog was happy.

And the cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.

- Anonymous


The Secret to living with Bull Terriers is to expect the
unexpected. When you think that you have experienced
EVERYTHING that can possible happen. Think again? Always
imagine the worst situation that can occur and it will
probably happen

True...There are MANY mellow bullies out there but TWICE
as many that will tax the mind relative as to what they
can get into next. Just when you think that everything is
safe and puppy proof, a freak accident will occur and damage
will be done.


1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time.
They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they
will appreciate long comforting dog leans.

2. They may come home with large bags of things they call
gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

3. be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They
seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how
you look with fake antlers.

4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up
in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations.
Bizarre as this may seem to you. It is an important ritual
for your humans, so there are some things you need to know.

4a. - don't pee on the tree.
4b. - don't drink the water in the container that holds the
4c. - mind your tail when you are near the tree.
4d. - if there are packages under the tree, even ones that
smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip
them open.
4e. - don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny looking
hole in the wall to the tree.

5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of stranger to
come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of
fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:
5a. - not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans.
5b. - don't eat off the buffet table.
5c. - beg for goodies subtly.
5d. - be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your
5e. - don't drink out of glasses that are left within your

6. Like-wise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your
manners will also be important:
6a. - observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in
other people's houses. (4a ia particulary important).
6b. - respect the territory of other animals that may live
in the house.
6c. - tolerate children.
6d. - turn on your charm big time.

7. A BIG man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may
emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night.


- Anonymous


Unlike most days at Rainbow Bridge, this day dawned
cold and gray, damp as a swamp and as dismal as could
be imagined. All of the recent arrivals had no idea
what to think, as they had never experienced a day
like this before. But the animals who had been waiting
for their beloved people knew exactly what was going
on and started to gather at the pathway leading to The
Bridge to watch.

It wasn't long before an elderly animal came into view,
head hung low and tail dragging. The other animals, the
ones who had been there for while, knew what his story
was right away, for they had seen this happen far too often.

He approached slowly, obviously in great emotional pain,
but with no sign of injury or illness. Unlike all of the
other animals waiting at The Bridge,this animal had not
been restored to youth and made healthy and vigorous again.

As he walked toward The Bridge, he watched
all of the other animals watching him. He
knew he was out of place here and the sooner
he could cross over, the happier he would be.
But, alas, as he approached The Bridge, his
way was barred by the appearance of an Angel
who apologized, but told him that he would not be able to
pass. Only those animals who were with their people could
pass over Rainbow Bridge.

With no place else to turn to, the elderly animal turned
towards the fields before The Bridge and saw a group of
other animals like himself, also elderly and infirm. They
weren't playing, but rather simply lying on the green grass,
forlornly staring out at the pathway leading to The Bridge.
And so, he took his place among them, watching the pathway
and waiting.

One of the newest arrivals at The Bridge didn't understand
what he had just witnessed and asked one of the animals that
had been there for a while to explain it to him.

"You see, that poor animal was a rescue. He was turned in
to rescue just as you see him now, an older animal with his
fur graying and his eyes clouding. He never made it out of
rescue and passed on with only the love of his rescuer to
comfort him as he left his earthly existance. Because he had
no family to give his love to, he has no one to escort him
across The Bridge."

The first animal thought about this for a minute and then
asked, "So what will happen now?" As he was about to receive
his answer, the clouds suddenly parted and the gloom lifted.
Approaching The Bridge could be seen a single person and
among the older animals, a whole group was suddenly bathed
in a golden light and they were all young and healthy again,
just as they were in the prime of life.

"Watch, and see.", said the second animal. A second group
of animals from those waiting came to the pathway and bowed
low as the person neared. At each bowed head, the person
offered a pat on the head or a scratch behind the ears. The
newly restored animals fell into line and followed him towards
The Bridge. They all crossed The Bridge together.

"What happened?"

"That was a rescuer. The animals you saw bowing in respect
were those who found new homes because of his work. They
will cross when their new families arrive. Those you saw
restored were those who never found homes. When a rescuer
arrives, they are allowed to perform one, final act of rescue.
They are allowed to escort those poor animals that they
couldn't place on earth across The Rainbow Bridge."

- Anonymous


My family brought me home cradled in their arms.
They cuddled me and smiled at me and said I was
full of charm. They played with me and laughed
with me and showered me with toys.

I sure do love my family, especially the girls
and boys. The children loved to feed me, they
gave me special treats. They even let me sleep
with them -- all snuggled in the sheets. I used
to go for walks, often several times a day.They
even fought to hold the leash, I'm very proud to
say. These are the things I'll not forget --
a cherished memory.

I now live in the shelter-without my family.
They used to laugh and praise me when I played
with that old shoe. But I didn't know the difference
between the old ones and the new. The kids and I
would grab a rag, for hours we would tug. So I thought
I did the right thing when I chewed the bedroom rug.

They said that I was out of control, and would have
to live outside. This I did not understand, although
I tried and tried. The walks stopped, one by one;
they said they hadn't time. I wish that I could change
things, I wish I knew my crime.

My life became so lonely, in the backyard, on a chain.
I barked and barked all day long to keep from going
insane. So they brought me to the shelter but were
embarrassed to say why. They said I caused an allergy,
and then they each kissed me good-bye. If I'd only had
some classes, as a little pup. I wouldn't have been so
hard to handle when I was all grown up.

"You only have one day left." I heard the worker say.
Does that mean I have a second chance?


- Anomyous


ANGULATION - Degree to which dog handlers will bend
over backwards to impress the judges.

BALANCE - How to arrange the checkbook so your spouse
won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last
month. Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked.

BITCH - A. Name for a lady dog.
B. Name often overheard at dog shows, not always to
describe a lady dog.

COAT - The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls
out about one week before the Specialty show.

DAM - A. A lady dog with children.
B. Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as
losers leave the ring.

ELBOW - Method of getting to ringside when late.

EXPRESSION - "Sweet" look adopted by dogs while
staring ravenously at chunks of liver.

FANCIER - Degree to which some gentlemen handlers
dress more than others.

FEATHERING - What winners are accused of doing to
judges' nests.

FRONT - Part of the dog often stacked toward the
outside of the ring.

HEEL - A. You feel like when your dog beats the
one you had just sold to an eager novice.
B. Expression often screamed to attract the
attention of deaf dogs.

HEIGHT - As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement
which all champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 inch.

HOCK - A way of financing your dog shows by the
use of jewelry such as wedding rings.

KENNEL - Where you go when the kids fight and
your spouse yells at you.

LITTER - Trash left all over the building and
parking lot after a dog show.

MUZZLE - What to put on your kids at a dog show
to prevent them from calling your competition
what they overheard you call him last night.

NOSEPRINTS - Cute marks left all over your French

OUTCROSSING - What your spouse tells the minister
what you are doing out in the kennel with the dog
and the bitch.

POINTS - Minute, invisible awards for winning which
you cannot convince your spouse are more important
than cash prizes.

PUPPIES - Small, dog like food-processing machines
with the ability to stink up an entire house and
collectively deafen a band of magpies (These
creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come
with a leaky system, and can also be dangerous to
weak hearts and bank accounts)

- Anomyous


Just this side of Heaven is a place called
Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has
been especially close to someone here, that
pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are
meadows and hills for all of our special
friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine
and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are
restored to health and vigor, those who were
hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again,
just as we remember in our dreams of days and
times gone by. The animals are happy and content...
except for one small thing they each miss
someone very special, someone who was left behind.

They all run and play together... but the day
comes when one suddenly stops and looks into
the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His
eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly he breaks
from the group, flying over the green grass,
faster and faster. You have been spotted, and
when you and your friend finally meet, you
cling together in joyous reunion, never to be
parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your
face.. your hands again caress the beloved head
~ you look once more into those trusting eyes,
so long gone from your life, but never
~ absent ~ from your heart.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...

*Author Unknown*

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