Jesus Today

One day I was sitting there pondering the aspects of religion. Have you ever stopped to think how cool it would be to hang with Jesus. You know the Son of God. I know your thinking Chez is out of his mind as usual but give me a chance. Imagine rolling down the road with four of your buds, and Jesus. All of you are hungry as hell. One of you suggests stopping by the nearest McDonalds, but you have a total of $4.50 between all of you, and Jesus is broke as usual being he keeps giving all his dough away. Jesus insists just pull up through the drive through and he'll take care of everything. Your buddy pulls up to the giant order microphone, Jesus leans his head out the window and orders" Ya...ummm... Ill take one fillet of fish meal....super sized ...and make that a coke with that."....the cashier responds "..that will be $4.35 please pull around..." .You roll up to the window Jesus hands the cashier the $4.50 and insists that she keep the change. One buddy gets kind of upset and blurts out" Jesus...Jesus, Why do you always tell everyone to keep the change !!!" Jesus laughs and takes the meal. We all look at him blankly, like "what now smart ass we have 1 fish sandwich, some fries and a 1 coke, and we got 6 hungry mofo's." Jesus places the food on his lap, bows his head says a few words, then Pow!!!! All of a sudden there's like 12 fish sandwiches, 6 large fries and 6 large cokes. Everyone rejoices "Damn Jesus your the MAN!!!" 

That's only one situation. Just imagine your at a buddies house whose parents are gone for the weekend, but the dumbass forgot to hit beer world for a keg. Everyone's bummed out till Jesus Shows up. He walks over to the sink, taps lightly on the faucet, then turns it on. Suddenly the cold water is M.G.D. and the hot water is Coors Light!! THE NEVER ENDING KEG! Of course there are the obvious drawbacks. You would have to watch it if Jesus got drunk. First off the Son of God would have to have some tolerance, probably could bong a six-pack and not feel a thing. By chance he would catch a buzz, it could get dangerous, performing miracles all over the place. Filling your bath tub full of water and taking bets on how long he could stand on it, bringing the dog your buried in your back yard when you were five back to life. Overall though I would have to say he would have been a cool dude to chill with. (The comments of Bobbychez are in no way meant to offend the gay community or any gay gay man)