<song time>
Way down below Lake Erie...
Way down below the Lake...
She ate cake...
Well, maybe steak...
My mistake...
</song time>

As Clevel head through the door, "Aye, aye captain," was all he heard. As he walked back to his cabin, he had the look about him as if a large reptilian creature had just eaten his kitten. "A show? A show? A..." he repeated about a million times to himself until he was safely within the cozy confines of his cabin. He shut the door, turned out the lights, and fell into his nice warm bed. There he laid, eyes wide open, and stared at the ceiling though since his surroundings were pitch-black, it really didn't make any difference whether his eyes were open or shut. There he laid and he laid there and laid there he did and he did do it well. He did nothing else but lay and look into the darkness. He had absolutely no thoughts running through his head at all, nothing, zip, nada, zilch. It was if his brain had gone on a holiday and had forgotten to take the rest of him.

Then a knock, gently rap, rap-tap-tapping upon his cabin door and Clevel was once again one person in body and mind. "You may enter," were the words that came from his mouth and after he had spoken, he had the impression that the act of speaking was entirely alien to his body. The thought of such made he launch into a fit of coughing which he hoped would end quickly, but it continued for quite some time relatively speaking as coughing goes. The door opened slowly and Clevel was blinded momentarily and his eyes had difficulty focusing once they had become adjusted to this new experience. Clevel thought that this must be what its like to be born and Clevel would be reborn this day though he wasn't absolutely sure what day it was, but he did know that this was one of the days of the week. Since not completely able to focus on details, Clevel could tell from the shape of the figures standing in the doorway that one was on the short side and the other was somewhat larger.

"Clevel, do you know how long you've been in here?" said the smaller of the two in an accent that Clevel knew but was having some trouble remembering where he had heard the voice before.

"Well, no..." and suddenly he realized that the voice was from one of the WeeFolk, but not just any WeeFolk, this voice had come from THE WeeFolk person-type individual, Paddy.

"Well, me lad, you have been in here for three weeks, three weeks, three long weeks. You're crew was worried that something terrible had happened to you, but were afraid to check and see if all was well," Paddy spoke in a tone that was more friendly than was commanding. "And hell laddy, I was worried since I was the one who had to do what the Creators wanted and placed you in this situation. I feel more than a little responsible for what you went through and to what happened three weeks ago.

"When it happened, the first reaction of the Creators was that this Wee Experiment had been a failure, and you had become nothing but a savage amongst the civilized peoples of this universe. Unfortunately, They hadn't counted on the reaction of the viewing public. Those who had tuned in that night and there were a large number of them who did, felt that you were absolutely correct in your handling of the situation and many had been hoping that you would finally wise up to what was going on around you, and that you would do something - anything - to throw a monkey wrench into the whole Experiment. From the standpoint of the Creators, you had thrown more like a gorilla wrench into the works and they weren't too happy about the way this unfortunate situation unfolded. And They had to replace the galleon and its crew at a rather high cost - it was the largest ship of its type ever constructed and the crew was the best from all ports in the universe. They blew it and everyone knows it. They never thought that an Experiment could go so horribly wrong and yet it did.

"I, for one, am here to say I'm sorry, me lad and I am also here to say that the Creators have decided (with more than a little persuading from the viewing public) that you can live out your days in any manner you see fit without everyone in the universe, other than you of course, knowing what you are doing at any given moment on any given day. You have been released from public eye," Paddy knew that Clevel was beginning to tune him out so he decided to leave it at that.

As his eye became more accustomed to the afterbirth, Clevel could tell that Number One was the other voice, somewhat taller figure that was accompanying Paddy. Ignoring Paddy for a moment, all Clevel could say is, "Number One, you have your orders and I expect them to be carried out."

"Aye, aye captain. We are within three days of reaching our destination and I can see nothing but smooth sailing from this point on," Number One said with a wink and a big grin. With this acknowledgement, Number One saluted and returned to his post.

This left Paddy alone in the doorway and Clevel still lying upon his comfy bed. "You have to be starving, captain. Let's go down to the galley and get something to munch upon," Paddy said in a manner that Clevel thought was more like two individuals of equal status conversing than that of the Great Leprechaun and a lowly pirate.

Clevel went to move and for a brief instance, he thought that he had lost the ability to control his bodily functions. When this afterbirthin' experience had passed, Clevel sat up with a humble, "Okie-dokie."

Clevel started towards the door and Paddy raised a hand as if he was singing Stop, in the Name of Love and said with a grin and a giggle, "Ya know, me lad, maybe you had better get a shower and cleaned up a wee bit. You really should put on a good show for the crew."

A lifting of the arm and the customary smelling of the pits and Clevel realized that this was true. And of he walked to the shower and went through the process of making himself an acceptable member of the pirating community. Pirates do have rather high standards and Clevel in no way wanted to go against traditional swashbuckler ways.

Out of the shower and feeling as fresh as a newborn placed in a hospital for all to see, Clevel felt like he had cleansed himself of all the dirt of all his thirty-something years that he roamed about this universe, 27 of which he had spent as a carefree lad in Clevelandia. His carefree days, his days of being the Dread Pirate were now over and he knew it. He just wasn't ready for everyone else to know it yet. Paddy backed from the doorway and turned as Clevel walked by and together the walked to the galley to enjoy a wee bit to satisfy that twinge of hunger that both were feeling, but for different reasons - Paddy had been sick to his stomach from what had happened and having to explain to Clevel the situation and apologize for all that had happen; and Clevel, who had not eaten or for that matter moved for 21 days, had clear enough thoughts that he remembered that he had to eat to survive.

Together they walked without saying a word, this was not a bad thing for they both looked rather content in the cards that the Creators had dealt them or at least they were content in the fact they had made the best of bluffing to win this hand. And they walked and walked for what seemed like miles for the simple reason that it was in fact miles from the captain's quarters to the galley. And they walked passed countless members of the crew who all gave them various looks of awe or dismay and still no one said a word - not a word from Clevel, not a word from Paddy, not a word from any of the numerous members of the crew. The only sound that could be heard was the sound made by the two mightiest individuals aboard this might pirate ship.

Into the galley they both strolled and made their way to the food line. Everyone who had been in line took three steps backwards and let the mighty ones pass unobstructed. Again with the looks of awe and dismay, but the two had grown accustomed to such looks and at the moment, neither of them cared about the thoughts of others on the ship. Both knew that they had reached a turning point in their lives and one had already reached it and the other knew that he would reach it though he hadn't finalized the plans as of yet.

Unto the server of the grub Clevel said, "Gimme one of everything being served, my good fellow."

"Aye, aye captain!" the server went into action creating the mother of all meals for his captain.

There was so much food piled upon the tray that Clevel thought that he just might have to ask for assistance in carrying it back to the captain's tables, but being a mostly feared and highly respect Dread Pirate, Clevel knew that he had to act alone in such matters.

Paddy, on the other hand, took only small portions - being a being of small stature - of selected food products and he could easily manage to carry the tray as well as a drink back to the tale of honor.

Both were seated and quickly commenced to devouring what had been placed upon their trays. And everyone in the galley watched in awe and dismay at the orgy of eating, but no one said a word - not even a whisper. And they ate and ate until in complimentary fashion, Clevel let out a belch that would've been as memorable as the Kanooter Dance if it had been captured on film for the entire universe to witness. But unfortunately, the belch was never saved for posterity and its greatness only lives on in urban legends.

"A most excellent meal on a glorious day such as this," Clevel finally decided that it was a good time to start communicating with the outside world again, "though I am a wee bit curious as to what we were discussing, Paddy. My brain seems to have had some trouble engaging and I'm not entirely sure what has happen during the course of my brief holiday."

"Again, I'm sorry for what has happen, Clevel. The Creators have decided that you will not go the way of other failed Experiments and you are free to live out your days as you deem appropriate without your days being broadcast over the entire universe," Paddy said in a fashion that seemed to be a wee bit humble to Clevel, but he could be mistaken in this regard since he was still a wee bit foggy when it came to thought processes. "In addition to your designation as the Dread Pirate, I have taken it upon myself to see to it that you also shall be regarded as the Wise Ass having proven yourself a most capable Smart Ass."

"I am honored. And there is no need to apologize to me; you were only doing what the Creators instructed you to do. Besides that, I was getting tired of the pirate business anyhow. I had originally thought that it would be filled with fun and excitement, but it became rather boring having everyone surrender peacefully to us, and looking back upon it whole affair, I should've realized that everywhere we went, we were being filmed and that the only reason that everyone surrender was so they could be on camera."

"You are worthy of the Wise Ass title, me lad," Paddy stated after a brief silence where if it had all been on film, the networks would've surely placed a commercial or two. "Now what are you going to do with the rest of your time you will have in this universe?"

After what should've been another commercial break, Clevel finally said, "I'm going home and I'm taking as many of the Indians with me that want to just be left to live out their days free from the watchful eyes of the Creators."

"This is a fine plan, but you do know that..."

"Yes, I know that Clevelandia is no longer there and that the Sea of Erie is only the size of a lake now, but the planet itself is still there and that's where I'm headed."

"I can only wish you all the best in your future you will build upon your world. And you will be happy to know that for the most part, the plant and animal life that you remember will be there in significant number since the Creators destroyed only those areas that were populated by life forms such as yourself. And I have a feeling that most of the crew will be joining just because there have been some rumors circulating that many of the Indians are tired of doing the dirty work for the Creators."

"I can only hope that this is true. I'd hate to be alone on a big blue world with only the plants and animals to converse with," Clevel said and had a look about him as if he had reached Nirvana.

"Number One," Clevel yelled across the galley to his trusty assistant, "how long before we reach Clevelandia?"

"As I told you earlier today, we have about three days before we reach our destination, sir," Number One yelled back without the authority and enthusiasm of the Wise Ass.

"Make it so," Clevel added just to add something that proved he was still the captain of this vessel.

"Aye, aye captain," Number One said less enthusiastically than before and continued to eat his meal until he had reached a point when he could see his reflection in the tray, stood up, and walked back to the bridge.

"Great old Wee One..." Clevel was cut off before he could finish that thought.

"Clevel, you know that I do not like that title in the least and I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't use it when I am within range of hearing it," Paddy said in a tone that was angry and yet not in the least bit happy; a more or less midrange sort of tone that left many questions unanswered and questions for which the pages of this epic tale will not go into for there are only so many pages onto which this tale can be written and the providing every answer to every question that this tale brings up would be an entire work unto itself.

"Okie-dokie, as I was about to say, there is one more wee request that I be making of ye, aaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh," Clevel felt the overwhelming urge to finish out his pirate days in grand pirate fashion. "I be wanting a TV so I be checkin' ta see if I be on TV, see?"

"Well, blow me down," Paddy said though he wasn't nearly as good as Clevel was being a pirate, he did try; and if Clevel had been an instructor in such matters, he would've given Paddy an "A" for effort and a "C" for execution. "So it shall be, me hardy."

After the three days had passed, the L.L. Smithe was well within range of sending those who were going ashore ashore. And Clevel and all the Indians who had lost the desire to serve the Creators in the capacity that they had been employed did so. The lands that were created from the destruction of Clevelandia had turned green in the years that Clevel had been away and Clevel and his merry band of ex-pirates went about colonizing the vast new world (new in a relative sort of way since the world had been wondering around the universe for about 4 and a ½ billion years by the time that it was being recolonized). Clevel had decided that Clevelandia would become the stuff of legends and endless TV docudramas and episodes of Unsolved Mysteries and he rename the land Indianlandia in honor of his glorious crew and current fellow Indianlandians. Being that this "new" world was inhabited by the Dread Pirate (not to mention Kanooter Dancer) Clevel and a fair portion of his crew, fans and the curious and ex-pirates from the far-reaches and not so far-reaches (though this too is a relative term since the universe is a vast place and for the most part habitable world are not usually within less than nine light-years from each other) of the universe came to see the Wise Ass and his people. Some of them never left and became Indianlandians. Indianlandia became one of the greatest tourist attractions with its annual Kanooter Dance and Pirate Festival and retirement planets in the entire universe.

And Clevel spend his remaining day which were quite numerous since he took an early retirement when he was at the pinnacle of piracy career, watching with the Indians the Experiments as played out live before their very eyes. And not once in all those numerous days did anyone equal the greatest of the Wise Ass.