Somebody has placed a Buddy Holly mosaic in my attic
What can I do?
"Run for your life!"
Screams the old man with bag-o-bourban in hand
I followed his advice
And ran for my life from Death...
Or was it Heaven’s Gate?
I ran through the streets of parked cars
I ran through the crowds of people alone
I just ran
I kept running towards a painting
And then Impressionism faded into Cubism
And I ran
‘Til blood poured from eyes like tears
And...
Damn!
It’s a fat Picasso woman
What does she want?
No! I won’t straighten her eyes
The street light flashed
"DO NOT CUT"
Too late for Vincent
He was already minus one ear
Dali yelled, "I’m melting, I’m melting!"
But this ain’t Oz
And I ain’t Dorothy
So I ran
Ansel Adams tried to snap a shot of me
But the Secret Service knocked him to the ground
And I ran before another shot was taken
I ran under a scaffold
From which Michelangelo was painting
Buddy Holly murals across the sky
I ran past a mountain
Where Grandma Moses painted the Ten Commandments
I ran from Manet
And towards Monet
I was mad
Hey, wait a minute
Why am I running?
Buddy Holly in Technicolor!
I must keep running
I ran
Through the streets
Past the windows
Where the plastic people live
I ran under the billboards
That flashed in gigantic small letters -
e.e. cummings
I ran into Albert Camus who told me
"There is only one serious question, my son
And it is not, should I be on the top or bottom?
It is -
Should I kill myself or not?"
I thought to myself -
What a nice guy
But I ran
I ran past Tom Robbins
And he was being eaten by wild mushrooms
And yelled
"This world has no use for another martyr!"
Then Frank Herbert tried to grab me
And make me saviour of the universe
Nice try, pal
The universe doesn't want to be saved
I was as mad as hell
But I ran
I ran past a house
Where Emily Dickinson threw candy at me
And William Shake-a-stick-at-me-and-I'll-knock-you-down
Wrote O-tell-me
And so I did 'cause I'm as mad as...
I'm mad!
I ran even faster past the woman on the corner
Who tried to sell me her soul
"No thanks! I already have one!"
I ran through the places
Where the Mafia
Darts from curb to curb
Jaywalking with a sense of malice
And still I ran
Through an alley where a man tried to sell me snow
BUT IT WAS SUMMER! HA! HA! HA!
And I laughed as I ran
Thomas Aquinas with cross in hand
Tried to exorcise me
But I run alone
Socrates, the mad man he was
Thought he was Play-doh
So, I pushed Plato into a life-size replica of Mr. Bill
A wolf in women's clothing
Was coming down a fire-escape
He had stolen the drapes
It's a tale that would've made Aesop
Bang his head with a blunt instrument-
A tuba
And still I ran
Confucius say
"Jacques Cousteau listen to Calypso music"
Barton say
"What is the sound made by two hands clapping?"
A man in a three-piece velcro suit
Tried to stick by me
But I ran too fast
Hersey, PA declared itself to be part of Switzerland
What could I do?
I am only one man, must of the time
And I am mad
Ye old cow left me a present on the street
"Don't touch that! It's mine!"
Yells the lady with a bag personality
I ran from the Tibetan Monks
And right past the Jolly LLama without blinking
Past the Hitler Youth
Who were watching
Superman IV starring Friedrich Nietzsche
But it was all too comical
Like The Keystone Cops meet Ronald Reagan's Neck
In 3-D
And Kant...
No, I Kant stop running
It's elementary, my dear Watson
I'm mad and I must keep running
A man said to me
"My name is Bond, James Bond"
I said
"Lost, get lost"
I ran
Through the open wall
And out the brick door
I ran through the places
Where the lightning roared
The thunder flashed
And the raindrops felt like lint
But did I care?
No!
Like Lear I shouted into the storm
And when I was through
I ran
Against the flow of time
And my thoughts spanned the universe
And puzzled over the finite space between my ears
Where Buddy Holly lives
I am as mad as mad can be
The Nautilus was 20,000 leagues beyond my brain
And all the Nemos in the world
Couldn't get it surface
Something synthetic tried to divert me
But I ran
Abu-Bakr offered me a dozen doughnuts
I ask him
"What's in the hole in the middle?"
And he ran
Einstein stole my calculator
While Descartes stole my erasable pen
Darwin called me a monkey
But he can't ape my rage
I was as mad as hell
And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it
Thomas Edison had a bright idea
But it was just a filament of my illumination
So, I ran
I ran so fast
Doppler was seeing red
And Lenin was seeing pink
A sign flashed:
Please fasten your seatbelts and extinguish all cigarettes
Bogart and I ran
I ran past a hospital
Where an apple a day keeps the Newton away-
But for good, pal
Then David Bowie pulled a knife on me and said
"This is my knife
I call it a Bowie Knife
Remember the Alamo?"
I replied
"I am THE young American"
Errol Flynn swung a rapier at me
Do I care?
No, Captain Kirk just jammed a turnip between his eyes
Beam him up, Scotland
And dammit, Jim, I ran
Past Honest Abe-
Ex-professional wrestler
Past General Custer who tried to make his last stand
HA! HA!
Not in my way, pal
Geronimo jumped out of my way
'Cause I'm mad as hell
And no one can stop me
Pavlov rang a bell
My mouth watered
But I kept running
Skinner wanted me to stay a while in his box
The offer was electrifying
But I must keep running
Freud wanted me to spent some time on his couch
I thanked him with my fist
I kept running
Past Stradivarius who strummed
A quaint like Sex Pistols tune on a banjo
"I am the latest!" Ali yelled
"No one is later than me!" I yelled back
I ran
Through the streets that echoed Don Giovanni
I ran
Through the places where Poe was nevermore
I ran
Through delusions of grandeur
That weren't so great
I ran
Through Hell without breaking a sweat
I ran
Through the places where even Dorothy
Couldn't wish herself home
I ran
Through the places from which MacArthur never returned-
Places where Bach fades into Wagner-
Places just this far east of Hell
And still I ran
Around multi-armed daVinci creatures-
Past Hemmingway graffiti writers-
Through the pages of a Gutenberg novelette-
Between the strings of Buddy Holly's guitar-
Under the place where the sky fell-
Past the black and white Xerox people-
Over a Charlie Chaplin dirt road-
Into a Rembrandt self-portrait-
Out of a Norman Rockwell family-
Away from Nixon's Waterloo-
Towards Napoleon's Watergate-
And stopping on my Waterchestnuts
I can't go on
I have to stop
Take me I'm yours
I'll conform
No more insanity for me
No-sir-re-bob
And so I lived happily politically correct ever after...

HA! HA! HA!
That'll be the day
When I give up my running
Buddy Holly is out there-
Somewhere
Peggy Sue's driving me on
My search will end someday I fear
'Cause that'll be the day when I die.