THE AISLE SEAT - "PATCH ADAMS"
by Mike McGranaghan
Forget Godzilla and Michael Myers and that fisherman with the hook in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. Forget killer asteroids and raging floods and urban legends and creatures from space. The scariest thing I saw on screen this year were the words "This film is based on a true story" at the beginning of Patch Adams. If someone made a movie like this about my life, I'd hunt down the responsible party and - as Ving Rhames said so memorably in Pulp Fiction - "get medieval on his ass." This is one of the most shamelessly manipulative films I've seen in a long time. I have no idea what the real Patch Adams is like, but as portrayed here, he's the creepiest doctor this side of Jack Kevorkian.
Robin Williams plays the title character who, as the film opens, has committed himself to a mental hospital for depression. His roommate (Michael Jeter) is a schizophrenic who thinks imaginary squirrels are out to get him. We first learn that Patch is enlightened when he helps his roomie stage a war against the faux rodents. So impressed is Patch by his own people skills that he checks himself out of the mental hospital and into a medical school. There, he demonstrates his extroversion to a fellow classmate by bluffing his way into a meat packers' convention, where he is quickly made the keynote speaker.
Patch, you see, feels his gift in life is not only to heal the sick, but to do so through the power of laughter (watching the film, I often wondered if he really wanted to be a circus clown instead). Breaking university policy, he sneaks into the hospital and entertains the sick, putting bedpans on his head and enema bulbs on his nose to elicit laughs. The strict dean (Bob Gunton) disapproves of his antics, apparently believing doctors should be as anal-retentive and unfriendly as possible (there is no gray area in this film, only black-and-white). Thus begins a battle between the non-conforming Patch and the uptight administrators.
If this sounds familiar to you, it's probably because Robin Williams has used this formula time and again. The drill is the same: unconventional funnyman tweaks authority figures with offbeat approach, risks professional catastrophe, and ultimately wins out through the power of good intentions. Instead of Patch Adams, a better title might have been Good Morning, Hospital. Or maybe Dead Doctors Society. This film hits every single cliché of the formula, up to and including the big courtroom scene in which Patch is called before the review board and gives a self-aggrandizing speech about his methods. There's even a twist on the "oh captain, my captain" scene from Dead Poets Society thrown in for good measure.
As if that weren't enough, Patch romances a snotty, stuck-up ice princess (Monica Potter) who lets nothing stand in the way of her success. As shown, the character is more trouble than she's worth, but I guess the filmmakers thought they needed a romantic subplot.
Patch Adams is the work of some very funny people who aren't content to make you laugh; they want to make you cry too. I have no problem with feel-good comedies or tearjerkers, but this one is so incessantly sappy and maudlin that it drove me nuts. Williams is one of the funniest people on the planet, director Tom Shadyac (The Nutty Professor, Liar Liar) knows how to construct a gag, and writer Steve Oedekerk (Nothing to Lose) has a stinging wit. But they work overtime to wrench a tear from the audience's eye. There's no subtlety to their method, just shameless manipulation. You would not believe how low this movie stoops to yank your heartstrings. I won't reveal the exact plot twist I'm referring to, but it leads to the most unintentionally funny scene of the year, in my opinion: after a 5-minute diatribe against God for human suffering, a despondent Patch turns around, sees a butterfly, and decides that all's right with the world again!
Basically, this movie is pap, but I have another big objection. Patch made me very uncomfortable. He spends a lot of time acting like a fool, but doesn't seem to focus on actual medicine. There are a couple throwaway lines about how good his grades are, but the character never really seems as interested in the science of medicine as he does in putting on fake noses and cracking jokes. In one scene, his med school roommate (Phillip S. Hoffman) takes Patch to task for his frivolous attitude toward the profession. And I agreed with the roommate. I also agreed with the dean, who feels that Patch's antics go a little overboard. It's not good for the movie when the antagonists make more sense than the hero. There is a very potent film to be made about the need for doctors to show empathy toward their patients; in fact, it was already made in 1991 as The Doctor. That picture had a brain and a point, both of which Patch Adams desperately needs.
I can't imagine that the real life Patch would like this movie, which makes him seem like a quack. Williams does manage a couple funny moments (his welcome party for a group of visiting gynecologists is priceless) and I really liked Hoffman's supporting performance. But I had a lot of trouble with the tone and philosophy of the film. If you want to know whether you'll have the same trouble with Patch Adams, just ask yourself this very simple question: Who would you rather have operate on you - ER's arrogant Peter Benton or Bozo the Clown?
(
1/2 out of four)
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