songs from the album
THE WORLD TAKES (2003)
what would Physics do?
(c)2003 storm tower records
published by the humans suspect nothing music (ASCAP)
all rights may seem reserved, but get them alone and whoa boy
ROOM ENOUGH
Well we've lived too long
Much longer than we'd wanted
And we grew so dull
Far duller than thought possible
Yet our maudlin wails
Trail any hint of trauma
For though we've no hope
We're still addicts to drama
Are the depths of our sympathies so endless?
Is there anyone that you couldn't love?
The sad are wretched
And the happy are merely wrong
And you shift your pitch
To match who you'll string along
Demonstrate your love
With a straightedge and compass
And prove our lifelines
Are strictly asymptotic
Are the depths of our sympathies so endless?
Is there anyone that you couldn't love?
Are the depths of your sympathies so endless?
Is there anyone that you couldn't love?
Is the breadth of your empathies limitless?
Is there anyone that you couldn't love?
You know it's a long walk home
Don't think that you have to go
Better here than on your own
Better me than all alone
In your youth time was on your side
But the years have not been kind
Where once you could always choose
Here tonight I'll have to do
It's hard to view someone like you
Encumbered by your past
So throw that yoke upon the back
Of somebody designed for that
You're sharp tongued and armed to the teeth
Oh but don't point that thing at me
I'm as far from beautiful
As I am dependable
It's hard to view someone like you
Encumbered by your past
So throw that yoke upon the back
Of somebody designed for that
You pine to climb in someone's arms
It doesn't matter whose
A king would yield his scepter
For a warm body to use
THE BRAND NEW PANIC
It's a bulging bloated orb with a molten core
Ready to explode dribble down your chin
Ruining these baby blue blue jeans
But you've made up your mind
You're going to take a bite
No matter what it does to me
So go ahead dig in
Enjoy the subtle flavors
Of my brand new panic
My brand new panic
It's a preteen playground war
Between knife-fighting hordes
These amateur surgeons tremble like virgins
Fumbling and flailing to the bitter end
Clumsy & unnerving
Yet hardly noteworthy
Doubtlessly embarrassing
In a pantomime reflective
Of my own polemic
With my brand new panic
My brand new panic
But is it wrong
To make yourself go mad
To write a song?
To put Psychosis on the couch
And let it talk?
To offer sympathy
And crib the monologue
Of my brand new panic?
Still there's no sexual metaphor
Permitted on this shore
Our annual retreat
Signs posted the beach
All along the Anhedonian Sea read:
'Every single thing is concave or convex
And you'd better get used to it!'
And all my money's wasted
On uptight vacations
With my brand new panic
My brand new panic
And who knows where we'll go
When I cede all control
To the more charming half of me?
In lieu of flowers
Give in memory of me
c/o my brand new panic
My brand new panic
My brand new panic
My brand new panic
There's something very wrong with me
I know that you've noticed
I cannot even try to hide that
I am a boy in name only
There's something very wrong with me
I'm a boy I'm a boy
I'm a boy in name only
Oh yeah
I know what you want me for
If you ask me I'm not so sure
I'd love to fill your void
But I am a boy in name only
Important pieces are missing
I'm a boy I'm a boy
I'm a boy in name only
Oh yeah
It's strange how my presence
Intersects with your
Plummeting expectations
You've resolved the flaws
Of your aloneness to components
And projected your hopes
Onto my lone axis
Since childhood's hour
I have not been
As others have been
I have not done a thing
For I am a boy in name only
And not worth considering
I'm a boy I'm a boy
I'm a boy in name only
Oh yeah
So there's one
And only one
Thing you get to do
And if you're lucky
You might even get to choose
But you were so certain
You went for the door
Wishing me luck and
Not offering anything more
You were so sure
So there's one
And only one person
You get to know
And if you're lucky
They'll stick around
'Til you go
But you were so certain
You went for the door
Wishing me luck and
Not promising anything more
You were so sure
So there's one
And only one person
You will be
Written in stone
By the time you're twenty-three
But you were so certain
You went for the door
Wishing me luck and
Not promising anything more
You were so sure
And when your half-smile
Has lost its allure
You've wrung your past dry
And there's no tragedy
Left to whore
You will be sure
HUMAN TO THE CORPS
Awakened halfway through basic training
To find that no you'd never volunteered
Impressed by the conduct of your elders
Desertion can't be entertained
Yet, anyway
Issued neither sword nor uniform
Just the regulation acorn CPU
To water and prune
As was shown to you
Once it's taken root
And you
Whether accident or souvenir
You're here this is it
You'd better get used to it
We've made a place for you just you
You'll do you'll have to
Just like that you're thrown into combat
Your comrades are falling by your side
By chance if your column advances
And your mission has slipped your mind
That's by design
Without 9 number strings
Of base ten digits
Or n rolls of an icosahexahedron
They're addressed to you
But anyone's will do
They're all identical
Read in full:
"Dear accident or souvenir
You're here this is it
You'd better get used to it
We are counting on you: one, two...
You'll do you'll have to"
Braced for impact
When you meet your contact
In the prearranged spot
To pool dossiers
Wondering all the way
With no enemy
Must we conscript any more?
We'll soldier on
We'll soldier on
Marching along
Marching along
We'll soldier on
We'll soldier on
LANDLUBBER
If I went in half hearted
Well that's all I had to give
You were waiting on the shore
With your genes unzipped
Soaking and shivering
And barely living
When I carried you onboard
To dote upon
Well so long
Landlubber
I put my ear to your heart
All I could hear was the ocean
I put my ear to your head
And was nauseous from the motion
Tied to the rigging
You weren't forgiving
When you found yourself alive
Was I wrong?
Well so long
Landlubber
You pointed to the port
And who was I to argue?
You cried while getting off:
'Oh well we'll both forget tomorrow'
I guess you were half right
But didn't stay to prove your theorem
That we'll never lie together
Outside of a mausoleum
I'd pulled too closely
And tore my hull free
Now my burial at sea
Is forgone
Well so long
Landlubber
GIVE IT UP! LET IT GO!
What began with an
Earnest yearning
For pure utility
Quickly became
A hemispheric purging performed
With Stalinesque finesse
All the papers burned
And the tapes erased
With their arms cut off
All hands were lost
And Left helpless for anonymity
To snuff their infamy
Not revenge for an
Opaque offense
Merely irrelevance
Lesson to be learned:
Muses, use your aesthetes with care
For they're your archivists
SECRETS IN PAIRS
It seems as though
My whispers have echoes
Since everyone knows
Everything I ever said to anyone in confidence
Admittedly this is of little consequence
What does he know?
Your outrage rings hollow
In retrospect or did you mean
I'll never do the awful things they did to me
Yes unless I get the opportunity
This was before I was aware
You keep your secrets in pairs
This was before I cared
You keep your secrets in pairs
It's how you buy intimacy
You barter with your hidden horde
Of others' fragile admissions as currency
You're rolling in transmuted former loyalties
This was before I learned
You keep your secrets in pairs
This was before I'd heard
You keep my secrets in pairs
It comes and goes
The methods are borrowed
You can dispense with pleasantries
Don't worry all your confessions are safe with me
Clearly I am inured to asymmetry
Somewhere in there I learned
You keep my secrets in pairs
Somewhere in there you'd dared
To keep my secrets in pairs
STILLBORNAGAIN
I fell from the sky Mummified Calcified
Predeceased Three weeks at least
And raised as living anyway
Mirroring the imperial designs
Of that heroic age
They shook off the dust Assumed control Bit their lips
And took me home Called me their ownThey held me close
Offered their name And let me wait around
To hold their handsAnd watch them pass away
And every day I wake up dead Stillbornagain
Grave to cradle And here I am Stillbornagain
I looked through my schools For replacements
Made a pitch For applicantsMet with silence
I held them close Offered my name
And made them wait around
I held their hands And watched them pass away
I checked all the texts For instructions
Plundered the tomes Of resurrection
It's tempting fiction Found guilty at birth
And sentenced to lifeWhile serving time
They chortle We're immortal 'Til the day they die
And every day I wake up dead Stillbornagain
Grave to cradle and here I am Stillbornagain
Every day I wake up dead Stillbornagain
St. Cuthbert Just wants To be friends
I'm stillbornagain
A FINISHING PICTURE (1998)
And Other Colloquial Euphemisms- Things to Come- A Sychophantasy-
The Blame Game- A True Story-
(c)1998 storm tower records published by the humans suspect nothing
music(ASCAP) all rights reserved
UNIVERSAL REVERSAL
I've wasted every moment before now
Searching for patterns where none can be found
For either always never this
Or never always that
The things I've linked, it's embarrassing
What I thought this world allowed
High school English classes ruined me
They teach everything is foreshadowing or irony
Having weighed the prose and cons
I think that I'd be better off
Illiterate but with some semblance of sanity
As if every joy and every sorrow
Depends upon one variable
A simple rule that I could use
And even base my life upon
A universal reversal
I could universally depend on
High school English classes ruined me
They promise every single thing has some hidden meaning
And in all the time that's passed
I've been consistently aghast
Fulfilling expectations, overreading everything
As if every joy and every sorrow
Depends upon one variable
One simple rule that I could use
And even base my life upon
A universal reversal
I could universally depend on
HELLO KITTY (Genovese)
Did I, did I do something wrong?
Did I, did I say something wrong?
Did I, did I do something wrong?
Did I, did I anything at all?
Should I be ashamed of all the awful things I've seen?
Should I be ashamed of all the people I have been?
Should I be ashamed because I didn't disagree?
I should be ashamed.
And where were you all along?
(You just sat there thinking)
And where were you all along?
(You just sat there thinking:
SOMEONE SHOULD DO SOMETHING
BUT I'M NOT THE RIGHT ONE!
GONE
The older you grow, the fewer people you know
The older you grow, the fewer people you really know
And names, faces are not here
in conversations disappear
No, youre gone No youre gone Gone No youre gone
The older you grow, the fewer people you know
The longer you go, the fewer people you need know
And "Everything is fine around here"
"Give us a call if youre ever near"
Now it's gone Now it's gone Gone Now it's gone
But do you still remember why
You don't ever even try to remember?
Or do you remember? Or is it gone? Or do you remember at all?
You don't think you ruined me? It shouldn't mean that much to me?
It only really bothers me to see you resting comfortably
Insulated by invented sugar coated memories
You don't think you ruined me? It shouldn't mean that much ?
Or do you remember? Or is it gone? Or do you remember at all?
You don't think you ruined me? It shouldn't mean that much to me
But when a starving man accosted me Begging me for anything I said
"I've got everything you want and I'm not happy"
And you don't think you ruined me? It shouldn't mean that much to
me?
Us freaks deny and wont survive us freaks deny and wont survive
us freaks
deny and wont survive us freaks deny and wont survive us freaks
denyand
wont survive us freaks deny and won't survive us freaks deny and
won't
survive us freaks deny and won't survive us
THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
Oh, the beautiful people
Have such a flair for despair
But it's so very unfair
That they ever should care
About the mundane things
Of everyday living
Or misplace a single perfect hair
On their single perfect head
Oh, the beautiful people
Have such original minds
So don't you just find
It so very unkind
For their obsessively devoted lovers
To waste even a moment of their time
Or try to bash in their heads
And we should pity all the beautiful people
Because nobody will listen to a word they say
And we should comfort all the beautiful people
And with a single glance
they're assured to get their way
Anything that they say We say "Okay!"
Anything that they say We say "Okay!"
So when the beautiful people
Use the cruelest of words
excuse what you've heard
Cause it's so awfully absurd
That they should quietly endure our Envy
As the rest of us surely prefer
We want to bash in their heads
And we should pity all the beautiful people
Although we'll never understand
how much our envy stings
And we should comfort all the beautiful people
Cause when there's nothing left to want
You don't have anything
And anything that they say We say "Okay!"
And so the beautiful people
live the briefest of lives
They bring about their demise
(Though we can only surmise)
Before the dreadful ravages of aging
Reduce them to ordinary lives
So should we pity all the beautiful people
Or should we murder all the beautiful people?
We have to murder all the beautiful people
We have to murder all the beautiful people
(And though we'll never
Murder all the beautiful people
We probably should!)
AUTOMATING
Boys
Don't you find
That it isn't even
An option to decline?
Boys
Don't you find
That it isn't even
An option to decline?
So she asks
What are you going to say?
And still she asks you anyway
And every day's the worst day
And every day's the last day
Boys
Don't you find
That it isn't even
An option to decline?
Boys
Long denied
A lifetime of training
Paid off tonight
So she asks
What are you going to say?
And still she ask you anyway
And every day's the worst day
And every day's the last day
Boys
Don't you find
That it seemed like a good
Idea at the time
And afterward
Realized
There isn't the luxury
Of being traumatized?
So she asks
What are you going to say?
And still she asks you anyway
And every day's the worst day
And every day's the last day
Boys
Don't you find
That it isn't even
An option to decline?
Boys
Don't you find
That it seemed like
A good idea at the time?
Boys
Don't you mind
That there's only one reason
that you're alive?
SUPERNOVOCAINE
It makes sense to me-Define responsibility
It makes sense to me You make sense to me
Research It's only research
Skin on skin is a sin So just call this research
Research It's just research
I'm not allowed to enjoy anything
So just call this research
He's so smooth on the outside! This could be the one!
Her loyalty lies with whomever looks into her eye
AND THERE YOU GO!
She said Research It's only research
No one has to know Just call this research
Why has this party got you down?
It's just people fucking around
There's someone over there I know
Got to go and say hello
Doctor I don't feel so well Where do I belong?
The only way to play this game
Don't mention what is wrong
AND HERE YOU GO!
Take two of these and call me when you're boring
Tablet capsule caplet mortar up your mouth
Life will be simple from this moment on out
Tablet capsule caplet mortar up your mind
Erase social awkwardness one emotion at a time
Tablet capsule caplet numb the inner mouth
The one that wants to tell people
You're having any doubt
He's funny!
He's funny!
He thinks funny
He talks funny
He looks funny
Says funny words
Does funny things
(Who let him in?)
(Who let him in?)
He's imperfect to a fault
Entertaining and that is all
Tonight there're parties all over town
So now we're moving on
Now I understand
These are the days, this is the age
Your friends keep you from falling in the street,
Hitting your head, dying in your sleep
In these years, they're training wheels
This is your last chance
To act without consequence
My greatest days are beside me.
You make sense to me
You make sense to me
You make sense to me
You make sense to me
AND THERE YOU GO!
MY KAREN CARPENTER STORY
Anemic canvas
Stretched on a bony frame
When you were done
Forgot to sign your name
You did this to me
And you'll do it again
But I had control
And I'll have control again
I can hurt me and hurt me
More than you ever can
Hollow and clean
Sleepy and weak
I'll never eat again
Emaciated martyr on your wall
Well, I'll be thinner than him by this fall
(Maybe He was a Carpenter after all)
NUMBER EIGHT (Shameless)
Funny what a desperate boy
Can convince himself is true
Funny what a desperate boy
Can convince himself is true
Even funnier when it's not you
Even funnier when it's not you
Silly boy silly boy silly
HA HA HA HA
With you not at you
With you not at you
And you're desperate
Enough to believe us
ALL MY IDOLS
All my idols let me down
I put them up and they all fall down
Hung by their links on their own Great Chain of Being
All my idols let me down
I ask too much and they just fall down
A mighty fortress is our stubborn ignorance!
I put them up and they all fall down, they all fall down!
They all fall down, they all fall down!
All my idols let me down
Same transparent sleight-of-hand-me-downs
It's not who's the least flawed, it's who has the best defense
The only thing that we can do
Is kill our gods while they're still new
So you can't blame them for being human
Oh, but I can! And I will! And they all fall down, they all fall
down.
They all fall down, they all fall down!
So: Update your myths!
They're insane!
Ridiculous!
Far from harmless!
THE BIG SAD
I am in
One big soft blue floor
And a big black sky
A few lights pass you by
And you're in the big sad
I am in
One big soft blue floor
And a big black sky
A few lights pass you by
And you're in the big sad
I am in
Held out, like a temptress' face
It smiles in his hand
For you to take that hand
And you're in the big sad
I didn't even know what hit
But now the things I say
And things I think
Are not in sync
And it takes me back
One big soft blue floor
And a big black sky
A few lights pass you by
And you're in the big sad
I am in
I'm in the big sad
I am in
I'm in the big sad
I am in
|
songs from the ep
THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF CHEMISTRY (2001)
100% effective aural contraception
(c)2001 storm tower records
published by the humans suspect nothing music (ASCAP)
some rights reserved
ATONAL
it should've been mine
it should've been
something other than
what it was
POPULIST ANTHEM
So is everybody different
Or is everyone the same?
Well I guess it just depends
On the point they're trying to make
And soon
Every girl in the world's learned the words
To the latest hit horoscope set to a bubblegum beat
With its solo that every boy gleefully gleans
From the putrid pages of Guitar Magazine
Sing it with me:
And take your place in line
Behind a bland populist anthem
Maybe you can find a song to hide
Inside and tell you how you're feeling
So is anybody listening
Or at least somewhat ashamed?
Well i guess it can be said
you're revolting in your own way
It's a convenient vent
And revolutions are kept
On the record players
And out of the streets
They always repeat
So save yourself some time and mine
A vague populist anthem maybe
You can find a rhyme to ride astride
Or drag you to its thinking
If the crowd provides a spine then keep
A bland populist anthem handy
Diffusing the blame and nothing will change
But the quislings queueing through the top forty
MEET THE SITUATION ARTIST
'Get to know me'
Is the obvious refrain
But never quite so plain
In the hands of a skilled artisan
'Get to know me'
Is the novice's refrain
In a traveling puppet show
Tying strings everywhere you go
A pause means
He's said something profound
Give it a minute
To let it sink down
Meet the Situation Artist
Shake hands with yourself
(It's you and nobody else)
Meet the Situation Artist
Shake hands with yourself
good to meet you
want to see you
want to be you
want to take things that you have
want to show you
that i know what you'll think before you do
'Get to know me'
The monster in the mirror begs
If you can't convince yourself
How can you convince anybody else?
'Get to know me'
Sold in every handshake
It's a six billion sided war
With a front at everyone's front door
Leaflet dropped behind enemy lines:
'You'll be better off on my side'
Meet the Situation Artist
Shake hands with yourself
(It's you and nobody else)
Meet the Situation Artist
And shake hands with yourself
I've heard every word that you said
GIRLS WATCHING BOYS WATCHING GIRLS
the saddest sight to see is the flagging plausibility of those tacitlyguaranteed
madison avenue dreams designed with him in mind it would havefind her
perfectly desperate for meaning how unhappy we can afford to bethe battle
epics we learned & frontline rumors we hear from our weeping lunchroom
peers don't square and then it's clear
fooled for so long and when you've bought into it so utterly how
canyou sell out now and what awaits afterward? it was in his eyes all
alongi didn't know what it was or why it seemed to be waiting for me defeated
not beaten try not to look humiliated breathe in breathe out head downhands
at your sides
reasons for breathing keep disappearing
and evidence against sails effortlessly through my defenses and
themore I think the more I see finiteness as a blessing and living as
waiting
telepathically overheard from girls watching boys watching girls
THE GERM THEORY OF THOUGHT
The first case was traced
To a patient in the latter half
Of the last century
Through a trail of bodies
It's a new strain of an old plague
The vector in question in quarantine
Gave us its name and pathologies
Quoting:
I breathe disease
And people start dropping off
All around me
Don't come near me
The host's diagnosis
Uncovered encoded instructions
For self-destructing
In his diary
The surgeons resected it
Sentence by sentence
Each isolated regenerated
The full text in seconds
The last entries all reading:
I talk and
The germ theory of thought
Grows ever more convincing to me
And the cure-
If it's my bad ideas
They're catching-
Kill me
Mercy
CLASS OF 1993 REUNION THEME (The 70th Love Song)
some boys' necks are made for ties
some boys' necks are made for nooses
who knows why this happens
some boys' lips are made for smiles
some boys' lips are made for sutures
who cares why what's the difference
when everyone is ugly
if you look long enough
and everyone is hideous
if you stare at them hard enough
some boys' fingers are for rings
some boys' fingers are for triggers
chemistry's insistent!
some boys say their hearts
are filled with love
i proclaim mine
only contains blood
well for now it does
but either way it's useless
cause everyone is ugly
if you look long enough
and everyone is hideous
if you stare at them hard enough
and everyone is ugly
if you look long enough
and everyone is grotesque
if you stare at them hard enough
songs from the single
TRANSPARENT TUNES (2000)
"eschews subtley"
(c)2000 storm tower records published by the humans suspect nothing music
(ASCAP) most rights reserved
LONGSLEEVES ALL SUMMER LONG
well it's a funny world we live in
and by funny i mean not funny at all
for me to know and no one else to find out about
one tale not waiting to be told:
every spring is a cut above the rest
and i guess that no one else noticed the difference
so can't we just pretend
i was seeking to extend my lifeline
but missed and did nearly the opposite?
the first time extorts their sympathy
subsequent tries question competency
by the time your shirt conceals
a braille that anyone could read
what can be said
but 'can't you do anything right?'
well it's a funny world we live in
and by funny i mean not funny at all
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
my skin's crawling from the things i'm thinking
i have to let the bad thoughts out
and they just won't leave through my mouth
every spring there's a map upon my wrist
a list of routes taken in search of the exit
until i get it right, i'm only marking time
for the curious it's along these lines
parted arteries feign unanimity
oblivious platelets illustrate uncertainties
the slightest taste of pain sinks in and suddenly
what on earth was i thinking?
safe in longsleeves all summer long
safe in longsleeves all summer long
safe in longsleeves all summer long
safe in longsleeves all summer long
dreading stares and wasn't i just a little disappointed?
soon the scars are muted mouths
suggestive mona lisa smiles
that never fail to beg
give it a year just one more year
and things will change
well, okay
i fall for it again and again
the sun beats down mercilessly
like a gluttonous seventh grade bully
on a button-up on the mojave
or a bedouin on bikini beach
but i'm
safe in longsleeves all summer long
safe in longsleeves all summer long
safe in longsleeves all summer long
safe in longsleeves all summer long
SOLACE (IS THAT HER NAME?)
Solace oh Solace what was her name?
A drug or a girl, it's exactly the same
I won't expect to be hearing your name for a while
Solace oh Solace what was his name?
A boy or a crutch, they're exactly the same
The rest of the world will just have to wait for a while.
And I'm sure you'll be calling
When you are falling back down again
And I'll know when you're calling
That you have fallen back down again
Solace oh Solace what was her name?
Sucked the life out of you the old fashioned way
She kisses you like you're an oxygen tank and she's drowning
Solace oh Solace with all of your dreams
How can all your old friends possibly believe
That one simple thing was all that you'd need to give up on them?
But we know you'll be calling
When you are falling back down again
And we know you'll be calling
When your feet are touching the ground again
And we know you'll be calling
When your knees are touching the ground again
And we know you'll be calling
When your hands are touching the ground again
Solace oh solace goodbye from me
Walls closing in and there's not room for three
And one single atom would be in the way in between you
But we know you'll be calling
When you are falling back down again
And we know you'll be calling
When your knees are touching the ground again
And we know you'll be calling
When your hands are touching the ground again
And we know you'll be calling
When your head is touching the ground again
What was his name? What was her name?
But we know you'll be calling when you are falling back down again
And we know you'll be calling when your knees are touching the ground
again
And we know you'll be calling when your hands are touching the ground
again
And we know you'll be calling when your head is touching the ground
again
songs from the album
FILLER (1997)
A True Story
Dedicated to Ota Benga, a man among savages.
(c)1997 storm tower records published by the humans suspect nothing
music (ASCAP) no rights reserved
AM I WRONG?
Magical & Heaven-sent
He turned night into day
With a tungsten filament
Oh, but we see through his tricks
The whole world's mystified
Unaware of electrics
Oh, but I don't know...
Magical & heaven-sent
He turned water to wine
With a wave of his fingertips
Oh, but we see through his tricks
His fans put truth aside
To call us heretics
Oh but I don't care...
Am I Wrong
Or have we gone
From where we're supposed to be?
Should we stay
Or have we strayed
past the realm of safety?
Magical & heaven-sent
I turned nothing to this
For your entertainment
Oh but I see through my tricks
The globe gave it "Four Stars!"
The Inquirer "Fantastic!"
Oh but I can't think...
"Oh, I'm alone
Will you stay with me?
Oh but I cannot tell
Have you been with me?"
Yes, cause I can't feel...
Am I Wrong
Or have we gone
From where we're supposed to be?
Should we stay
Or have we strayed
past the realm of safety?
Should we go
Well I don't know
I just need an enemy (any enemy)
Should we go (any enemy)
Well I don't know (any enemy)
I just need an enemy.
ESSPY
Feeling Nothing
Feeling Nothing
Feeling Nothing
Feeling Nothing
Burning down
I am learning how
Burning down
I am learning how
Feeling nothing
Feeling nothing
Burning down
I am learning how
Burning Down
I am learning how
This is what it means to be
Hitting bottom silently
This is what it means to be
Hitting bottom violently
This is what it means
COLLIDING CIRCLES
All my lives
Are colliding circles
All my lies are
Becoming known
Ever expanding
Colliding circles
Each demanding
Me alone
But it shouldn't matter anyway
No it shouldn't matter
All my lives
Are colliding circles
All my lies are
Becoming known
Ever expanding
Colliding circles
Each demanding
Me alone
Bursting bubbles
Release the troubles
I had meant for them to hide.
Why can't they just except the lie?
But it shouldn't matter anyway
No it shouldn't matter
All my lies
Are colliding circles
All my lies are
Becoming known
Ever expanding
Colliding circles
Each demanding
Me alone
Bursting bubbles
Release the troubles
I had meant for them to hide.
Why can't they just except the lie?
Can't they see how hard I try?
FILLER
Play to the ugly one
Play to the ugly one
Just smile
Just smile and you can get what you want
Play to the lonely one
Play to the lonely one
Just smile
Just smile and thy will be done
Play to the lonely one
Like he's the only one
Just smile
Just smile and you can get what you want
Didn't think that I'd fall through?
Didn't think that I'd want to?
Just smile
Just smile and I can see through you
All of these changes
And all of these strangers
And all of the world's now free
To be altered to what she needs
Didn't think that I'd fall through?
Didn't think I wanted to?
Just smile
Just smile and I can see through you
Didn't think that I'd fall through?
Didn't think I wanted to?
I'm ugly
I'm ugly on the inside, too
DELAYED PAST THINKING
I found his letter
And I'm saving it forever
It's all I have to raise the dead
Of times in which I should have said
"Put out the light
And will this night even matter
When I am gone from here
Will you begin to shatter
All of the things that
Once used to matter?"
And you'd say
"Put out the light
No this night doesn't matter"
He had a reason
To abhor this season
Crimson leaves and midriff hollow
Darkest thieves and the fools they follow
"Put out the light
And will this night even matter
When I am gone from here
Will you begin to shatter
All of the things that
Once used to matter?"
And you'd say
"Put out the light
No this night doesn't matter"
So I burned his letter
It cannot be treasured
By one who paid him no mind
By the one he left behind
"Put out the light
And will this night even matter
When I am gone from here
Will you begin to shatter
All of the things that
Once used to matter?"
And you'd say
"Put out the light
Remember me and it matters"
THE DREAM SONG
Last week I was laughing at the place where I now stand
Explanations fail here. No one tries to understand
The details of my hazy voyages through slumberland
The conversation shifts to something tangible instead
But I would rather Cotton Mather...
Last week I was laughing at the place where I now stand
Explanations fail here. No one tries to understand
The details of my hazy voyages through slumberland
The conversation shifts to something tangible instead
But I would rather Cotton Mather never be
Was it just a dream or was it something left behind
Neglected and forgotten in a corner of my mind
Delineated violently for inner eyes deceived?
Tell me it's not memory...
Two apiece were murder by two whom it could be said
Are cracking under pressures I do nothing to prevent
My neighbor and my former bassist only bring me dread
And corpses in the basement, in the backyard and my head
But I would rather Cotton Mather never be
Was it just a dream or was it something left behind
Neglected and forgotten in a corner of my mind
Delineated violently for inner eyes deceived?
Tell me it's not memory...
BRING US ANOTHER
In the prisons of our minds
A middle ground's not hard to find
For those of us who live to grieve
In different times I might believe
If we sing they will bring us another
In a time when you can't trust your brother
Hide your head in the arms of your mother
If we sing they will bring us another
Reminisce on lost control
Of when I clutched upon her soul
Bound to her I felt so free
I let her swallow all of me
If we sing they will bring us another
To deny or resist means to smother
All the things we entrust to one another
If we sing they will bring us another
The ghosts of then still bring me rage
Even here within this cage
Ties I cannot hope to sever
Strangle all of us forever
If she cries we will know she won't follow
If she lies we will see that she is hollow
Lose yourself in the arms of a lover (If I only could)
If we sing they will bring us another (If I understood)
If we sing they will bring us another (If I only could)
To deny or resist means to smother (If I understood)
All the things we entrust to one another (Like a good boy should)
If we sing they will bring us another
WHY CAN'T I?
She just sits there like a fable
In the window at the table
It's a window to his sorrow
When the old man plays guitar
Oh, and the young man cries
And the old man sighs
And the young man cries
And the old man sighs
When the ships come bring a flower
For the bell tolls every hour
Watch the people from the tower
Cause they're burning and it showers
And the young man drowns
And the old man frowns
And the young man drowns
And the old man frowns
Break the window it's a bad show
Here's your hammer and I can't go
It's a window to my sorrow
When I'm here with my guitar
Oh, and the nights grow long
Till the day is gone
And the days roll on
Till our summer's gone
And the years roll on
Till our lives are done
And the years roll on
Till all trace is gone
Unreleased
THE VERY NEXT PERSON TO HOLD MY HAND CAN HAVE ME
The very next person
To hold my hand can have me
The very next person
To say my name, I'm theirs
Romance is a nice wet dream
But I haven't slept a night since '93
The very next person
To look my way, get ready
The very next person
Anyone, anywhere, anything at all
Past demands for forms or plans...
Well, it's all hardly even worth mentioning
When everyone I've ever loved is somewhere
Loving somebody who isn't me
And though estranged, I use their names
As if they were my own
Memory will be the death of me!
So the very next person
To hold my hand can have me
The very next person
To hold my hand can have me - Yeah!
The very next person
To hold my hand can have me - Yeah!
The very next person
To hold my hand can have me - Yeah!
HOW VERY AMERICAN
You beat up my bad boyfriend
And became my worse boyfriend
How very American
You took everything I had
Left me in your cronies' hands
How very American
Still I fell for your tales of home
Where the streets are paved in gold
To cover up the blood
Now you're taking your show on the road
And we're all going to pay for it
How very American
You've got a secret
That you can't admit
How very American
And the lessons of the pioneers
Weren't lost on my schoolyard peers
Arena or battlefield
Since they first traversed these shores
"Everything you can take is yours!"
How very American
WHEN YOU WERE CRAZY
A:
When you were crazy
Life was amazing
Everywhere you went
Everyone knew that
I was your savior
Without the defense
Of modern medicine
You jettisoned pretense
When you were crazy
And even though I was of two minds
I saw it with my own four eyes
And baby you loved me
When you were crazy
Well maybe
You'd have to be
Crazy to love me
B:
When I was crazy
Completely defeated
You had me believe that
Your sympathy was
All that I needed
Though your tight leash
Was a comfortable tether
You knew I'd get loose
If I ever got better
And for anything you had in mind
Well, you needed me out of mine
And baby I loved you
When I was crazy
And baby
I'd have to be
Crazy to love you
SHOULD'VE DONE DRUGS
On the road to Mexico
I jumped from behind the wheel
To the interstate below
On a plane to Tokyo
The conscience I left ticking
In the cargo hold exploded
I should've done drugs
Back in my prime
How sobering to find
That one mistake
Keeps all the rest alive
On the phone through a window
My public defender quit and
Moved to San Francisco
On my tiptoes at the gallows
Nobody had hung around
To pull that blessed rope
I should've done drugs
At the right time
It's weighing on my mind
That one mistake
Keeps all the rest alive
I finish each sentence with a new confession
The jurors look on with no hint of retention
My rights, as read on the day i surrendered,
"You're only culpable for what you remember"
And I should've done drugs
At the prescribed time
It's weighing on my mind
That one mistake
Keeps all the rest alive
I should've done drugs
At the proscribed time
It's floating in my spine
That one mistake
Keeps all the rest alive
EVERGREEN/MAKE THEM LIVE SLOWLY
I want the sun
To shine the same way everyday
Hung in the sky in the same place
Without changing
An august breeze stuck in the trees
With limbs like the neighbors' arms
All fixed midwave
Their hands like broken timepieces
Not reaching out to me menacingly
While one lone dot waits on all of our screens
I want the world to be Evergreen
I want my heart
To have the same weight everyday
Thoth and I will know what
To be expecting
I'm motioned past
My die was cast and traits assigned
Scaled from 3 to 18
This list resists all outside force
And moral torques are in static equilibrium
I want my world to be Evergreen
Living:
The salient deceleration
Would be enough of an affront
Were it not also inflicted on
Everyone you love
Living:
The transient humiliation
Would be obtrusive enough
Were it not rendered in the faces of
Everyone you love
So if there's somebody to blame
Then won't you show me?
Won't you scream into the sky
Make them live slowly
You make them live slowly
Living:
The cognizant disintegration
Would be repugnant enough
Were its accrued losses
Not crudely scrawled across
The ones you love
So if a consciousness does this
Then won't you show me
Won't you scream into the sky
Make them live slowly
And my phantom limbs wave goodbye
Like they'd owned me
Can't they sign into the sky
Make them live slowly
You make them live slowly
IS THIS THING ON?
Oh, the beguiling monotone
The wan, noncommital smile
Wouldn't you like to take him home?
Oh, the byzantine ribaldry
The deadpan delivery
Don't let him let you go
And why decry devices
I myself employ, if less ably
Tearing out my heart
Holding it to the crowd
Wondering aloud:
"Is this thing on?"
Oh, The limits fixed by design
The practiced awkward goodbye
I've heard this one before
THE SONG THAT SAVED THE WORLD
Diplomats, go back!
Return to your native lands
Know that we have
Everything well in hand
Heads of state, you're too late!
And now a redundancy
Now that there is
Government by melody
Hey, who's the lucky guy
Hey, who's the lucky guy
Who wrote the song that saved the world?
'Cause he's not wasting his time...
Perused no foreign lands
Pursued no advanced degrees
Named no social ill
Nor addressed some mere disease
For only one so broad in thought
Yet ascetic in all sensory
Can forge a cure so pure
And distill it in 2'30"
And
He's not wasting his time
He's not wasting his time
He wrote the song that saved the world
It was the song that saved the world
Hey who's the lucky guy?
He's not wasting his time
It was the song that saved the world
WE'LL NEVER GET AWAY
You look and feel
Like the dull ideal
of the standard human being:
A list of needs
Shrilly decreed
At every chance you're given
And I'll never get away
I think and feel
Like a butchered reel
From a censored blue movie
Awkwardly paced
Forcibly chaste
The interesting bits missing
And you'll never get away
And we'll never get away
No- we'll never get our way
And we live for things
That'll never happen
We'll never get away
And we'll never get our way
And we'd never try anyway
We groan and squeal
Like rusted mobiles
Of our forbears' neuroses
Mingling strings
In a flooded wing
Of an abandoned museum
Baby, we were born to run
And bred to crawl
In circles at their feet
And when we let nurture
Take its course
Their work will be complete
We'll never get away
We'll never get our way
And we live for things
That'll never happen
We'll never get away
We'll never get our way
And we'll never try anyway
PURE O
Half-adrift
In these vessels
We dived
For a diamond
In an ocean
Of broken glass
And
We found it!
We found it!
We found it!
Sure
I stuck it out
Amid the ruins
But
Why am i wearing
Both of our wounds?
Yeah
We were wrong
At least
We were wrong
Together
THE WALKING MICROPHONE
You weren't the sole destroyer
Rather the last in a long line
Of well-meaning buffoons
Each all-too-briefly taken with
This reason-forsaken
Wounded walking microphone
Headless boys in overalls
Carried all your messages
Across the world
Can they not find you now?
mmy palimpsest though filthy
Was so obsessed it lets
The minutes of our meetings show
But don't so smugly take all
Of the blame for my downfall
There wasn't much farther to go
And headless boys in overalls
Empty-handed
Telling me you're lost
And not wanting to be found
Stranger to devastation
You could be the next fixation
I'm the echo that you need
You're the poster boy for me
THE FAMILY PLOT
If today's misfortune
Is tomorrow's excuse
Well there's something coming
That you can put to use
And it ends without end
And my heart takes
A beating again and again
Think it's not in the cards
With the charms on your arms?
You won't know until you know
Though it�s so predictable
The emptiness can't be erased
Everyone will be replaced
You'll make the call that I made,
Won't you?
The years lose numbers
And the days lose names
And the understudy
Is thrown up on the stage
And it ends and it ends
And our hearts take
A beating again and again
Do we forget our lines?
Plagiarize their lives?
The plot is known
But hard to follow
Their absence can't be erased
Everyone will be replaced
And you'll make the call that I made
Thinking : "�you... you won't go."
BOY SHIVA
Here is your Boy Shiva:
Loosening the lugnuts
On the wheels of fortune
Here is your Boy Shiva:
Writing his apologies
With bloody knuckles
And in all our lives
What's the most that
We can hope for?
So his motion implies
He just wants to hold you
In all of his arms
And rushes in, soot-caked,
In tears again:
"Mother, look at what I've done
To everyone I love!"
Here is your Boy Shiva:
Blowing up your mailbox
To express affection
Here is your Boy Shiva:
Spraying his regrets to all
On the bridge trestle
And in all our little lives
What's the most
That we can hope for?
Or so his motion implies
He just wants to hold you
In all of his arms
And rushes in, blue-faced,
In tears again:
"Mother, look at what I've done
To everyone I've ever loved"
A WORLD WITHOUT MIRRORS
oh, the things i could've been
in a world without mirrors!
but when you see yourself
through the eyes of everyone else
you learn they're not wrong
when you trade your eyes
for the eyes of everyone else
how can they be wrong?
they're not wrong
oh, the lives i could've lived
unfettered from this visage!
but when their travelogues
and your landmarks
all correspond
they cannot be wrong
when you can confirm
what they hang their jargon on
how can they be wrong?
i adopted
their standards
and raised them
as my own
all alone
when the eyes
of the world
are not on you
they're still in you
and yes
i can judge
for i have always
been judged
and i can't
accept pleas
that i've
got it all
backward
so yes
i see what you mean
but even you must concede
that for all my flaws
at least i never stop and wonder
oh, the things i could have been
oh, the things i could have been
oh, the things i could have been
oh, the things i could have been
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