The perverse sexual lives of British men and other issues for a Saturday morning
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: The flip, flip of Elisabeth filing things.
Topic: Stephen Says
Hmm, whats new? I got my 1st good haircut in the UK by Uncle Junior yesterday. Now that the weather's nice, Yobbo's out in full force screaming obscenities at minorities and acting like the scrawny bald psychopath that he is.

So onto this topic's subject: British men & their sexual fantasies. According to Elisabeth (via Red Magazine- she got a free bag with it), the 7th most important thing British women should know about their men is that "He shall have an unhealthy obsession with nurses. It is here that ye code of ye genders be truely cracked. For my husband hath told me that men think that all nurses have a secret method of making them ejaculate by sticking a finger up their bottoms. This, apparently, is the Holy Grail of our menfolk [...] the sex act at it's most sacred."

Ok, Elisabeth's said that I've opened (not for the first time at least) myself up to ridicule because I just don't get it. Is it because nurses are clean? Someone please explain. Or is it just than British men are filthy, weird and perverse?

And another thing, whenever I get my hair cut, at the end of the session, after they've used the floppy white bush on my face & back of my neck, they always give me a square of tissue paper. All of a sudden I feel like I'm in that scene in Scarface where he's given the orange water and, instead of cleaning his fingers in it, he eats the orange. What do I do with the tissue paper? Normally I make a polite wipe of my forehead, back of my neck, maybe wipe my nose and then pocket it. What am I supposed to do with it?? Help!

And another thing, why do so many grown men over here wear sweat pants? The only time you wear grey or navy blue sweat pants is when you're exercising or under the age of 13. Not when you're with your wife shopping at the Peacocks Center. Look, I don't mind that I come across as slightly yobby/chavvey or dodgy by the way I dress, but 40 year old men in sweat pants is alright? Are they intimidated by the fact that I've mastered the button fly? Beause men in sweats aren't intimidating because of the ease with which you can pull down their pants? To me, a man in sweats says 'not taking his medication.' Pointe finale.