insecurity 7/10/09
It’s about to be 7am. Somewhere else. Almost the other
side of the world. May as well be another world
for all the likelihood that I will get there
anytime soon. 7am on Tuesday. 3 days. 3 and a half
days. I’ve missed you. But I almost don’t want you
to come home. Hypothetical terror. Things are the
way they are right now and when you come home and
we see each other again, what if things have
changed. Ur postcard says can’t wait to see you on
the 10th. But you wrote that nearly two weeks ago
now. That’s 2 weeks without me, and getting some
pretty random texts from me, and a facebook
message that I need to read again to feel
comfortable about. The smallest things can change
everything. What seem like the simplest choices
can have the most devastating consequences. And I
haven’t seen you for so long. How much has
changed? Which txt was the one that changed ur
mind about me, from being a friend to a pain, a
needy leech that is more trouble than she’s worth.
And why am I feeling so incredibly insecure right now?
