Because it's You. 11/01/95
what to do, oh what to do
i feel as if i have hurt you
you won't look at me
when you do, i feel the pain
you talk to me
but not with interest
i should have let my feelings rest
instead i told them to you
My god what should i do?
I'm bleeding from the inside
the pain, i cannot bear
i can't stay in a room
if you, alone, are there
i sit at home and cry over you
but only inside, can't let it show through
because it's you
you're in my every heart beat
every turn you're there
if i could leave you
how could i bear
the constant thought that you're there
following behind with a burning stare
i don't know if you share what i feel
but for me it feels so real
i can't even look into your eyes
when you look at me i want to hide
what i got from you was a taste of honey
you were so sweet
you were so funny
i light all my candles and watch them burn
they know, for you, i only yearn
you always laugh at what i do
why do i not laugh too
you give me advice, say it's easy to follow
then why does it leave me feeling so hollow
you said if i did something wrong
i'd regret it my whole life long
then why do i still want to do
what i shouldn't, not with you
i feel sad, my life's gone sour
i think of you at every hour
you've changed my life
when you came here
you turned the knife
till there was you
i was just a girl
then with a twirl
i suddenly grew
what to do, oh what to do
you've broken the rules read over my shoulder
what would have happened if i were older
and you were someone i merely met on the street
you have a net that dras us, one and all
why, oh why, did i have to fall
i feel your strength
i'm drawn to you
you have this strength
oh what to do
you've hurt me, pulled some strings
i'm wrapped round your finger, like a ring
but i'm ugly, why is it true
that i should fall for someone like you
i'm under the influence of life
Life, the drug that's put me in strife
I've run out of words to express how i feel
why is it all my life i've felt so unreal
until now...
Why is it i feel this way, you ask?
look in the mirror, remove the mask
then rethink the question you ask
it's dumd, isn't it
be afraid of yourself, you should be scared
of the power you hold, for which you love and care
I hear your voice, my inside rejoice
my brain is smater than they
i don't know if i want to play
I've been in my room all night
if i came out, i can't bear to think what i'd do
you have a way with words you know
i'd love to stay, but i must go
you're on my bed - to you it brings no pain
you're on my bed - how will i ever sleep there again
if this is what happens when you're seperate all your life
don't do this to me, it'll get me in strife
looking back at this 12yrs later it's amazing how much insight i had, and how much i just had no idea what the future would hold... the person this was written about is now "persona non grata" in my life, and that's just fine... it took a lot of shit to get to where i am now, and i'm happy. this poem was just the beginning of all the shit.
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