My Favorite Uses for Peanut Butter

• One word: Gargle
• Two words: Eye shadow
• Three words:Slip and Slide
• Inhale deeply
• Feed globs to your dog for cheap entertainment
• Use it in recipes in place of butter
• Spread on face for acne treatment
• See how much will fit in your floppy disk drive
• Use as heavy ammo for your super soaker 1100
• Rub it on sore muscles
• Mix with Draino and feed to Barney
• Use as a deodorant
• Knock on it if theres no wood around
• Wrestle in it
• Expose it to radiation and feed it to hamsters
• Chew it for half-an-hour and try to talk
• Empty several jars into a public toilet
• Fill a water bed with it
• Give a lifetime supply to someone with dentures
• Polish floor with it
• Deep fry food in it
• Use it for velcro
• Fling fistfulls at a fan thats on high
• Use it as insect repellent
• Pump into your athletic shoes
• Use it for hairspray
• make a long list of things to do with it
• have a PB bubble blowing contest with straws
• Soak cucumbers in it for 3 weeks---- PB PICKLES!
• Use in a pinata at your cousins B-day party
• Fill a pillowcase with it
• New snapple iced tea flavor!
• Use it for mouthwash
• Windshield wiper fluid
• Spread on a bald head to see if hair grows
• Use it as chapstick
• Plug up someones tailpipe with it
• Use it for white-out when writing on brown paper bags
• Air Freshener
• Paint Ball? try peanut butter ball!
• Great for removing duct tape residue
• Inflate beach balls with it
• Fill Cavaties with it
• Add it to hot chocolate (its really good!)
• Shoe shine
• Let your local t-ball league swing at it
• Knee Pads!
• Quench your thirst on a hot summer day
• Dip notebook paper in it for a Puffs Plus toilet paper Equivalent
• Keep contact lenses from falling out
• Place a large glob on your tongue and see how long it takes to dissolve (with mouth open + tongue out)
• Use a glob for a ping-pong ball
• Tell spiderman to stop with web fluid and use PB
• "Momma always said life was like a jar of Peanut Butter...."
• Spread it on a wall. Attach M&Ms. You now have an edible mosaic on your wall. Congradulations.
• Spread it on bread. go figure.