| 2/25/03: Tuesday |
| The nerve some people have... just
blows me away. How can someone be so detached from reality that they
can't see the flaws in their own ways? I'm not perfect. I'm no where
near perfect. I know that. But at least I can see and fully know what is
wrong with me. At least I know how to get along with myself and keep my
moods at a minimum to keep a happy environment. I'm not saying I change
who I am to make everyone happy. I learned that lesson and I know how
that turns out. I am saying that I know when I should and should not act
out, and most importantly, I know how to keep myself in a good mood. I'm
sick of trying to hide names on my web-site... after all, it's mine and
I'll say what I like in reflection to my own opinions. My brother is so
self-centered. Not in a traditional sense... he doesn't surround himself
with materialistic crap and walk around telling how great he is. Not at
all. He is self-centered in a mental sense where he doesn't think about
how things will affect anyone but himself. He won't ever admit it, too
much pride, probably never realize it either. Until you can get in a
situation where you have to throw all your pride out the window for
someone else, I don't think you can realize the full extent of
selfishness. I'm not without blame... I can't cast the first stone, but
I do know this about myself. I've put some serious thought into what the
purpose for things really is. Why do people act the way they act? I
realized then who I am and truly who I want to be. I'm not saying
people, namably my brother, should be like me. I'm just saying that
everyone needs to have that moment of self-realization which is such a
humbling experience. He just barges home with an attitude and no matter
what I do it's always an annoyance to him. I'm to the point where I
don't care if I annoy him anymore because it's become inevitable to
happen. He needs to go through some kind of circumstance where he drops
all his pride and lays himself down for someone else. Having a
girlfriend is close, but it just doesn't cut it. I mean really lay
everything out for someone. I dunno. Maybe I'm dead wrong, but maybe I'm
also dead right. I just hope soon it happens because it's becoming more
and more unbearable and more and more of a burden on me and the rest of
my family to keep peace with someone who doesn't see the real problem.
Not saying (again) that he is the only problem, everyone contributes,
but I think he needs to really realize, not just say, that it doesn't
revolve around him and that it's going to take all of us to really make
this a happy environment. That's it for now... glad I got that off my
chest. We'll see what happens.
3:23:30 PM Oh ya, one more thing... after all that venting...
we have subscribed to Comcast's cable modem service. In the next few
days I will be moving my site to the comcast server and off of the RCN
servers because we will be cancelling RCN in a little while. I haven't
determined the new addy of my site yet, but I will let you know when I
do. Also, that means my e-mail has changed. It once was rockett.javanet@rcn.com
or even rockett@javanet.com that was a long time ago... the new e-mail
addy will be Fenix85182@comcast.net 3:27:00 PM |
