Happy Birthday Alana!

~Alana Ruth Sprott (nee Radcliffe)~

Born September 27th, 1976.

Completed the torture of compulsory education November 1993.

Escaped parental abode August 1994.

              Married the dashing Bruce Sprott March 6th 1997.

Sprott Jr. anticipated November 2003.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE!

(ARE YOU SCARED YET?)

By all accounts you were a beautiful baby and gorgeous toddler, but this is purely second-hand information - foetuses don't really remember that kind of thing! Mum says some of Nanna's Jewish friends asked for you to be promised to their sons. Dad tells a story of you breaking a good crystal dish the day he broke you of bottle feeding.

Do you remember your blue stuffed chipmunk toy? Yes? Do you remember the day I hid it somewhere and told you to find it? You went spare and Mum made me give it back (I'd hidden it in the dryer). The moral of the story: I've always been a bitch! (And yes, I used to pull the heads off your Barbie dolls - die Barbie die!!!)

You charmed the pants of everyone in primary school - Little Miss Ballerina! I was so jealous of you back then! Why else do you think I tagged along to ballet and ballroom dancing???

    But we all grow up eventually, even though you never got over the whole teddy-bear thing. And Big Sis went off to high school, hanging around with all those older boysies. Didn't Mum and Dad worry about what you were up to! All those nights out with David, Chris, Cameron and Jason. I think they forgot about Rebecca, Kylie and Lisa sometimes!

       But really, you were too much of a goody-goody to ever get up to anything back in school. The best story that ever went around school concerning you was when you altered Mum's dress for the Debutante Ball and your boobie popped out during an over-enthusiastic twirl! I hear it was captured on video and all! Talk about risqué.

Eventually you escaped the trauma of P.B.C., only to banish yourself to the living hell of Lismore. What were you thinking girl? But you figured it out eventually, I guess, and came home to have constant screaming matches with Dad. Good thing you moved into Renee's little granny-flat - I needed the peace and quiet! And there you were introduced to the Brucester, fixed up for a blind date by his Telstra buddies. And well, we know the rest (though I'm still traumatised by the PDAs).

You had the beautiful wedding (though I still haven't forgiven you for inflicting heeled shoe torture on me), honeymoon and all that jazz then got on with the business of being an old married lady really. The day to day of it all - work, dancing, movies - that makes up the bulk of human existence. Ah, the good life!

But then...  Shock! Surprise! Joy! Oh my, you're pregnant - goodbye life, hello parenthood! And it's not far off now at all. Pretty soon your life is going to go completely topsy-turvy and it will never be the same again. Untold joys, traumas, tantrums and dirty nappies await the happy couple.

Happy Birthday Sis!!!  I'm sure it'll be one to remember (the next few are going to pass you by in quite a blur).  Wishing all the best for you, Bruce and Bub now and always!

This website is now yours to play with: post up the pics of Sprott Jr. when he/she arrives! Whatever takes your fancy really (just remember, I know the URL, so don't do anything too disgusting) it's all Frontpage compatible, so it's easy as pie!