“I had a dream once, where I could build a castle that reached the sky, and the angels would dance around me. But this dream began to change as I got older.” pauses as is for thought, “ things changed but I still wanted to build a castle then things became different for me. I didn’t want to build a castle up to the sky where the angels would dance anymore. No.”
Shakes her head and smiles sadly then she glances out the window near by.
“You see that cloud way off in the distance, how it’s ever changing, never the same twice.” Holds up her pointer finger and her thumb like to pinch someone but holds her hand towards the window and looks threw her two finger, “Always changing until it disappears and loses sight of everything everyone enjoyed.”
Touches those two fingers together and then lets her hand drop. Tucks her hands neatly in her lap and she looks at you with that sad smile again.
“But my dreams never stopped. When I was about fifteen I lost sight of my castle and began dreaming of an army of Shinra Soldiers at my command and a base in replace of my castle. But somewhere in my dreams, starting to collect spider webs and dust was the castle now dull and useless with the loss of child hood dreams.”
She sighs and starts playing with a string sticking out of her kimono.
“As I grew that dream of being a commanding officer never changed, I wanted to become president of Shinra, but when I became a year older I realized that wasn’t going to happen no matter how much I wanted it too. When I turned eighteen, I wanted to go off and join Shinra to become a ranking officer.”
Bites her bottom lip and averts her eyes from your gaze. She reaches up to play with the small bun on the back of her head nervously.
“I packed up my things and went out the door never looking back. Not once.”
Places both of her hands in her lap palm side up.
“I didn’t care what they thought yet I looked forward to what lay ahead not knowing what was to happen. I traveled for miles on end, hitching rides wherever I could find one or get one for the matter. I began picking up the skills of a thief as I went along, learning that if I was going to survive you either acquaint yourself with street life or death.”
She looks into your eyes for a moment. Her green eyes shine in a darkening sadness that makes you avert your gaze and you look out the window.
“ ‘Your afraid to know the truth. Aren’t you?’ ” She says still looking at you.
You slowly turn your gaze back to her and look into her eyes again. You were afraid to know the truth that she knows perhaps, but not enough to run away.
“My father always used to ask me that.” She says softly lowering her eyes, “I always said in reply ‘No I’m not! I wanna see the truth!’ I didn’t know what my father meant then until I was on my way out the door. I was afraid of the truth that could shatter my dreams, but that never held me back.”
You look at her, wasn’t every one afraid of that same truth?
“I wandered around slow advancing towards Midgar, making it a bit day by day. I began to change, from the girl with dreams to be a ranking officer to a thief with the same dreams.”
She pauses again and holds out her hand with a small pouch resting in her palm and realize that’s yours. You reach out almost timidly and take it from her. She places her hand back in her lap palm side up and resumes her story.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” She says with a slightly amused smile, “I stole from whom ever I pleased in order to get what ever I needed. It kept me going, but things like that always got me in trouble but I didn’t care.”
She lowers her head and a shadow drifts it’s way across her as some clouds block out the sun.
“I had reached Midgar on my 19th birthday and was awe struck by all that was before me. I was at home in the slums, where any thief would be. I caught me first glance of Avalanche, and I wanted to join then and there. Rebellion was always in my blood, and the idea of tempting to save the planet was temping, but what did I have? When a deep regret and a slight guilt I turned away from them and walked towards Shinra head quarters. This was before the train to Shinra had stopped running and Avalanche was still young. I got in the train and stood there looking out the window. Everything was going in slow motion now, the waiting was biting at me.”
She slowly moves to raise her head again, the shadow still on her. She looks into your eyes again and you feel pinned by the intense stare.
“When I reached Shinra H.Q. I stood there looking at the building. My heart began to sink but I still walked forward and it felt like I left a part of me behind.”
You tear your eyes away from her stare. You know what she’s talking about. You too left a part of you behind when you joined soldier, a child frightened and crying.
“I began training for soldier shortly after that and I met a man by the name of Sephiroth. He was interested in my stories and we became quick friends. If you could call it a friendship at all. He came at the same time of every day when I was training for something that wasn’t going to happen and listen to me tell stories about myself. He would say something every once in a while like 'Go on.' or 'I wish I was there…' or 'Let me talk for a moment.’ I would listen to him in return also, but this was before he met you.”
You sallow, your throat gone dry. She knew Sephiroth, but not the one you were fighting today.
“One day I was waiting along with the others soon to join soldier, and Sephiroth brushed past me. There was something cold about him and I shrank away from him. I was afraid of him now, I didn’t want to stay but I did.”
She new the same Sephiroth you knew… And he frightened her all the same.
“Professor Gast had just died. None really knew, not even me then. I stood there looking at Sephiroth and came eye to eye with a man by the name of Hojo.”
You clench your fists together at the mention of that name.
“He stood next to Rufus’s father, who was the current president and I despised them both. For halting my dream and altering it. The few selected including myself stood at attention, and then all became black. I don’t really remember what happened after those three days but I woke up in a room, in a bunk.”
You return your eyes to her stare and notice the mako glow in them for the first time.
“I never made it soldier. Shinra attacked my home village and destroyed everything I had. My dreams shattered and faded replaced by a dull burning rage. I took the matters into my own hands and stood waiting for the army to return with a sword and materia in my hands. I fought a pointless battle but many fell at my hands, Until Sephiroth stepped forward and took me down in one swipe of his sword. I hated them all, and I still do. They tossed me down in the desert prison like I would never return. And threw out those years I kept a eye on Shinra. But when Sephiroth died, I felt a emptiness fill my soul and a bitter joy that he was dead. That joy didn’t last, I was alone. I put my thieving skills to good use down there and made a living and a home. I had a few friends too. The children who lived down there. Until I met you. Three years we lived together and I didn’t want to admit it but I would go with you anywhere if you would just ask. And one day you did… and I got my dreams back…”
She smiles a bit, but not a sad smile.
“I wanted to fight along side you and make Shinra pay. But revenge wasn’t so sweet any more. I began falling in love with you. And then things became as they are, as I lay there in the snow I knew I had to make it one way or another. I can’t afford to lose this dream, to start all over again… I couldn’t bear it.”
A single tear runs down her cheek and she wipes it away.
“I want you to wait for me…. Now that you know… who I am…”
