“I have seen the changes time presents, and I have watched humanity in its moments of glory and stupidity. It’s strange though, that even the so-called perfect immortals have their flaws, that even we have our moments of  ‘stupidity’.”

                                                                -Daniel Renaguard

 

The Ruler of the Dead

Book II

By Claire Hoover

 

                “Dominno?” Roger’s voice called to me.

I grumbled weakly and rolled over, clutching the blanket on me up and over my head.

                “Let her sleep mon cherie.” Pandora’s voice soothed softly.

I tried to make sense of what they were saying but my mind wasn’t willing to work right now. It liked this, not having to think for once and being able to rest. I sighed contently through the haze of thoughts caught between waking up and staying asleep. I sighed again and opened my eyes as I suddenly woke up. I lay still for a moment trying to figure out what had happened... I fell asleep, I guess. I sat up, pulling the blanket off my head and looked around. Roger sat next to me where my makeshift bed had been made on the floor, while the werewolves sat at the foot of my makeshift bed.

                “Good to see you’re awake mon cherie.” Pandora said smiling at me.

                “So I did fall asleep.” I yawned out as I stretched my fingers towards the ceiling.

                “Yeah.” Phair said as she stretched herself, but more of a dog style stretch.

                “How long until we land?” I asked looking over at Amon.

                “About an hour to an hour and a half.” Donnie said looking at the watch on his wrist.

Amon sat slumped in a corner far from the other werewolves. His legs were pulled close to his chest and his forehead was resting on his knees. His arms lay limply at his sides and he reminded me of a puppet or a mannequin waiting to be moved. I glanced back over at the werewolves and Nicholas caught my glance. I looked back over to Amon and then back at Nicholas. He shakes his head and turned his attention back to wolf conversation he was having with Jaimen. I watched Phair get up and move over towards a chair. She sat down gracefully and that made me blink once. I just couldn’t imagine Phair being lady like... yet here she was being rather lady like, now all she needed was a ball gown. I rolled my eyes and sighed again running a hand through my hair. I feel better now after napping physically, but mentally... oh don’t even go there. Frankly I think my mind is scary enough to give a person, at any age, gray hair for life so I don’t think I want to know what my mind looks like.

                “Dominno? Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” Roger asked as he looked at me.

I watched Roger out of the corner of my eye and took a deep breath.

                “Right now Roger. I don’t know what I’m going to do... I do know what must be done however.” I said softly looking down at the carpet beneath my feet.

                “And what must been done?” Roger asked turning towards me slightly.

                “Reeflan must be found.” I said sternly.

                “I feel a ‘and’ coming on, so what’s the and?” Roger sighed out but he was smiling.

                “And I hope to locate a book by the name of ‘Amerada Desu: Dark Death’ that might have been written by Daniel Renaguard.” I said, nodding to myself.

Roger and Pandora starred at me blankly and I raised an eyebrow.

                “What did I say this time?” I sighed out.

                “‘Amerada Desu: Dark Death’ was written by Daniel Renaguard.” Pandora said, titling her head to the side slightly.

                “I figured. So tell me who he is already, because I sure as hell don’t know who he is.” I grumbled out.

                “There isn’t much to tell because only two things are known about him. One, he was a vampire,” Roger said as he held up a finger, “And two, he published a book by the name of ‘Amerada Desu: Dark Death‘.”

                “Great, another mystery vampire.” I groaned out, balling my hands into fists in my hair.

                “Well maybe.” Roger sniffed, “He’s dead according to the books.”

                “And? What about Reeflan?” I asked looking over at Roger as I let go of my hair.

                “He’s still alive according to the books.” Roger said shrugging.

                “What books?” I grumbled.

                “The books under the control of the vampires. I have no idea what they’re called.” Roger said itching his head.

I turned my head towards Roger and looked at him in a bored manner. He blinked and opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

                “Don’t bother Roger. Just don’t bother.” I said shaking my head and sighing.

Roger closed his mouth and frowned as he slide down until he was slouching. He sulked and I just patted him on the shoulder and laughed softly. 

 

                I got up onto my knees and moved over to Amon in a rather ungraceful manner but ask me if I care. I stood in front of Amon on my knees and looked at him in a curious manner. I reached out and poked him in the knee and he didn’t even so much as twitch a finger. I frowned and smacked him on the head and yet again he didn’t even flinch a muscle. I raised an eyebrow and scowled at Amon though it did no good. I turned around and crawled on my knees over to the other werewolves. Donnie smiled at me and pulled down his shades so I could see him winking at me. I rolled my eyes, sighed loudly, and sat down next to Pandora. Phair moved over, away from Nicholas and Jaimen, and sat next to me.

                “What’s with Amon?” I asked.

                “I don’t know.” Phair said as she rested her head on my shoulder.

I reached up and scratched Phair behind her ear, if she had been a dog she might actually enjoy it... but hey, Phair was smiling happily and not complaining. Shows you what I know.

                “Neither do I Mon Cherie.” Pandora sighed out softly as she rested her head on my other shoulder.

                “Hey, when did I become a living pillow?” I asked, pouting a bit.

                “The day you were born.” Phair replied, grinning wide.

I stopped scratching behind Phair’s ear and looked at her funny. She just smiled and licked my cheek.

                “Ick, Phair.” I grumbled at her as I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand.

Phair smiled happily and woofed at me softly. I starred at her for a moment and then started scratching behind her ear again.

                “So what now?” I asked softly and mainly to myself.

                “We go to New York.” Phair answered.

                “And then what?” Pandora asked.

                “And then... I don’t know.” I sighed out.

                “And then, we find a place to stay.” Phair said nuzzling the side of my neck and then got up.

Phair walked over to Amon and appeared to be checking his pulse. She nodded in approval to herself and walked over to one of the windows and looked out the window while she leaned against the wall. Donnie moved over next to me and whimpered softly as if asking for permission for something. I thought for a few seconds before I figured out what he wanted.

                “Go ahead Donnie, I promise I won’t bite off your head this time.” I said smiling slightly.

Donnie rested his head on my shoulder and I suddenly found something interesting, the color of his skin compared to mine. I took his hand in mine and held both of our hands in front of me. I stretched out my fingers and found out Donnie’s hand was at least one or two times bigger then my own hand. Donnie watched me silently as I examined our hands, Pandora was watching also. I gripped his hand in mine and he gripped mine as I turned our hands over and looked at them. I let go of Donnie’s hand and held it in both of mine as I looked at the lighter color skin on the palm of his hand. I sighed inwardly and wondered what brought my suddenly curiosity on as I let go of Donnie’s hand and kept my own hands to myself.

                “If I said I want to do that again, would you smack me?” Donnie asked softly.

I smacked Donnie upside his head and looked at him.

                “Yes.” I answered and frowned slightly.

Donnie smiled at me and kissed my shoulder before he sat up. I tired to punch him but Pandora had a tight hold on my arms. I growled and tried to kick Donnie but only ended up sprawling myself across Pandora’s lap. Donnie snickered at me and moved to the make shift bed and sat on it. I glared at Donnie and grumbled as Pandora ran a hand through my hair.

                “You should let me braid you’re hair one of these days Cherie.” Pandora said smiling down at me warmly.

                “Yes mommy.” I growled out as menacingly as I could but Pandora only laughed at me.

 

                When Amon finally twitched he was in tears, and I didn’t understand why. The other werewolves moved over to Amon, and Pandora held him while the others tried to soothed him with words and touches that only held meaning among the pack. I sighed and looked away from them, feeling pity well deep inside myself. I moved over to Roger on my knees and smiling at him as he let out a sniffle.

                “Hey, what’s wrong muscle man?” I asked in a soft-teasing manner.

I actually got Roger to chuckle softly and smile at me.

                “Sally’s grave is in New York.” Roger said softly, absent-mindedly drawing circle patterns on the carpet with his finger.

                “So we’ll go visit her.” I said softly as I sat down Next to Roger and hugged him.

Roger wrapped his arms around me and held me close. I turned my head slightly so my ear was pressed to his chest and I listened to his heart beat. I don’t know why, but I understand the cause, but I could get addicted to this sound. I closed my eyes and felt comfort and I was sure I was giving Roger the same feeling.

 

                I hoped to continue the rest of the flight in solitude as I sat in a chair towards the back of the jet, with a laptop in my lap. Thankfully I had remember the email address if the lady who claimed to have a copy of the book the Daniel Renaguard wrote, so I busy writing her a letter telling her I was arriving in New York but I was careful not to tell her when, where, how, or who with. I hoped she would just give me her street address and I could go pick up the book if she actually had a copy... but there are two questions I have in mind now. How am I going to get the book from her and what am I going to do with it once I get it? I lifted the laptop from my lap and got up. I closed it and set it down on the chair I had been sitting on and started pacing the short width of the jet. I stopped in front of the wall and kicked it out of frustration though it did no good. I turned on my heel and paced the length of the jet; walking up to where the werewolves were, turning on my heel and walking back to the chair with the laptop and then repeating the whole process over and over. I glanced over to my side when I notice Amon pacing beside me but he was looking rather miserable.

                “Afraid of heights?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Amon looked over at me and frowned.

                “No.” Amon snapped at me.

I stopped pacing but Amon kept on pacing. I crossed my arms and frowned at his backside.

                “Fine, be an ass.” I muttered as I turned on my heel and moved towards Roger.

 

                The jet landed, we got off, and stood there like idiots. I mean it too, Amon still looked rather miserable and the werewolves were hovering around him. Roger stood there looking ruefully at the sky and I wanted to smack them all and remind them exactly what we are doing. But instead I nodded at Louis who smiled brightly back as he held a card out in my direction. Phone number I guess, but I way already heading towards the airport. I stopped for a moment and looked at all the people walking, talking, and waiting around. It’s kind of amazing how many people of so many races can be in one place at one time. I shrugged it off and headed over towards the information booth.

                “Hello?” I called out to the blond haired woman who smiled at me with a practiced professional smile.

                “Yes? How may I help you?” The blond woman said, still smiling.

I stifled a laugh at the thought of pinching her cheeks just to see how angry she would get.

                “I need to get to a phone.” I said gesturing to the air pointlessly.

The blond woman gave me directions to the phone booth and I made my way, moving between people and their bags.  When I reached the phone booths they were all full. I frowned and leaned against a wall near by and waited. I looked around, feeling bored, and found the metal detectors. I blinked at them a few times and laughed to myself. There was no way I was going to get through those with a morning star and a browning and not get arrested for it. I raised an eyebrow as I remembered I was not the only one carrying guns. I turned on my heel and walked back from the way I came and found them still standing around like idiots.

                “Hey, you look like a bunch of idiots just standing there waiting for the rain to fall or something like that.” I said loud and clear as I walked up to the werewolves and Roger.

Roger blinked at me, dumbfounded, and itched his head. I kicked him in the shin as I walked past him and up to the werewolves. Jaimen stood in front of me.

                “Move.” I said glaring at Jaimen.

Jaimen starred at me like I was undesirable but I only returned the glare in the same manner.

                “I won’t say it again Jaimen, move.” I said, my hand already resting on the handle of my morning star.

Jaimen stepped aside and now I had to get through Phair and Nicholas. I looked at them both, their backs turned on me,  and slugged Nicholas hard in the shoulder and got his and Phair’s attention.

                “Move it.” I muttered darkly.

Phair snorted at me but stepped aside. Nicholas stood there watching me and I pressed the morning star to his stomach.

                “Move.” I ordered, pushing him slightly with the gun.

Nicholas held up his hands and stepped aside. Donnie had his sunglasses in his hand and was watching me with his laser blue eyes. For some reason I didn’t want to point the gun at him... because if I did I knew I would shoot him and not think twice about it. Donnie growled at me and I stepped right up to him.

                “Move Donnie. I don’t want to point this gun at you. You know as well as I do that if I do, I’ll shoot you.” I whispered into his face.

Donnie stood there looking into my eyes, questioning me silently. He raised his hands the same time I raised my gun but he caught my gun in his hands. I wasn’t even thinking about it though; it always came naturally with me, to raise a gun, shoot and ask questions later.... which is why I don’t have a partner. He held the gun, watching me, waiting for me to make a move but I just stood there letting him restrain me, holding my hands and the gun in one of his hands. He sniffed at me and licked me across the lips, which startled me back into myself. I uttered words incoherent even to my ears and yanked my hands away from Donnie’s. Everything seemed to slow down as I swung all my body weight onto one foot for leverage and then standing firmly on both feet. My hair swung into my face but I caught the look in Donnie’s face, fear. I heard Phair screaming at me but I already had the gun level with Donnie’s chest. I pulled the trigger twice and He spun on his heel from the force of the impact, his face distorting with pain as he tumbled to the ground. Everything sped up to normal when I realized Phair and Jaimen were crouched in front of Donnie’s body growling up at me but I only regarded them with cold and empty eyes. I turned towards Amon and walked towards him, I vaguely recall seeing Nicholas in front of me but when I blinked he was lying on the ground hands clawing desperately at his throat as he tried to breath. The bullet hole in his neck pumped out blood as he made gurgling sounds as his leg and neck muscles reflexively convulsed. I walked past him, left him drowning in his own blood, and continued my path to Amon. Pandora stood there now, but not in my way she was just there watching me with dull eyes. I looked at her and raised my gun, but she backed down moving over to Nicholas. I moved up to Amon, whose head was bowed, and punched him hard in the face sending him reeling back from me. I turned slightly and advanced on him, but he had quickly recovered from his surprise and was now growling at me in such a way that spoke of death if I didn’t back off... but I wasn’t planning on it. I backhanded him this time but he returned the favor and slapped me away. I slid a foot or so away but I got right back up, I glanced over to my side as I felt a hand on my shoulder. Roger stood there trying to help me but I only yanked myself away from him and walked back towards the waiting Amon.

                “Don’t Cherie.” Pandora whispered heatedly to Roger her eyes darkening, “This is nothing you can interfere with. She’ll kill you next time you even try to help her.”

                “What?” Roger looked rather surprised, “...What’s going on?”

                “Fight...for...dominance.” Donnie croaked out as Phair helped him sit up.

Roger’s eyes opened wide and he looked at me.

                “Shit.” Roger uttered.

 

                I walked towards Amon and he walked towards me. We circled each other like wolves, hungry for the fight, waiting for the other to make the first move. Amon growled at me his eyes darting to the gun in my hand and then back up to my face. This was my fight, I knew it now. I either had to settle it or die trying because I wasn’t going to take anymore of Amon’s sulking whining shit no matter how good the reason he has is.

                “Listen up you bitch.” I hissed out, ruffling Amon’s fur the wrong way, “I don’t care. I just don’t give a damn about your reasons for sulking like a pathetic worm.”

We kept on circling but slowly getting closer to one another as I spoke.

                “You probably lost a lover in a battle of meaningless male pride. She died getting torn up trying to save your hide.”

Amon stopped and screamed at me in pain and anger for a short moment and then stopped. I frowned at him,  reached out and smacked him across the face. Amon took a step back and snarled at me but I swung my hand back around and backhanded him.

                “Well guess what? You aren’t the only person who matters Amon. The whole damn world dose not revolve around you and your sorrows. People have problems and some are far worse off then you’ll ever be. In fact I bet you that someone out there right now is dying.” I said angrily, trying not to yell and throwing my hands outwards in a wide gesture.

Amon slammed his fist into my stomach and I doubled over, clasping both hands over my stomach and gritting my teeth trying not to gasp, trying not to give his that satisfaction. He grabbed me by the shoulder and made me stand up straight even though I was still holding my stomach. He gripped my other arm tight and began twisting it backwards. I tried to scream but it caught up in my throat. I opened one of my eyes and looked at Amon.

                “Go ahead and...”I gasped, “and break it Amon.”

Amon froze starting at me, silently, thoughtfully for a moment and then that moment passed. He growled loudly and twisted it more. I felt it, my bone groaning as it reached it’s limit, the first intense waves of pain as it began to bend and a wail of pain rose past my lips. The waves of pain became pricing pings of pain that tore across my whole body as I thrashed wildly trying to escape Amon’s grasp and making high pitched whining sounds. My hand coiled in pain and the gun slipped out of my hand... and Amon let me go. I crumpled to ground, rocking back and forth cradling my arm close to my side and groaning in pain as tears ran down my face. My breathing was swallow and quick, labored with pain. I waited, waited until my breath was at a calmer rate and then spoke again, craning my neck upwards to look at Amon’s face and into his silver wolf eyes.

                “At least you have someone.” I whispered but Amon heard.

                “What?” Amon breathed out shakily looking surprised.

I got up slowly looking down at my gun on the ground. I looked up at Amon as I slowly stretched out my battered arm.

                “At least you’re not alone, at least you have someone. Someone to call family and friend during hell or high water.” I said, my eyes and voice turning cold.

                “I don’t have anyone.” Amon said, his eyes narrowing.

I launched myself forward swinging my fist towards him, even though it was my bad arm and my whole body raced with pain as my fist contacted with the side of his face.

                “Don’t say that!” I snap and jump back a step, “You have your pack. You have them. So don’t you bullshit me.”

I ducked as Amon swung his arm wide at me but I couldn’t move in time to avoid his leg he kicked me in the side of the head. I stumbled backwards and ended up falling on my ass but I got up on my feet even though I was trembling.

                “I don’t have family, I don’t have anyone.” I said slapping my hand against my chest, “I am all alone. I don’t care how cruel it may sound, but you are spoiled. You are so fucked up in the head that I can’t stand it.”

Amon grabbed me by the shirt and I kneed him in the crotch. He gasped and let go of me clutching his hands to his crotch and it was my turn to grab him by the shirt. I twisted the shirt in one hand and punched him in the nose, over and over again, until I felt it crack under my knuckles and blood run from his nose and drip down his chin. I shoved him away from me as hard as I could and walked towards him... But a hand held me back. I whirled and came face to face with Roger.

                “ROGER!!!” I screamed as I slapped him across the face.

Pandora started towards us, hesitated , moved another step forward and then stopped dead in her tracks. She whimpered, caught between doing something motherly and listening to her wolf instincts to stay out of the fight. Phair joined in Pandora’s whimpering, except on  quieter level while Donnie growled softly to himself. Jaimen watched from afar, with Nicholas laying on the ground near by him, whimpering feeling like he should be over there and not taking care of a wounded pack member whom would fully recover in a few hours.

 

                Roger stumbled away from me and I stood there starring at him. I slowly looked away, feeling discussed with myself. I bowed my head knowing that my hair would fall over my face just so that it would be a small barrier between me and them. I had been ready to kill Roger at that second but something stopped me. I looked at my hands as if they weren’t my own and then closed my eyes tight against reality for a moment...that wouldn’t last.

 

                “Domo?” I heard Phair’s soft voice call to me from somewhere near me but I would not allow myself to look up, “Domo? You in there?”

Am I in here? I really don’t know... I can’t say for sure but I think I am. I winced at that thought and shook my head. I looked up and Phair fell into my view. She watched me, her eyes glimmering with a sadness I didn’t understand.

                “It’s over... you win.” Phair said softly and fell to the ground in front of me on one knee.

                “What?” I chocked out, but it came out as a very soft hiss.

Donnie turned his head and spat. He crawled over to me slowly on all fours as Pandora walked over. Pandora starred at me long and hard, her eyes blank, and then fell to the ground on one knee. Jaimen walked over as well, carrying Nicholas in his arms. He placed Nicholas gently on the ground near by and moved over to me on his knees. Donnie lifted himself up on his knees but I wasn’t watching any of them.... I was watching Amon.

 

                Amon’s pure silver eyes watched me, his body tense and ridged. The blood from his broken nose bled into his white tank top but he never bothered to wipe any of it away. His hair had fallen lose and strands of his long black mane danced across his face as the wind gently sang good bye. I could hear it, the soft caressing whisper that made me shudder and want to weep. But Amon was nothing... so to say. He lacked emotion, his normal love and desire for me was gone replaced by nothing. Just simply nothing, there is no other way to describe what was on his face as he turned to walk away. I watched Amon walk away and felt the tears drift down my face but it was as if I was watching myself from someone else body. My body wouldn’t listen to me, I wanted to run after Amon but nothing would move. I drew in a sharp breath that came out in a sob as I chocked out Amon’s name. He stopped for a moment, listening... And then disappeared  behind a curtain of dust.

 

                I sat in the hotel room, in a chair near by the window watching the rain fall. We’d left the airport after Amon vanished in a service Louis provided. I didn’t look at anyone or attempt to make conversation the whole ride to the hotel. So we all sat in grim silence. I don’t know... some part of mind is screaming I’m happy Amon’s gone but another part is saying who else did you have? I grimaced at the thought and looked over at Roger who was asleep on the queen size bed. No, I have him now... but not forever. He’s only a friend... and now that I think about it even if he wasn’t married to Sammy I don’t he could stand me. So he was never mine in the first place. I sigh softly and look at the bathroom door as it opens and Donnie walks out. He stops just long enough to open the door to the other room and go inside but he never speared a glance at me. I wasn’t really excepting him too I guess. I got up and walked across the room, pausing by Roger’s sleeping form to brush some bangs out of his face and then I went out the door. I walked down the hallway and towards the elevator. I looked at my reflection in the elevator doors as it starred back at me and notice how not me I looked.

 

                I took the elevator to the roof and stood out there in the rain with my head titled back. I closed my eyes and tried to remember, what had happened and what I had become. But the only answer I found was that I had become me, and no other.

                “It’s funny, how the rain seems to bring sadness or misery with it no matter where it goes.” A rich voice called as I heard the footsteps of someone walking up beside me.

 I opened my eyes and found Amon standing besides me. His hair undone, soaked and clinging to his body, and his head turned sky wise with his eyes closed.

                “Yeah it is.” I said softly as I closed my eyes and turned my head skywards.

                “They say the rain washes away memories... if that’s so, why is my heart still breaking?” Amon’s voice dropped to a hushed whisper.

I opened my eyes again and looked at Amon. He was looking at me, his eyes dark blue... almost like a sea. I think I could drown in those eyes.

                “Because... Some memories... not even time can change.” I answered in a whisper.

                “I know.” Amon said, smiling ever so slightly.

                “I didn’t know...” I trailed off and looked down at the ground.

                “I know you didn’t. But I needed it.” Amon said as he stepped towards me and gently placed his arms around me.

I placed a hand lightly on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

                “I’ve never seen you sulk so much.” I said softly, a smile playing on my lips.

                “Oh really?” Amon asked  as he cocked an eyebrow, “ I didn’t think I was that bad.”

                “You should’ve seen it from my point of view.” I said as I lifted my head to look up at him.

                “I’m sorry Dominno.” Amon whispered as he leaned towards me until our shoulders touched.

                “All will be well... just take back your pack.” I sighed out and shook my head, “I really don’t have any idea how to take care of them... Not the way they want to be taken care of.”

                “A bend of the neck, a ruffle of fur, a change in your eyes. But no change is so sweet until I have witnessed you lost in passion.” Amon muttered as he moved to stand in front of me.

                “What? What are you babbling about? You’re getting off topic aren’t you?” I snapped, scowling at Amon.

Amon laughed, his face brightened as he did. He stepped forward and stooped downwards until our foreheads were resting against one another. He slipped his arms ever so gently around my waist and held me against him in a grasp that could have been easily broken.

                “What in the hell are you doing?” I asked softly, smacking his hand lightly as it dared to wander down my hip.

Amon returned his wandering hand back to my waist and I frowned at him.

                “You’re ignoring me...” I growled into his face.

                “No I am not.” Amon said softly, smiling at me.

                “Then why didn’t you pay attention when I said  ‘just take back your pack’?” I asked, slightly angry.

Amon ‘s face went blank as he gazed into my eyes, and I felt lost, drowning in his gaze with no one to help me this time. He moved again, this time towards my lips and he kissed me gently and questioningly. His hands fluttered over my sides and I felt shocked to my very core. Not only did I ...I want this attention...craved it... I craved it enough to kill for it... And now that I knew that I was scared. Amon was looking me in the eyes again, my name playing silently on his lips as he gazed at me with deep concern. He petted my cheek lightly with the back of his hand and leaned down to kiss me but I offered my lips, titling my head back and closing my eyes. He kissed me hungrily as we clung to each other, it was if we were trying to devour each other through this kiss...but that was not possible, not for him and me. I slapped Amon and took several staggering steps away from him. He and I looked at each other for a silent moment as he touched a hand lightly to his cheek.... And then we laughed until our jaws were sore from smiling so much.

 

                                I couldn’t believe it and I still don’t but I waltz into the hotel room humming happily, with Amon not too far behind me. I paused when I realized what I was doing and noticed all eyes had fallen on me and all mouths were wide open. I flushed and quick marched it over to the bed after elbowing Amon in the stomach when I heard him chuckling. I sat down on the bed and blinked when a cool hand slid onto my forehead.

                “She doesn’t feel warm.” Phair said, looking at me spaciously.

                “What? Is it against the law to be happy every now and again?” I asked, frowning at Phair.

Donnie stood up from the chair he had been sitting in and walked over to me. He took my face into his hands and forced me to look into his eyes.

“Who are you and what have you done with Dominno?” Donnie asked in all seriousness.

I frowned at Donnie and kicked him in the shin. He yipped and bounced a few steps away before falling on his butt.

                “Never mind... That’s Dominno.” Donnie hissed out as he rubbed his shin.

Pandora laughed as she got up to hug Amon who hugged her back tightly. I sniffed at the two of them and glanced over to Jaimen who was napping in front of the TV,  a trail of drool running down the side of his face and pooling on the carpet. I glanced around for something to throw at Jaimen but found nothing in hands reach except for a lamp attached to the wall... so I didn’t bother for now. I frowned and felt like I was missing head count on someone....

                “Where’s Nicholas?” I asked, looking at Phair.

Phair swallowed nervously and looked away. She fidgeted and gazed at Donnie asking silently for help. Donnie got up and brushed himself off. He stood up straight and tried to make himself look buffer then he was by taking a deep breath. Neither Phair nor I was impressed and I tossed the phone book at him... I wonder where that was when I was going to throw something at Jaimen. He yelped as he crumbled back down to the floor, ending up with the phone book in his lap.

                “Thank you.” Phair muttered.

                “You’re welcome.” I muttered back, “Now answer me, where’s Nicholas?”

                “He’s at the local hospital being taken care of by the local pack. They seem to be willing to help.” Pandora said as she walked over to the bed and sat down.

                “But can we trust them?” I asked looking over at Pandora.

I received no answer but even that was answer enough. We can trust this pack about as much as one would trust a strange they just bumped into in a dark ally way. I sighed and took the phone from Phair as Donnie as he handed it to her and threw it at Jaimen as he started snoring. It landed in the middle of his stomach and he wheezed loudly as he sat up and started choking on his own drool.

“We have to get moving.” I said as I turned to look at Phair, Pandora and Amon.

Donnie stood up and dusted himself off but Jaimen was still choking, sadly.

                “Why?” Amon asked softly, sounding almost as if he knew the answer but he wanted it said out loud.

                “Because we have no idea what this pack might do to Nicholas, now do we?” I said as I got up and walked over to the pile of bags.

No one said anything but Pandora gently roused Roger as I dug through the bags and pulled out my guns. I placed in browning in one pocket and the morning star in the other and held the shot gun in my hands. I glanced around as Roger yawned loudly from the bed as he sat up.

                “Amon? Do you have an extra strap?” I asked still looking at the pile of stuff in front of me.

Amon walked across the room and pulled a leather strap out of a bag. He handed it too me and grabbed my hand as I grabbed the strap. I glared at him and hit him in the side with the butt of the shot gun. He winced and let go.
                “Don’t get grabby on me.” I muttered as I loaded the shot gun.

                “Dominno.” Amon whispered, “We really shouldn’t go armed.”

                “I know... but after what I’ve been through I never go anyplace strange without carrying a gun.” I said as I snapped the shot gun back together.

 

                I stood on the street, watching the cars drive past and a few honking at someone. I sighed and closed my eyes. What I wouldn’t do for a sign or something that this wasn’t all for nothing. I turned around and opened my eyes. I pulled my trench coat close around me as I looked at the hospital where Nicholas was at. I Glanced at Amon who was standing next to me and he only nodded and started to walk towards the hospital. Pandora and Phair followed in suit, and Jaimen and Donnie trailed after them. I stood there looking at the hospital, feeling something down in my gut stir. I didn’t like what I was feeling... but it was my fault Nicholas had been hurt so it was my responsibility to make sure he was alright. I nodded my head with that thought and headed towards the hospital.

 

                The nurse at the front desk looked up at me as I walked into and I gaped at her. She looked like she should be in a punk band not looking all cute in a white nurses outfit. She had bright pink hair and three small silver rings piercings in her right eyebrow. I shook my head and took in a deep breath. I reminded myself that this hospital was run by a pack of werewolf's... I should’ve excepted this. I walked up to the desk and smiled my best smile, at the moment, at the nurse.

                “Hi.” I called softly as she smiled up at me.

                “If you’re with the group of werewolf’s that just walked in, their on the second floor in room 1213.” The nurse said as if she could read my mind.

I blinked a few times, slightly amazed that she knew what I was going to ask... and then it occurred to me she was probably a werewolf and could smell Amon and the werewolf’s on me. Talk about ruining the image. I grinned to myself as I headed towards the stairs but I stopped when someone appeared in front of me, blocking my route to the stairs. I looked upwards into the violet eyes that gazed down at me.

                “You must be Dominno.” The man said softly and smiling in a more then a friendly manner.

I took a step back so I could look at the tall man standing in front of me who seemed to know my name. He seemed to tower over me, being that I am only 5’7”. He smiled and paused to brush some of his dishwater blond hair out of his face. The biker gloves on his hands somehow didn’t seem to match the long sleeve blue t-shirt and the khaki pants but the black boots he was wearing somehow seemed to pull it all together. I admired the dragon necklace resting against his chest for a moment before I returned my gaze to his face and noticed the piercings on him; two in his left ear, one on his right, and one on his left eyebrow. I cocked an eyebrow when I noticed he had fangs in his smile...was he a werewolf? It made sense... at least in my mind.

                “And who are you wolf-boy?” I asked, frowning slightly.

                “Dade.” He said, his accent smooth but somehow rough around the edges. I’d describe it as wolfish.

                “Dade... And what exactly are you?” I asked as I crossed my arms.

                “Werewolf but I think you already know that.” Dade said, a warm grin spreading across his face.

I felt his grin, more then I saw it, inside me, trying to warm me up and make me relax but I wasn’t going to allow him to butt into my personal space so soon.

                “Stop grinning.” I snapped at him.

                “Why?” Dade asked, his grin getting bigger.

                “Because it unnerves me, alright?” I muttered as I glared at him but I knew that wasn’t the reason I wanted him to stop grinning.

Dade stopped grinning and looked at me, but it wasn’t just him looking at me it was something else in his eye observing me as well. I gazed into his eyes and I wanted to say something like ‘stop starring at me’ or ‘what are you looking at?’. But I couldn’t my find own voice. He reached towards me and I closed my mouth. His hands...are very soft but...strong.

                “You shouldn’t gawk at people you just met.” Dade teased, a smile playing on his lips.

I glared and took a step back. I do not gawk, at anyone. I uncross my arms and pointed at him.

                “Don’t look into it, I’ve got enough men wanting to be on my plate.” I growled out as I poked him hard in the chest.

Dade grabbed my hand and yanked me towards him gently. We stood, chest to chest, and I gazed up into his eyes, surprised and not knowing what to do.

                “What if I do look into it?” Dade whispered, the smile gone from his lips but there was something in his lovely violet eyes I didn’t understand, “What if I just want to get to know you?”

I shook my head, my eyes never left his, and tried to push myself away from him but he slipped a arm quickly around my waist and held me to him.

                “I don’t know you and right now I don’t like you. One of my friends is upstairs hurt. I have to go to him, I don’t have time for you.” I whispered, sounding unsure of what I just said.

                “He’s in my care, he will get better.” Dade said, his eyes darkening.

                “How can I trust you?” I asked, voice no louder then a whisper.

                “I can’t answer that.” Dade replied.

I was lost, in his eyes as they slowly started changing into a bright jade color. I haven’t seen this color before, in wolf eyes at least. But there’s something in his bright jade green eyes tells me something about him, that he is wild and a alpha.

                “How...could you be alpha?” I asked breathlessly.

                “That’s my secret for now Dominno, a secret you won’t learn until you become mine.” Dade whispered as he brushed his lips against mine.

Mine....mine...His? Something snapped in my head and it was my patients. I felt anger wash over me and my lips slide into a sneer.

                “I don’t belong to anyone. Now let me go.” I hissed as I reached for the shot gun hanging across my back.

Dade let me go and I stumbled backwards a bit. I stood there, one hand under my coat half way to my gun the other out in the air for balance.

                “Do you always treat everyone like property?” I asked.

                “Never. I don’t own my pack like Amon does, they can go where ever they please.” Dade snorted out as he crossed his arms.

                “Then am I so special I deserve some kind of special treatment?” I asked as I stood up straight, lowering both hands to my sides.

                “No Dominno, you’re not. I’m just interested in you, that’s all.” Dade stated, and it sounded rather honest to me.

                “Interested?” I questioned.

                “You are so much more then Amon told me you were, you have the potential to be any packs Lupa and enough power to back yourself up all alone.” Dade explain as he looked at me.

                “So you want me just because of my power? Is that it?” I asked bitterly.

                “No, Dominno. Listen to me.” Dade pleaded but I stopped him as I held out my hand towards him.

                “No, for once I won’t listen to anyone. I am not some toy to be passed around as people see fit.” I sighed out as I rubbed the bridge of my nose.

                “And I know that. You could’ve killed me earlier. I felt your shotgun.” Dade said sounding slightly sad.

                “How could I? I was being seduced, by you!” I yelled as I threw my hands up in the air.

                “I wasn’t seducing  you, I just wanted to hold you.” Dade said softly.

                “Why?” I asked, sounding as surprised as I looked.

                “Do you believe love at first sight?” Dade asked, looking at me hopefully.

                “Move.” I ordered.

Dade stepped aside and let me walk up the stairs, and I felt his eyes on my back as I walked up the stairs.

 

                I sat on the edge o the bed, brushing my fingers through Nicholas’s bangs. He looked pretty pitiful with all the medical whatnot attached to him. He looked even more pitiful as he opened  his green eyes and looked at me. They were wide, slightly fearful and looked like a dogs eyes, a dog that was excepting to be kicked.

                “Hey Nicholas.” I said softly as I continued to run my fingers through his bangs.

                “Dominno...” Nicholas muttered as he nuzzled his forehead against the palm of my hand.

                “I’m sorry.” I whispered as I gently scratched his skin.

                “I...know...” Nicholas whispered back and I noticed his voice was slightly duller now. Probably from the bullet.

                “Will your voice ever go back to normal?” I asked as I tucked my hand in my lap with my other one.

                “No, I’m afraid not. I’m lucky you weren’t packing silver.” Nicholas said with a small smile.

                “Don’t joke about that or I might actually laugh.” I smiled at him.

                “I don’t know if that would be a good thing or a bad thing.” Nicholas muttered and then yawned loudly.

                “Can’t you yawn quietly?” Phair growled from the chair she was sitting in.

                “Oh come now cherie,” Pandora said as she reached out and patted Phair on the leg, “You sometimes yawn even louder then that yourself.”

Phair glares at Pandora and gave her a little playful growl. Pandora chuckled and looked at me with a smile that always warms me from my head to my toes. It’s just one of those smiles that tell you every one and everything is alright right now.

                “Oh Pandora, where did you learn to smile?” I asked in a soft sigh.

                “My mother gave me her smile.” Pandora replied, her face lighting with pride, motherly pride I guess.

                “She was a wonderful woman.” Donnie said as he walked into the room.

I got up from the bed but Nicholas whimpered softly, wanting me to stay put. But I walked over to Donnie regardless.

                “You okay?” I asked as I looked up into his laser blue eyes

                “I’ve been okay for the last day or so, Nicholas was the worst of us.” Donnie explained as he smiled.

                “I’m sorry about shooting you.” I said as I hung my head slightly, feeling slightly ashamed of myself.

                “You warned me, I didn’t listen so it’s my fault.” Donnie said as he took me into his arms and gave me a firm squeeze before letting me go.

I smiled at Donnie as he walked over to a empty chair and sat down in it. I turned and walked over to the bed again and sat back down.

                “Where’s Jaimen?” I asked as I suddenly noticed he wasn’t there.

                “Getting food, he’ll be back soon.” Phair answered as Nicholas placed his hand on mine.

                “Where’s Amon?” I asked.

No one answered me, no one looked at me, not even Pandora.

                “What’s going on? Where’s Amon?” I demanded as I frowned slightly.

                “He’s next door.” Jaimen said from where he stood at the door way with bags of food in his arms.

                “Doing what?” I asked as I stood up and this time Nicholas didn’t make a sound.

Again, they all looked down at the floor and didn’t answer me. I decided to take matters into my own hands because I wasn’t going to get any answers from these guys. I walked towards Jaimen but he had this strange pleading look on his that practically begged me to stay without saying anything. And I almost did, that look Jaimen gave me was almost enough to make me stay but I had made up my mind.

                “Jaimen...” I warned and he walked past me quickly, setting down the food by the door.

The wolves gathered around Nicholas and cowered , afraid of something I didn’t know what was. I walked out of the room and to the room next door. I as I stood there in front of the door, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Something wasn’t right....I debated if I should brag in or knock. Barging won but as I saw what was in the room I wished I hadn’t barged in. A woman sat on top of Amon, her naked back towards me. She has half of his shirt ripped open and clenched in her hands. She was chuckling softly to herself and looking over the part of Amon’s chest exposed to her. But Amon’s eyes weren’t looking at her, his eyes were looking at me.

 

                I could feel the tears forming at my eyes, demanding release, but I will not, I refuse, to let Amon know he has hurt me. I turn away from Amon’s blank face and move over towards the door.

                “D-Dominno! Wait!” Amon cried out as I heard him struggling to untangle himself from the woman.

I paused at the door, gripping the door frame ready to throw myself out if he got to close. I heard a sharp cracking sound behind me and the sound of someone shuffling towards me slowly. They came to a stop behind me.

                 “Dominno, it’s not what it seems.” Amon’s voice reason softly behind me.

                “Then what is it? A practice screw? A way to woo me some how?” I asked softly, trying to sound uncaring and sarcastic but failing miserably as tears drifted down my face.

                “She came into the room and wanted to have a private word with me. She took me to the room next door and explained that she wanted to become Lupa of my pack. I told her I wasn’t looking for one but she wouldn’t hear it.” Amon explained, voice sounded hurt.

                “So you let her screw you to prove she was dominant over you. Is that it?” I asked as I felt the hurt turn into anger.

                “No,” Amon pleaded as he wrapped his arms around my shoulder, “She was planning to screw me to prove to everyone else she was my dominant.”

I reached up and clawed Amon’s arms as I leaned forward with all my weight. I felt his arms slip from around my shoulders, but I didn’t feel the side of my head smash into the wall in front of me. Darkness flared at the corner of my vision as I felt something warm, wet, and thick seep from my nose and down my chin. I fell down onto my side as my head started to throb painfully. I felt hands pull me up to my feet and I opened my eyes slowly. As the darkness faded away from my vision I saw Amon’s concerned, worried face mere inches from mine.

                “Dominno... Your nose is bleeding.” Amon whispered to me.

At that moment, with a look in his eyes that was meant for me alone, I forgot why I was hurt and why I was angry with him. I forgot the half way naked woman in the room we were just in and I leaned against him. Amon whimpered words of comfort softly as he wrapped his arms around me. I tilted my head back for a kiss but he didn’t kiss me, he timidly licked the blood from my upper lip. He licked his way down my chin with small, timid licks until he had cleaned away all the blood. He moved back and gazed into my eyes. I felt something inside me, a desire to do something I would never think of doing as I gazed into his eyes. I wanted to lick the blood from the scratches I had made on his arms, not to prove I was dominant but I was his equal.

                “It wouldn’t matter if I screwed him everyday, he will always see you as his dominant.” The woman said as she walked out of the room, a large bruise on her cheek and looking very pissed off at me.

Suddenly I remembered the woman, and that brought back the anger. Amon looked over at the woman like he was going to explain something, but I lifted my knee as hard as I could, hitting him in the groin. He shuddered violently as his hands moved to protect himself from further blows. I glared at the woman over Amon’s shoulder.

                “I will kill you if I ever see you again, either of you.” I hissed out as I clutched my hands into fists at my sides.

                “But why? It seems I misjudged your love for him.” The woman growled back.

                “Because I don’t let anyone hurt me like this and get away with it.” I said, my voice empty as I turned and walked down the hall.

                “Dominno! Wait!” Amon rasped out but I kept on walking, “Dominno! I love you!”

With those words, Amon had broken every barrier I had constructed around myself to protect myself from everything. I ran as fast as I could down the hall in any direction, blinded by the tears that I could no longer hold back.

 

                I shoved open door after door as I ran down the hall until I found a wall in front of me. I looked around the room quickly as tears burned my eyes. The room looked empty and unused but that was fine with me right now, I don’t think I would have cared if there was someone in here anyway. I slid down the wall sniffling until I was on my hands and knees. I crawled slowly over to a corner, dripping a trail of tears as I crawled, and curled up in the corner. I thought I had maybe loved and known Amon at one point in time, but apparently I didn’t know him at all. I had known he was really touchy-feely with the pack but I thought he loved me. I must’ve been fooling myself into thinking he would wait for me. I’m only here for my wolves now... were they ever mine? Why am I even calling them mine? Amon never made me Lupa and He’ll never get the chance again. I sure as hell hope he doesn’t make that leg spreading bitch his Lupa. Why should I care? Why should I care if he’s fucked up his life? Why should I care if he’s condemned his pack forever? I don’t! I don’t! I don’t!... Oh fuck, who am I kidding? Rodger? I need you, where are you?

 

                I glanced over at the door as someone knocked softly.

                “Dominno?” A voice called softly.

It was Dade, I recognized his smooth accent and slightly wolfish voice.

                “Dominno? Are you alright?” Dade called softly again.

I chose not to answer that because right now, I don’t know how I feel. I was sad, angry and hurt. But those were just surface emotions, I was numb inside and hand no idea how I felt.

                “Dominno... answer me or I’ll come in.” Dade growled as something bounced off the door with a loud thud.

                “I don’t know...”I muttered as I wiped my wet cheeks on the sleeve of my coat.

The door opened and Dade walked in. He closed the door behind him and walked over to me. He sat down next to me without asking me if it was okay for him to do that... how rude.

                “I thought you said you wouldn’t come in if I answered you.” I muttered as I pressed my face up against the cool surface of the wall.

                “I never said I wouldn’t come in after you answered, now did I?” Dade asked as he looked at me.

I grimaced and wanted him to leave me in peace, so I could cry freely and not feel ashamed of doing it. I wanted to feel mad, hurt, and sad and I didn’t want anyone to ruin the mood. I suddenly found myself holding my breath as strong hands slid around my waist. I didn’t help nor struggle at all as the hands started pulling the coat ff of me. A arm slipped around my waist and pulled me back away from the way. My coat came off easily followed shortly by my shot gun but I did protest. I was pulled back against a warm chest and warm arms draped over me as I sighed out my breath that I had been holding slowly.

                “Dominno, let me hold you.” Dade whispered into my ear as he nuzzled his face gently against my hair.

                “But you are.” I muttered as I starred at the ceiling.

                “No, your laying there limp in m arms. You’re being held but I’m not really holding you.” Dade whispered into my hair.

                “So go away and leave me alone.” I muttered as I closed my eyes.

                “No Dominno, because you need...want someone to hold you.” Dade whispered and then kisses my forehead lightly.

Dade let me sit up and turn towards him. He reached out towards my face and wiped a few tears away.

                “You may not know me or trust me but I’ll never hurt you.” Dade said as he wiped a few more tears away with his thumb.

I needed that right now, someone who won’t hurt me and who would hold me until my tears are dry. I admit it.

                “You...promise?” I asked, my voice laced with sadness.

                “I give you my life freely if I ever hurt you.” Dade replied as he held out his arms to me.

I fell into his arms, willingly and pressed my body up against his. I buried my face into his chest and wept as I wrapped my arms around him tightly. Dade wrapped his arms around me and leaned down over me slightly, pressing his lips to my hair as he muttered words of comfort to me. He was my shield now, my shield from Amon, the other wolves, and from the world. He was warm and safe. He was all I needed, not just at this moment but maybe always...maybe  for as long as I live...

 

                I felt Dade’s arms around me, his chin resting on top of my head but I was curled up in his lap now. He must be sitting in a chair or something I think. I sigh softly as I open my eyes just a bit and snuggle closer to Dade. We weren’t in the same room any more and that didn’t bother me at all. I looked around the room slowly and noticed Nicholas sprawled out in the middle of the room on a dark red carpet. Phair had her head pillowed on his left thigh but she sat up and poked his thigh and he frowned in his sleep. She poked his thigh again and he growled as he peaked open one eye and looked at her.

                “Relax your muscles.” Phair demanded softly as she poked him in the thigh again.

Nicholas sighed and closed his eyes. Phair smiled to herself and then settled back down on his leg looking rather pleased with herself. Donnie crawled into the room from somewhere, where exactly he came from is something I don’t know because the room is rather dark. Donnie crawled over to Nicholas and flopped down, using his stomach as a pillow. Nicholas grunted but just laid there, not complaining, not moving. Jaimen and Pandora crawled into the room side by side. Jaimen crawled around Nicholas and rested his head on Nicholas’s right thigh. Pandora crawled around to his right side to but she snuggled up to his shoulder and he draped his arm across her. I watched them all growl softly to each other, must be a greetings or something like that, and then settle down to sleep.

                “Apparently their faith lies in you, not Amon.” Dade whispered to me alone as he rubbed my arm with one of his hands.

I closed my eyes tight and hid my face against his chest.

                “Shhh, Dominno baby. Please don’t cry.” Dade pleaded ever so softly as he started rocking us both back and forth gently.

I smiled against his shirt and I couldn’t help myself either. This is the first time any guy has called me baby and I found it slightly funny.

                “Don’t call me baby.” I whispered as I turned my head to look up at Dade.

                “How about doll? Sugar?” Dade questioned, his marvelous grin drifting across his lips.

                “No. Neither!” I actually laughed softly.

                “Alright then, sweetie pie? Honey?” Dade asked.

                “You call me sweetie pie and I might be forced to hurt you.” I said as I smiled bit.

                “Honey?” Dade question, he seemed to be running out of pet names for now.

                “Dade, I like you but we’re not going out. So don’t try to give me a pet name.” I sighed out loudly as I looked over at the wolves.

                “Hey, she likes me. She really likes me.” Dade exclaimed as he hugged me tight.

                “Dade...” I grumbled.

                “I know, don’t look into it.” Dade chuckled out as he kissed my forehead.

                “At least not yet...not so soon...” I whispered.

                “Cherie?” Pandora called to me softly.

I looked over at Pandora and found all the wolves had gathered around the chair Dade and I were in.

                “Are you alright now?” Pandora asked as she reached out to wipe away a stray tear.

                “I don’t know.” I sighed out as I looked up at Dade, “But here is where I want to stay fro a while.”

Dade seemed very content and happy with my decision as he kissed my forehead again.

                “Amon...” Phair stated but she didn’t continue.

I looked over at Phair and into her pansy blue eyes.

                “He was just laying there, he wasn’t trying to stop her. That’s what hurt me Phair. The fact that he didn’t seem to want to wait for me any longer.” I said as I slowly looked over the faces of the wolves.

Dade held me close to him and nuzzled his face into my hair. I sighed and leaned back into his grasp. He will never hurt me, he promised. I tilted my head back far enough so I could kiss his forehead and then I looked back at the wolves.

                “Why are you all here?” I asked softly as I placed my hands on Dade’s arms.

                “As Dade said, our faith lies in you.” Jaimen said as he looked at me with something I couldn’t describe.

                “And not only that, you are family and friend. You have risked your life for us more times then we have counted.” Phair said as she smiled at me softly.

                “She’s right, but you also beat Amon in the dominance battle.” Donnie pointed out but he didn’t really seem serious about the battle part.

                “But you...guys gave me the home. I...” I didn’t try to make sense of it because it didn’t matter what I thought of it, they were my wolves and I was right to think of them as mine.

                “Thank you. “ I said instead of trying to make sense of it all.

                “Your welcome.” Nicholas said with a warm smile and then he was ushered out of the room by Pandora and placed back into that pink haired nurses hands... I think...

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