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It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind. When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose. I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?" Is Windows 95 the ultimate triumph of marketing over technology? If everyone settled for good enough, would things be good enough? ...Of coarse they would, because everyone believes things are good enough. The only reason to change something is if someone feels it's not good enough. Therefore, if everyone felt everything was good enough, nothing would have to change, and things would ALWAYS be good enough. GOOD ENOUGH? Why do aliens in sci-fi films always speak English, with an American accent? How can anyone NOT read their own handwriting? Where is the 'any' key on my computer keyboard? How come pizza gets to your house quicker than the police do? Is a friend somebody who knows you, but likes you anyway? If it isn't fun, why do it? Is change inevitable in everything except a vending machine? Why do some documents have pages with 'This page intentionally left blank' written on some pages? Surely these pages are not blank when they have 'This page is intentionally left blank' written on them? We have enough youth - what about a fountain of intelligence? If you shouted at your plants instead of talking to them would they stop growing because they felt troubled and insecure? How can you be anything but yourself? Is there another word for synonym? If diamonds are a girls best friend, and a dog is a mans best friend, who really is the dumber sex? If you wanted to find out how many lives your cat had left, would you be able to repeatedly hit it with a mallet, and then simply subtract thenumber of blows used to bring about it's demise from nine? Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ‘em go, because, man, they're gone. I think there should be something in science called the "reindeer effect." I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect."
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