“Emily?”

She closed her eyes. “Go away, Lucky. I’m too tired for round two.” Her voice was harsh and bitter; sounding foreign even to her own ears.

“Reggie said you were out here.”

“Bully for him.”

“Emily I wanted to apologize for what I said the other night....”

She opened her eyes and glared at him. “What did you expect Lucky? What do you want from me? I won’t apologize for being out in the daylight. This is my home at least for a few more days. You’re the one who’s trespassing here. You’re the one whose not wanted, so why don’t you just leave.”

“You really must hate me.” He whispered the words softly and for a moment they hung between them like something tangible, a barrier they couldn’t get past.

“I don’t hate you. I’m just tired. Tired of having to defend myself over and over and over again.” She wrapped her coat closer around her. “I just want it to end.”

“Emily.... I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what? For hating me? For making me feel like some kind of monster? For leaving me alone when I needed you the most?” She shivered, keeping her gaze focused on the blood red rose in front of her. “For not believing me?”

“For God’s sake Emily what did you expect from me? I had just lost Elizabeth. I wasn’t thinking straight. Hell I wasn’t thinking at all. The evidence against you was....damning.”

“So?” She didn’t look up as he sat next to her on the concrete bench. “What are you doing here Lucky?”

“Em...” He began softly but she cut him off fiercely.

“Don’t. Don’t sit here and pretend to be my friend. Not know. Not after everything. Don’t call me by a nickname and think that a few words and a few empty gestures are going to make everything all right.”

“Emily...”

“No!” She stood up angrily, unable to sit still, unable to leave yet not comfortable staying. “The other night by the river...I felt so damned guilty you know. And then it hit me as I was walking home. I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t turn my back on you. I didn’t believe something horrible about you. You did that.” She turned and looked at him. “I didn’t destroy our friendship...you did that. So I’m tired of hiding. Tired of walking away when I see you coming down the street. If it bothers you to see me walking around when your precious Elizabeth is dead- tough luck. Deal with it. Deal with it like I had to learn to deal all those years in prison. Believe me when I tell you that you’re getting the better end of the bargain. A few more days and I’ll be out of your life again and you can go back to your precious bottle and use your righteous anger to make yourself believe that you’re the bastard we both know you are.”

He stared at her intensely, trying to find in the woman any signs of the innocent girl she had once been, the friend she had once been. There was none.

“Emily I came to apologize. I came to tell you how sorry I am for believing even for a moment that you killed Elizabeth.”

“You didn’t believe it for a moment Lucky. You believed it for years.”

“And I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you sorry?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not that difficult a question, Lucky. Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been so damned judgmental of people. I mean you were my best friend and I respected you so much, but I was always afraid around you.”

Lucky looked up, startled. “Afraid?”

“You heard me.” Emily walked back over and sat down, her hands in her lap twisting around each other nervously. “Remember those damned photos when Tom was blackmailing me? I was scared to tell you, scared how you would react. I’d seen you turn away from your parents because you somehow judged them lacking. I mean granted your parents weren’t perfect, but I’d watch the way you treated your mom back then and I’d think what a bastard you were. Your mother was alive, your mother was there for you and you kept pushing her away. All right so she lied. She didn’t live up to that perfect Madonna image you had in your head all those years. But dammit Lucky she loved you and she was alive for you to love. And you almost threw that away. And then there was your dad. I know what he did was wrong, I’m not stupid and naive. Yet he was your father. Do you ever wonder Lucky why I never talked about my father? I used to talk about my mother all the time but never my father. Someday I’ll tell you why. Or maybe I won’t. They were your parents Lucky and you were going to cut them out of your life just like that. Is it any wonder that I was afraid to tell you about those pictures? Afraid that you might cut me out of your life. Little did I know that I was only postponing the inevitable.”

Emily shook her head and looked straight up at him as she finished. “So I’m asking you again Lucky are you sorry that you hurt me or sorry that you proved to yourself that you’re only as human as the rest of us?”

Lucky took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for all of it. Sorry that Elizabeth died. Sorry that you were accused of her murder. Sorry that I didn’t believe in your innocence. Sorry that you spent the last few years in prison.” He reached for her hand and held it in his. “But most of all I’m sorry for throwing away your friendship.”

The brown eyes that looked into his were filled with a tired sadness.

“Apology accepted.” Emily stood up gracefully. “Now do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Get the hell out of my life.”

Lucky watched her ago. What was it he had told Maxie? That making up to Emily for what had happened to her, what he had done to her, was going to be impossible. It looked like he had underestimated the situation.

He ran to catch up with her as she made her way back towards the house.

“I meant it.”

“I believe you.”

“I want to help you.”

That stopped her. “I am not your newest damsel-in-distress Spencer.”

“No, you’re my oldest friend.”

“It’s too late Lucky. Too much has happened.”

“It’s never too late.”

“It is this time. Oh I admit those first few months in prison I kept waiting for you to visit. I’d left instructions that I didn’t want to see Nikolas, but you.... I didn’t tell them not to let you in. It turns out that I didn’t need to. I kept hoping as the months went by and things...became less intense that you’d remember the kind of person I am and realize that I couldn’t have done it. I played it out in my fantasy all the time... you’d apologize, I’d forgive you, and somehow our friendship would be okay again. I could have used a friend Lucky. I’d lost Nikolas...I’d lost everything. My freedom. My family. My privacy. My future. I could have used a friend. But you never came. You never came and now it’s too late.”

“It’s not too late. Emily I’m sorry. I was stupid and immature and stupid and wrong and stupid and hurtful and stupid. I know you. Whatever happened that night, I know you would never have hurt Elizabeth. I know it now and I think I knew it then. I just ...nothing in my life had ever hurt as badly as losing Elizabeth. Nothing. I needed to blame someone. I needed to hurt someone as badly as I was hurting myself. I needed to be angry, to feel anger, to feel anything but this terrible emptiness that was all I had left. Blaming you for Elizabeth’s death, hating you for what had happened to her, it gave me something to focus on other than the pain. It got me through losing Elizabeth in a way. It almost didn’t matter what I felt as long as it stopped me from feeling the pain I knew was coming. After...after you went to prison I used other things to keep from feeling.” Like alcohol he realized softly.

“Oh, so my going to prison was some kind of therapy to help you adjust to Liz’s death.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“No that’s what you said. God Lucky you are such a jerk.”

“Dammit Emily you aren’t a saint yourself.”

She turned on him. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means that I think you like playing the martyr Emily. You want me to continue to feel bad about what I did so you pretend to forgive me like some kind of benevolent God but the truth is that you haven’t forgiven me one little bit because it makes YOU feel superior to be the poor little victim. You should scream and yell or hit me for God’s sake and all you do is clam up so that you can tell yourself the rest of the world is the Big Bad Wolf and you’re Little Red Riding Hood.”

She stared at him for a long moment. “Do you realize that makes absolutely no sense of any kind?”

Lucky flushed. “Yes, but it kept you from walking away.” He paused. “I really am sorry.”

She nodded. “I imagine you are. But it really is too late.”

“You keep saying that. Why is it too late?”

Emily stared down at her feet for a long second and then looked up. “I’m going back to prison at the end of the week.”

“What?” Lucky felt like the world had turned itself upside down in the last 48 hours. He’d gone from a deep bitterness that Emily was released on a technicality to a belief in her innocence and a commitment to prove her innocence.

“Alexis is making a deal with the district attorney. I’m pleading guilty to 2nd degree manslaughter.”

“Why? You didn’t do it.”

“It doesn’t matter. My innocence or guilt isn’t relevant. I learned that at the first trial. I am innocent but the jury didn’t believe me. They convicted me and I was sentenced to life in prison. A new jury and a new trial aren’t going to find any differently.”

“You don’ know that.”

“There’s no new evidence Lucky. Nothing’s changed, okay. I still don’t have an alibi. I was still found over the body. My fingerprints are still on the knife.”

“You can’t just give up. You have to keep fighting.”

“I told you Lucky, I’m tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of trying to convince people that I’m innocent. I’ve only been home a few weeks and it’s been hell. I can see the look on people’s faces, the doubts. Hell, the only one in my family who believes completely in my innocence is AJ. Crazy isn’t? I think if it hadn’t been for AJ and Alexis I’d have gone crazy in prison.” A hard look crossed her face. “I don’t want to go back to prison.”

“You won’t.”

“Yes I will. This...getting the charges dismissed on a technicality it’s a fluke. A really unpleasant fluke because it just shows me that I can’t go back again. I can’t pretend the last five years haven’t happened. As far as the town of Port Charles goes, I’m a convict. I’m a murderer. Nothing is going to change that.”

“Proving your innocence will.”

“No it won’t. Not really. And I...I can’t take the chance. These last few years...prison is hell Lucky. I mean politicians might complain about prisoner’s getting a free ride with cable TV and all that fluff, but that’s not what it was like for me. That’s not maximum security.” She looked up at the sky, closed her eyes, and bent her head downwards again. “What they do to you in prison...what they make you do. It’s like you’re not human anymore. Prison isn’t about being innocent or guilty. It’s about survival. Making sure that you do what you have to do, say what you have to say, whatever it takes to make it through till the next day. Then when you wake up the next day to the same walls and the same floor and the same everything that you had to face the day before, you start to wonder why it’s so important to make it through until the next day.” She stiffened when his hand came across her shoulder but she didn’t move away.

“I can’t live like that for the rest of my life. I can’t endure that knowing there is no way out. I won’t make it. I’m not that strong.” She took a deep breath. “Alexis is arranging a deal. Instead of life in prison, I’ll be sentenced to fifteen years. I’ve already served five. That means ten more years. Maybe seven if I make parole. I can do that.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

“I’ve had to do a lot of things I shouldn’t have to.” Emily whispered quietly.

“Then let Alexis fight for you. She’s the best and if anyone can get you off....”

“Funny, that’s what Nikolas said five years ago.” Emily drew in a harsh breath. “It’s okay Lucky. It’s better this way. No trial for my family to have to endure. No uncertainty. And I go back knowing that I’m going to be out someday and I can live with that.”

“I can’t.” Lucky said firmly.

“Then it’s a good thing it’s not your decision.”

“You’re not a quitter Emily. You’re not.”

“I’m not quitting, I’m playing it smart.”

“By rolling over and playing dead.”

Emily stood up again and walked a few feet away. Her eyes focused on a bright yellow rose just about to bloom and she touched its petals gently even as she inhaled its fragrance. This was what she had missed the most in prison. Fresh air. Touching something that wasn’t concrete or steel. “Lucky I’m doing the best thing for everybody. None of us need to go through a trial again. Not my family. Not you. Not Liz’s family. Not Nika....” She stopped herself abruptly. “It’s just better this way.

“This is about Nikolas isn’t it? What I said about staying away from Nikolas the other night....Emily I was drunk and I said a hell of a lot of things that I shouldn’t have.” Emily bit her lip and turned to face Lucky, promising herself that she wasn’t going to break down. Not here. Not in front of him. If prison had taught her one thing, it was how to control her feelings.

“I saw him in the park with his ..... family.”

“Emily.” He moved to step closer to her and then stopped, his arms dropping to his side. Unsure of what he could say to make things better.

“He looked great you know. And the way he played with his daughter.” She took a deep breath. “I always knew he’d be a great father.” She forced herself to smile. “His wife seemed nice.”

“She isn’t you.” Lucky whispered. And Nikolas knows it. He doesn’t love her like he loved you. But Lucky didn’t say the last out loud, knowing as well as Emily did that Nikolas was committed to his family.

“It’s what I wanted for him, you know. It’s what made it bearable sometimes, knowing that Nikolas was living his life and not waiting for some kind of miracle that wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t want Nikolas to be in prison too, you know. I knew, as soon as the first appeal was denied, I knew I had to let him go. And I’m not sorry. I’m not at all sorry because I know that he’s happy it’s just....”

“ That you still love him.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I know how to feel anything anymore and I like it like that. Prison isn’t the place for feelings and you do better if you don’t have any.” Or convince yourself you don’t. “I just looked at him in the park with his family and I thought that’s my life. That should have been me he was kissing. That should have been my child he was playing in the sand with. I can’t handle this Lucky. I can’t go through another trial. I can’t let myself start to hope and then have it all be for nothing.....”

“Emily don’t do this. Don’t let Alexis plea bargain for you.” Lucky grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face him. “For my sake don’t do this.”

Her laugh was bitter. “Why Lucky? Why should I do anything for you?”

“Because you and I have been a part of each other’s lives, a part of each other, since you walked into Kelly’s when you first arrived in Port Charles. I looked at you that day and I knew you were in pain and I knew that I would do anything to make that pain go away for you. All of these years and that feeling hasn’t gone away, it hasn’t diminished. You have always been and always will be my friend Emily. My best friend. What I’ve done to you, what I’ve let happen to you, I can’t forgive myself for unless you give me the chance to make it right.”

“This isn’t about you.”

“No it’s about you. It’s about you getting back the life that was taken from you. And make no mistake about it Emily Quartermaine. The person who took Elizabeth’s life, took yours too. They took the future you deserved to have away from you. Let me help you get it back. Let me make this right.”

Emily blinked back the tears. “You really believe that I’m innocent don’t you?”

“I know that you’re innocent.” He wiped a stray tear off her cheek. “I’m just sorry I didn’t know it then.”

She took a step back away from him. “Thank you for that. For believing in me. It means a lot.” Her smile was sad as she shook her head. “But it doesn’t change a thing.” The words drifted across the rose garden as she turned and walked away. Lucky, not knowing what else to do, watched her walk away.

Maxie stifled a yawn as she walked slowly along Port Charle’s main street, uniform on, gun in holster, etc. She was walking a beat. She almost smiled at that thought. Her father, or at least the only father she bothered to count these days, would probably tell her to stop whining and that rookies, even talented rookies, had to start someplace.

Truthfully she didn’t mind. Walking a beat, especially in a quiet neighborhood like this, allowed her a chance to think. She’d spent most of the night poring through the evidence files she’d managed to copy on the Webber murder. Something didn’t add up but she couldn’t figure out what that something was. But she had to. She had to find something that would prove Emily Quartermaine’s innocence for Lucky’s sake. She owed her erstwhile stepbrother too much to let him down now. And Emily.... Maxie had once idolized Emily Quartermaine. She’d even pinned up some pictures of the teen model on her wall. Her friendship with the older girl, however slight it had been, had been something to brag about to her classmates. She couldn’t imagine what it had been like for Emily to be put on trial for murder and then convicted and sent to prison. It had to be worse than having Luke Spencer for a stepfather. At least she didn’t have to deal with Luke on a daily basis.

She stopped outside the travel agency, her gaze caught by one of the posters in front of her. The scene on the beach was like that in the background of the pictures that Felicia had sent her from wherever it was they were at the moment. Wherever it was that they, Luke, Felicia, and Georgie, were a family at the moment. Without her. Which was okay, really. Or at least okay most of the time. She didn’t want to be there. She wanted to be here with Mac arguing about the merits of college vs the force and deciding that she could do both if she was willing to give up her nonexistent social life. She wanted a home. Not a location of the month. She didn’t miss her mother, not really. She missed the mother she remembered Felicia being before she had started putting Luke Spencer ahead of Maxie and Georgie. She missed that Felicia. She didn’t miss the one who was smiling in those pictures that were shoved into the bottom of a dresser drawer.

“Planning a vacation, officer?”

She frowned at the familiar smirk and turned to find herself glaring into dark eyes. “What do you want Smith?”

Zander Smith grinned as he smiled at the rookie cop. “Join me for dinner tonight at the Port Charles Grill and I’ll let you know in detail what I want.”

Maxie rolled her eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you know before it penetrates your thick skull. I’m not interested Smith.”

“My sources say otherwise, officer. My sources say you spend every evening pining away by the telephone waiting for me to call.”

Maxie glared at the journalist. “You’re sources are, as usual, wrong.” She turned and started to walk away.

“My sources also tell me that you’ve been digging around the Elizabeth Webber murder.”

Maxie stopped. “How?.... Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

“So it’s true, you are interested in that old case.”

“It’s not an old case. It’s made the front page of your paper a few times in the last few weeks since the conviction was overturned.”

“I wouldn’t know, if it doesn’t have my byline by the article I don’t bother reading it.”

“God you have to be the most egotistical person I know.”

“I prefer to think of it as having a strong sense of self.”

“Whatever. Just tell me why you’re interested in the Webber case?”

“Who said I was?” Zander began and then stopped. “Okay, you piqued my interest especially when I heard that you asked our morgue to send you everything they had on the first trial. I started looking into it and asking a few questions of my own....”

“And....”

“ The original trial was before my arrival in our fair city, but there doesn’t seem to be anybody who doubts Quartermaine’s guilt. In fact a lot of people at the DA’s office are pissed that the conviction was overturned and they seem determined to throw the book at her in the second trial. Our beloved DA Jenson especially.” He frowned for a moment. “I would have thought considering the fact that your so called stepbrother was engaged to the victim you would have wanted Quartermaine behind bars as much as anyone.”

“Lucky doesn’t think she’s guilty.”

“And the alcoholic is such an impeccable judge of character...” Zander muttered under his breath, wondering yet again how someone as smart and on the ball as Maxie could put up with a brother, even a stepbrother, like that. She should have been disgusted with his constant drinking and instead she almost hero worshipped him. Or was there something more.... He looked up, realizing that she had asked him a question.

“I asked if you had found something.”

“Actually I did. I took the liberty of reading the articles from the morgue and then telling the clerk I’d drop them off at headquarters for you. As I read them, I realized that there was something very odd going on.....”

Maxie waited. And waited. “Well, aren’t you going to tell me?”

Zander nodded. “Yes.”

Maxie waited a few more minutes. “All right, I’ll bite. When were you planning on telling me?”

“Over dinner tonight at the Port Charles Grill.”

And Zander’s laugh was only slightly louder than Maxie's groan.....