Chapter Sixty - Admission of truths in the shadow of fears
 
 

          **10:29 AM**

"Mrs. Abbot, Mrs. Abbot, can you hear me?"
Sharon sighed, she has been looking for Nikki everywhere and nothing.
She walked around in Catherine’s huge estate, searching all of the rooms...she was beginning to wonder if Nicholas’s mother was still here... "I wouldn’t" She thought to herself, remembering the ugly scene she witness downstairs.

She called out for Nikki again, but this time, there was a reply

"Sharon, is that you?"
"Nick?"
"Sharon, where are you?"
"In here!"

Sharon smiled when Nicholas appeared from around the corner, commenting "There you are, this place is like a maze!"

Sharon said worriedly "I couldn’t find your mother anywhere?"
Nicholas looked worried "She’s been gone for a long time...Lets split and try to find her, I’ll search in this level, and you go up to the next floor"
Sharon nodded "Okay"
He kissed her on the cheek "Thanks baby"

They both went to look for Nikki.
 
 

 
 

   **10:15 AM**

An upset Victoria walked away from her family, and was about to reach for yet another glass of Champaign when a hand stopped her, Ryan.
"Maybe you shouldn’t drink anymore, Vicky" He said
Victoria snapped at him "Why, do I look drunk to you?"
Ryan shook his head "No, but the excessive drinking is making you talk without even think, humor me and put that glass down"
Victoria muttered, putting down the glass "Why do you even care, you’re not my husband anymore"
Ryan said "No, I’m not, I’m you’re friend - are you okay?"
Victoria said, tears beginning to well up in her eyes "No, do you realize I’m being blamed for this whole mess?"
Ryan tried to calm her down "No one is blaming you, Victoria"
Victoria said "Catherine does"
Ryan sighed "Catherine is hardly blaming you, she’s just mad right now"
Victoria crossed her hands on her chest "Yea, she should be angry -  at Brad"
Ryan tried to convince her "I’m sure that she does, she was just trying to defuse everything, you gotta admit that things got pretty violent between your father and Brad, I know both of them - had it went on much longer they could have killed each other"
Victoria sighed "It was a long time coming, but there is something much deeper going on, and it seems that everyone knows -but no one really knows - you know what I mean?"
Ryan smiled "No...but that’s okay"
Victoria smiled at him, feeling much better "How do you do it? Make me feel like I’m not insane, a spoiled child, or a little brat?"
Ryan grinned at her "Because I never did saw you as a child, not even when you were 16.. and I know that it hurts you to see your parents fight"
Victoria cried out "I have no idea what it is all about, and they’ve been getting along SO well lately"
Ryan nodded "Yes, I know...I remember the day after their car accident, they didn’t look like they were fighting... but Victoria, you know your parents, things can change in a moment for them"
Victoria shook her head sadly "Yea, I know... especially if mom is seeing Brad again"
Ryan shook his head "I don’t know, I was standing next to them on the dance floor, and I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but your mother didn’t look exactly happy. I don’t want to say something that isn’t true, but it looked like she was suffering from any moment she had to spend with the guy"
Victoria was completely confused "Than why did she dance with him?"

She shook her head, not understanding "What is going on with her?"
 

       **10:20 AM**

Nikki was sitting on floor in the third floor in one of the halls of Catherine’s house, her head buried on her knees, her breathing ragged with tears.
She felt so helpless, and felt as if her life are spinning fast out of her control.
Watching Brad and Victor fight was terrible, it scared her to see the depth of their hatred, to the point they didn’t even hear her asking them to stop, it made her scared, and it made her mad - she hated being fought over like some piece of property!
She was long past the stage where she felt flattered that men fought over her.
Being caught between Jack and Victor four years ago was one of the hardest experiences in her life, and now she was going through it all over again.

What Brad said to Victoria was just an excuse for Victor to start the fight, Nikki knew that she was the real reason.
Whatever possessed her to put that specific pair of earrings tonight? She had hundreds of earrings!

She moaned, recalling Victor’s face when he saw her wearing them, and his expression after Brad kissed her... Like he wouldn’t ever want to speak to her again, like everything between them was over! He couldn’t possibly think she was still involved with Brad!

A little voice in her head told her that what her behavior tonight was confusing enough for Victor to begin having doubts about her feelings for him, she was refusing to talk to him all evening - and she remembered the hurt on his face when he practically begged her to talk to him.

But that voice was pushed aside by the thought of Hope - how dare Victor judge her - he had no problems telling *Hope* he missed her!

How did everything got so complicated all of a sudden? Just this morning, everything was so simple and now she was pregnant with a baby and didn’t know who the father was, Victor was confused and hurt, the perfect evening she has planned was totally ruined, and she sitting on the floor in Catherine’s house, crying her eyes out.

Leaning the back of her head against the wall, Nikki was beginning to wonder if to keep the truth from Victor was the biggest mistake she ever made... maybe to confront him about Hope, to tell him about her pregnancy would have been better.
She hated to shut Victor out this way -  but she feared telling about her pregnancy so much -  knowing that if the baby is indeed Brad’s the potential for total devastation of their relationship is much greater.

And then there was Brad, she was getting so fed up with his constant pursuit of her, she thought she had made her feelings, of lack there of clear - apparently not.

Was the only way to make Brad realize she did not want him is to tell him she was in love with Victor? She didn’t want him going on thinking they still have a chance together - and he would go on thinking that because she isn’t involved with anyone else.
She was beginning to wonder if that is the only way to make him see the truth. Or would that just make him more determinate to get her back?
But - if things did not work out between her and Victor - she didn’t want anyone to know they were thinking of reuniting, and she couldn’t trust Brad to keep quiet.

The hatred between him and Victoria was so intense - he was capable of telling her just to break her heart - it was a risk Nikki simply could not take.

Nikki felt like she didn’t know anything anymore, she tried to recall how happy she felt in the morning, how excited, how much she looked forward to the future.
But when she looked back she could barely recall that joy, all she could feel was the pain, and anger and confusion of the present.

Feeling herself drowsy and puffy eyed, she decided to go into the bathroom and splash some water on her face.
She held on to the wall and stood up, but was overcome but a sudden wave of terrible dizziness "Oh... Oh god..."
She gasped as she closed her eyes and tried to sustain her balance... but it wasn’t helping...
Dizzy and unstable, she slowly descended down the stairs to the second floor.

She almost collided into Sharon, who blurted a sigh of relief "There you are! I’ve been looking for you forever"
Nikki could barely see her, she was seeing big spots of black in front and her vision become blurry.
She whispered to Sharon "Sharon, could you help me downstairs please?"
Sharon looked at her, concerned "Are you okay?"
Nikki, fighting the dizziness and waves of nausea moaned "No...No, I don’t know what’s happening...I don’t feel well all of a sudden" She voice faltered as she leaned against the wall, closing her eyes.
Sharon, worried, called out "Nicholas, Nicholas, come quick!!!"
Nicholas appeared "Mom, There you are!" He suddenly noticed the sudden pallor on his mother’s face and asked her "Mom, what’s wrong?"
Sharon shook her head at him, she didn’t have a clue what was happening with her.

The moment Nicholas put his arm around his mother’s waist, wanting to help her sit down, Nikki couldn’t fight the dizziness anymore.
As her the world become gray, blurry and spinning... The voices of Nicholas and Sharon sounded as if they were coming from so far away...
Without a word of warning, she collapsed into Nicholas’s arms.

Nicholas panicked "Mom, oh my god, Mom!!"
He eased her onto the floor, bent down on one knee next to her and tried to shake her so she would wake up "Mom? Mom, please wake up, mom what’s wrong?"
Sharon stopped him angrily "Don’t shake her, you don’t know what’s wrong with her!"
A hysterical Nicholas looked at her "What to do, then?"
Sharon said decisively "I took first air course in high school, Take her some place she could lie down, and put her legs up,  The second floor! There’s a big sofa there!"
Nicholas nodded frantically and said "Go find my dad!"
Sharon looked at him, unsure "Oh Nick, are you sure?"
Nicholas nodded "Yea, Yea... just go!"

Sharon ran down the stairs...

Nicholas then picked Nikki up and carefully carried her down the stairs, and lied her down on the big, red velvety sofa.
He propped her legs up on the rail of the sofa, and caressed her face, begging his mother to wake up.
He was frightened by how pale and fragile she looked, she was obviously breathing, but was still unresponsive to him calling out for her.
He kneeled next to her on the floor, feeling very helpless, wishing someone, anyone - would show up.
 

 

 **10:27 AM**

Sharon raced down the stairs, nearly tripping on her new high-heeled shoes… She stopped at the end of the stairs and scanned the room, it was filled with people, and she couldn’t see Victor anywhere, she hoped he didn’t leave.

And then she saw Victoria talking to Ryan about something in the far end of the room, she ran to her and called out "Oh, Victoria… thank god I found you".

Brad was standing near the bar, holding and icepack to his nose.
When he saw Sharon running toward Victoria, he drew closer to hear what they were talking about.

Victoria asked her, wearing a frown "Sharon, what’s wrong?"
Sharon said breathlessly "Well, don’t panic, but your mother passed out"
Victoria said in shock "What?!"
Sharon, explained "I went up to look for her and she was coming toward me in the stairs and she looked awful, she said she wasn’t feeling well, and then she just…" She shrugged helplessly.
Ryan, putting a hand on Victoria’s shoulder, asked Sharon "But she’s okay now, isn’t she?"
Sharon shrugged "I’m not sure, she seemed okay, but she was still out of it when I went looking for your father, do you know where he is?"
Victoria said, frightened "I don’t know, I haven’t seen him!  Sharon, please tell me someone is with her?"
Sharon nodded "Yea, Nicholas. She’s on the second floor…" She looked around "I just wish I knew where your dad is"
Ryan interfered "I think I saw him outside on the porch, talking to Jack"
Victoria, worried, asked of Sharon "Go and find him will you? I want to go and see if mom is alright"
Sharon nodded and said gently, "Yes Of course, go."

Victoria quickly left the room and went up the stairs, Ryan accompanying her.

Unseen by either of them, Brad followed Victoria upstairs.
 

Sharon crossed the room and opened the door to the porch.
The door opened with a bang and Victor and Jack quickly turned to her.

Seeing the expression on her face, Victor realized something was wrong "Sharon, what is it?"
Sharon, her expression serious "It’s Mrs. Abbott, I think you need to come now!"
Jack blinked "Wait a second, Which…which Mrs. Abbot? Are you talking about Nikki or my wife?"
Sharon waved her hand impatiently "Nikki! She passed out!"
Victor stared at her, extremely worried "What are you talking about?"
Sharon explained frantically "I don’t know what happened! I went to look for her like you asked of me, and when I found her she wasn’t feeling well, got very dizzy and fainted… Nicholas was with me and he asked me to find you"
Victor asked Sharon, very concerned "Did you manage to wake her up?"
Sharon shook her head "Not when I left"
Jack said quickly "I’ll go find Olivia"
Victor didn’t waste another second before running back inside the house and raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time.
 

Victoria, along with Ryan, ran down the halls of the second floor.

She found Nicholas sitting on the floor next to the couch where her mother was lying on, still unconscious.
Victoria put her hand over her mouth "What happened?!!"
Nicholas shook his head, looking at his mother "I don’t know, I don’t know, she just collapsed…"
Victoria kneeled next to her mother and put a hand on her forehead and whispered "Mom, mom, wake up… mom, please…"

And then, finally…Nikki’s eyes moved, and she moaned softly, stirring on the couch.
Both Nicholas and Victoria let out a sigh of relief and Nicholas said, "I think she’s waking up… where’s Dad?"
Victoria sat down on the edge of the couch and said, "Sharon is still looking for him"

Suddenly she looked up to see Brad approaching them, looking at Nikki in concern.
She snapped at him "What are you doing here?"
Brad said angrily "I’m concerned about your mother as you are!"
Victoria retorted, rising to confront him "If you cared for her, even slightly, you wouldn’t be here, upsetting her further!"
Nicholas stood up and pulled Victoria back and said, sending a warning look toward Brad "Victoria, *ignore* him"

At that moment, Victor showed up at the top of the stairs, looking extremely concerned.
Sharon arrived shortly after him.

He gasped when he saw her, and all of the residual anger that he still felt faded instantly when he saw her lying on the couch, black lashes closing in on pale cheeks, apparently still out of it.

He hurried toward them, past Brad, not even awarding him with a glance.
Victoria said, seeing how worried and upset he is "Dad, I think She’s beginning to wake up"
Victor gestured Victoria to move aside, Victoria complied and Victor carefully knelt down next to Nikki.
He rested his palm on her forehead, feeling it to be clammy, but not warm.
Nikki moved a little, and mumbled something he couldn’t understand, but didn’t open her eyes…
Victor gently called out for her "Nikki? Sweetheart, you want to wake now?"
Victoria and Nicholas, over Victor’s head, exchanged looks.

Brad also looked on, but dare not interfere.

Victor asked Nicholas, not taking his eyes of Nikki "How long ago did she pass out?"
Nicholas shook his head "Two minutes, maybe a little more…"
Victor caressed her cheek and asked Nicholas "Did she hit her head when she fell?"
Nicholas said quickly "No, no… I caught her"
Victor moved his fingertips on her cheeks, feelings the tings of remorse when he found her cheeks still moist from tears….

A Cold, wrenching dread filled his heart, is it possible that something else entirely is going on here?
Was Nikki ill and keeping it from him? She pushed him away for the entire night, and looked tortured as if she was hiding something from him… and now her fainting… the more he thought about it, the more sense it made to him.

He called out for her again "Nikki…"

At long last, Nikki moaned and her eyes fluttered open, her look focused and she whispered "Victor?"
Victor breath out a sigh of relief and said, smiling to her, still caressing her cheek "Yea…It’s me"
Nikki blinked her lips, her mouth felt numb and dry and her head pounded like it was going to explode.
She asked in a hoarse whisper "What happened?"
Nicholas asked her "Don’t you remember mom? You fainted"
Nikki asked him, looking confused "I did?"
Victoria told her emotionally, but with a smile "Yes, it’s high time you woke up, you’re missing half the party"
Feeling funny lying on the couch with everyone watching, Nikki lowered her legs off the edge of the couch and attempted to sit up.
Victor stopped her, holding her down "No, No… don’t sit up, not just yet…you passed out and were out of it for a few minutes – don’t rush it, I don’t want you to get dizzy again"
Nikki shook her head, slowly returning back to herself "No… no, I want to"
Victor reluctantly removed his hand and Nikki slowly straightened on the sofa.
Another wave of dizziness hit her, she closed her eyes "Oh, wow…" She took a few deep breathes, Her eyes closed, trying to overcome the dizziness and nausea.
"Here" Brad, eager to make himself useful, handed her a glass of water.
Nikki took the glass from him and drank its contents in one sip, trying to get the bitter taste away from her mouth.

Now that she felt better, she knew exactly what had happened to her.
She had fainted once or twice when she was carrying Nicholas, and it was exactly the same sort of feeling…. She also recalled a time with Victoria as well, early in the pregnancy…
But it was always at home, and she always managed to sit down before the world blacked out on her completely…

She felt embarrassed to have fainted out that way, and was just grateful it didn’t happen while she was downstairs…There was enough excitement for one night already.

She then raised her eyes to look at everyone around her.
Her concerned children, Sharon and Ryan who stood removed from the scene, Brad  - who looked like he had broken his nose, and Victor that sat on the edge of the couch, close to her.
He was sitting so close, she could sense the warmth of his body.

Half of the nerves in her body screamed for her to run, while the other half longed for him to touch her like before, when he caressed her cheek.
It felt so good to have him touch her, worry about her, comfort her, not look at her with that awful betrayed look in his eyes, but with love and concern... it felt so good she wanted to get into his embrace and never let go.
Victor and Nikki looked at each other, each trying to read the other’s thoughts.

Victoria nudged Nicholas. This time he did not get irritated with her, he saw that look too, and the deep yearning in his parents’ eyes.

Nicholas and Victoria were not the only people noticing the bond and the connection between Victor and Nikki. Brad noticed it as well.
As much as he tried to ignore that, he couldn’t help but seeing the emotions in Nikki’s eyes when she looked at Victor.
He was beginning to feel very unneeded and unwanted, the affects of the alcohol were still strong, he was feeling very unfocused and out of control. His nose hurt like hell, and despite knowing in his heart that him and Nikki belong together, he realized she might not be able to see that right now.
 "Yes" He thought, "Maybe the best thing would be just to go…give her some space and start fresh another day"
But he wasn’t going to leave without goodbye.
He stepped closer to the couch "How are you feeling?" He asked her.

Victor turned and scowled at Brad, the urge to throw him from all the stairs renewed.
Nikki’s eyes moved from Victor to Brad, reminded of everything that happened that day, and in the moments before she passed out.

The pregnancy, the conversation she overheard with Hope that made all of her old insecurities come up again.
Trying to avoid both men all evening, Victor’s anger and confusion, his reaction to the kiss with Brad, the fight she couldn’t stop no matter how hard she tried…
It all came back to her in big flood of emotions, she looked from him to Brad and still felt angry at both of them… they both looked a mess, and it was all so pointless.

Nikki pulled away from Victor a little bit and replied curtly, but with a clear note of weariness in her voice "Fine, just want to go home"

She still had a secret to protect, and the best way to do it now is to just go home and get some sleep.
Nikki was wondering if maybe fainting was a blessing in disguise. She felt much better, and it would give her some time and some peace till tomorrow morning, and by then she could go to see doctor Lasky and maybe get some answers about who is the father of her baby.
And maybe then she could decide when she goes from here.

Brad told her, acting as if nothing was wrong "Okay, well… I’m going to go home myself, unless there’s something you need from me" He said, a clear note of hopefulness in his voice.

Victoria couldn’t help herself and said, rolling her eyes "She said she’s fine, would you just GO?"
Brad glared at Victoria, but chose to ignore her this time, he looked at Nikki and said "I’ll be in touch"

And then he left.

Nikki didn’t even have the emotional strength to say anything, she didn’t even raise her eyes to look at Brad or Victoria, and the almost apathetic look in her eyes worried Victor even more than her fainting did, he was getting seriously worried about her.

Nicholas looked at his mother and said "Mom, you want a ride home?"
Nikki snapped out of her mood and was about to reply yes but then Victor interfered  "No, not just yet, Jack went to find Olivia, I want her to check you out before you go"
Nikki was rattled, the last thing she wanted is a doctor asking a lot of questions "Victor that’s not necessary, I feel much better"

Victor was about to argue with her, when a breathless Jack stormed up the stairs "I couldn’t find Olivia, she already went home…and there doesn’t seem to be any other doctor in the crowd"
He stopped when saw Nikki was sitting "Hey, you don’t look so bad"
Nikki frowned,  "Another doctor? Did you tell anyone I fainted, Jack?" Her voice rose alarmingly.
Jack replied, not understanding her reaction "Hey, calm down, I just told Catherine, I don’t know a lot of the people here so I asked her if there was another doctor in the house. When she asked why I told her you passed out, She said she would be right up"
Nikki groaned "Oh, that’s just *great*"

It was getting to be too complicated, If there is one person that might figure it out, Catherine was that person. She was like a mother to her, and was very involved in all of her pregnancies… she couldn’t risk her finding out, not now.

Victor looked at her, confused "Sweetheart, why don’t you want Catherine to know about it?"
Nikki shook her head angrily, feeling the beginning of tears rising "Because I don’t want her worrying!"
Victor wasn’t about to let up, not at this point.

He was convinced there was something terribly wrong with her she was hiding from him.
He raised his voice "You know what? She is going to be worried! I’m worried, we’re all worried, and your reaction to this whole thing and just confirms my suspicions!"
Nikki, feeling more and more trapped, asked angrily "Oh, and what suspicious would those me, Victor?"
Victor said passionately "That there’s something you’re keeping from me! Something you just found out that you’re not telling me for some reason"
Nikki shook her head from side to side, not looking at him, upset, why was he pushing her like that? She didn’t want to tell him, not now, like this.
Nikki bite her lip, "You don’t know what you’re talking about"
Victor asked her in obvious disbelief "Oh don’t I?"
Nikki, eyes filled with tears, retorted "No, you don’t!" She turned her head away from him.
Victor raised her chin so she would look at him "Then why are you crying, if there’s nothing wrong?"
Nikki pushed his hand away "Because I don’t want to answer your questions and you just keep pushing and pushing!!" She tried to stop the tears, it was just making him worry more, but she couldn’t help it., there was a lump in her throat she had a harm time repressing.
Victor said softly "I’m worried about you, and I want to take you to the hospital"
Nikki stared at him. That was even worse "No!!"
Jack, agreeing with Victor for a change, said "Nik, he’s right, you should go and at least have someone check you over"
Nikki snapped at Jack "Jack, you stay out of this, I have enough problems with you interfering!"
Jack sighed, he had a feeling they won’t be able to convince her to do anything.

Turning to Victor, Nikki cried out helplessly "What is going to take for me to get through to you?! There’s nothing wrong with me, I hate hospitals and I’m not going go there in the middle of the night, just because of some silly dizzy spell"

Nicholas, exchanging looks with Victoria, also tried to also convince her "Mom, you didn’t just get dizzy, if I wasn’t there to catch you might have hit your head…" He continued "Humor us and go, what’s the harm in that?"
Nikki just shook her head no… she couldn’t explain him why.

Victor, frustrated, said  "Darling, you’ve passed out, you don’t look well and haven’t been acting yourself this entire evening, you’ve been quiet and withdrawn and upset, there has got to be a reason for this!"

Nikki turned her head defiantly away from him, Victor moved over and knelt in front of her, grabbing her hands, not letting her a chance to escape him.
He said quietly but firmly "There was only one time that I can think of, when you pushed me away like that, for no apparent reason. And that was when you hurt your back and wouldn’t tell me about it! Your behavior now is oddly similar!"

Nikki stood up, and sighed with growing frustration "Victor, it’s nothing like it, you’re not even close!" She turned to walk away from him and said in a choked voice "I don’t want to stay here anymore, I’m going home!"

Victor had had enough of this, He didn’t care at that point that their children was there, that he wasn’t suppose to give them any hints of what went on between them up till today…
He rose quickly and grabbed her by the shoulders, spun her around to face him "I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you walk away from me!"…

Just at that second, Nicholas looked toward his sister, wondering if she was seeing and thinking what he was.
Victoria did not look back at him, she was totally focused in what was going on between her parents, that little power struggle, and the feelings that stood behind it. And then it all suddenly dawned to her…

Nikki looked up at Victor, tears streaming down her face.
He cupped her face with his hands and said in a voice that was filled with love and worry  "If you’re sick, whatever it is that’s going on with you, just tell me and I promise it would be alright…"

Nikki cracked, it was too much, and she couldn’t lie to him anymore, she sobbed "I’m not sick! I’m pregnant!"