Chapter Sixteen - No Holiday cheer

At the office, Brad picked up the phone and called the ranch's number.

Nikki answered it "Hello"

Brad said "Nikki, it's me...."

Nikki was surprised "Brad!"

Nikki answered, rather coldly "I'm fine, thank you"

Brad sighed and said "I know you're angry at me"

Nikki said, nearly seething "You shouldn't have told Victor anything"

Brad said "I felt like I should, I was tired of that secret"

Nikki said "Well, things would be a lot easier on me if you hadn't told him"

Brad said "If I over stepped, I'm sorry, I just felt he was coming between us" Nikki said nothing...

Brad said "I just wanted to wish you merry Christmas, and tell you that I'm not giving you up, Nikki, you're too important to me, I love you and I want you, and I'm going to make you realize that you feel the same..."

Nikki started saying something "Bradley, I'm..."

He cut her off "Don't say anything, just think about what I said....Good day Nikki"

He hung up, Leaving Nikki confused and thoughtful....
 
 

Victor was sitting at his apartment on his couch, he just came from seeing the Lawyers, again., they pretty much told him that until Amy remembers and supply new evidence there isn't much of a chance for a re trail or a successful appeal, he sighed, there was progress there, but a very small one.

He turned the radio, hoping for a blissful distraction, something cold and impersonal, like the stock market.

But all he was hearing was cheerful Christmas Carols, that did not sit well with his mood, he turned the radio off with a bang, it had been years since the thought of Christmas felt so unappealing.
He walked to the window and gazed outside, deep in thoughts.

He almost never celebrated Christmas before meeting Nikki, The holidays are not much fun when you live in a cold orphanage with no gifts.

Only later, after he had family of his own he learnt to appreciate the spirit of Christmas.

At that moment, he regretted about all those Christmases he didn't spend with Nicholas as a small child, what he wouldn't give to have his son back home, where be belongs, for them all to celebrate Christmas together.

He looked out the window, it was raining again...obviously.

He wanted to call Nikki and talk about the holiday ahead, but he was reluctant to do that, He had a hard time reading her on the phone,"I got your flowers, they were beautiful" and "It’s just the way it is right now".

She was definitely sending him mixed messages, he wasn't used to that, he could usually read her well.
But if she was half confused about everything as he was...
He didn't want to push her, he didn't want to upset her even further by bringing up Christmas, he knew how much the thought of Christmas without her son must have hurt her.

Everything seemed to get more complicated as time passed, and the things he and Nikki had to overcome just seemed to get worst instead of better, some of them can wait, some, like the holidays, has got to be resolved, he took his coat and walked out

Nikki came back into the ranch, rubbing her hands together, she was so cold, it was freezing out there, but nevertheless, she enjoyed the ride, as always.

She didn't know how she's going to live through Christmas, with her son in jail.

She kept trying to visit him he never let her see him, it only made her feel more lonely, especially after she learnt he talked to Sharon, and met with Victor, it had been over a week already and she felt like she was dying inside without her son.

Through the years he was the one constant thing in her life, they always saw eye to eye about everything, in character he was more more easy and relaxed than Victoria, who had a temper even as a child.

She knew Victoria saw her as a person, with faults and good sides, they have been through a lot as mother and daughter in the past few years, and that improved their relationship greatly - they appreciated each other and women and and as mother and daughter, her daughter knew her well.

But she still enjoyed the way Nicholas still looked at her as his perfect mommy.

she remembered the day she came to pick him up from kinder garden when he was about five, and he was still playing with this little girl and she watched him for a few moments as he played, and when he noticed her he ran to her and introduced him to his friend with the enthusiasm of a child as his  "Wonderful, beautiful mommy" and in his eyes, she always stayed that way.

She didn't know what to do, what would be best for her and for the rest of the family on Christmas, Even if she and Victor would manage to sit through the holiday together, and not let on on their feelings whatever that would be, she still hasn't managed to figure that out, she still wasn't sure that what he wanted.

Victor almost never celebrated Christmas before meeting her, and having the children, she knew it would just as depressing and upsetting to him.

And she couldn't imagine sitting at the table and trying to have a polite small talk with Victor, with Victoria sitting right there, not after what happened, the love making, the confusion, the fight, the uncertainties.

"How am I going to dig myself out of that one?" she thought.

At that moment, the doorbell rang and Nikki went to open it, she opened the door and Victor was there "Victor!" She called out as her heart leaped a couple of times at his sight, she have not seen him ever since they fought, and she missed him.

Victor asked quietly "May I come in?" She nodded quietly.

He looked at her, she looked as beautiful as ever but he could see the weariness in her eyes and her body movements, he asked tenderly "How are you?"

Nikki covered "I'm fine, considering"

She eyed him carefully, he didn't look very well, he had dark circles under his eyes and he just didn't  look like himself, she could tell that he was as upset as she was.

She asked "And you? you look like you haven't slept well"

Victor smiled "I'll survive"

Nikki said "I'm sure you will" she looked at him curiously, he was wearing his beige- white coat, the one she always liked "Were you out riding?"

Victor said "Yes, I was"
 

He looked at her riding clothes "Were you?"

Nikki nodded and smiled "I guess we missed each other"

Victor said "I should have noticed Sea-wind wasn't at the stables when I took Blue smoke out".

Nikki asked him "Did you talked to the vet. about Jupiter? he's still sick"

Victor nodded "He put him on Antibiotics, he would come back in two days to check up on him"

Nikki said worriedly "I hope he'll be okay, he's Victoria's favorite and she's upset enough"

There was a silence for a few moments and then Victor said "It's good to see you"

Nikki looked at him and smiled "It's good to see you too".

At the decision of the moment, Victor decided not to bring up the fight, she didn't seem to be as upset and he didn't want to dredge all of that up again so he said "Nicholas called me"

Nikki's eyes opened "When, Today?"

Victor nodded "He really had his heart set on everyone having Christmas together"

Nikki looked at him and said in a choked voice "He said that to you?"

Victor nodded "He actually called to ask us if we are, he spoke with Victoria and apparently she didn't
know what to tell him".

Nikki turned way from him and tried to wipe her tears away "I don't know if I can... Have Christmas without him here..."

Victor put his hands on her shoulders, she tensed up as she felt his hands on her.

Victor thought he was upsetting her so he pulled his hands away and said "I know how you feel, okay? but he was pleading with me, it means a lot to him... I told him it's up to you"

Nikki turned around and asked "What did he say?"

Victor said "He asked me to try to convince you"

Nikki said sadly "Oh," She continued "I thought... I thought he might have said that he would call".

Victor eyes her regretfully, he knew how hard it must have been on her, not to talk to Nicholas "I'm sorry"

Nikki shook her head "It's not your fault".

Victor decided to touch another subject "He also wanted us to invite Sharon"

Nikki's said, a bit angrily "That's just makes me thrilled"

Victor tried to reason with her "I know you don't resent her as much as you used to"

Nikki didn't protest anymore, she said "no, I guess I'm not... She really does seemed to care about Nicholas"

Victor said "She does".

He paused and asked her "So..?"

Nikki said helplessly "I don't know...."

She looked at him "There a lot of arguments against it".

Victor asked her "You mean us?"

Nikki sighed and said "There is a lot we need to discuss and... with Victoria sitting right there...she already knows something is up Victor, she is going to be watching us the entire night and I can't deal with the thought of confronting the issue with her..."

Victor asked "I know you're still upset"

Nikki shook her head "It's not that I'm still upset, it's just that..  whenever we get closer, whenever we make headway... something happen and it's back to square one all over again.
It's not just your fault, it's just as much mine but the thought of dealing with us, and Victoria, and Nicholas in jail and Sharon at the table in the front of the Christmas tree that no one chopped down yet and no one would want to decorate this year..."

Her voice broke down and she buried her face in her hands, Victor pulled her into his arms into a tight embrace , he brushed her hair away from her eyes and wiped her tears away from her cheeks with his thumbs, she couldn't help but let out a smile.

Victor looked at her questioningly and she explained, holding his hand out for him to see, there were mascara stains on it, she smiled at him as she caressed his fingers... wiping the stains...

She looked up and their gazes met, Nikki pulled back and tried to smile "I'll ruin your coat if I continue to weep all over you, it would be a shame" She straightened his collar "I've always loved that coat".

Victor looked at her, and he regretted again for fighting with her, otherwise she wouldn't be as distant as now, he knew she was fighting her feelings for him right now, just as he did before, it almost looked like there was no way to break the cycle.

He asked "So, what should I tell Nicholas if he calls again?"

Nikki said "I need to think about it, okay?"

Victor nodded but said "Just remember that Christmas is tomorrow"

Nikki said  "I just really wish Nicholas would call"

Victor said "I know, and he will".

He looked at his watch and said "hmmm... I have a meeting in town.. I think I better leave"

He sent a look toward Nikki "Unless you want me to stay"

Nikki did wanted him to stay, but said "No, no, it's okay, I'm alright, you can leave, I'm fine"

Victor almost wished she would ask him to stay, but just nodded, he approached her and kissed her on the cheek and walked toward the door sending  a look toward Nikki who smiled at him, in a weak attempt of bravery.

As he walked out the door her knees gave in and she sat on the couch, she really didn't know what do do about the holidays.... she was just so confused about Victor and everything else....
 
 

At a Jewelry shop in Genoa city Brad Carlton picked a pair beautiful diamond earrings, the sells lady told him "The woman you are buying this for has to be one special lady"

Brad nodded "She is, she's just a little upset with me right now"
The sells lady smiled "Well, I'm sure that with those earrings, she'll forgive you in no time"

Brad smiled to her "I hope so..." He thought to himself "I sure hope so...."