(Note: If each wrestler doesn't roleplay for their match, their match will not be written. If one wrestler roleplays and the other does not, the one that doesn't roleplay WILL GET JOBBED)
Card for Sunday, August 5, 2001
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, home of former President Pondababa and Kingsly
Arena: Winnipeg Arena
The Sinful Sunday Theme starts to get the crowd rowdy as the camera pans across the Winnipeg Arena. Old logo’s of the Winnipeg Jets appear in the roof as only the large signs appear from a distance. Some signs say:
{Rudolph is an alcoholic}
{I am Bridges college roommate}
(Let me in the System}
{Wal-mart fired me}
(From behind Rudolph appears and gently rubs Jimmy’s shoulders. He staggers into his seat smelling like beer and cigarettes as his face plants into the announcing table
Jimmy: Folks, it’s not a good idea to go onto a drinking binge the night before you work or else you’ll turn into a fat, ugly man like this disgusting ape beside me. We are going to start things off with an interview by our robotic former president, Pondababa.
Pondababa: Marco.
Marco: Polo.
Pondababa: Marco, seriously... How does it feel to have such a great responsibility and having constant nagging and harassing?
Marco: Harassment? We have a great group of athletes and I just wanted to display certain aspects of some wrestlers that haven’t been flaunted yet.
Pondababa: I see. People have taken a liking to a somewhat human CEO like yourself. How do you do it?
Marco: What is this an interview? I should be the one asking you questions. What have you’ve been doing in all your spare time, Pondababa?
Pondababa: I have been treated like a piece of property lately. I thought we live in the time of where all kinds, males, females, homosexuals, and robots were respected. Boy, was I wrong. It was unfortunate accident and I can’t change the past although I wish I could. Well, I heard Thrill Seekers talk about me. And I heard Hugh Jim Pact put me down. Well, I hope Hugh Jim Pact and the Thrill Seekers will remember, THAT I DIDN’T LIKE THEM ANYHOW! I don’t like being poked fun at by bullies. No one does. And that’s exactly what they are.
Marco: Hmph..
Pondababa: I am a “worker for the people”. I do what’s best for everyone. And at this point in time and for the rest of my life, it may just be best if I stayed out of situations like these. Nobody wants a robot for a president. The most disrespected person though has been former President Kingsly, the creative control of the Ultimate Wrestling Alliance. Here’s a guy who has depleted all of his energy on good cards and spending so much late nights for the people. And his success has gone sour because of a harmless angle for him to turn into a heel. There’s a fine line between reality and sports entertainment. I don’t think we crossed that line at all but other’s have. I must reconfigure the hard-drive I call my brain. But first…
Pondababa pushes a button that loads up the guy who says let’s get ready to rumble
Pondababa: LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Across Pondababa’s robotic face, the words slowly panel from left to right
NON TITLE MATCH
One Fall
"One Million Bolts" Dunn Harton vs David "The Wolverine" Cote
A sound of electricity hits the speakers system in the Winnipeg Arena as Dunn Harton slowly walks down the aisle as the crowd goes wild for the Heavyweight Champion of the UWA. Harton easily gets the crowd pumped with his one thousand volts flowing through his body.
Jimmy: Harton was victorious in the three way triple threat last week plowing through “Low Notch” Jerry Dean and through Taylor Bridges who will be fighting against a Bigger Show next.
The guitar of Song 2 by Blur begins to play as spotlights shine through the Winnipeg Arena. David Cote comes through the crowd as the Winnipegers pat him on the back. He arrives to the ring with a smile on his face.
Jimmy: Cote looks as if he’s a sculpted mound of clay. He’s been working out I see.
The two lock up in the center of the ring as Cote places Harton’s arm into a lock. Harton flips forward then flips back and he tosses Cote to the mat, immediately putting pressure on the arm. Patting his arm a few times in pain, Cote drops to one knee and he delivers a fireman’s carry to Dunn Harton. Harton lands on his back as Cote attempts to pick him up but Harton springs himself up and grasps Cote by the neck with his legs. Harton twirls once and Cote does a mixture of a sommersault and a cartwheel at the same time. Harton goes for the pin.
1…Kick out!
Harton continues his assault until he screams in pain after receiving a knife-edge chop to the chest. Cote winds his arm up again and crashes it into the chest of Dunn Harton. The fans ooo and aww as Cote finishes it off with one final knife-edge chop that crackles when it hits the chest of Harton.
Jimmy: There’s an energy drainer for ya.
Cote, on offense, launches Harton into the ropes and on the spring back plants him with a drop-kick to the open chest. Harton falls back three meters and is hit with an elbow drop. Cote quickly climbs the middle turnbuckle as Harton slowly gets up. The fans cheer as Cote goes for a flying cross body from the top rope but Harton reversed it with a drop kick to the chest. Cote falls back gagging for air. Harton pins Cote.
1…1/2… Kick Out!
Harton taps the mat in anger as Cote is guided up by his short brown hair. Harton releases his anger by slapping the bulletproof chest of David Cote. Cote falls into the turnbuckle as Harton reefs him to the top rope. Harton starts to get jiggy before he plants the head of Cote to the mat with a hurricarana. Again, Harton goes for the quick cover.
1…2 Kick Out.
Cote, sluggishly gets up and receives a twisting side kick to the throat from One Million Volts Dunn Harton.
Jimmy: STOKED! Harton’s signature move!
Cote slowly rolls to the ropes and he puts himself through the middle and top rope. Harton charges off one end of the ring and tries to jump onto Cote hanging him up to dry. But Cote moves out of the way just in time as Harton crashes into the ropes and flips backwards.
Cote takes advantage as throws Dunn Harton into the ropes. On the return, Cote slams Harton with a Samoan Drop.
The fans cheer as David Cote lifts up Dunn Harton placing him in the postion of a suplex. Cote hoists Harton high in the air and completes a textbook german suplex bridging himself upward for a pin.
1…2..1/4 Kick out.
Dunn Harton does a bridge of his own and he performs a school boy pin on Cote.
1…2...1/2 Kick out.
Catching Cote off guard, Dunn Harton almost had the match in the bag.
Jimmy: These two wrestlers have a bottomless pit of skills!
Harton is the first to get up as he launches Cote into the ropes. He waits for the perfect time to perform a standing drop-kick but Cote, cunningly grabs both feet of Dunn Harton and locks up his legs with a figure four leg lock…. Cote starts to apply the pressure until Harton swings his body the other way and locks in his patented inverted figure four leg lock.
Jimmy: Harton has just locked in the Attactor!
Cote gives up and the hold is released.
The scene fades as Dunn Harton’s hand is raised in the air with his UWA Heavyweight Championship
NON TITLE MATCH
”When the Levee Breaks” by Led Zepplin begins to play as Taylor Bridges cockily walks to the ring with a sweet pair of shades covering his eyes. The fans chant a$$hole as Bridges waves at the fans down the aisle-way.
Jimmy: They don’t like this guy truly because he is an Ivy League prick.
Bridges rolls into the ring as he stares at a sign in the front row it says {BLACK ATTACK}, and that’s just what we are going to see.
Jimmy: Rudy, what do you have to say about Bridges.
The fans excitement to see the big show back into action is put to an end.
Welllllllll, well it’s the BIG SHOW!
Deverot pushes the curtains aside and smiles at the Ivy League, Taylor Bridges. Bridges arrogantly looks the other way as Deverot raises his beefy arms in the air. Big Show’s pink t-shirt is filled with sweat and barbecue ribs stains as he steamrolls into the ring with his massive girth.
From behind Bridges blatantly double-ax handles Deverot in his over-sized shoulders. The fans go wild as Big Show turns around and swings his bear claw into the face Taylor Bridges. Bridges falls back two meters right onto his back.
Bryan Deverot: Is that all you got Ivy League?
The look on Bridges face is undescribible but it’s a mix between anger and cockiness. He pulls himself back up as Deverot unloads his jumbo fists of fury wiping the cocky face off the Taylor Bridges. Bridges retreats into the corner as Deverot attempts an Irish Whip into the opposite end of the ring. But, consequently, it’s Deverot’s colossal figure in the corner of the ring. Bridges charges at Deverot with an elbow with just as much speed as Deverot can eat McDonalds hamburger (fast).
Taylor Bridges: I hope Deverot you’ll remember that (singing)… we don’t need you around here, anyhow.
Taylor Bridges performs a nice string of moves including a t-bone suplex, a second-rope elbow drop and a headlock on the Tower of Power, Bryan Deverot. The headlock drains Bryan Deverot’s energy as he lies in the center of the ring like a bear that just got his by a car. The fans begin a chant…
Big Show, Big Show, Big Show…
Taylor Bridges tightly locks his grip as the Referee tests the consciousness of Bryan Deverot. He counts once… counts twice… on the third arm Deverot sucks up energy from his barbecue rib Gods as he hoists Taylor Bridges from the ground with a monster chokeslam.
Bryan Deverot: (Raising his arms in the air he shouts) THE FANS PICK ME UP WHEN I FEEL BLUE!!!
The fans go bananas with Deverot’s tremendous show of strength. But like Deverot is drained as he drops to the ground like a twenty-pound bag of potatoes… Taylor Bridges is the first to get up as he grabs Deverot by the ear and slaps him across the head like a paintbrush until he backs into the turnbuckle. Taylor Bridges starts up the engines with a repeating barrage of kicks to the mid-section. Deverot snaps as he grabs the head of Taylor Bridges and starts up his diesel engine with punches to the ears of Taylor Bridges. The fans go wild as Deverot picks up Taylor Bridges and like a battering ram, hits Taylor Bridges into the turnbuckle followed up by a spinning bodyslam (the Trenton Slam). Deverot goes for the cover.
1…3/4
Jimmy: After running up those mountains for so long, I guess this match must seem like a cakewalk for an endurance check.
Deverot prolongs his black attack with a spinning suplex, a brain buster and a haymaker. Bridges falls to the mat and Deverot is on him like a cheap suit. Deverot locks up Bridges into the bear hug position… Taylor Bridges with agility sneaks behind Deverot… and places Deverot into the position of a reverse DDT…
Jimmy: TIMBER!
Deverot does not fall though… and it’s Taylor Bridges who falls with a Deverot Driver (reverse DDT).
Jimmy: DEVEROT DRIVER!
Taylor Bridges is covered with a pin by Bryan Deverot.
1…2…3
Welllll…. Well it’s the Big Show!
The fans go wild as Deverot smiles at the crowd.
Down the aisle, comes a man dressed in yellow riding a donkey to the ring. It’s Hardcore Hogan. He pats the donkey on the back as he pulls off the bandana revealing his hair that looks similar to that of stringible cheese. Deverot smirks as Hardcore Hogan grabs a chair from the audience.
Hardcore Hogan: I’ll finish the job that old timer Kingsly couldn’t do.
Jimmy: Yeah, look who’s talking. You’re the old timer, Hardcore Hogan. Big Show, are you going to let him do that?
Deverot helps Taylor Bridges to his feet as Hardcore Hogan swings a steel chair into the face of Taylor Bridges.
Jimmy: This is UNFAIR. GET SOMEBODY TO HELP OUR FORMER HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Bridges hits the ground like a cannonball as Hardcore Hogan drags Taylor Bridges to the nearest turnbuckle.
Bryan Deverot: You will now feel the wrath of the Jabron.
Jimmy: The Jabron has and can kill a man. (yelling at Deverot) Deverot, do not go that far!
(Deverot slowly climbs the turnbuckle as Taylor Bridges corpse lays near the Tower of Power. Deverot raises his arms in the air…)
(Hardcore Hogan and Bryan Deverot regroup on the outside as Hogan grabs a steel chair from underneath the ring… Cote and Bridges are together as a unit in the center of the ring awaiting Hardcore Hogan. Hogan rolls into the ring like a madman and swings his boney fists at the Bridges of Wolverine County. Taylor Bridges swings his right arm knocking Hogan down to the mat. Deverot rolls into the ring and gets pounded into an oblivion.)
Jimmy: Look at these guys! They are persistent.
Hogan rolls underneath the bottom rope but receives a few kicks in the face by David Cote. Deverot finds an opening, but is viciously beaten by the both Taylor Bridges and David Cote. Cote smiles at Bridges. They raise their hands high in the air…. Until….
Former Heavyweight Champion vs Former Heavyweight Champion
One Fall
"Big Show" Bryan Deverot (former) vs Taylor Bridges (former)
Rudy: Whe… (Rudy looks up for a few seconds but drops his head into a puddle of his own alcohol drool)
Jimmy: And that’s great Rudy. Your new name is captain alcoholic.
Rudoloh: End-u-rence iz t.h.e key to vic-to-rie.
Jimmy: You remind me of a kindergarten student who just learned to read his first book.
(From the audience, David Cote hangs Deverot to dry as he tumbles to the outside from the top turnbuckle. Hardcore Hogan is surprised from David Cote’s honour and pride as he is placed in the center of the ring with a Wolverine Leg Lock. Hogan taps the mat in pain as Taylor Bridges slowly gets to his feet.)
Jimmy: Cote is a hero! The Bridges of Wolverine County is back.
Marco: Bridges!!! Taylor, my friend; wake up!
(Taylor Bridges wipes his eyes and stretches as he wakes up from his rapid eye movement sleep.)
Marco: You have a match to wrestle!
(“When the Levee Breaks” by Led Zepplin is faintly playing in the background as Taylor Bridges (whose sleeping on the job) gets up from the bench in the locker room and he walks through a tunnel to the entrance way. The cameraman walks behind Bridges as pushes the curtains aside. A loud roaring boo from the crowd hurts Bridges ears as he spits on the ground.
Jimmy: HA AH! Rudolph, he’s just like you, asleep on the job!!!
(Rudolph raises his face out of the slobber and spit and he falls asleep again)
“WELLLLL, well it’s the Big Show!")<
(Deverot pounds his chest like a gorilla as he rolls into the ring. The music stops as Bridges blatantly double-ax handles Deverot in his hippopotamus shoulders. The fans go wild as Big Show turns around swinging his doughy fist into the face Taylor Bridges. Bridges falls back two meters right onto his back. Taylor looks astonished.
Deverot starts a round of kicks and punches into the abdomen of Taylor Bridges. Bridges falls into the corner as Deverot attempts an Irish Whip into the opposite end of the ring. But, consequently, it’s Deverot’s in the corner of the ring. Bridges charges at Deverot with a battering ram with plenty of speed.
Taylor Bridges: What? You can’t handle it fat man? I just woke up from a deep sleep and still kickin’ you’re a$$.
Bridges dominates with powerful moves including suplexes, assorted slams and a monkey flip. Bridges places Deverot’s flabby legs into a figure four leg lock.
Jimmy: That’s smart. Deverot can’t win if he can’t walk.
The leglock drains Bryan Deverot’s energy as he lies in the center of the ring like a man who just finished cutting a ten acre lawn. The fans begin a chant…
Big Show, Big Show, Big Show…
Taylor Bridges tightly locks his grip as the Referee tests the consciousness of Bryan Deverot. Deverot does not give up and eh actually starts to swing Bridges around. The move is reversed! Deverot gets up on his two feet releasing the hold and yells.
Bryan Deverot: (Raising his arms in the air he shouts) I am the definition of Hardcore!!!
Jimmy: It’s his Picnic Table!
Hardcore Hogan parks right beside the ring and he pushes the table close to the ropes. Deverot is excited at this point as he holds Taylor Bridges into a stalling piledriver… He drives Bridges cranium into the mat! Deverot, quick as the dickens, gets up to his feet and points at his picnic table in excitement. Bridges is guided back to his feet as Deverot pushes Bridges into the truck. Deverot smiles as he hoists Bridges into the air… Bridges splinters through the table as Deverot goes for the quick cover.
1…2…3
Bryan Deverot is victorious.
Jimmy: Deverot just slammed Bridges through his picnic table. He’s be pulling the splinters out of his back for days!
The scene fades as Hardcore Hogan and “Big Show” Bryan Deverot raise their hands in the air!
Main Event
"Only the Extreme Survive" Battle Royal
Rules: In every single padded turnbuckle there lies a hidden weapon. Therefore, there are twelve mystery weapons. (4 corners, each has three padded turnbuckles; 4 times 3 =12). Whoever gets tossed up and over the top turnbuckle and remains in the ring at the end is victorious!
Participants: Incredible Bulk, "BG" Miguel, Brandon Hinz, Tweek, Towering Terror, Kevin Visor, Ryan Volkime, Shaun Bryson, Hugh Jim Pact, Jive Jones, Unfaithful, Cell, Hardcore Hogan, Digga, Hitman, "Buck" J.V.
OOC: I didn’t have that much time to write this match… sorry.
The fans are going wild as the ring gets filled up with some great athletes. The ring is getting crowded as there are fifteen people in the ring.
Jimmy: Who’s missing?
”READY or NOT, Here I come, you can’t hide”… The 687 fat monster, Incredible Bulk, Sam Smithers walks down the aisle eating a tub filled of popcorn. He rolls into the ring as everyone in the ring start pounding Bulk down to the ground. The bell sounds as Incredible Bulk drops his popcorn on the ground. Every single person in the ring hoists Incredible Bulk up and over the top rope!
Incredible Bulk eliminated.
Towering Terror lets loose a massive roar being the second largest man in the ring, as all 14 men start beating him into a pulp. Terror is lifted off the ground, up and over the rope rope.
Towering Terror is eliminated.
In the background, Brandon Hinz topples over the top rope as Kevin Visor delivers a bone-crushing drop-kick.
Brandon Hinz is eliminated.
Hugh Jim Pact tears one turnbuckle to shreds and hidden in its contents is a ham sandwich. Pact takes a bite out of the sandwich and spits it onto the face of a nearby JV. He goes to the bottom one and he finds a pair of brass knuckles. He puts them on and he takes a swing at Hitman. Hitman does a cartwheel over the ropes, now that’s power.
Hitman is eliminated.
Hardcore Hogan is searching in the turnbuckles until he finds a walkee talkee. He starts talking on it and there is no one at the opposite end. He throws it at Hugh Jim Pact as it breaks over top of his head. Hogan looks again in a turnbuckle and finds a rope. Hugh Jim Pact goes for Hogan and hits him directly in the face leaving a mark on his face with his brass knuckles. Hogan falls to one knee dropping his rope.
Shaun Bryson snaps as he goes straight after Volkine with a clothesline up and over the top rope.
Volkine is eliminated.
Jimmy: I thought Shaun Bryson lost that Career match against Klyde Kooger Klancey?
Shaun Bryson cheers as he eliminates himself from the ring.
Shaun Bryson is eliminated.
Kevin Visor and BG Miguel are brutally attacking each other in the corner until Kevin Visor starts ramming him like a bull. Hugh Jim Pact is making short work out of Jive Jones as he tosses him up and over the top rope.
Jive Jones is eliminated.
Tweek is elbowing the jaw of Unfaithful near the ropes when he tries to lift him over the top rope by grabbing onto his tights. Unfaithful is suspended on the ropes for a few seconds until he topples over with the help of Tweek.
Unfaithful is eliminated.
Tweek starts to look around in a turnbuckle for a weapon… What he finds is a piece of paper. He opens another turnbuckles and finds a marker. Tweek begins to write on the piece of paper… “TWEEKED OUT!” he writes and shows it to the fans who cheer wildly. He turns around and receives a shot to the chest by Cell. Digga and Kevin Visor meet at the opposite end of the ring as Visor winds up his clothesline with a direct hit to the neck.
Digga is eliminated.
Visor turns around and smokes JV in the head. He topples over the ropes.
JV is eliminated.
Hogan looks around as his hair sways back and fourth before he reveals the contents of another turnbuckle. He finds some mosquito spray. Hogan looks around and he finds a nearby Cell. Cell is sprayed in the eyes with the poisonous mosquito spray but from behind Tweek catches Cell throwing him over the top rope.
Cell is eliminated.
Hogan turns around and gets smoked by Hugh Jim Pact with his brass knuckles. Hogan’s face is getting mashed up before Hugh Jim Pact clothesline him over the top rope.
Jimmy: They dropped like cockroaches! Tweek, Kevin Visor, BG Miguel and Hugh Jim Pact remain!
Kevin Visor finds Hugh Jim Pact from behind and tries to throw him over the top rope but Hugh holds on… Visor thinks Hugh Jim Pact is done with as he looks into a turnbuckle. Kevin Visor finds his pair of shades! Visor puts on his shades acting cool, calm and collective he turns around and ducks the brass knuckles of Hugh Jim Pact. Visor catches Hugh with an uppercut and he topples over the top rope.
Hugh Jim Pact is eliminated.
Tweek and BG Miguel are grappling in the corner as Kevin Visor searches into another turnbuckle. He finds two springs… He attaches them to his shoes…
BG Miguel and Tweek are going at it, exchanging blows. Finally BG Miguel gains the advantage and smashes Tweek in the nose. Tweek falls backwards in pain but spins back up to his feet. BG Miguel swings him around 360 degrees and throws him up and over the top rope.
Tweek is eliminated.
Jimmy: What’s Kevin planning with that spring on his shoes?
BG Miguel turns around and gets a jab to the face. Kevin Visor finds a brass knuckle on the ground from Hugh Jim Pact and hits BG Miguel with it. Miguel falls like a ton of bricks as Kevin Visor bounces to the turnbuckle. Visor crawls to the top rope and raises his arms in the air!
Jimmy: It’s all or nothing!!!
Visor flies so high in the air like a bird with an extra spring… Visor hits Shooting Star Press!
Jimmy: RISING POINT!
Visor grabs his ribs in pain, but he pulls up BG by his ear and easily tosses him over the top rope!
BG Miguel is eliminated!
Kevin Visor is victorious!
Jimmy: My prediction is for Kevin Visor for the tournament. He took it to the limit in that match!
The ref raises up Visors arm high in the air as the scene fades out.
