The ambulance ride to the hospital was the longest 15 minutes of Nikolas’s life.

It was literally hell. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the two of them going over the side of the building. Every time he opened his eyes he saw Emily in front of him, IV’s hooked up, unnaturally pale, hooked to the ventilator, and barely breathing with a heart beat that moved back and forth from erratic to non-existant.

She had crashed three times already and each time they had barely brought her back. There were too many broken bones to count and signs of internal bleeding. Plus the paramedics suspected a possible skull fracture.

He didn’t need a third year of medical school to know that she was dying.

It was a miracle that she was still alive.

She was only alive because of New York’s inability to pick up its garbage on time in certain neighborhoods. The pile of garbage bags on the side of the building and landing on Mark had broken Emily’s fall just enough so that she survived the impact of the five story fall. Or at least she had survived so far.

Mark hadn’t.

Nikolas didn’t give a damn about Mark. He supposed Jason would be a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to kill Mark personally, but other than that nobody would miss Mark.

He looked at Emily lying so still. God, he had to look extra close just to make sure she was still breathing.

He held her hand as if holding on to her physical body would keep her spirit from drifting away.

“I love you Emily,” he whispered pleadingly as the ambulance careened through the city streets. “We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. Don’t leave me now. Don’t leave me alone. Stay. God Emily just hold on. For me. Please.”

Emily remained as still as death.
Four hours later. A hotel in New Jersey

Something is wrong, Melissa paces the cheaply decorated and shoddily maintained hotel room nervously. They should have been here by now.

It had taken Melissa no time at all to plant the bomb in Emily and Nikolas’s apartment- a bomb that was scheduled to go off some time in the next few hours. The big surprise had been when she had gotten to her apartment and noticed the police lines and the police investigators combing through the place. She had barely managed to steal away without someone seeing her.

They knew who she was. They knew that she had been involved. She wondered vaguely how they had figured it out. What had tipped them off. She had planned so carefully.

Still it was one thing to know who she was and another to actually stop her. That they couldn’t do. That no one could do. As soon as Mark got here with Emily, Melissa intended to kill Emily. The syringe of poison was on the table. Mark would think she was just drugging Emily again, but the poison would kill her. Mark would be upset for a while, but he would soon realize that she knew best. She always had.

Growing more and more impatient, Melissa turned on the local news. What she heard both made her world and destroyed it in one single second.

Reporter: In a late breaking development, officials from both the WSB and the FBI confirm the death this afternoon of ELQ heiress Emily Quartermaine at the age of 21.. Miss. Quatermaine, who lived here in New York and recently inherited a large fortune after the death of her grandfather- ELQ Industries founder Edward Quatermaine, died from a fall off a building that occurred as the result of a kidnapping. Miss Quartermaine died 30 minutes ago at Mercy Hospital. Miss Quartermaine, who worked as an actress here in New York, is survived by her parents renowned cardiac surgeon Dr. Monica Quartermaine and noted philanthropist Dr. Alan Quartermaine, her brother acting head of ELQ Alan Quartermaine Junior, and noted Mafia boss Jason Morgan. The Quartermaine family has gone into seclusion at their Port Charles estate. Funeral services are scheduled for the day after tomorrow in Port Charles. The only suspect in the kidnapping/murder died in the same fall that took Miss Quartermaine’s life. He was pronounced dead at the scene. We will have the complete story and more details on the 11 o’clock broadcast of Eyewitness news.

Melissa stared at the screen in shock for minutes. Then a glazed look entered her eyes. She picked up the pistol she had sitting next to her and made sure it was loaded. She then picked up the phone, called the airport, and booked herself on the next flight to Port Charles.

The cemetery

The private graveside services had been over for an hour, but Nikolas was still there. It was as if he was glued to the ground. He had said almost nothing since he had arrived in Port Charles yesterday. His face was pale, his eyes were haunted, and the only one who seemed able to reach him was Lucky who never left his side. Both men appeared bonded in their grief over someone who had been very important in both their lives.

“It shouldn’t have happened,” Nikolas voice isn’t loud but it still carries in the silences of the cemetery. “I should have stopped him. I should have said or done something that stopped him.”

“Don’t do this,” Lucky put his arm around Nikolas. “This isn’t what she would have wanted. She loves, loved, you.”

“And loving me got her killed.” Nikolas’s voice is bitter.

“No,” Lucky is appalled. “Loving you gave her life. After all the hell she had in her life, loving you and having you love her gave her so much more than you will ever realize. In all the years I’ve known her, she was never happier than she was with you. You have to know that.”

Nikolas looks up. His eyes bright with unshed tears. “I don’t know how to go on without her.”

“I’ll help,” Lucky whispered.

“Excuse me,” The cultured voice behind them interrupts the two brothers. Both men turn around.

“Father.” Nikolas acknowledges Stefan’s presence.

“Nikolas....I....” At a loss for words, Stefan hesitates. He has never seen his son in this much pain before and he is unsure of how to reach him. “I am truly sorry.”

There is something rigid and unnatural in Nikolas’s control. “I know. Thank you.”

“Your mother, Lesley Lu, and Luke are going to the Quartermaines. I am headed there myself. Can I drive you?” He asks helplessly.

Lucky and Nikolas exchange glances before Lucky shakes his head. “Thank you for the offer Stefan. When Nik is ready I will drive him over there. Liz is probably there with her grandmother by now.”

“Is this what you want?” Stefan asks not able to hide the hurt in his tone completely.

“Yes it is Father,” Nikolas responds. “Please understand. I just want to be alone.”

“Alone with him?” Stefan gestures to Lucky.

Nikolas tries to explain. “Lucky....loved her too....and he was there with me...when she....” He can’t continue and turns around.

Stefan fights the urge to go to him. “I understand. I do. I will see you later.”

As Stefan leaves the cemetery, Nikolas tries to bring things back under control. “This is so damned hard.” He whispers.

Lucky does the only thing he can do. He reaches out and holds his brother and lets him grieve.

A few minutes later, Nikolas is alone in front of the spot where the casket was lowered into the ground hours before. The smell of freshly turned dirt punctuates the air. Lucky is waiting in the car, giving Nikolas a chance to say a private goodbye.

He looks upward at the clouding sky which has turned decisively gray.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he whispers out loud. “I never imagined having to do this. I love you. Always have and always will. I’m sorry for not being able to save you. You must have been so scared and frightened. And hurt. But I know you were strong. You’ve always been strong. Some people mistake your kindness and compassion, your vulnerability for weakness. But I know differently. Only a strong person could have survived what you had to survive. Losing your mother. Living with the Quartermaines. The addiction to drugs. My stupidity with Katherine. God Em. I’m sorry for the times I hurt you.”

“I know there were times in your life when you thought you were unloved. But I want you to know that I love you. Since the night at that ball when I saw your glow and wanted to stay in your light forever, I have loved you. These last few years, having you in my life and in my arms, have been like a never ending miracle. You are my faith. My life. My hope. My light in the darkness. My home.”

He can’t stop the tears from flowing. “I know you thought you were saving me when you stopped Mark from shooting me. And I know you did it without hesitation because that’s what I would have done for you. But I can’t make it without you Emily Quartermaine. You are the best part of me. How do I make it through the night without you to hold me? What do I wake up for in the morning if you aren’t there?”

There is silence for a moment, the only answer the gentle rustling of leaves in the trees.

“I would give anything to be with you at this moment.” Nikolas whispers gently before turning to leave.

“I can arrange that.” A voice says coldly behind him.

“Melissa.” Nikolas’ voice is flat and toneless.

“Nice to see you again too Nikki,” Melissa is dressed completely in a shade of black that matches the automatic pistol she has aimed at Nikolas. “Sorry I couldn’t make it to the services.”

“It was for family only,” Nikolas replies, his eyes never leaving Melissa’s. “Emily had a lot of family. She was very much loved.”

“And now she will be mourned. You should thank me Nikki,” Melissa grins evilly, the gun still aimed right at Nikolas. “The two of you would probably have ended up middle aged and divorced. This way your lost love stays eternally beautiful and tragic. Another myth to add to the Cassadine legend.”

“You bitch.” Nikolas grinds the words out. “Emily trusted you. She considered you a friend.”

‘Too bad,” Melissa says coolly. “Friends? Enemies? Not a whole lot of difference. She killed the only man I ever cared about. She deserved what she got.”

“Matt died because of his own stupidity. Not that he didn’t deserve to die for dealing drugs to mixed up kids like Emily. Matt was a leech. The two of you deserved each other.” Nikolas spat the words out.

“You bastard.” Melissa’s scream is wild and out of control, but the hand holding the gun is steady and the gun is still pointed at Nikolas. “What the hell would you know about love?”

“What she taught me,” Nikolas replies. “What you’ll never understand because love isn’t about getting what you want, its about making others happy.”

“Then maybe I’ll make you happy,” Melissa laughs scornfully. “You wanted to join your lost lover in the grave. Let me help you.” Melissa pulls the trigger.

The bullet strikes Nikolas in the chest and he falls, silent and still to the ground.

Melissa lowers her gun. A smile of pure delight envelopes her face. She has done it. Emily is dead. Nikolas is dead. “All’s well that ends well,” she murmurs to herself as she turns to leave the cemetery. She stops when she realizes that she and the fallen Nikolas are not alone.

“I don’t think the play is over yet,” Lucky says as he emerges from his hiding place behind a tree. He is heavily armed.

Melissa laughs. “Go ahead. Call the FBI. Call the police. Call anyone you want. I did what I wanted to do. Arrest me.”

“I don’t think we’ll bother the police,” Jason Morgan says as he too emerges from hiding. “We’ll handle things ourselves.” And before Melissa can let the fear that suddenly fills her show, Jason raises the gun he is holding and shoots her clean in the forehead. She is dead before she hits the ground.

Jason motions to two of his men. “Take care of the body. I don’t want it found. Ever. And nothing traceable on it.”

Lucky watches, aware that he has just condoned a murder but not able to make himself feel any guilt. He takes one last look at Melissa’s blank eyes but all he can see is Emily.

“Get her the hell out of here,” he whispers toJason before turning his attention to Nikolas.

He races to Nikolas’ side. He is still unconscious. “Come on Nik. Wake up. You’re going to be okay.”

After a long moment, Nikolas’ eyes flutter open. “Lucky?”

“Yea, I’m here. Try to relax.”

Nikolas drags himself into a sitting position. He pulls back his shirt to reveal the bullet proof vest he has been wearing.

“Told you it would work.” He smiled shakily.

“I still think you’re an idiot.” Lucky says. “What if she had decided to shoot you in the head. It is a big enough target.”

“You’d have saved me,” Nikolas says. Both are silent for a moment. “Did Jason kill her?”

Lucky nods.

“You okay?” Nikolas asks. “I know that badge you wear doesn’t exactly stand for things like this.”

Lucky shakes his head. “I’m fine. We both know that she deserved it for what she did to Emily. She would have killed you. Twice. The bomb we found in your apartment. Which probably would have taken half the building with it. And just now. If we had taken her in for trial, it would have just dragged Emily’s name through the mud. And I’m not sure the system could have kept her. “ Lucky shrugs. “I hate to say it but this time Jason’s way was probably best. Besides, I wanted to kill her myself. He saved me the trouble.”

“Glad to hear you admit it,” Jason comes up to them, the body disposed of.

Lucky looks at Jason. “I’m grateful for your help this time Jason and you and I have a history. But we are on opposite sides now. Next time I will do my duty as an FBI agent. Remember that in the future.”

Jason nods and with one more glance in their direction turns and walks away.

Lucky helps Nikolas to his feet. Nikolas leans on his brother until his legs feel steady under him.

“Let’s get out of here,” Nikolas says. Together, the two brothers leave the cemetery.

An hour later Lucky and Nikolas park their car outside a nondescript building somewhere between Port Charles and New York.

They are greeted at the door by a heavily armed WSB agent who waves them in. Once inside they head down a corridor to a familiar room. Inside that room lies a very familiar figure, pale and still.

Nikolas breathes a sigh of relief. “She’s still alive.”

Frisco gives up his place by Emily’s side to Nikolas.

“The doctor was here about twenty minutes ago. There’s been no change in her condition. She’s still in a coma.”

Nikolas nods. She’s still alive. Still hanging on even if by the smallest of threads. It’s all he cares about. All he has cared about since she slipped into the coma after the five hours of surgery she had undergone to repair the damage from the fall. Her condition had not changed in the last seventy two hours. Extremely critical was how the WSB doctors put it.

“Did the plan work?” Frisco asks Lucky. Lucky nods.

“Just as predicted. She couldn’t resist the chance to show up at Emily’s funeral. It was touch and go for a while, but everything turned out according to plan.”

“Good.” Frisco turns to Nikolas. “When are you going to let her family know she’s alive. We had to tell everyone she was dead and stage that funeral today for Melissa’s benefit, but now that it’s safe what next?”

Lucky and Nikolas look at each other. They’ve given this a lot of thought and discussion on the ride up.

“We’re not,” Nikolas replies, his eyes never leaving Emily, his hand holding tight to her cold one. “Not until there’s some change in her condition. If ..If she dies..” His voice breaks for a moment. “It would be cruel to tell them that she’s alive and then to have them suffer through her death a second time. We’ll wait. The only one who knows the truth is Lila who has agreed to stay in her room.”

During the long hours when Emily had been in surgery and the police could pick up no sign of Melissa and the bomb in their apartment made Melissa’s intentions dead clear, it had been Frisco who had suggested that Emily’s “death” could lure Melissa out into the open. It had been Jason and Nikolas who had been adament that they could fool the rest of the world into believing that Emily was dead, but they were not putting Lila through that. Not months after she lost Edward. Not in her frail condition. So Jason had visited Lila and told her the truth. The grande dame had played her part beautifully, Nikolas thought. Maybe that’s who Emily got her love of acting from.

“I’m going to call Liz and check in. She’ll be petrified by now, even if she encounters Jason at the Quartermaines and he tells her everything is okay. Any clue how I explain our absence?” Lucky asks.

There is no answer, Nikolas’s entire attention is focused on Emily.

“Okay then,” Lucky says to no one in particular. “I’ll just make up some story that explains my brother’s absence when everyone in town has gathered to offer him comfort and condolescenes,” Lucky sighs “..I can do this...”

“Of course you can,” Frisco escorts him out of the room. “You’re a Spencer, aren’t you? Making up wild stories, conning your way out of bad situations, turning everyone’s life upside down, it’s in the blood. The genetic make up. The Spencer DNA”

In a few moments the room is silent except for the beeping of the machines hooked up to Emily.

Nikolas reaches down and kisses her softly on the lips. There is no response.

“I had to bury you today,” he whispers to her. “I hated it. Every moment of it. I don’t want to go through that again. I want.....” He pauses as a tear runs down his cheek. “I want to grow old with you. I want to watch your sable hair turn grey. I want to sit on some porch next to you waiting for our grand children to come and visit.”

“God Em,” his voice is low and passionate. “There is so much I want to do with you. I want to take you to Paris or London or Hong Kong or anyplace you want to go. I want to take you to Greece and share with you the warmth of the land I grew up in. I want to do silly mundane things with you. Like pick out wall paper samples. Or go Christmas shopping. I want to hold your hand when you give birth to our first child. I want to see your smile when they take their first steps. I want so much. I want a life. And I want it with you.”

“I know it hurts baby,” he continues. “I know wherever you are that you are hiding from the pain. I know that heaven must be beckoning you. How could God not want an angel like you? Emily...Please stay with me. I need you more than he does. We’ll get through this together. I love you so much. I can’t make it through if you aren’t by my side.”

“Do you know who I am without you? I’ll be just Prince Nikolas. I’ll be some kind of robot that will function and do what he’s told but inside I’ll be hollow and empty because my soul will die without your love. Without your laughter and your light my life will be dark and cold and barren. You saved me on that rooftop. Save me again by coming back to me.”

There is no reply, no movement, no sound from Emily’s still form on the bed.

Giving in to the desperation that he can no longer control, Nikolas lies his head on his arms and begins to cry.

story index.