CHRISTMAS

 

Lisa Martin

 

            "I hate Christmas!" It was said with utter disgust.

            "Why?"

            "Why?? Look around you! It's the end of November and the stores are already full with Christmas things. I swear if I hear one more of those lousy songs I'm going to kill someone!"

            "You're overreacting."

"I am not overreacting."

            "Yes you are. You're getting angry."

            "I am not getting angry!"

            With a smirk. "Yes you are."

            "You are impossible!"

            "So you told me. But what's with you and Christmas anyway? And don't give me that 'it's all a commercial thing' crap."

            "It is."

            "What do you have against Christmas?"

            "You never quit do you?"

            "No."

            "It's all so hypocritical. Peace on earth, ha!"

            "It is a nice thought,"

            "Maybe." A shrug. "If it could get further than a thought, that would be nice."

            "Okay, peace on earth is a sham. What's bugging you about Christmas?"

            A deep sigh. "They're celebrating Christ's birth. For your information, he wasn't born on December 25th."

            "He wasn't??"

            "No. And before you ask, there is some scientific proof for that."

            "Then what are we celebrating?"

            "Beats me these days. Christmas presents?"

            "Very funny."

            "It wasn't meant to be."

            "What bugs you about Christmas?"

            A dark stare that made no impression. "You are going to push and push until you drag it out of me, aren't you?"

            "Yes."

            "Why?"

            "Because I want to know!"

            "Curiosity killed the cat."

            "I'm not a cat!"

            "No, you aren't." An appreciative glance. "Although…"

            "Stop the diversions, you aren't getting anywhere with those."

            Appreciative glance turned into a leer. "By the looks of it, I am getting somewhere.."

            "No, you're not. Not until you tell me what it is you have against Christmas."

            "And after that?"

            "We'll see."

            "Not good enough. Give me some guarantees."

            "You are impossible!"

            "So I've been told." Pause. "Many times." Another pause. "It's not Christmas, it's just that it is my birthday, okay??"

            "Your birthday??"

            "Alien concept to you?"

            "No….No!! Why haven't you told me?"

            "You never asked."

            Stunned silence. "That is the worst excuse…"

            "It wasn't an excuse, I was merely stating a fact. You never asked."

            "But..but you know mine.."

            "Everyone knows when your birthday is."

            "They do??'

            "Yes. I had to find out through the grapevine, though."

            "No, you didn't!"

            "No, I didn't, I knew. Just a little hint."

            "I haven't told you."

            "You're catching on. A little late, but better late then never. So, feel like celebrating a birthday?"

            "It's not my birthday yet. Or yours, for that matter."

            "Who cares?"

            An incredulous stare, then a smile. "Okay, but then I won't tell you what I got you for your birthday."

            "Not fair. Hold on, you got me a birthday present without knowing my birthday?"

            "I didn't say that I didn't know when your birthday was, I merely said that you had never told me."

            "Same thing."

            "No, it isn't. I got you cornered, and you don't like that, do you?"

            "No, I don't. I know what I do like though."

            "You're insatiable."

            "Oh yes."

            A little muffled. "Wait!"

            "What now?" Cranky didn't even begin to describe it.

            "How do I know you're not jailbait?"

            "MacLeod!!"

 

 

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