Connections (Giles)

 

Lisa Martin

 

 

I envy you two. This may sound curious coming from me and I'm sure you will have a suitable answer to it. I can almost hear it, 'wanna take my place?' or something to that extent. I'm not so good in witty comebacks, although I'm learning. From you, yes I admit it.

Back to the envying. Today I noticed that you two are completely in sync, frighteningly so. Most of the time there is no need for words, a mere look will do the job and sometimes not even eye contact is made. A parapsycholigist would have a field day.

I guess it comes from knowing each other all your lives, I can see no other explanation. There probably is one, but nothing springs to mind at this stage.

It's funny, but it was a triviality that made me see this. Tonight during, as Willow calls it, a research party, we ordered pizzas. Again. When they arrived I saw you both grabbing a piece from a different one, eating half of it, then handing the remaining piece to the other. Without looking! It was such a natural movement, like you had done it hundreds of times before. With the drinks it went the same way. Afraid that some of that hideous stuff would spill on the books, I wanted to grab the cans, but the change over went smoothly. Neither of you looked up from the book you were reading. To say I was baffled would be an understatement.

I got some curious looks this evening, probably because I was staring. Buffy even made a remark about it, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.

Yes, I do envy you. The connection you have cannot be destroyed; it took a serious blow some time ago, but something that ingrained can't be wiped out. Not even the fiercest demon can accomplish that fact.

With the envy comes something that is far more devastating, jealousy. A little green demon that no Slayer can destroy, a demon that lives inside of everyone. I have fallen victim to it on occasion, but never quite like this. I wanted to tear you two away from each other, break that bond with my bare hands. Why?

Because I want that bond with you. That complete trust you have in each other, the love that is obviously still there. Not the love you shared for a brief moment, but something much deeper, something forged by a lifetime of experiences. I don't have that with you, only two short years I've known you. In those years you irritated me, angered me, made me smile and crept under my skin like no one ever has.

I want to wrap you up in cotton, protect you from all the dark things that are lurking in this town, but the last time I tried that you weren't too pleased with it. You'd rather get yourself killed then stand on the sideline. Now I try to do it less obvious, and I'm thankful you haven't caught up with that yet.

Wherever this might lead, I'm not sure. I know where I want it to lead, but I have to tread carefully. Patience is a virtue I have and right now it's something I'm grateful for.

You're looking up from your book right at me. Have you felt my stare?

 

 

 

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