PR Mega: its a sick sad world when porn e-mails, trying to get you to
go to their site, don't bother to check before they send out their spam
PR Mega: so all you see is fucked up html in your mailbox
PR Mega: if i'm sitting around in the dark with my penis in my hand the
last thing i want to do is search for a url in this e-mail when
www.pussy.com works just as well
BirdhouseIYS: what does one have to do to get a penis fan club going
Budnitz 1: spread it around
Budnitz 1: let the people get to know it
Budnitz 1: show the people that your penis is their friend
BirdhouseIYS: I could get fired for that
Budnitz 1: fired, arrested, deported....there's a lot of things they
could do to you for that
PR Mega: and hitherforth, Dr Mario shall be known as "he who has sealed
his own fate"
PR Mega: well, now that I've secured a place in hell, I'm going to bed
BirdhouseIYS: if you rot in one place long enough you become the boss
BirdhouseIYS: no matter how retarded you are
BirdhouseIYS: oh damn, oh hell what shall we ever do not thinking about
Quinn's crotch
PR Mega: yeah, i found that out when i tried "monkeylicious"
PR Mega: i was nearly exiled to Cuba for the experiment that led to
*that* word....
YerFather: I don't give a fuck about you, you homo erotic halfling!
YerFather: I am so fucking pissed off right now
YerFather: I could pee fire
PR Mega: this story
PR Mega: has more twists and turns than my colon
PR Mega: like Gonzo, I, too, have an unhealthy relationship with
chickens
PR Mega: perhaps a message that i should drown my sorrows in porn
BirdhouseIYS: how do you forget? I can feel your jealous rage.
BirdhouseIYS: The nipples of Xanthus compel you!!
Yer Father: What will you do with all of them?
PR Mega: chuck em at the uglies, i reckon
PR Mega: I'll leave the alcohol for you fetid booze hounds.
PR Mega: Look at that gin monkey go!
Birdhouse IYS: TURDS OF MIGHT! I HAVE NO IDEA!
???: Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.
PR Mega: that's one of the signs of the apocolypse: "...and thine feces
shall flow like water...."
Birdhouse IYS: leave it to me to properly inspect all of their tits
Birdhouse IYS: my boner went from sky to earths core in 2.5 seconds
Birdhouse IYS: I do not think of you as cute like a friggin monkey
PR Mega: "very well" as in "nice conversation", or "very well" as in
"Nob-Job from God"?
BirdhouseIYS: I've got enough things wrong with my car, I don't need a
pox on my windshield wipers!
Yer Father: I wonder if Ewok is a word
PR Mega: of course it is!
PR Mega: what else would you call those savage spear chuckers that run
around screaming "YUB YUB! DEVOUR THE INTRUDERS! YUB YUB!"
Birdhouse IYS: you can smoke cock?1
PR Mega: you'd be surprised what people find ways to smoke
Birdhouse IYS: ewww
Birdhouse IYS: lorana bobbit puffin on a peter
PR Mega: If I'm gonna pay a girl for sex, I wanna make sure she's hot,
not the Blob in drag
YerFather: I remember one time Matt was pissing you off, I don't know
why i remember this but I do, and I swear to god with three times the
speed of a mongoose you had your had around his throat
YerFather: It just like snapped on there like a snapping thing with
alot of speed would do
PR Mega: I swear to God, the next person that comes up to me with a
social security check and an attitude is getting a shoe in the ass
YerFather: You know of all the crappy crap shows I've ever watched this
is the crappiest of the craps
PR Mega: yeah, this one ranks pretty high on the crapometer
YerFather: I would prefer to be stabbed in the eye with a spork soaked
in herpes all day
Birdhouse IYS: If I catch you with that fucker there I'm gonna blast
it's carcass over the campus with a potato gun
farmer zaph: so if florida is the penis... that makes texas the
asshole?
PR Mega: Texas is the United States' dingus
PR Mega: it's like showing up with a pair of balls on your chin...don't
question it, just accept it!
PR Mega: it's so cool that god made boobs
PR Mega: good night to all, and to all....something about a dingus!
Yerfather: what will you do when you come home from college and matt
has transformed your room into barbie's dream palace
PR Mega: you can keep star fox
PR Mega: in exchange for your game i just broke in half
YerFather: If you did that would be the funniest thing ever
YerFather: Because there's a couple of scenarios that would play out
YerFather: There would be the first scenario just pyschotically
walking up to it and just breaking it and getting a cheap thrill out of it
YerFather: Or there would be the like flipping out and yelling
jibberish all the way to the gamecube and then more heated jibberish
while you tried to talk some sense into the game in your jibberish
angry language then when the game didn't reply you would yell at in
jibberish one last time and then that would be the end of the game
YerFather: I'm going to name my ulcer Japan
PR Mega: mutha fucka runs in there all Rambo style and he's like "BLAP
BLAP!" and suddenly Everyone is dead
PR Mega: i know my Disney bitches
PR Mega: ok so this guy drank this shit
PR Mega: and now he's burping up slugs
PR Mega: so i give him this shit to make him stop
PR Mega: and it sets him on fire
PR Mega: i give him this *other* shit to put the fire out
PR Mega: and it turns him inside out
PR Mega: i swear to god i can't win
YerFather: I can remember when me and Jason went through the same exact
shit
Birdhouse IYS: at least I can still get wasted and masturbate
Shingo Demata: I would run such a better news station
Shingo Demata: Number one I would make things up
Shingo Demata: I'd be all "And on the border of North Korea apparently a
race of Bigfoots have waged war on the North Koreans on behalf of America"
Shingo Demata: Then I would have some guy like this talking and boring everyone
Shingo Demata: And after like a minute of him talking
Shingo Demata: I would have him get slapped in the face with a black dildo
by Mr. Miyagi and Mr. Myyagi would be all "Shut up beeeotch"
Shingo Demata: And I would have my camera man push this reporter off the roof
Shingo Demata: Cuz something like that is great tv
Shingo Demata: LOL what a jackass this guy is
Shingo Demata: I would be reporting in a speedo
Shingo Demata: Drunk
Shingo Demata: "Well sheppard you fucking ugly motherfucker....these missles have been beating and boating all day today....."
PredatorRanger: "We have nothing to indicate that that is Saddam Hussein. It could very well have been a giant talking scrotum"
Shingo Demata: "His face was a little different more sacky looking today then normal"
Shingo Demata: If I had a humvee my parking garage would be Heraldo's peehole
PR Mega: you still worshipping bob quaker?
PR Mega: cause i think i could be smoted for attending The House Of the Oatmeal Guy
PR Mega: "From the makers of Pokemon Blue and Pokemon Red comes: Pokemon Boob and Pokemon Ass!"
MarMarbooch: I'm gonna give your ass a wookie!
MarMarbooch: well you're a pronoun!
PR Mega: this conversation stopped making sense before it even started
Yer Father: Look....
Yer Father: You're not supposed to fuck farm animals on Jesus's birthday
Yer Father: No matter what moses's 13th commandment might say
Yer Father: I'll just blink and Satan will be like "GOTCHA BITCH"
Yer Father: Comedy is when a dog walks around with a half smoked cigarette up it's ass
Yer Father: True comedy is when the dog chases you back to the house yelling "YUB YUB YUB YUB
!!!" on it's hind legs
Yer Father: Better to be surprised than molested, that's my motto
PR Mega: better to sleep with one eye open than be impregnated by a puppy named scruffy
Yer Father: that's your motto
Yer Father: So I'm gonna go to Yankee stadium with like 13 of my friends
Yer Father: Chances of me getting arrested = 99.9%
PR Mega: i can't wait to see the news that night
Yer Father: Me too
Yer Father: So you can be like "Oh that's what Damiens penis looks like"
Amanda: Why are they changing the dress code?
PR Mega: because some douche bag at the main office said "let's make things more difficult for
them. BACHOMP!"
PR Mega: yes, sometimes we are blinded by the stink of our soiled clothing
Yer Father: I think for todays expierement
Yer Father: I'm going to see how many times I can punch a customer in the face before I'm fired
PR Mega: i'm going to switch this man's "cheerios" with the new cereal "sugar coated unhealthy
circles that resemble cheerios but really aren't" just to shut him the fuck up about lowering his
cholesterol
PR Mega: goddamn the booch and her ability to usurp the internet from beneath my iron fist!
PR Mega: well then by all means, go tickle his pickle with a blow torch
Birdhouse IYS: fuck this I'm going to Green Island and rodney kinging the shit out of this kid
with my 9 iron
PR Mega: and who in the FUCK has the brass ones to say he was "too bad ass", because that
persons balls are about to be smelted into a nice set of frying pans
PR Mega: can you repeat the question?
Yer Father: No I'm so fucking tired
PR Mega: $Texas
PR Mega: I really can't believe that among the hail of gunfire perpetrated by one half of Bill
and Ted, Kazaa escapes unscathed
Yer Father: Who is Kazaa?
PR Mega: Kazaa....Napster...Bearshare....Morpheus! That's it
PR Mega: What the hell was that? When the crap did I get a donkey?
PR Mega: enjoy your ass, my friend
PR Mega: well, not *your* ass
PR Mega: but the ass you are about to receive
PR Mega: hooray for missions that end with dead fat people!
PR Mega: if i had the ability to fire people
PR Mega: half of watervliet would be unemployed
PR Mega: there'd be 3 people working in all of price chopper, and they'd all be sucking my dick
PR Mega: well i had planned to burn the sanford and son theme to a cd, roll down the windows,
then drive by you repeatedly about 50 times till the song ended or everyone in the parking lot
had tasted my bumper
Yer Father: Oh believe me I put my time in for it
Yer Father: I molested many
PR Mega: ;)
Yer Father: You know
Yer Father: You're the only person that I'll ever know
Yer Father: That I can claim to have molested many and your response is ";)"
Yer Father: Money really can buy happiness
Yer Father: And whoever created that phrase
Yer Father: Deserves to have their balls and rectum fed to their kids
Yer Father: My dad in a judge judy show with a black baliff and he had to be drunk on the show
Yer Father: Or me going around to as many jobs as I can and just getting fired from like 20
companys
Yer Father: For like stupid things
Yer Father: Like for instance if it were pc
Yer Father: I would like get a wooden spoon from the baking aisle and just go around smacking
people in the ass with it
Yer Father: Or just stand in front of all the regsiters and drop my pants and boxers and just
stand there helping customers
SamuraiPrinceXR: I got really close to Dick and Bush before election
PR Mega: I don't think Dick got very close to Bush till after....
PR Mega: ooooooooooh, you said "eLection"
PR Mega: a pox on thine penis
Vengeur007: I beat and I boat
Vengeur007: My feet are a treat
Vengeur007: Matt is a ho
Vengeur007: Damien, give him the toe
PR Mega: I swear one day she was pissed at something and I got in her way, and she's like "BWAR!!!" and then some Chinese customer was like "EEEIII!!!! Godzilla is attacking Customer Service! EEEEIIII!!"
Mouth1113: lol she can get like that but can't everyone
PR Mega: i know i have....damn near made Tony cry
PR Mega: cause that finger will never grow back....
Yer Father: i will lead this bunch of doomed souls into the gates of hell kick them in the nuts and leave them there
Peanis Malloy: if i see a bare ass, penis, or testicle, i'm shooting
it and running back to my truck
Peanis Malloy: just so you know
Yer Father: like fighting with skeletor and being like "Wait
Skeletor I must do squats to improve my buns of steel"
Yer Father: "Kids you should do this at home"
Monsters Of Mud: LOL
Monsters Of Mud: and then his side kick Man At Arms would come
over and pat his ass
Yer Father: LOL
Yer Father: "Good work out he-man"
Monsters Of Mud: and then the ambiguously gay duo music would
begin to play and Skeletor's jaw would like fall off
Monsters Of Mud: and He Man would be all "What's everyone looking
at?"
Yer Father: lol!!!!!
Yer Father: with a slide whistle in there somewhere
Shingo Demata: Jason better take freddys manhood!
PR Mega: Good Sir, that had best be the booze talking!
Yer Father: ummmmm after the game
Yer Father: my eyes weren't white anymore
Yer Father: they were red
Yer Father: which could have been a number of reasons
PR Mega: possession?
Yer Father: 1.) the heat
Yer Father: 2.) the sweat
Yer Father: 3.) the sunburn of my eyeballs
Yer Father: or
Yer Father: 4.) the anger that caused my eyeballs to fill with
blood and fire
Yer Father: i think it to be 4 considering one popped and lit
someones ciggarette
Yer Father: satan came up to talk to me and was like "fuck you nigga this is too hot"
PR Mega: so clear a path through the condoms so i can venture in without being attacked by semen demons
Yer Father: that looks like a drugged out jappy
PR Mega: kinda??
PR Mega: no, you didn't say kinda....
Yer Father: when i said kinda i meant exactly.....
PR Mega: never mind then
Yer Father: sweet crackers im blind!
PR Mega: sweet crackers why did i think you said kinda?
Yer Father: no
Yer Father: thats not the question here
Yer Father: the question is
Yer Father: why did I think i said kinda
Yer Father: i just had to scroll up
Yer Father: mmmmmmkay
Yer Father: ill be waiting to masturbate
Yer Father: i mean
Yer Father: chitchat
Yer Father: yes.....
Yer Father: chitchat
Yer Father: when i lock and turn on him though he isn't going to be
a happy pup
Yer Father: aaaaaaaand with all this talk of dog fornication i'm off
Yer Father: g'night
Yer Father: sexy sexy beast
PR Mega: and once again, our conversation ends on the topic of
beastiality
PR Mega: why does that keep happening???
Birdhouse IYS: there's no wrong way to fuck a woman with no legs
Yerfather: ok for some reason i am rogue and my bitch is cyclops.....these are just two of the reasons i hate my life...
PR Mega: he's putting Trojan Man's son through college
Vengeur007: tomi always has an itch that needs scratchin'
PR Mega: i'm afraid
PR Mega: but i do believe there's a cream for that
Vengeur007: it is called derek's wand
PR Mega: it's actually called Pedro
Vengeur007: LOL
Vengeur007: he told me "SSgt DEEM!!! DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME SLAVE
TO YOUR WHIM!!!!!!!!"
PR Mega: ooooh
PR Mega: i member when Matt said the exact same thing to me
PR Mega: that's why he's nicknamed "Stubby"
Yer Father: any luck with the ladies
PR Mega: what ladies?
PR Mega: if i could find a lady up here.....
Yer Father: you just get she beasts
Yer Father: up there
PR Mega: there's probably like 20 holes in all of Dingle
PR Mega: err, Utica
PR Mega: I love the fact that our toilet is growing a beard
BirdhouseIYS: Eric, it's your turn to shave the toilet!
Venguer007: Matt, hurry up and hide that copy of "Hot Cocks, Swollen Rocks"
Yer Father: mmmmmm dog penis.....
PR Mega: aaaaaaaaaaaaand once again we find ourselves talking about
animal genitalia
Vengeur007: omg
Vengeur007: ben and jen broke up
PR Mega: ?
Vengeur007: ben affleck and jenny lopez
PR Mega: ok
PR Mega: 2 questions
PR Mega: who cares, and who didn't see that coming?
Vengeur007: she was in tears apparently
PR Mega: he better have been like "gimme back that 9.3 kajabillion
dollar ring, bitch....that's my beer change"
Vengeur007: 85%!
PR Mega: god how my tender middle swells with anticipation for it's
completion
Vengeur007: if you want her, come and claim her!!
PR Mega: no
PR Mega: no i am lazy
PR Mega: bring her to me
Vengeur007: i shall attempt
PR Mega: and tell her to rape me, cause i simply no longer have the
strength to breathe
Vengeur007: ugh we have to wear blues all next week
Vengeur007: many sausage-like airmen will be chagrined
YerFather: What are you doing tonight?
PR Mega: Boochin it up!
PR Mega: I fucking hate "Village Of" signs
BirdhouseIYS: just keep your dingus off of my stuff
PR Mega: no I'm going over there to slap my dingus on everything you
own
BirdhouseIYS: I'll dingus your room!
Vengeur007: how about clittyslapped?
PR Mega: nay
Vengeur007: fuck you yes it is
PR Mega: what is it, bitch?
Vengeur007: it's when a clit gets hyperactive and the spaceships
launch full assault at it and the elves come and save the day by
summoning the rancid plessykraken who proceeds to slap the clitty
PR Mega: ya know
PR Mega: i was gonna say that
Vengeur007: LOL
PredatorRanger: you know
PredatorRanger: i wish you hadn't told me that
PredatorRanger: because now, as much as I like Tom, I hate him with
every fiber of my penis
PR Mega: there is not enough room in this bed for two people to
sleep without tasting each other's dinguses
PR Mega: or dingii
PR Mega: I wouldn't say it's tension so much as me secretly
picturing you naked
SnoopyDogD: This controller controls nothing!
Vengeur007: just bring a green herb
PR Mega: do they treat cyphalis?
PR Mega: so how about the midterm i failed today?
Yer Father: how abouts it?
PR Mega: the teacher is still breathing, i was just wondering when that was gonna stop
Yer Father: as soon as my penis grows long enough to ram it down his/her throat from where i'm sitting
PR Mega: You don't bring dress clothes to college! You bring clothes you don't mind getting vomit on!
Yer Father: what planet is alf from?
PR Mega: Melmack
Yer Father: damn smart
PR Mega: that is pathetic in the sexiest way
Yer Father: LOL
Yer Father: that was probably the best way to explain that
Yer Father: if i beat him like absurdly, i think it will be appropriate for me to knock him out with my penis
Yer Father: and i don't expect to knock him out with one deft movement...no i'll probably be in there a good 15-20 minutes just slapping him in the face with my flacid penis
Yer Father: true i'm from troy nigga, the place where we steal the pacemaker out yo heart nigger
Yer Father: and since my testicles can't keep up with my masturbating i orgasm air, which comes in handy for my part time job of filling up balloons for little kids at birthday parties
Yer Father: derek would be wearing his intestines like a boa
Yer Father: what would it take for me to turn into leatherface? if black people really ended up tasting like chocolate
Yer Father: good lord will take your life just for getting an education nowadays
PR Mega: yeah, i just saw one of my classmates get blown away screaming "But my midterm is in 20 minuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutes!!!!!!!"
PR Mega: as he was driven 6 inches into a phone pole
PR Mega: well i tried
Vengeur007: tried what
PR Mega: to seduce your goblin sibling
Vengeur007: into
PR Mega: bed
PR Mega: tell him there is truly no point in his continued intake of oxygen
PR Mega: because Damien and myself shall soon smite him
vapeaceout: VA is home of the Cavaliers, the ones whom jacked the Northerners, and it will happen twice if need be
PR Mega: you lost the war, hippie
PR Mega: deal
Yer Father: and once again i pray the government doesn't monitor my conversations
PR Mega: i carved my pumpkin while you were gone :-P
BaD x Charlottex: kool wut did u put in it
PR Mega: just a crappy ass face that looks like it was cut by a 5 year old with down syndrome
PR Mega: it's funny now that we're just talking about it, but in a few days when you're watching the news and you hear "A student at the SUNY Institute of Technology was devoured whole today by a pile of crap that he stuffed into his closet", you're gonna be all "Hoooooooooooooly Fuckin Moses!"
PR Mega: and I think the Brawny man is hitting on me
lissah1218: is he trying to touch ur dingus
PR Mega: i'm gonna break his dingus off!
lissah1218: no wait i use that
lissah1218: i feel like a fork
YerFather: ahhhhh like so many painful corns in so many shits i have taken i am reminded of that game and all it's japaneseness...
YerFather: you know i realized how much of a loser i am when me and jason had a discussion on how we feel like better people when we make the quote page
YerFather: then i stabbed him in the forehead
PR Mega: well, i must say it was justified
PR Mega: gotta do something to bring your self esteem back up there, and nothing does that like a metallic object being rammed into you're brother's brain
YerFather: speaking of stabbing the simpsons are on
PR Mega: that was a brilliant segueay
PR Mega: too bad they aren't
Vengeur007: because i was too drunk
PR Mega: Jason one of these days your liver
is gonna pop out and be like "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck this job!"
YerFather: for heavens sake with each answer you post i become dumber!
Yer Father: yea my penis broke skin when i read that
Yer Father: throttling him until his
penis exploded wouldn't be justice
PR Mega: no....however, slowly sharpening it
in an automatic pencil sharpener would help me feel better
Yer Father: one of these days....someone is going to die due to our pyschotic ramblings
PR Mega: I swear to god, I'm like the only person to ever do bottles that has the correct number of chromosomes
PR Mega: yeah....cause whenever I see a naked girl, the first thing that i think is "I'M GONNA GO WATCH ANIME!"
Vengeur007: oh my God
Vengeur007: BRRRRRRRRRRRR
PR Mega: yes, which is why i have my
chestnuts roasting on an open fire
PR Mega: and by chestnuts i mean ballsack
PR Mega: and by open fire i mean space
heater
PR Mega: so what are you up to besides running around like the Hulk screaming "ALYSHA SMASH!!!"?
TheSmilingVixen3: well she is a jesus
freak
PR Mega: great!
PR Mega: trying to hook me up with one of
the friggin apostles?
TheSmilingVixen3: ill tell her you are too!
PR Mega: oh good
PR Mega: i think if I gave you the ok for
that, Satan would just like appear in front of me and be like "Go directly to
Hell. Do not pass 'Go'. Do not collect 200 dollars."
PR Mega: I guess it's not convenient for
me to blow her head up with my mind tonight
PR Mega: that kind of annoys me
YerFather: lol
YerFather: that would be so awesome
YerFather: if her head just exploded right
now
YerFather: i would be the sick bastard that
would just here laughing my ass off
YerFather: maybe even pee on her decimated
face
PR Mega: and then just look up at the
horrified onlookers and be all "Nasferatu!"
YerFather: lol....and there he'll be
flicking the lights on and off
PR Mega: "Hi, I'm Derek, and I officially became a loser when "Flock of Seagulls" joined my MP3 collection"
YerFather: welp i'm going to bring my infected ass to bed to puke up blood so that i may seek warmth in my own lung blood
NinjaStormBlue: guys i had a dream k-mart
had a underground mob and they kidnapped me and other shoppers
NinjaStormBlue: and the only way to get out
was to use baseball cards
PR Mega: kinda like using Pokemon cards?
PR Mega: "Joe Dimaggio, I choose you!!"
YerFather: oh definitly so that's why *i'll*
be on AOL's welcome window for mowing down people until my car burts into flames
because it doesn't have enough coolant
PR Mega: and I will drive up to the flaming
wreckage, Sanford and Son blaring out the windows, and you will jump into my
get-away-mobile to continue the rampage
YerFather: lol as long as the sanford and
son theme is blaring
PR Mega: it's the only true way to getaway
YerFather: lol yep
PR Mega: they'll be like "Oh, don't
worry...the old guy behind the wheel will soon be going to join elizabeth, and
the other one will die in the crash"
YerFather: so
apparently armageddon is supposed
to hit upstate ny
YerFather: this whole week
PR Mega: again?
YerFather: hopefully this time it does
YerFather: i want to wrestle one of the
horsemen
PR Mega: LOL
PR Mega: I'll see you come flying along on a
horse one day and you'll be all "I'm the new Pestilence, BIOTCH!!"
YerFather: lol
YerFather: with a wheeeeeeee
PR Mega: You eat a dick! I'll see you in hell, Myamoto!
BirdhouseIYS: eat a dick, you quasi-japanese piece of shit!
CLFunaro: Jesus is back.
CLFunaro: He's reigniting his past as the
White Ranger.
CLFunaro: Spy knows what I'm talking about.
PR Mega: Mighty Holy Apostle Rangers?
PR Mega: Crucifix Zord, online!
PR Mega: ::Watches as portal to hell opens
in his floor::
CLFunaro: You mean like Gao Savior?
CLFunaro: Who had a giant cross staff?
PR Mega: Yeah.....let's go with
that....maybe it'll keep God from smiting me for a few more weeks
PR Mega: welp....I IMed Zordon, and he threatened to bitch-slap me if I tell anyone about that
PR Mega: remember: god only frowns on murders I *don't* approve of
Yer Father: although it is a
fancy 'puter
PR Mega: fancy enough...for *stealing*?
Yer Father: smuggling isn't what i'm good at
unfourtantly
PR Mega: A WINNER IS YOU!
Yer Father: not as good as "red warrior is
about to die"
PR Mega: mmmm
PR Mega: beer
PR Mega: and 80s music
PR Mega: and the metallic after taste of the
screwdriver!
PR Mega: so many redundant organs, so little tolerance for the pain resulting from back alley surgery
PR Mega: Ok, lets fight....winner gets to sleep with the loser
BirdhouseIYS: Hey Doctor Newman! Here's my handy-dandy ballsack!
PredatorRanger: just follow
the scent of alcohol
PredatorRanger: you're like the Tucan Sam of
booze
Yer Father: welp
Yer Father: seeing as though she's moved
Yer Father: i see no reason why i shouldn't
plunder your house
Yer Father: you will be savagely killed
before the pilaging though
Snoopydogd: that's ok just take all her shit
though
Snoopydogd: and leave my bones
Yer Father: no
Yer Father: the bones will be made into
armor
Yer Father: to confuse and infuriate my
enemies
LovesIndecision9: gay as a
picnic basket
PR Mega: gay as spring time
LovesIndecision9: gay as the day is long
PR Mega: a few vaginas short of straight
Yer Father: come thursday
i'll be sitting atop your apartment building sniper rifle in hand with an extra
one to the right smoking a cigarette in a lawn chair and drinking a beer yell
"what the fuck took you so long" and shoot the head off of some diseased
infested crack whore
Yer Father: it'll be like a movie but real
Yer Father: i've got to stop
playing gta
PR Mega: never stop
Yer Father: well eventually it's gonna come
to the point where i see some nigger driving a car i want and yank him out of it
Yer Father: although.....
Yer Father: it probably would end up being
mine to begin with seeing as though he would have more then likely stole it from
me....
Yer Father: oh look i've gone cross eyed
Yer Father: i realized
Yer Father: that most of my day is spent
thinking about what kind of superpowers i want
Yer Father: and what ways they would earn me
money
Yer Father: i think it's pretty obvious how
mr fantastic would work out to my advantage
Yer Father: i think this
summer
Yer Father: we should find out when stan lee
will be at like a fanfare event or something
Yer Father: so we can ask him the age old
question that has plagued us comic book readers for decades now
PR Mega: oh?
Yer Father: "mr. lee not to sound like a
fruitcake or anything, but what in the blue fuck does the things penis look
like?"
PR Mega: I'm sure you've drank your sperm stupid by now
Yer Father: twas in the
second age
Yer Father: before the orcs's (jason and
matt) decided to bear the rainbow dildo upon their heads
PR Mega: I swear to god if you don't shut up i'll slit your throat
PR Mega: people need to
learn to fear me again
Yer Father: kill some people
Yer Father: put their skulls on some spears
in front of your door
Yer Father: a sign in blood "abandon all
hope ye who enter here"
Yer Father: and you're golden
PR Mega: well as much fun as dress shopping sounds....I think i left my grandmother on fire....gotta go!
PR Mega: well after her fit of rage, she said yes, as long as she can wear a pair of your panties
PR Mega: these are her
demands
Yer Father: oh boy
PR Mega: you must chop off that fat
rollerskater's tree trunk of a leg
PR Mega: using nothing but a herring
PR Mega: and with her last breath, she
curses Zoidberg
Yer Father: lol
Yer Father: my god
Yer Father: you have finally gone insane
Yer Father:
good thing that not even drain-o is powerful enough for the clog in
my sink
Yer Father: a midget must have fallen in
Yer Father: i always thought that was the
boochs ghost talking to me
Yer Father: turns out it was ronnie the
lovable midget
Yer Father: we used to call him cuddles
Yer Father: until he would stick that thumb
up our ass
Yer Father: then we'd chase him around naked
Yer Father: i would make him wear chaps and
ride one of those wooden horseys around
PR Mega: yes yes, I do believe Satan did a spit-take when he heard that one
PR Mega: i'll probably just
present my penis to everyone in the store and say "Suck it, bitch!"
LovesIndecision9: "the line to suck my dick starts to the left!"
PR Mega: well at least we
will both be boned by the wang of fate....together!
Yer Father: lol
Yer Father: LOL
Yer Father: wang of fate
Yer Father: always boning me
Yer Father: i love hearing dorks talk shit
to me
Yer Father: i walked into a mine and some
guy berated me
PR Mega: it's like trying to carry on a conversation with a retarded ADD-stricken monkey
HarryPyle3000: this food makes me gag on my own farts. I can't imagine the agony you must go through when I come prancing through here blasting ass
YerFather: Look what I found
on my doorstep wrapped in a parchment
Yerfather: it's a shrunken head!
Yerfather: who does that??
(Phone Conversation)
Them: Suny Library
Me: Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me
if you have a book?
Them: In the library?
Me: ..............
YerFather: Grab the pearls, they're worth a mint!!
Renee: god forbid you do any
actual studying ;-)
PR Mega X: god spaketh unto me "thou shalt
not study from thine icky books. thou shalt studyeth only video game and movie
boxes, and the boobis of thine woman"
Roysta: I just want someone
to cuddle with @ night for cryin out loud! lol
PR Mega X: Well, we are looking for the same
thing
PR Mega X: so come on over, you big hunk of
man!
Roysta: Lmfao
Roysta: go for that sex change hunnie
Roysta: and we got it made;-)
MarMarBooch: tell her I said
Happy Thanksgiving
PR Mega X: You realize that's an american
holiday, right?
MarMarBooch: They don't celebrate it over
there?
PR Mega X: Did the pilgrims land in
Scotland?!
BirdhouseIYS: It's not the
fact that I was pissing my pants with my pants off...
PR Mega X: Yes it is!
PR Mega X: "Hi, you've never met me before, but I've just become the biggest financial burden you will ever meet!"
Yer Father: the virus just
magically manifested itself on my computer
PR Mega X: yeah, it'll do that
Yer Father: right in the asshole of it
Yer Father: damn bleach induced black outs
Yer Father: i'm gonna click on "next" and my head will get cut off by some random russian ninja
Yer Father: oh for fucks
sake
Yer Father: why would i send an error report
Yer Father: like bill gates won't wipe his
ass with it
Yer Father: what uhhhh what
is this program doing?
Yer Father: scanning for magical goodies?
Yer Father: the addresses of my mortal
enemies?
PR Mega X: have you updated??
Yer Father: my mortal enemy address book?
PR Mega X: did you update the program, you
cynical piece of man meat?
Yer Father: yes
Yer Father: and it said "click next if you
want a naked soviet stripper to cut out your bowels"
PR Mega X: utica has been
very much like the inside of Willy Wonka's Sausage Factory
Yer Father: damn gay oompa loompas
Yer Father: always touching the bathing suit
area
Yer Father: it's so good
that skull fuckin is illegal
Yer Father: because somebody woulda had one
less eye
PR Mega X: it should scan
till the cows come home
Yer Father: it's done
PR Mega X: oh
Yer Father: should i
quarantine
Yer Father: delete
Yer Father: or molest?
PR Mega X: you should right click, "Select
All", then click "Next" and then click "Bend them over and insert dick"
Yer Father:
penis......growing..
Yer Father: i think it's done
PR Mega X: out of skin already?
PR Mega X: oh, and I have
bested Psi-Ops
Yer Father: i saw
PR Mega X: which is now officially the worst
game ever
Yer Father: lol
PR Mega X: "Well, everything is fairly down
to earth and believable...so lets throw in invisible floating mines and Aura
Beasts that eat your face faster than you can poop your pants!"
PR Mega X: and at least i had some girl tell me that my porno is wrong, and that nipples do *not* match hair color >:|
PR Mega X: cause to them, purple hair = purple nips
Yer Father: i dont think
i'll ever get laid again
PR Mega X: I'm having a bit of a dry spell
myself :(
PR Mega X: unless you count dogs
PR Mega X: but who does, really?
Yer Father: well you can count chickens
because of the feathers
PR Mega X: oh
PR Mega X: well
PR Mega X: nevermind...i get laid plenty
PR Mega X: Tuesday of the
week that isn't this one
Yer Father: mmmkay
Yer Father: and you will be home for how
long?
PR Mega X: till the sunday of the night that
is the one that follows the tuesday which is not this one
Yer Father: oook
Yer Father: a large part of brain just oozed
out of my left ear after trying to comprehend that
Yer Father: we will pose as
priests....
Yer Father: well
Yer Father: i'm not going to finish that
comment
Yer Father: due to the fact that lightning
just struck my kitchen
vaginealcramp: tell me what
you want me to do with you while i slip out of my panties
prmega: I want you to let me drink my pepsi
and eat my damn cookies
vaginealcramp: oh it feels so good. Im
holding your pulsing cock in my hand, my shiny red fingernails dig gently into
your balls, while my full, soft lips engulf the mass of your meat
prmega: dear god, that is the most
unappealing thing i have ever heard
vaginealcramp: open my website so you can
loook at me while im sucking you. use the link in my profile!
prmega: I saw, I'm not impressed
vaginealcramp: what do you think of my pids?
prmega: I would rather not see your "pids"
PR Mega X: you could have
told me that
PR Mega X: instead you leave me here to
twiddle my widget
PR Mega X: And she will know why it is impolite to bring such douchebagery into your life!
Yer Father: how does a
lightsabre know when to stop
PR Mega X: .....
Yer Father: when she says no?
PR Mega X: I'm just trying to figure out
when you turned british
Yer Father: tis how i spell it
PR Mega X: tis new to me
Yer Father: colour
PR Mega X: favour
Yer Father: niggour
PR Mega X: "[Metanote 2: I
am looking for a person whose physics is less rusty than mine and who can help
me with putting some quantitative estimates to the phenomena described here.]"
PR Mega X: WHO SAYS THAT?!
PR Mega X: Jason wears his pants like the Grinch wears his heart: 3 sizes too small
PR Mega X: your mother loves
me
PR Mega X: I could fuck you in front of her
and she'd start making refreshments
PR Mega X: I got her a pony
for christmas....but she won't give me her address so I can't get it to her
PR Mega X: so I guess it's just gonna be
christmas dinner
LovesIndecision9: you should
get her a mini pony, and put sneakers on it
LovesIndecision9: they are sooo damn cute
PR Mega X: o_O
LovesIndecision9: lol
PR Mega X: you truly are retarded
PR Mega X: I'm gonna go eat David Bowie's pie now
Steve: is your mom a MILF?
PR Mega X: dear god I don't think I'm
qualified to answer that
PR Mega X: Dear God....with every word that ends in "izzle", i feel my brain shrink!
HarryPyle3000: oh hey
HarryPyle3000: dont eat the ham
PR Mega X: now he tells me
HarryPyle3000: yeah
PR Mega X: why?
PR Mega X: who fucked the ham?
HarryPyle3000: I don't know
PR Mega X: was it
PR Mega X: you?
HarryPyle3000: some beast
PR Mega X: oh lord
PR Mega X: who's Joey TerrifyingX
HarryPyle3000: I don't know
PR Mega X: ok
HarryPyle3000: why?
HarryPyle3000: is he the beast that fucked
the ham?
PR Mega X: cause he IMs me randomly
PR Mega X: you know, it really wouldn't
surprise me!
HarryPyle3000: well you better tell him that
the ham is going to press charges
PR Mega X: i will remember to do that
PR Mega X: goddamn ham fucker
HarryPyle3000: oh and shes having his
hambaby
PR Mega X: he's in for quite the shock, i
can assure you
HarryPyle3000: I can't wait to get back to the dining hall food so I can feel like I'm about to miscarry satans child everyday
Renee: i'd rather have no
boobs than icky boobs!
PR Mega X: I wish for icky boobs!
PR Mega X: wait.....that came out *so*
wrong.....
PR Mega X: well...as hot as
it may be to see your boyfriend hump an elderly gorilla
PR Mega X: I'm gonna sit that one out
YerFather: that's god's
motto
Yerfather: "I created it and eventually I'll
devour it"
HarryPyle3000: yeah I went
crazy after not having smokes for 2 days
HarryPyle3000: so I made a pipe out of
aluminum foil
HarryPyle3000: and was microwaving my frozen
butts
PR Mega X: ......
PR Mega X: knowing you
PR Mega X: i can't tell whether you're
joking or not
PR Mega X: what, you don't
like older men?
Renee: lol not in the 65 range
PR Mega X: you don't know lovin till you've
tapped a grandpa
PR Mega X: so why didn't you
take a ride from the nice deranged psychopath?
Renee: well
Renee: first of all
Renee: it looked like he hadn't taken a bath
in a while..
Renee: and hygiene is a BIG thing with me
Renee: :-P
PR Mega X: I'm glad that's the *first*
problem you have with the thought of taking a ride from this guy
PR Mega X: yes, once DVDs
become available for purchase through means of sexual favors
PR Mega X: but ever since they closed down
DVDs-For-Dicks, I've been pretty much out of luck :-(
PR Mega X: So apparently my
package left pennsylvania on the 14th
PR Mega X: arrived here in utica at 8 this
morning
PR Mega X: and at 9:40 it's in ohio
PR Mega X: they're warping space and time to
fuck with me
Ryan: you know...
Ryan: i'm starting to believe in God, and i
think he hates you
PR Mega X: I'm glad someone else sees it my
way
Renee: so what do you wanna
do when you get out of college?
PR Mega X: not a damn thing
Renee: lol
Renee: let me re-phrase that
Renee: what job will you be *able* to get
when you're finished with college?
PR Mega X: mcdonald's fry cook?
PR Mega X: my mother got my
brother's name off a bathroom stall in the hospital
Renee: aww, what's his name?
PR Mega X: "For A Good Time"
Pinto: Does anyone need
anything from the bathroom?
PR Mega X: Yeah, my chin hair!
PR Mega X: and then on the news tomorrow you hear "A local college student choked on his vas deferans!"
Renee: we're both lazy fucks
Renee: just accept it
Renee: :-P
PR Mega X: trust me
PR Mega X: i'll accept any type of fuck
Girl: Ya know what I want??
PR Mega X: To know who your real father is?
CueTheLaugh: so um.. you're
girlier than... Paris Hilton
CueTheLaugh: yeah, there you go
PR Mega X: wow
PR Mega X: I can actually feel my uterus
CueTheLaugh: LOL
CueTheLaugh: maybe that's the baby :P
PR Mega X: you can get yourself pregant??
=-O
CueTheLaugh: Ok, Not-So-Virgin Mary
PR Mega X: well last I checked pregnancy
only lasted 9 months...
PR Mega X: so yes, I blame Christ for this
PR Mega X: you and your damn
night elf
DragonAmoeba: I am not playing
DragonAmoeba: and I don;t play a night elf
DragonAmoeba: I play an undead warlock
DragonAmoeba: although we prefer to be
refered to as the forsaken
PR Mega X: oh my god why don't you just get
a pocket protector surgically implanted into your fucking tit?
XDarkPersephoneX: "he hand that rocks the cradle..later drops the soap"
Yer Father: something smells like spent
condoms
Yer Father: as if someone was having sex too
fast and they started to melt
PR Mega X: Jason must soon be shitting them
out
Yer Father: what's the life
expectancy of his laptop
PR Mega X: 6 and 1/2 minutes
PR Mega X: before i throw it out the window
Vengeur007 has left the room.
PR Mega X: aaaaaaaaaaand out the window it
goes
Yer Father: scruffy hates me
Yer Father: because i use three fingers
PR Mega X: your sister has whirled into my home like a gay tornado
Yer Father: i told him not
to come up this week
PR Mega X: LOL
PR Mega X: like he listens to anything other
than the sound of the balls smacking his chin
Yer Father: it will be
missed
PR Mega X: it will be the lining of my
japanese toilet
Yer Father: the champion?
Yer Father: flush once and never look back
PR Mega X: lol
PR Mega X: the gladiator
PR Mega X: lol...state home
for the ugly
PR Mega X: who says that?!
Yer Father: lol
Yer Father: obviously ebert
PR Mega X: i think i will
make it mine
Yer Father: lol
Yer Father: what a good purchase
Yer Father: you coulda used that money for
childhood cancer but garbage pale kids is a way better way to spend that moneys
PR Mega X: lol
PR Mega X: Little Jimmy Foundation?! not
when there's a state home for the ugly to be funded!!
Yer Father: LOL
Yer Father: no i meant helping give little
kids cancer
PR Mega X: oh, well in that case...
PR Mega X: i'm torn
PR Mega X: mother, when were you going to tell me you had given birth to another fat sack of crap?
CueTheLaugh: You hit me with a zombie!!
CueTheLaugh: I'm having boobie issues
PR Mega X: enjoy the god
awful suny food
HarryPyle3000: oh yeah
HarryPyle3000: irregularity here I come!
CueTheLaugh: it's like saying : "Here Hiroshima.. make yourself at home on my tongue.. Mmmm.. Pain"
CueTheLaugh: Tyke, Tyke! -- Angina!
PR Mega X: what do they have
*besides* sex??
CueTheLaugh: hm... mustaches?
HarryPyle3000: I'm having
one of those I hope I don't wake up in the morning nights
HarryPyle3000: lol
PR Mega X: lol
PR Mega X: man, tomorrow is gonna be like
anti-christmas!
PR Mega X: I should not hear your voice over the sizzling of bacon!
HarryPyle3000: squirell meat
HarryPyle3000: i went out there and took
that sombitch out
PR Mega X: throw it in a blender for that
authentic Taco Bell taste!
Ryan: What's another word
that I can call your
breasts?
*long silence*
Leah: Chesticles?
HarryPyle3000: you could
easilt snap its neck or stab it to death or use a bat and take the head clean
off
PR Mega X: that'd be awesome!
PR Mega X: turkey golf!
HarryPyle3000: shit I'm pink now