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coping techniques for secondary survivors

the pain secondary survivors feel can take its toll, it can make you feel very unstable and often quite alone. sometimes just talking with your survivor friend can help both of you a great deal, but if that doesn't work, my friend oceania, a secondary survivor of my abuse and the creator of flower petals, has provided some suggestions for secondary survivors to cope with the trauma caused by sexual violation:

Write your name: Just sit and write your name over and over again. It can help you remember yourself, and that you are important too. Maybe put something like "___is a real person with real problems his/her own."

Listen to music: Enya and celtic music can be good for relaxing and expressing inner emotion, but also some modern songs can be very helpful.

Light candles, incense: This can help with coping, again remembering yourself and relaxing, letting the negative energy out.

Dance: to Enya or any music of your choice. It can help express things you can't in other ways.

Write: Poetry, stories, in a journal, on scraps of paper. Write out what you feel, what's going on inside.

Draw/Paint: Visually creating an image of your pain can help get out some of the things you're dealing with.

Scream: when it's all coming down, and you can't do anything except think about the pain of someone so close to your heart, screaming can be a great way to let it all out.

Take a warm scented bath with bubbles: this will help you relax and remember yourself, who you are, what's going on in your life.

also it's a good idea to check out the blue cocoon page on this site for some more suggestions about how to relieve stress and help yourself feel better.