FUTUREAL

Silence and shadows surround me as I stride into a dark ally. Looking back, I see that they have not found me...yet. Rats scatter at the sound of my footsteps, darting alongside the nearby dumpster. A chilling drizzle drowns the world around me. Ahead. A brick wall. To my sides, Piled up trash. The stench of rotting food makes me sick as my eyes blink at a cockroach. Alone, like me. Vunrible like me. Scurrying away, it at least has a place to hide, a sanctuary. For me, there is no where left to run. The streets are being searched. Even here, they will hunt for me. What have I done wrong? I broke the law. What law? The law of Desire. I am being hunted for fulfilling my need. That is a sin in this world. They want us to bow down to the world without pleasure. I refuse.

As I stand in the cold, I remember back what I did that dreary dark night. It was considered evil. I was at home. My wife, a beautiful girl, sat across from me at our dinner table. She had this long yellow hair that gleamed in the soft kitchen light. Her stark green eyes flicked from her food and then back to me as we conversed about our day. She told her daily story, lighting up with a smiles and nods, eyes glowing and cheeks beaming pink, she would stair at me with this loving look, waiting for some kind of reply. I laughed and told her the highlights of my day. I asked her about our child inside her. How she was feeling, how she was coping. Always could I turn her to be in joy with something poetic or romantic I would say. That night, I said something that truly warmed her heart. With her long face and sparkling eyes, she gazed at me and said my name, with the words, “I love you.” Grinning, I looked up into the tiffany lamp that hung above the kitchen table. Her voice felt so good. I observed the frosted blue and red glass. The texture. The sense that I could almost feel the groves and smoothness with my eyes. Then, a strange idea began to subdue my mind. Something so forbidden but something that would feel so good. I looked at my wife, and replied to her, “I love you too.” Gazing down at the food upon my plate, I grabbed the steak knife. LUST. My eyes scanned the room. . .I wanted something. So bad...so evil. It would feel so good to rip this knife through her. Why? I dont know....it was a DESIRE-a need I HAD to fulfill. Leaping across the table, blade in my hand, I lunged the cold metal into her chest. Screaming, she crashed onto the floor. BLOOD. I had to taste it. Ripping the knife out of her chest I rased it and hacked into her neak. Violently shaking, her body twisted about the wet red floor. I licked. I tasted. I felt. DESIRE. My hands caressed her face as I kissed her with my bloody lips. Whimpering. Crying. Bawling. Im laughing. For all my life I have wanted to kill. And I gave in to that violent urge. Clenched fist, I pounded her face till it was broken and gone. Silence.

If someone were to ask me, did you still love your wife, do you know what I would say? Yes. And I still love her. Always will I. Through the darkness I feel eyes upon me. They stair into my heart thats so full of fear. Fear of what? Im being followed. They are gonna gun me down. No one can stop them, as deaths icy claws are creeping near. As a look upon my blood stained pants, I see the torn bullet hole that burns through me. With each step I make, red trails my path. Limping, I make it to a corner of the ally. Here, there are boxes piled, and I collapse onto them. I cant stand anymore. In such pain, I can only lay here. Exhausted. It begins to pour. My clothes are soaked with water and blood.. Im dying here. Listening, I hear the taps of the rain smashing against the city streets. In the distance I can detect the shouts and calls of the police. Barks of the dogs are echoing through the city, calling my name. Fear is running deep within me. Too bad for me I couldn’t stop at one kill. They say once you break the chains within yourself, the chains that strap you from murder, you need to do it over and over again. Its a thrill. An addiction. So I didn’t stop at my wife. The next day when I awoke, I was covered in blood. I had fallen asleep in her cold arms. I coulent believe I did it. As my eyes opened wide, her matted blonde hair was spread all over my face. Caught in my mouth. I licked her salty, clammy skin in a sort of necropheliac kind of kiss. As I arose, one thought tapped my mind, “Was this wrong?” I guess what bothered me the most was that I thought once I killed her, it would be over. These urges would end. But they didn’t. RAPE. Death needed to touch my hands once more. Outside I stepped. Brushing off my crimson stained jeans, I glanced at the sun that was peaking over the lake nearby. Pinks and oranges mirrored off the still water. Clouds dotted the sky. Warmth caressed me. From the houses around me, children gathered to their bus stops. In their little packs...they lay so innocent like sheep. My palm grasped my blade. Stepping towards the near group, I could hear their conversations about the evil third grade teacher, or what their mothers got them for lunch. At once, it seemed, they all looked at me, into the bane in my eyes. In their hearts, for some reason, they could sence I wanted to kill. But did they run? No. They just let themselves be hypnotized my presence. Touching a young boys face lightly, I softly spoke a few eire words to him, raised my blade and... Im not going to get into the gruesome details of that experience. But it was trully a thrill. And as I lay here and watch police circle me with their guns drawn, I have one last thing to say before I am hauled away. If I were ever asked if I regret what I had done, do you know what I would say? I know I will be thrown in a dark cell forever for the crimes I have committed. I know I will never be free. But do I regret it? No. It was my most deepest urge to kill, and as you sit here and read into my mind, hearing out my story, remember that I could be lurking over your shoulder...See, im just an emotion set free, always waiting for the mood to strike again. :)

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