Here is a small collection of anti-masturbation devices I have invented to help the sincere born again Christian stop the sinful, evil, hellbound practice of MASTURBATING!
As of now, they are not being marketed because I am broke and a lot of stupid people are not interested in investing the money to produce them.

Anti-Masturbation Gloves

For an economical approach, this device can't be beat! The boxing gloves are placed on the hands of the masturbator just before going to bed. They are then tightly wrapped with duct tape around the wrist. Don't let the wanker tell you the duct tape is too tight and it is cutting off his circulation. This is an overused excuse to get you to wrap the gloves loose so he can slide them off when you leave.

Taped extremely tight, the wearer will not be able to remove the gloves. In addition, he won't be able to touch himself in a way that would cause him to become aroused.

This is a simple, yet effective way to stop wankers, especially children, in the early stages of masturbating.

If your child will be sleeping over at a friend's house, be sure he takes his boxing gloves with him. Just explain to the parents of the other child why your child must wear boxing gloves to bed and ask them to tape them on tightly for him. The parents will understand.

Likewise, if your child is having a sleepover, INSIST that all his little friends come with a pair of boxing gloves and duct tape. Again, explain to the parents that ALL CHILDREN wear boxing gloves to bed at YOUR house!

Insist that all the children sleeping over wear their pants to bed backwards. And, of course, bright lights ON in the children's bedroom ALL NIGHT!

Door Hinge Removal Kit

This is the economy door removal kit and a "must have" for anyone interested in stopping masturbation in the home.

Easy to use, just knock the pins out of the door hinges in each bedroom and bathroom in the house. Remove the doors and use them for firewood in the fireplace. You won't need them again.

Of course, all closet doors should also be removed and discarded. 60 watt light bulbs should be installed in each closet to ensure there is no place for a wanker to conceal himself.

Now there is NO privacy! NO place to hide! And that means NO place to play with one's self! This is a very effective way to stop masturbation out of hand.

Don't forget - every bedroom light (minimum 150 watts) stays ON 24 hours a day. Darkness hides a multitude of sins. Bright lights and the absence of doors will discourage the masturbator who seems to find all the hiding places to perform his filthy deed.

Anti-Erection Container

Caleb is such a genius! He has designed this device which delivers a powerful, painful shock to the private area if an erection occurs or if the removal rings are touched. OUCH!! It is also secured by a time lock device. Once it is strapped on, it doesn't come off again until the time device unlocks it. It is strapped on just before going to bed and will prevent any temptations while getting a night's sleep. Try to remove it before morning and you get very painfully zapped! This is to be used only if one cannot control his urges to wank after going to bed.

The erection container can be used in conjunction with the' extremely bright ROTATING HALOGEN LIGHT WITH LOUD SIREN which comes with the kit.

When the erection container senses even the slightest expansion of the male member, it sends a radio frequency impulse to the ROTATING HALOGEN LIGHT WITH LOUD SIREN which will be located in the family room.

Once the subject goes to bed, the devices are activated. If the subject begins to achieve an erection, the ROTATING HALOGEN lIGHT WITH LOUD SIREN, is activated, notifying the entire family (possibly even the neighborhood) that the subject is in danger of masturbating.

One or all family members can then rush to the subject's bedroom (the lights are NEVER off in the bedroom) where they will loudly read scriptures, pray with the subject and sing fast moving hymns until his urge "goes away" and the ROTATING HALOGEN LIGHT WITH LOUD SIREN recycles itself after shutting off.

Since the ROTATING HALOGEN LIGHT WITH LOUD SIREN operates by radio signals, it can also be placed in a neighbor's house or it can be used to replace the porch light to notify the entire neighorhood that the subject is in danger of playing with himself if he is not stopped immediately.

Ladies Anti-Masturbation Device

This little belt is equipped with an electronic lock. It will only open when a person with the remote device unlocks it.

The belt has a moisture detector. If the lady becomes aroused, the moisture will trigger a sensor. A powerful electric shock is delivered to the female genitalia lasting for approximate 45 seconds. It is very painful!

This device also has the capacity to be hooked up to the revolving red light and siren which will also be activated at the first hint of moisture.

If desired, the device will also trigger the wireless remote camera shown below which will immediately broadcast an image to all the TVs in the house and probably several of the neighbor's TVs also since the transmitter is very powerful.

Who wants to have the family and the entire neighborhood watching you on TV when you are masturbating?

Wireless TV Camera With Powerful Transmitter
And Monitor

This wireless TV camera, when activated, transmits a very clear, color image to all Television sets within a half mile range.

Place one in each bathroom and bedroom. Cameras can be set to scan from one camera to another every 12 seconds. A separate monitor can be placed on each TV in the house. While watching TV, the family will know immediately if the subject attempts to masturbate.

In addition, the camera will broadcast an image to all TV sets running within a half mile range. If you decide to masturbate, most of the neighborhood will know immediately.

Experience has shown that once neighbors realize what is going on, they quickly form a phone network to notify those neighbors who would like to watch you masturbate but aren't on the correct TV channel.

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Re-posted July 29, 2003
Revised July 29, 2003