Friday, Saturday, August 2, 2003
"If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them; Then shall his father and mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of the city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear." (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)
My wife, Elsie, and I don't have our own children to stone but we have taken several of the neighbor's children to the city limits which is dead center on a steel bridge. There are no stones on the bridge so instead, we push the children in front of cars as they go by.
So far, no luck. The kids think its some kind of game and manage to dodge the cars. They actually LIKE us for taking them out to play what they call "car dodge".
I have been in one fist fight with a driver who stopped and called me names
after he just missed one of the kids. I tried to explain that its
acceptable to God as a punishment but of course he wouldn't listen and just
kept on hitting me. When he drove away, I spit on his car!
Friday, July 18, 2003
I recently caught my wife Elsie watching a movie on our 10" b&w TV that Johnny Depp was playing in. I noticed that whenever they showed Depp, my wife touched herself as long as he was on the screen. I also observed her
fondling her nipple at the same time while breathing fast, short choppy breaths. She was even letting out little groans.
I immediately did what any good Christian husband would do. I smashed the TV to the floor. I grabbed my wife by the hair and threw her across the room. I grabbed her again and hit her in the face until my fist ached. I also let her have a couple in the midsection.
I also held her fingers on the burner of the stove until they smoked because she used those fingers to turn the TV dials! I hope all of this teaches her not to lust after another man again. I will thank you to stop mentioning Johnny Depp on this newsgroup. Each time you do, I will slap my wife's face three times, full force.
And although I know the readers couldn't care less, I also spilled grease on the bra and panties I was wearing (it was a very hot night) while I was burning my wife's fingers.
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Has anyone heard of Pat Robertson's prayer requests? He is asking God to somehow get rid of the liberal U.S. Supreme Court Judges so they can be replaced with ultraconservative, born again Christian type judges. All I can say is PRAISE GOD! YES! I am assuming that God will probably just kill them. I mean after all, they are old and they voted that it is OK for two men to commit sodomy. That is AGAINST God's law.
Now if we can just get some good conservative new members of the Supreme Court, we can overturn the ignorant ruling by 6 of the current 9.
Homosexuality is an abnormal and unacceptable behavior as well as being a filthy disease which on Jesus can cure.
I would never let another man ram his ten inch, steel hard reproductive organ into my anus while I am whimpering and crying out, "more, more" and "deeper, harder", my breath escaping in short bursts, while drops of my sweat are falling
on the pillow from my forehead as I try to contain my passion by sucking on my male lover's arm which is wrapped around my mouth, my eyes bulging from the pain and pleasure, as I anticipate each thrust with a wince and a whine, my hands grasping the headboard, knuckles white from squeezing the round wood shaped almost like man's penis.
Never! My God how disgusting!
Please join Pat Robertson, Elsie and me as we pray that God kills the commie pinko liberal Supreme Court Judges so we can get some God fearing judges in there.
Also, please pray that God kills all queers.
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
ELSIE: Well! Isn't this something. Caleb and I are starting a blog so we can tell about all the interesting things which happen in our born again fundamentalist lives. This is our very first post. Of course EVERYTHING will have something to do with the Lord and our religious lives as born again Christians.