Learning to trust...again

Some believe that in this world, each and every one of us has a mirror image. Not exact replica, but one that truly reflects us by complimenting us and humbling us, all at the same time. It is the one that shows you who you are. It is the one that hides nothing from view, good or bad. It is the one that points out areas that need work, and displays that which, for lack of better word, is perfect. It is balance in a midst of insanity, it is a calm voice in a middle of a violent storm, it is that breath of air in the suffocating heat. It is all that makes us complete in every way.

The world today is too preoccupied with all that is “wrong” or “bad”. Somehow, we forget that along with those imperfections, there is much beauty. Not the surface kind, but the kind that makes every day struggles, every battle, every defeat or victory, worthwhile. It is balance, a perfect center where two meet as one.

I have searched for that perfection, that balance. I have stumbled over many obstacles, I have hit many walls, and there were many highs and lows. But I found it. Ironically, the old adage of “it’s right under your nose” does apply here. However, as He often points out to me, timing was, and is, important. Neither of us was ready for one another then, and both had to travel uncharted roads to get to where we are now. But here we are.

I can go into a long description of what it means to me to be His, but find that there is so much that words cannot describe. And there is much that is no ones business but our own ~grins~ I can tell you that what we share is real. There is trust. There is respect. There is love. There is intimacy, and I’m not referring to the sexual kind. There is depth. But there is that one thing that makes a world of difference. There is self.

In past relationship, sometimes it felt like I lost myself, traded self for the pleasure of another. This is not the case with us. On the contrary, I find myself. And it is under His guide, His teaching that I keep finding myself. He wants me to be me, encourages it, and sometimes, even pushes me to be more me. It is said that true love is when you are yourself, and are encouraged to be yourself. That is what my Master gives me. And of course, that is what I give Him, because only when you know and own yourself, can you truly give.

Some say that to preserve something precious, one has to build walls and protect it from others. That is not necessarily true. All that I am grateful for would not be possible if that were the case. Much of what I now have, what I treasure and love, what I gladly share and support, is owed to another. In turn, it is my wish to give it right back to her, to them. That’s the easy part. Together, we are all a part of something wonderful.