Water pollution is a very serious environmental issue. Most animals need water to survive. If the water is polluted then these animals will die or at the very least become mutated.
Despite popular belief, mutants do not develop super-powers. On the contrary, Mutants are horribly disfigured and often mentally and physically handicapped. Those mutants that are not sterile or hermaphroditic will be so physically unpleasant that no other member of the species, whether mutant or not, will mate with them. This will cause the entire species to become extinct. If by some chance the species continues to thrive, its members will envy the dead for their existence will be full of pain and misery.
Of the animals that need water to survive, whales will be affected the most by water pollution. Whales not only need a large amount of water for consumption due to their size, but also live in water. Although most whales actually breath air, some whales such as the humpback whale secretly breath water when researchers aren't watching. The blue whale is the largest animal on Earth. It is so big one could build a mini-golf course on it, including the pro-shop. This golf course would have not one, but two windmill holes. Also, if you make the last hole in one shot you win a free game. If the water becomes polluted the world will not only be deprived of these beautiful creatures and their state-of-the-art golf courses but the ocean will be a lot more boring. Blue whales are like under water islands and without them there will be too much empty space, which, as any interior designer will tell you, is a bad thing. Whales are also important because they eat small, ugly fish that congest our oceans. Nobody likes these ugly fish. If whales die ugly fish will rule the oceans and if they ever decide to wage war on us Surfies (surface dwellers) they will win due to their overwhelming numbers. Whales also eat dolphins which are one of man's only natural predators.
Many animals, namely humans, need water to bathe. If the water becomes polluted we will become more foul-smelling with each bath. This will lead to a perpetual cycle of stinkiness which will threaten not only our way of life but the world as we know it.
Water pollution will cause the price of high quality bottled water to double. Due to lost costumers because of the rise in price and the increasing competition of soft drink companies many bottled water companies will go out of business. This will cost millions of people their job and be the leading cause of the next great depression.
Many plants also need water to live. In fact the only plant that doesn't need water is the Asian mud lily. This plant uses a process known to botanists as "derminerulation" to live. The plant absorbs copper from the nutrient-rich mud of South-Eastern Asia to live. The Asian mud lily can grow up to fifteen feet in height, making it one of the tallest flowers on the Eastern Hemisphere.
The fountain of youth does exist but if it is polluted it will become the fountain of elderness. Eternal life can be ours if we don't pollute the ground water.
Penguins drink water and often swim in water. They are flightless. If their water becomes polluted they cannot simply fly away and find new water like ducks. They also have stubby legs and cannot run away from the problem like ostriches. Penguins have a complex social structure. Most penguins are monogamous, however if a penguin cannot find a mate it will find a penguin prostitute and mate in exchange for smooth rocks. It is not known for sure what the penguins do with these rocks but it is a commonly held belief that they are used as good luck charms. Little is known about how penguins became so superstitious. Jacques Femier, one of the world's leading penguin researchers, believes that many years ago a great plague killed off almost the entire penguin population. Certain types of rocks had a mineral that killed the deadly bacteria and those penguins that were lucky enough to live near these rocks survived. Ever since then penguins have had an unnatural attraction to these rocks.
Most whales do not eat penguins. Penguins do not typically eat the Asian mud lily. If water pollution was put to an end the ecosystem would be restored to perfect harmony.
Researchers are currently developing a new ecosystem in which the water actually benefits from pollution. They have almost perfected it however they are not sure how to replace our inferior ecosystem with their new synthetic one. It is estimated we will have the new ecosystem in under twenty years.
Until we have the new ecosystem there are many things you can do to lower the level of water pollution. Do not pour motor oil down the sewer. There are many animals which will eat motor oil, thereby safely disposing of it. For example, the woodchuck. This is just one of the small steps one can take to reduce water pollution. To find out more ways to help check your local water pollution awareness clinic.
NASA is working on a program to bring the unpolluted water they found on the moon back to Earth. This will provide us with at least a week's worth of fresh drinking water. Scientists are also working on a program to mix non-polluted lakes and oceans with the most polluted ones, thus evening out the level of pollution.
Water is a very important commodity. In ancient Roman times water was actually used as currency. Taking inflation into account a liter of water was approximately $20 US. Water can be made artificially using super-colliders and black magic but it costs $5,000,000.00 a liter to do this. As you can see from above this is far greater than the actual value of a liter of water.
As you can see, keeping our water supply clean is very important. I hope this has made you reconsider the way you think of water. Please keep your water clean and tell your local congressman that water pollution is an important concern among his constituents.
