Question 1: How can I say No to my child?

Question 2:  How to discourage my young child from swearing?

Question 3:  How can I help my child  listen to me?

Question 4: How can I prepare my child for preschool program?

Question 5:  How can I keep my child from becoming "spoiled"?

Question 1: How can I say no to my child without being the bad guy? How do I reinforce positive behavior instead of negative behavior?
 

Saying “No” to a child is never easy. When saying no to your children, keep in mind that an explanation is always necessary, and your answer should be consistent with your other behaviors.   Make sure your explanation is within the territory of their understanding. Pre-schoolers typically don’t have logic skills yet, so an answer. Of “because you might get hurt” will suffice until they are old enough to understand

 Listening means keeping eye contact, sitting close, giving positive facial expressions, and keeping quiet while your child says what they need to say. Let them know why you are saying “no” and what they may be able to do to get a “yes” from you next time. You may be surprised at your children's insight and maturity. Treating them with respect teaches them respect

To make sure you are not seen as simply the “bad guy”, make sure your relationship is open and make yourself available. By being both their friend and their parent, you can set healthy boundaries with your children and they’ll feel that your relationship is based on trust and honesty, not “yes” and “no’s

Question 2: How can I discourage my young child from swearing?

To prevent your child from swearing or reduce the swearing of a young child you need to establish clear family rules for the other members of your family. Explain to the family that swearing is not permitted under any circumstances.

Children imitate everything they hear so your entire family needs to be good role models. If you have not treated each other with respect in the past you need to try to change behavior patterns in the family and wipe out any name-calling or swearing.

If your child is an older preschooler you can explain to her/him that bad language and name-calling are not acceptable in you family. If you are consistent she will eventually realize that swearing is not part of the culture of the family she identifies with.

Question 3: How can I help my child listen to me?

Getting a child to listen is not easy job, but it is one that can be mastered with time and patience, to help your child to listen you can use the following tips:

Preventing problems: Try and see the problem from your child’s point of view. By understanding his/her perspective, you may be that much closer to a solution.

Ask your child why he/she is not doing what you want him/her to do. Sometimes he/she may just answer “because we don’t want to,” but they also may have a good reason for not doing the task. Work with your child for solutions to problems.

Discipline: Speak calmly and reasonably when asking your children to do things. If you yell, they will yell right back. Discipline your children in private, not in front of their friends, because that will embarrass everyone, and build resentment from your children to you.

 Positive reinforcement: Have faith in your children. For example, if they want help to find some thing, offer suggestions as to where they can find this thing by themselves. Tell them you have confidence in their ability to do the work. When your child listen to you and do what you ask promptly, praise them and tell them how much you appreciate his/her action. Also make sure your child hears you say good things about him/her to your spouse, friends and other adults.

Getting children to listen can be a long, tough process. Children can also be expected to test you once in a while, even if you have the best discipline. Be brief and calm when this happens, and remember that the situation will probably improve eventually. Remember that the final reward will be worth it; you’ll have well-behaved, responsible children who listen to adults.

Question 4: How can I prepare my child for preschool program?

The time when a child is about to start preschool can be stressful for both parent and child. They are worried about meeting new people, learning new things and being away from their parents. The parents worry about behavior, how they will fare, and if they will get the attention they need and deserve.

The best possible thing you can do for your child during this time is prepare them. Show them that this new experience is a positive one and that all the other children will be feeling and thinking the same things. A new school and a new class is just that—new, for all involved. Some steps you can take to prepare your child for his or her new adventure:

1) Talk it up: Parents must remember that even if they are feeling nervous or stressed about the beginning of preschool they should always try to be positive when discussing it with their child. Tell your child how new things are often terrific things. Talk about what you enjoyed when you were in school. Make sure they understand that everyone will be meeting for the first time. They are not alone. Also, if they have an older sibling or cousin already in preschool, tell them all the things that person likes about going to school.

2) Tell them the teacher’s name: Some of the stress involved is having to listen to a new adult. When you go to your child’s school to meet the teachers and see the classroom, give your child a full report. Give your child the teacher’s name, even explain what the teacher looks like. It may be a small thing to you, but to your child it could take some of the tension out of a new experience.

3) Read to your child: Almost all of the popular television or cartoon characters have books about the first day of school. Make a special trip out of going to the library or local bookstore and getting some of these books. It will help your child to put the situation into perspective if they can identify with one or more of their favorite characters. Once you’ve read the books, make sure you take time to let your child ask questions or express concerns. They are looking to you for comfort and reassurance.

4) Make Sure Your Child Knows It’s Okay to Ask Questions: A lot of children worry about who they can turn to if they are unsure of something when in school. Make sure that above all else your child understands that is perfectly fine not to know something, and it is very important to ask questions. Stress to your child that we all have to ask questions sometimes, and that is the only way we can learn new things. If you feel it necessary, explain to the teacher what you have told your child, and ask him or her if for the first few days they would help reinforce it. Most teachers understand that some children are more wary than others.

5) Don’t hang around: When the big day comes, don’t hover over your child. Make the drop off as quick and painless as possible. If your child wants you to stay, give them a time limit. Say you can only stay for five minutes, walk around the classroom for a few minutes, and then give your child a kiss and a hug and leave. Chances are, once you’ve gone they will be fine. Sometimes it takes Mommy or Daddy being gone for a child to truly embark on a new experience.

Question 5: How can I keep my child from becoming "spoiled"?

You likely want to raise your child to be loving, caring, and confident. But there’s a limit as to how much of these things you can give and how you raise them to gain this that your child’s love cannot be bought.

Often parents feel as if in order for children to think their parents love them that parents need to buy them things. Many times this originates from a parent who doesn’t spend as much time as she wants with her child. Buying her/him things isn’t going to solve the problem. You should instead try to make time to be with your child to play with and enjoy time with your son or daughter. Remember that if you can’t spend time with your child, it doesn’t improve the situation by buying your child things that she/he really doesn’t need.

Teach your children that they can get the things they want but that they need to earn them. Tell them that they can have the toy they really want, but only if they first do several tasks around the house.

 Also remember that you set an example for your child. Children are constantly watching what you are doing and how you behave. Check yourself and watch how you act, your children may very well grow up to be the same way.

For more suggestions go to: http://www.essortment.com/in/Children.Parenting.Discipline/