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How to Prepare For a New Puppy

How to Prepare For Your New Puppy

  1. Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places and walk around barefoot in the dark.
  2. Wear a sock to work that has had the toes shredded by a blender.
  3. Immediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain and dark saying,"Be a good puppy, go potty now - hurry up - come on, lets go!"
  4. Cover all your best suits with dog hair. Dark suits must use white hair, and light suits must use dark hair. Also float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the morning.
  5. Play "catch" with a wet tennis ball.
  6. Run out in the snow in your bare feet to close the gate.
  7. Tip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.
  8. Leave your underwear on the living room floor, because that's where the dog will drag it anyway. (Especially when you have company.)
  9. Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV program and run to the door shouting, "No no! Do that OUTSIDE!" Miss the end of the program.
  10. Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning, and don't try to clean it up until you return from work that evening.
  11. Gouge the leg of the dinning room table several times with a screwdriver - - it's going to get chewed on anyway.
  12. Rip out various pages of your new textbook and attack the cover with a hole punch. At least once a week, pour lemonade on the cover of a different textbook or tear out another few pages. Try to study from your damaged book while repeatedly squeaking a toy hotdog. Remind yourself to keep all your stuff out of reach of your puppy.
  13. Take a warm and cuddly blanket out of the dryer and immediately wrap it around yourself. This is the feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep on your lap.

Although it's funny to read about how to prepare for a puppy, it may not be so funny when puppy accidents and property damage happen in real life. Dogs and puppies are a 10-15 year commitment. It may take as long as a year to completely housetrain a puppy, and most dogs retain a puppy mentality well after they have grown - sometimes as long as two or three years. By taking a dog or puppy into your home, you will be taking away much of your free time and finances. Health care, food, and basic supplies for a dog can cost over $2000 a year, and the first year of a puppy's life will be especially expensive due to extra shots and vetcare, worming, outgrown collars, and replacing your brand new sofa after your adorable puppy chews all the stuffing out of the back and destroys the armrest. Also, forget late night parties and weekend road trips - when you've got a furry baby to take care of at home, you won't have as much time for yourself. Your dog's needs need to come first. Don't think you can avoid some of the problems by getting a small dog either: small dogs often have higher energy requirements than larger dogs, and can do just as much damage to your stuff (not to mention the fact that little dogs have smaller bladders, so they take longer to housetrain).

Still think you want a dog? Try dog-sitting someone else's pet for a week, or consider fostering a shelter dog to see if your home and schedule are really right for a new dog. And remember, there are always adult dogs available for adoption through local shelters and rescue groups, many of whom have already had all the vet work and are housetrained and past the "puppy crazies". Last of all, remember to enroll your new dog in puppy or obedience class right away - having a trainer available to help you through the rough spots can make all the difference in being able to keep your new dog or puppy.

"How to Prepare For Your New Puppy" items 1-13 by Unknown Author. Following paragraphs by Sara Reusche. Please ask before using all or part of this article.