Unlike as before when vis-a-vis
or after wed - a man with his miss
spoken words each heard made hearts pound
your eyes tinged with gray - easily found.

Those august days are found no more
nor that curtsy you firstly wore
left only fading memories, I sadly assay
so long knowing you, now painfully - far away.
June 29, 2001

A date remembered, which brought strength of my own
for gave birth of one, winds of Chance had blown
in time would seed their fresh love within my heart
treasured memories longly kept - first gave it start.

Would have been fifty-five if yet alive
tender thoughts we co-fashioned, still survive
hopes embracing you as then oft done
cherished among those best - life has won.

As of a quiet evening, when silence ends the day
drifting dreams birthing words, I still have need to say
despite those long vacant years intervened in between
most grateful of how our love yet remains - so pristine.
August 24, 2001

What love once fed, now leaves a hunger parched and dry
when time too quickly fled, an early death brought by
dis-junctured moments, memory now holds confused
those lies or truths of one's grief - must be excused.

Events time left untouched, more cherished than when first occurred
re-lives within one's heart, love's missment has late conferred
precious secrets still thought upon, when first love was ours
each night, time taken to speak with you - beyond those stars.
August 29, 2001

Pastor quenched church-lights, all candles but one
as if confirmed Death's duty finally done
still I stood silent, midst dark shadow's dun
til at last I remained - the only one.

Feeling that final flush of one's life
her cares and hopes, Death put away
deeply known, though been another's wife
of my love - still would not betray.

Old visions from a past, fond memory held
when care and hopes knew not pain
nor what later came to pass, foul Fate spelled
cold hate and envy - left its stain.

Now beyond reach of harm that others give
in ways we can not understand
far from where much controls those lives we live
that peacefulness - of Lotus-land.

When twilit sky turned orange, evening airs swept clean
as if agreed on by Nature's will
with softened tread of halting feet, left this scene
yet of her tender love - thankful still.
November 29, 2001

Only then, felt feelings unfelt before
one's timidity could not show
until spoke those final words as her encore
then firmly knew - could never let her go.

Thence anguish turned to pain deeply felt
such as never suffered so before
one's hopeful ardor heartfully dwelt
words quickly brought - but to implore.

Thereafter, Life's die firmly cast
a dying hope could not ignore
til outgrew a life unlike one's past
far future years - would explore.

A pivotal on which both futures lived
such might have gone either way
fully decided, when reason out-bid
by what human hungers pray.

Nor forgotten worth of life's sum
such words and pain soon put in play
yet, of all that would after come
only this day - found need to say.
December 4, 2001

For aches of saddened hearts oft unknown
learned from love's quittance, its loss bemoan
thence you will be free for futures yet to be
unfeeling love's loss - such only felt by me.

For where lies dory below Ludlow's weirs
but two miles more to where Channel steers
at break of dawn, whence Hamford sets sail
from thence all trace of me - leaves no trail.

Your freedom for future years, my gift to you
double-life you have lately led, long I knew
of me not hear nor know, til Death's fateful flame
of our love's early days - my most grateful claim.

Tis more than soft-laid iron that turns to rust
love with selfish aims quickly turns to lust
tendered care unshared, learns one not to trust
til friendship dies, hopes dried to brittle crust.
December 8, 2001

Did each lead each, or was both
when to God we spoke our troth
single glance, thence curtsy met
after-times - enduring yet.

A pairage that changed lives of two
a marriage that wore long years through
til Fate bent low with its final breath
to rend our bondings - with fatal Death.

That hand once took mine, now but history
how began thence became, a mystery
enigma Love brings, life freely cast
Faith retelling such - will ever last.
December 8, 2001

Should perchance again to hear notes flow
soft melodic harmonies played slow
proof enough, one still in tune
far back then - in early June.

Still telling what back then both early felt
hearts deeply in love, music fondly dealt
then meant so much to her and me
when first-love thought - would ever be.
December 16, 2001

Proffered with soft needful touch, clearly showed
how best foster wendings on any road
inly knew, would outlast her eyeful view
long after motherhood - cold Death withdrew.

Such recalled in this latter day of life
those of two, my mother dear then my wife
both by gentled hands and twinkled smile
such this day thought upon - for the while.
January 4, 2002

NOW REMEMBERED

Wife and I off on a vacation stay
where long dangled limbs of willows sway
midst that quiet lay of gentled folk
where no one speaks - til to them are spoke.

Stood apart from edging crowd
where bracing sea-airs gave stir
drift among those unfelt proud
for a month - just I and her.

But there was a far deeper cause
for which we went
words I must tell, late-thinking draws
our Love had meant.

Forward years much too busied by
time seldom took to say
words from long ago, each would try
still true - though both now gray.

Recapture lost hours, share her heart's desire
re-rapture old bowers, ageing years aspire
before cold Death should down one - or both expire.
There beyond, shore ripples endlessly replay
of such we shared between, as sipped our frappé
idle words long unsaid, hopeful each might say
re-new an ancient love - ravels found to fray.

But of course she knew - foot-path trailed close by
where viewed endless avian flights, cliff-held high
for 'twas how first met, she'd stopped to ask - yet shy
where trail found leads to cliffs that touch the sky?

A magic only lovers know, by some simple twist of fate
found to fashion far-future years, two held one - a treasured date
thereafter unraveled mysteries, no history yet foreknows
constant need to tell one is loved, each to each - ever owes.
February 1, 2002

To hold my hand once again for what firmly told
motherhood and married days, we casually strolled
endearing touches of our past, but ghosts remembered by
now mere memories keep you close - felt with saddened sigh.

Where now with celestial hands, coddle me once again
whispering things never said, or those - that might have been.
February 10, 2002

A name unlike one only I could gift, marriage pledged
her onward life far otherwised, other children fledged
dwell and do, draw different schemes life otherwise brought
perhaps far outlived days, our pairage too quickly wrought.

What fame and fortune would have graced her days, years would tell
traveling foreign climes and place, health chanced ill or well
wove a web of friends and foes, each life found to spin
in-laws and children, better or much worse than been.

Should Chance have passed us both by, than elsewise might have thrown
neither her nor I to meet, ones as ever unknown
if my questing love had found some other cast, or not at all
upon such a bonnie lass, whose brightsome beauty - held my thrall.

Perhaps if married otherwise, still be alive today
pleased with her tender love, innate caringness might convey
may have earned a richness, only grandmothers live to share
if my yearning love had not intervened - nor brought to bear.

Of what could have been or might have done, now pondered on
simple twist of place and time, early love birthed at dawn
but a vapid dream, to tease that sadness I have carried
remembering how all began - yet too quickly buried.

A history both brought to be, so brief those years we flung
unknowing of what would become, nor thought of when young
that chapter now written, ink dried - no lie may emend
leaves but grateful dreams, how began - til at last would end.

Her duties ended, no more to toil earthen ways
wages taken, Death dismissed, beauty returned to clays
beyond reach of touch, mute words of grief each day one prays
grateful what our loves had cost - paid by our married days.

Now knowing what my unquestioned love had brought to bear
upon a bonnie lassie with such brightsome brunet hair
trusting what my first questing love found to be, also yours
such thoughts as these, this valentine gifts - olden memory stirs.

All this beyond recall, for Time knows but future days
what here have penned, recounts what both love and sadness pays
for married love, a bonding no other pairage brings
this valentine gifts our love - my heart daily sings:
Ich liebe dich mein frau, sie sind mein valentine.
February 14, 2002

Old photographs still show her smiling face
grasping fingers fondle - but empty space
scratchy tapes shatter some forgotten word
memories left unseen - still felt and heard.

Our love beyond doubts of betrayal
sin and sickness no longer interferes
forever will our love prevail
only Time awaits our love - free of tears.
August 8, 2002

Coaxed and winked, as talked with my guile
at first he just gawked, thence his smile
still I persisted, he briefly whiled
til fingers untwisted - waved free-styled.

With that we all laughed, each parent knows
tis but Loving's craft, one's Friendship owes.
August 15, 2002

Until those knees no longer spread
until those knees no longer bred
yet each one's arms told what love said
though other's arms confined to bed.

Between both knees and arms, love long given of
found after death, love yearns a far deeper Love.
August 20, 2002

Hush me with silence, need not of your lips
but warmth and comfort my sorrow grips
as weeping tears dampened both eyes and brow
let your sympathy - be my cure for now.

Such that power of love, knowing you understand
trusting your friendship will issue no reprimand
as lend me your manly shoulders to lean upon
ceding a daughter's comfort - so may not despond.

Shoulder me with your love, patiently so
will tell you when at last may let me go
manly warmth and silence, your comfort shows
giving thanks dad - so much a daughter owes.
August 23, 2002

AT FIRST
Sleep quickly slipped beyond their reach
that night as both longly tossed
this way then that, until to each
spoke what former words - had lost.

LATER
Dim dying embers almost forgotten of
smoldered, long wed years so dearly cost
til both reached out, try again an olden love
their togethered years - had slowly lost.
September 16-19, 2002

Assuring me you ken my doubts with trust
til awaiting Death gathers each to dust
knowing then, what you now dimly share
in distant days - midst those climes more fair.

Such thoughts oft occur, should my dreams shift to you
when nights toll twelve, tender thoughts so often do
my love still seeking your enduring charms
fond memories still held - with enwrapping arms.
November 9, 2002

Ephemeral light gave eerie showings of
shadowed reflections of an olden love
wry memories flickered, love longly burnd
remembered days of her past, nights returned.

Vague stirrings, as if fanned by angel wings
strange tremors felt deep within, old love flings
echoes heard from prior years, Chance brought to bear
as if gently held by her attendant care.

Old Scriptures tell - Spirit blows where It may
words heard within an unsuspecting soul
to heal a grieving heart gone astray
strange shadows love sent, I - her wanted goal.
February 6, 2003

Captured within the heart, remembered in the mind
untold since, to all other eyes forever blind
have no need to tell nor those events be retraced
love-notes firstly flung, passing years have not erased.

To each, whose life encompassed married years
scattered remnants left, best felt with tears
unique yet much the same, love's music plays
olden aches still return their haunting ways.

Til through happy tears, Time and Place returns like before
some brief moment our love once caught, dreams cannot ignore
replays some cherished occasion, love then put in play
of its details nor their results, I need not say.
March 3, 2003

Distant mileage now lays between where each resides
until of late came a change, moving close-by gifts
again late evenings, garth hearing words love confides
as across chiseled stone, setting sun fondly drifts.
April 23, 2003

Told then retold in a thousand-thousand ways
those raptured words of love, each to each must say
blindly spoke, fully heard, deeply felt - in one's heart tis read
words that never are ever asked of - yet so sweetly said.

So mark thee well of what I do say
as chart life's future course, whence love may
such tellings plagiarized from poet's theme
dreamy drifts of love notes - all ages scheme.

Do you.....? Of course.....!, such to palpitate one's heart - at least on stage
far back when, how words once wore hungered lips - til love came of age
now found quiet brittle, perfunctory - like some legal notice canned
whereas long before, balmy drifts of sweet scentings - smelt of Lotus Land.

Ah, of what those ancients firstly wrote, will outlast what old ears forgot
schemes enriched by Shakespearian prose, boldly written - when love its plot
old centuries measured, forever treasured - performers still put in play
sweet-nothings whispered, enraptured eyes speak - what lips need not say.
May 16, 2003

Rural lays of low-lands, peat-field fires
sheep folds, Border wastes - northern English shires
thatched roofs, cottage-holds where boreal falcon gyres
stone-fenced fields, tilled long ago by wealthy Squires.

Marshen swales, sinks of hidden quagmires
cold gloomy days or hot, til one perspires
passing by mere remnants of ancient byres
rotting haycocks wasted - left unburnt pyres.

Wrecks of ancient abbeys built by pious friars
few roofing stones remain of kirk's lofty spires
winds intoning olden chants, heard as ghostly choirs
lost hymns once composed - by long forgotten prior.

T'was of such how those traveled days transpired
former hopes presumeful, had not expired
weather's wear left me not well attired
as onward bent, with footed steps bemired.

When finally gathered by old friends once admired
and that one's beauty, my lost years still aspired
soft words we gently shared, old warmths re-fired
new flames love re-lit - old hopes yet inspired.

HOWEVER

To thirst again for what love conspires
yet not drink those lees of old desires
years felt before, fond friendship aspires
love again rebirthed - respect requires.

Both our loves chose not to risk nor comply
a suffered kindness, true love will deny
to those young who ask, one need not reply
took place some years back - love-poem may imply.
May 23, 2003

But an hour or so, til our goodbyes
unspoke what silent word implies
a kindness felt, gave need to tell
with well-mannered mien - wished me well.

As rose to leave, embraced me tight
in gratitude, as good friends might
thence walked down my lane out of sight
knowing neither - would ever write.

A tender serendipity
of kindly spontaneity
Time will not gift again for me
I quickly left - last seen of she.
June 27, 2003

Yet sight gave view beyond, where lonely stand
unheard surf far below, washed coast-line sand
between sea and land, endless words must say.

Single island seen perched ten miles out
blue sea and sky, setting sun left no doubt
on this vast scene - a quiet silence lay.

As sun sank beyond brink of ocean's rim
soft stir of air entoned its evening hymn
with words I hungered for - by which to pray.

When fading sky purpled down, til sky held black
spectral stars emerged across vast Zodiac
inly heard old voicings - from long ago.

Whispered echoes, my present days forgot
though unheard, cool night's air fondly brought
voicings uttered by one - I will ever know.

Such chanced to speak, as if yhose voicings proved Faith true
struggled years both shared, from what our marriage grew
for Death can never quench love between I and you
affirmed, when those seas-winds softly came - to tell me so.
August 18, 2003

Ecstatic joys yet tremble within
words long unspoken, heard retold again
love full-embraced, both pledged so long ago
a fervor far stronger - than then could know.

Whispered dreams, olden love still nurtures by
holds a certainty, Trust need not ask why
two held one, communed between for awhile
as dried tears encrust wan cheeks - now asmile.
September 18, 2003

Those futures we'd planned or promised each other by
unconsidered without care or caution, nor why
tis such strength, love empowers to those hopeful young
when life's flame fiercely burned - til their happiness sung.

Such daring dreams our early years sought to try
hurried haste and waste, Time slowly passing by
gathered both thrills and ills, til grew of what became
old age now clearly sees - though only I remain.

Such one's young years are for, slowly learning Trust and Truth
maturing ideas and hopes, freshly pursued in one's youth
treasured memories now remembered, yet with weepful tears
what quickly gathered, old age decries those passing years.

Grateful, faithful, waitful - til again one with you
those early dreams of life and love, each hoped come true
until we both now knowing of, what each came to be
as with thankful voice, grateful for what you made of me.
November 30, 2003

Each fashioned futures, treasured within their dreams
for when wanted wedding day might come
inly hopes him safe, despite what battle deems
knowing wars leave behind - death for some.

Hoping no letter arrives with unknown hand
her awaited mail first glanced, quickly knows
long-suffered yearnings, endurance each must stand
how many Springs or delay of Winter snows.

Until one she most recently posted, unopened sent back
then love burns saddened flames of grieving's lonely trial
graved beneath a foreign soil or weighted sunken ocean sack
or heals with another - as downs churchen aisle.

Such times often recalled, when soft winds stir
cooling drifts lent of a late evening airs
long kept letters oft read by her
first love still proffered - with her prayers.
December 6, 2003

Tis freely done, no known power can block
one's heart inly writes, no pen needs sketch
traveled prayers - old love of vintaged stock.

A word or two just to keep in touch
some brief whim urged by one's tears
early times recalled - for our love 'twas such.

Ever grateful, always faithful - to tell you so
still communed between, despite those distant spheres
whispered words my love oft sends - just to let you know.
December 6, 2003

Hopeful hopes hoped then, letters put to pen
fond words could never speak
as fresh Spring blossomed June, love sang its heartful tune
each day of every week.

Budding love grew stronger, cozy nights held longer
words spoke more tender
when Summer filled the air, placed flowers in her hair
smelt love's sweet splendor.

Wedding plans finally set, though would be two months yet
post-cards proudly sent
as Autumn leaves first tinged, early frosts briefly singed
ripened love's full scent.

Then came that perfect day, like first hopes brought of May
each one with their smile
falling leaves slowly shed to honor two now wed
as came down that aisle.

Sweet words told that night held each other tight
closely clasped between
as Fall leaves fastly fell, hinting what Winters tell
love oft turns - routine.

What love fully gave, salvaged years slowly saved
each bravely spoke between
until Death found one dead, grieving tears nightly shed
their first love - still pristine.
December 20, 2003

Every day anywhere, Tim and Jack a constant pair
much as any rural-bred, their days and years would share
if either should be seen out and about, yet alone - astray
question asked of dog or man - Other nearby or far away?

A comradery, perhaps more faithful than wedded bliss
until each grown so familiar, each other could not miss
presence each one expected, unspokenly acquired
companionship each one gave - begun when Jack retired.

Til ancient law obeyed, every creature birthed alive
unthought when first whelped, life but brief run of years - survive
when Tim heard that deafened silence - loud stillness of Jack's laughter
found without his hand, voice and presence - Tim died three days after.
December 27, 2003

My goodbye quizzing, if last words spoke - truth or lies
only future days would tell, with son's ventured tries
by mere strength of human trust, vague hopes kept alive
those pleadful silent prayers - that one's son might survive.

Confused beyond reach of reason, proofs could not give
nor some firm foundation, upon which one should live
as with total trust, so as not impede freedom's youthful try
each hands bid their parting waves - with tears in their unblinking eye.

Thereafter but that strain of waiting, wanting - wishing best
a youth still searching midst unknown snares of some secret quest
could neither explain nor full express, firm-held convictions
left behind but trusting fears - of future life's predictions.

Such that strength of hope, dependent on another's free-willed choice
endless weeks before, could-would not freely exchange with their voice
until that farewell, etched within one's soul and heart as well
awaiting in those shadows - only one's future would tell.

Then but another wave cast, when both stood beyond reach of ears
as drove on, out of a an enigmatic life - eyes full of tears
pleading those gods above, their forgiving love may still bestow
upon one so desperately loved - yet no longer deeply know.
December 27, 2003

Gave her virtue to one could fully trust
tasting pleasures far beyond passioned lust
til declining years grew dry, as they must
both died within days - Virtue praised as just.
March 2, 2004

New moon cast no shadows on wet sand
yet within, she felt some dark inner mood
sea's wavelets curled on dampish strand
stirring up anguished thoughts, her thinkings brewed
where ocean's wet - nurtured starving land.

Her joy mixed with a sadness felt
out alone at night, seashore might cure
when truth found false, his lies had dealt
yet even now, could not be sure
of what words and waves - futures spelt.

Until those silent whispers, blowing seawinds sent
high price each would cost, lost-love would have to pay
then with determined stride, finally upped and went
footprints she left behind - wavelets washed away.
March 16, 2004