A Few Jellicles Meet Paul Reubens
+Matropolis and Travisina march through the junkyard angrily pushing everyone out of their way who is laughing hysterically—at their big, fluffy, PINK, ballet skirts+
MARK: What is that THING you’re wearing? +laughs+
MATTY: I don’t know, why don’t you try it on and FIND OUT?
MARK: +gulps+ No thanks.
TRAVIE: I can’t believe she’s doing this to us.
POUNCIVAL: What?
TRAVIE: Make us wear these skirt things!
POUNCIVAL: They’re not that—
MATTY: Pouncival—take a look at us. A good look.
+Pouncival turns away and caughs hoarsely with lots of airy squeaking, then turns back to them with a red face+
POUNCIVAL: I’m sorry.
MATTY: Jennyanydots is making us wear these things for the Jellicle Ball! I’ll be humiliated! Where a skirt—a PINK skirt—in front of every cat—and two dogs—in London!
POUNCIVAL: I know! +his grin is huge+ I mean, how aweful!
TRAVIE: And even worse than THAT—um… even worse than…
POUNCIVAL: Hey, that’s a Weird Al CD—Even Worse!
MATTY: Not funny, Pouncival.
POUNCIVAL: Sorry.
+Mistoffelees runs screaming up to Travie+
MISTO: Travisina! Travisina!
TRAVIE: What?
MISTO: +as he comes closer it is noticeable that his face in beat red and covered with a goofy grin+ You’re… you’re… +he notices the pissed expression on his girlfriend’s face+ You’re smile is beautiful.
TRAVIE: Shut up, Misto.
+he tries to shut up+
MATTY: +tears off costume+ That’s it! I am wearing this no longer!
TRAVIE: You’ll get in trouble!
MATTY: So what? I’m not wearing this!
+Alonzo walks over to Matty, Travie, Misto and Pounci+
ALONZO: Hey guys… what’s up?
TRAVIE: +pouty face+ Nothing.
ALONZO: +holds back laughter+ You… seen… +snicker+… Bomby…
TRAVIE: She’s in her bedroom…
ALONZO: I’ll go get her. +starts to walk away+
TRAVIE: I wouldn’t.
ALONZO: Why not?
TRAVIE: ‘Cause Boxer’s with her.
ALONZO: What?!?!?! +Travie nods+ NOOOOOOOOO!
MATTY: Maybe we should all go home? +begins to walk away+
POUNCIVAL: +grabs her arm+ No! Sit down!
ALONZO: Travie, have you ever wanted kittens?
TRAVIE: Not for awhile!!! Why?
ALONZO: Because Plato and Etcetera just had three more kittens and he says I can’t compete and Bomby won’t have my kittens.
TRAVIE: Alonzo, back off!
+suddenly, out of nowhere, Paul Reubens (aka PeeWee Herman, aka The Spleen from Mystery Men) appears in the middle of the junkyard+
MATTY: Oh, cool!
TRAVIE: Really? The Spleen?
POUNCIVAL: Pee Wee Herman?
MISTO: Paul Ruebens?
ALONZO: The guy who stole my giirlfriend?!
ALL: NO!
ALONZO: Oh.
+Matty runs over to Paul Reubens and starts to drag him by the hand over to her friends+
MATTY: Hello, Mr. Paul Reubens, pleasure to meet you—can I have your autograph? Oh—how rude of me! My name is Matropolis J.—well, you don’t need my last name, really? Oh, and my friends will be pleased to meet you and-- +Paul slaps her+ Thanks. I needed that.
TRAVIE: Hello, Spleen!
PAUL: A pleasherrr! +he shakes her paw with spit flying from his mouth+
POUNCIVAL: +races up to him+ Hey man! I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet you! I’m Pouncival!
PAUL: And I’m… +looks at the glimmer in Pounci’s eyes+ … Pee Wee Herman!
POUNCIVAL: See! He’s Pee Wee—not The Spleen!
MISTO: A pleasure, Mr. REUBENS. I’m Mistoffelees.
PAUL: Hello, Mistoffelees.
MISTO: +sticks tongue out at Pounci and nods to Trav+ Told you.
ALONZO: +runs over to Paul and points a finger+ You stole my girlfriend!
ALL INCLUDING PAUL: NO!
ALONZO: Oh. Right. Sorry. I’m Alonzo.
PAUL: Almost a pleasure. +shake paw-and-hand+
MATTY: So tell us… Paul-slash-Pee Wee Herman-slash-The Spleen-slash-Not The Guy Who Stole Alonzo’s girlfriend… what brings you to this part of the world?
PAUL: I’m… a bit lost, I think… and I’m… not well…
MATTY: What’s wrong?
PAUL: I’m talking to cats, for God’s sake! And they’re talking back!
+the cats stop talking+
PAUL: Just tell me wear I can find a pay phone, huh? +no reply+ Come on! Say something! +still no reply+ Guys!
+POUNCIVAL writes “WE CAN’T TALK” on Travie’s palm+
PAUL: Come on, Man! You were just yapping! Open you’re traps! I got to get home!
+POUNCIVAL writes “I THINK YOU’RE GOING INSANE”+
PAUL: I’m not kidding, guys! You gotta help me! You have to talk!
+POUNCIVAL scribbles “CATS DON’T TALK, DUMBO” in the dirt+
PAUL: Stupid… Come on!
+ALL THE CATS shrug+
PAUL: If you don’t start talking…
+Travie pulls a staple from her pink skirt and stabs Paul+
PAUL: OWWW!
+Paul bleeds on Trav’s pink dress and Trav screams+
PAUL: I’m bleeding! I’m bleeding!
POUNCIVAL: He’s bleeding! He’s bleeding!
+Paul looks at him and grins, his friends glare at him with annoyance+
POUNCIVAL: Oops.
PAUL: You ready to talk?
+POUNCIVAL writes “I CAN’T TALK” on Paul’s arm with a staple+
PAUL: OW OW OW OW!
+Bombalurina suddenly comes into the junkyard from an alleyway brewing with anger+
BOMBY: Well! I never! Boxer is so… so… so… +notices Alonzo+ Alonzo! +Alonzo begins to run to her+ Alonzo!—is that—PAUL REUBENS?
ALONZO: +disgustedly+ Yes.
BOMBY: He’s dead sexy! +runs to Paul+
ALONZO: Bomba!
+Bomby and Paul Reubens come together in a hug and begin to kiss+
ALONZO: Bomby!
+Paul lifts her up while they are still kissing and disappears from the junkyard+
+The cats just watch it all happen+
POUNCIVAL: Did you guys just see… what I saw?
MISTO: Our hero just carried Travisina’s mother away? +Pouncival nods+
TRAVIE: And with class.
MATTY: Oh yeah. Pee Wee Herman just gave Austin Powers a run for his money.
POUNCIVAL: So then you agree it is Pee Wee Herman?
MATTY: I never said—
TRAVIE: It’s The Spleen!
POUNCIVAL: It’s Pee Wee Herman!
MISTO: It’s Paul Reubens!
MATTY: Guys. +motions to Alonzo+ It’s The Guy Who Stole Alonzo’s Girlfriend.
Well, that skit wasn't as funny as i had hoped, but just wait for some new ideas to come...
+all nod sorrowfully+
POUNCIVAL: Let’s rent episode 25 of Pee Wee’s Playhouse!
