Giant Gonzalez

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		Giant Gonzalez Hometown: ??? Height: ??? Weight: ??? Finisher: Technically it was a Chokeslam Career: This giant monstrosity [thank you thesaurus] first made his WWF debut at the 1993 Royal Rumble. He came out, unscheduled, during the match when the Undertaker was in the ring alone. He came with his manager Harvey Wippleman. Wippleman/Undertaker history crash course: Wippleman was the manager of Kamala when he feuded with, and got the crap regularly kicked out of him, by the Undertaker. It finally built until Harvey and Kimchee, (Kamala’s handler) signed Kamala to wrestle the Undertaker in the first ever casket match at the 1992 Survivor Series. We can all guess the result of the match. Kamala was scared of the casket, a contractual obligation of having a casket match with the Undertaker, and was angry at his manager and handler for signing the match. The end result was Harvey and Kimchee having to become stricter and meaner when dealing with Kamala. The ended with Kamala finally having enough of it, turning face and taking on a new manager. The Reverend Slick. The Reverend Slick is a topic for another bio. So we can also credit Wippleman with being a leading force in the feud that created the casket match. A gimmick match that has produced such classics as Undertaker/Kamala, Undertaker/Kama and Undertaker/Yokozuna BOTH OF THEM! but I digress. Back of the 1993 Royal Rumble. Gonzalez came out and stood face to face with the Undertaker, and Gonzalez unleashed almost all his offence in one shot. He hit him with a chop on top of the head, and the dreaded slow motion chop to the chest! The Slow-Mo Chop sent the Undertaker out of the ring, eliminating him. Some of you are probably thinking that no one can be eliminated from a rumble by someone not legally in it at the time, [ie. Vader’s elimination’s in 1996] but that rule changes back and forth every year. So Undertaker was gone. Gonzalez wasn’t done yet though. The brawl continued and ended up with Gonzalez slamming Undertaker’s leg into the ring post about three times. In this time span both Damien Demento and IRS had come to the ring but avoided the action, and Bob Backlund was out cold on the floor after a chair shot from the Berzerker. Once the giant left though Demento and IRS started pounding away on Backlund while UT just laid in the corner, seemingly dead. Don’t ask how a leg injury could kill him, I’m not sure either. Also don’t ask why about twenty officials came down to help get Gonzalez to the locker room to leave the UT alone, but no one stayed to help get Undertaker help. Everyone just left and let the Royal Rumble continue around him. Paul Bearer ended up having to come out with the urn and give him some of them there supernatural powers to get him up and limp back to the locker room. Even with the limp he could have still probably caught up with the slow-motion giant. I would be remised [thank you once again thesaurus] at this point if I didn’t mention the tights. Giant Gonzalez is best known for wrestling the dumbest tights in the history of professional wrestling. Max Moon might have the loudest, but Giant Gonzalez has the dumbest. An entire bodysuit, with muscles imprinted on the tights. That’s what all those long hours in the gym will do for you. Hard work and dedication always pay off in the end. You can’t forget the fur that was actually on the tights around the shoulders and the legs. I tried the air-brushed muscle suit at the beach, it didn’t go over to well. Much like Gonzalez’s WWF career. He wrestled after the Royal Rumble on WWF Superstars and took on not one, not two, but three jobbers at once. He beat all three and debuted his finisher, the Sloppy Low Riding Chokeslam! The tallest wrestler in the history of the WWF used one of the lowest choke slams I have ever seen. Most of the time the opponent never even raised at all since the Giant was too lazy to pick them up. The opponent would just kick their legs out from under them and the Giant would push down. FEEL THE IMPACT! That all led to WrestleMania 9. Giant Gonzalez wrestled the Undertaker, with the highlight of the match being the vulture that the Undertaker came to the ring with. It should also be noted that Giant Gonzalez changed his tights at this point. The fur was now painted on the tights. Fake fur painted on to go with the far muscle painted on, I guess. Maybe someone thought the fur just looked stupid on the giant muscle suit. As for the match itself, both men fought… very… slowly. Giant with his slow motion punches and chops. Undertaker with his stationary choke holds. The end came, finally, with one of the worst endings possible. Harvey Wippleman gave the Giant a rag soaked in ether, and pressed it to the Undertaker’s face, “smothering” him. That went over real well with the live crowd, since they could hear Toga Ross screaming at us that it was ether on the rag. To the Las Vegas crowd, Giant Gonzalez beat the Undertaker with a piece of cloth and it wasn’t even a hardcore match. Giant Gonzalez got disqualified for it though, because he used a rag in the match. Good thing Harvey didn’t hand him a towel or they might have arrested the guy. The next PPV is King Of The Ring 1993, one of my favorite PPVs. Giant Gonzalez is not a part of it either. You do the math. Giant could have been in it, he wrestled Tatanka in a qualifying match on WWF Superstars. He ended up winning, but after the pin would not let go of his Sloppy Low Riding Chokeslam and was Dqed and Tatanka went to the King Of The Ring on a reverse decision. It was about this time that Giant Gonzalez attacked The Undertaker and Paul Bearer, with Mr.Hughes and stole the urn and injured Paul Bearer. I should also mention Giant Gonzalez’s interview skills, or lake there of. His English wasn’t that great so I think he made up stuff so sound like yelling when he didn’t know the words. On Royal Rumble 1993, WrestleMania 9 and SummerSlam 1993 when he talks, all you ever hear is…. AH AH AH YA AH UNDATAKAAAA! So finally we get to the last PPV appearance from Giant Gonzalez. It was Giant Gonzalez verse UNDATAKAA in a Rest In Peace Match! The only thing was, until the match started, no one was told what a Rest In Peace Match was, it was a surprise from the undertaker. It turned out to be a No Disqualification, No Count Out match! I guess that’s incase the Giant wanted to break out another rag or something, or maybe he would go for the kill this time and use a sponge. As soon as the match started though, we all learned what the “Rest In Peace” term in the match really stood for. Everyone sitting through the match got to take a nap during the match. For those of us that managed to ward off the urge the nap, we were not treated to anything worth the effort. Undertaker choked and thrusted the giant, the Giant did some slow-mo punches and chops to the Undertaker, repeat. The Giant sold the chokes and thrusts the same as everything else. He held is throat, went bug eye, and staggered back. It didn’t matter what anyone did to him that was always the effect. A poke to the eye, a choke, a punch to the gut, a kick to the shine, whatever. Bug out eyes-hold throat-stagger back! During the match Undertake looked to be beaten when the GONG from his music kicked in, and suddenly stopped, and Paul Bearer came down to ringside with a black wreathe, what had been brought to ringside recently all the time for Harvey/Hughes/Wippleman. Paul nailed Harvey, took the urn and gave power to the Undertaker. Undertaker comes back to life, hits three clotheslines on the Giant, and a forth from the top rope and pinned him. After the match the Giant turned on Harvey for losing the urn and gave him the Sloppy Low Riding Chokeslam. That’s right, he didn’t even bother to lift HARVEY WIPPLEMAN UP! The face turn was a lot better received by the fans that his heel run, because he left the WWF. He was the first match eliminated in the battle royal on raw a few weeks later the decided Ramon and Martel would wrestle for the IC title. After that he was gone, and no one has a clue what happened to him. How to you lose a eight foot tall giant? I don’t know, but don’t answer or we might find him.

Giant Gonzalez

Hometown: ???

Height: ???

Weight: ???

Finisher: Technically it was a Chokeslam

Career:

This giant monstrosity [thank you thesaurus] first made his WWF debut at the 1993 Royal Rumble. He came out, unscheduled, during the match when the Undertaker was in the ring alone. He came with his manager Harvey Wippleman.

Wippleman/Undertaker history crash course: Wippleman was the manager of Kamala when he feuded with, and got the crap regularly kicked out of him, by the Undertaker. It finally built until Harvey and Kimchee, (Kamala’s handler) signed Kamala to wrestle the Undertaker in the first ever casket match at the 1992 Survivor Series. We can all guess the result of the match. Kamala was scared of the casket, a contractual obligation of having a casket match with the Undertaker, and was angry at his manager and handler for signing the match. The end result was Harvey and Kimchee having to become stricter and meaner when dealing with Kamala. The ended with Kamala finally having enough of it, turning face and taking on a new manager. The Reverend Slick. The Reverend Slick is a topic for another bio. So we can also credit Wippleman with being a leading force in the feud that created the casket match. A gimmick match that has produced such classics as Undertaker/Kamala, Undertaker/Kama and Undertaker/Yokozuna BOTH OF THEM! but I digress.

Back of the 1993 Royal Rumble. Gonzalez came out and stood face to face with the Undertaker, and Gonzalez unleashed almost all his offence in one shot. He hit him with a chop on top of the head, and the dreaded slow motion chop to the chest! The Slow-Mo Chop sent the Undertaker out of the ring, eliminating him. Some of you are probably thinking that no one can be eliminated from a rumble by someone not legally in it at the time, [ie. Vader’s elimination’s in 1996] but that rule changes back and forth every year. So Undertaker was gone. Gonzalez wasn’t done yet though. The brawl continued and ended up with Gonzalez slamming Undertaker’s leg into the ring post about three times. In this time span both Damien Demento and IRS had come to the ring but avoided the action, and Bob Backlund was out cold on the floor after a chair shot from the Berzerker. Once the giant left though Demento and IRS started pounding away on Backlund while UT just laid in the corner, seemingly dead. Don’t ask how a leg injury could kill him, I’m not sure either. Also don’t ask why about twenty officials came down to help get Gonzalez to the locker room to leave the UT alone, but no one stayed to help get Undertaker help. Everyone just left and let the Royal Rumble continue around him. Paul Bearer ended up having to come out with the urn and give him some of them there supernatural powers to get him up and limp back to the locker room. Even with the limp he could have still probably caught up with the slow-motion giant.

I would be remised [thank you once again thesaurus] at this point if I didn’t mention the tights. Giant Gonzalez is best known for wrestling the dumbest tights in the history of professional wrestling. Max Moon might have the loudest, but Giant Gonzalez has the dumbest. An entire bodysuit, with muscles imprinted on the tights. That’s what all those long hours in the gym will do for you. Hard work and dedication always pay off in the end. You can’t forget the fur that was actually on the tights around the shoulders and the legs. I tried the air-brushed muscle suit at the beach, it didn’t go over to well. Much like Gonzalez’s WWF career.

He wrestled after the Royal Rumble on WWF Superstars and took on not one, not two, but three jobbers at once. He beat all three and debuted his finisher, the Sloppy Low Riding Chokeslam! The tallest wrestler in the history of the WWF used one of the lowest choke slams I have ever seen. Most of the time the opponent never even raised at all since the Giant was too lazy to pick them up. The opponent would just kick their legs out from under them and the Giant would push down. FEEL THE IMPACT!

That all led to WrestleMania 9. Giant Gonzalez wrestled the Undertaker, with the highlight of the match being the vulture that the Undertaker came to the ring with. It should also be noted that Giant Gonzalez changed his tights at this point. The fur was now painted on the tights. Fake fur painted on to go with the far muscle painted on, I guess. Maybe someone thought the fur just looked stupid on the giant muscle suit. As for the match itself, both men fought… very… slowly. Giant with his slow motion punches and chops. Undertaker with his stationary choke holds. The end came, finally, with one of the worst endings possible. Harvey Wippleman gave the Giant a rag soaked in ether, and pressed it to the Undertaker’s face, “smothering” him. That went over real well with the live crowd, since they could hear Toga Ross screaming at us that it was ether on the rag. To the Las Vegas crowd, Giant Gonzalez beat the Undertaker with a piece of cloth and it wasn’t even a hardcore match. Giant Gonzalez got disqualified for it though, because he used a rag in the match. Good thing Harvey didn’t hand him a towel or they might have arrested the guy.

The next PPV is King Of The Ring 1993, one of my favorite PPVs. Giant Gonzalez is not a part of it either. You do the math. Giant could have been in it, he wrestled Tatanka in a qualifying match on WWF Superstars. He ended up winning, but after the pin would not let go of his Sloppy Low Riding Chokeslam and was Dqed and Tatanka went to the King Of The Ring on a reverse decision. It was about this time that Giant Gonzalez attacked The Undertaker and Paul Bearer, with Mr.Hughes and stole the urn and injured Paul Bearer.

I should also mention Giant Gonzalez’s interview skills, or lake there of. His English wasn’t that great so I think he made up stuff so sound like yelling when he didn’t know the words. On Royal Rumble 1993, WrestleMania 9 and SummerSlam 1993 when he talks, all you ever hear is….

AH AH AH YA AH UNDATAKAAAA!

So finally we get to the last PPV appearance from Giant Gonzalez. It was Giant Gonzalez verse UNDATAKAA in a Rest In Peace Match! The only thing was, until the match started, no one was told what a Rest In Peace Match was, it was a surprise from the undertaker. It turned out to be a No Disqualification, No Count Out match! I guess that’s incase the Giant wanted to break out another rag or something, or maybe he would go for the kill this time and use a sponge. As soon as the match started though, we all learned what the “Rest In Peace” term in the match really stood for. Everyone sitting through the match got to take a nap during the match. For those of us that managed to ward off the urge the nap, we were not treated to anything worth the effort. Undertaker choked and thrusted the giant, the Giant did some slow-mo punches and chops to the Undertaker, repeat. The Giant sold the chokes and thrusts the same as everything else. He held is throat, went bug eye, and staggered back. It didn’t matter what anyone did to him that was always the effect. A poke to the eye, a choke, a punch to the gut, a kick to the shine, whatever. Bug out eyes-hold throat-stagger back! During the match Undertake looked to be beaten when the GONG from his music kicked in, and suddenly stopped, and Paul Bearer came down to ringside with a black wreathe, what had been brought to ringside recently all the time for Harvey/Hughes/Wippleman. Paul nailed Harvey, took the urn and gave power to the Undertaker. Undertaker comes back to life, hits three clotheslines on the Giant, and a forth from the top rope and pinned him. After the match the Giant turned on Harvey for losing the urn and gave him the Sloppy Low Riding Chokeslam. That’s right, he didn’t even bother to lift HARVEY WIPPLEMAN UP!

The face turn was a lot better received by the fans that his heel run, because he left the WWF. He was the first match eliminated in the battle royal on raw a few weeks later the decided Ramon and Martel would wrestle for the IC title. After that he was gone, and no one has a clue what happened to him.

How to you lose a eight foot tall giant? I don’t know, but don’t answer or we might find him.