Corey's Birth Story

There was no long discussion, no real planning, one day Brian and I just looked at each other, and I said, let's have a baby, and he said "OK". But, no matter how brief, that turned out to be one of the most life changing discussions we ever have. And one of the happiest decisions we have ever made. I guess that must have been in June of 1991.

We didn't get pregnant right away, it took three months, which seemed an eternity at the time, but now, doesn't seem like too long. In August, we had just found out again that I was not pregnant, when my brother-in-law called. He and his wife were pregnant. They had only been married for a month at the time. That news was kind of hard to hear at first. We were happy for them, and excited about a new niece or nephew, that we hoped would be so close in age to our child. But, it was a little discouraging!

But, then in September, the little pink line showed up where it was suppose to, and our journey to parenthood had begun! I was so excited, I couldn't believe it, I think we actually did three pregnancy tests before it really sunk in.

For the first three months, I felt pretty nauseous. I didn't really get sick, but I couldn't eat, and I lost 15 pounds. My morning sickness came in the form of food aversion. I couldn't stand milk, and chocolate really had no appeal to me. I was scared to death that I was going to lose the baby. I was sure something was going to go wrong. I laid awake at night worrying if everything was going to be OK.. To me, the worst thing that could happen to a woman would be to lose her child. But, everything went smoothly.

I still remember the first time we heard that little heart beat, swoosh swoosh swoosh swoosh. So strong and clear!

Brian and I had decided not to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. But, at the ultrasound, the technician pointed out that we were having a boy. We were so happy! I had actually wanted to know what we were having, and Brian admitted that he too was pleased to know. Corey became so much more real to me then. Having seen him, and knowing his name, changed the way I thought of the little baby inside me. At the ultrasound appointment, they changed my due date from June 14 to June 12.

I loved being pregnant, but I would get very angry at anyone that said I was huge, or remarked on how big I was. That changed with my other pregnancies. Then, I would get offended if someone said I looked small. Pregnant women can be rather hard to figure out!

On June 11, I was getting ready to go to work, when I started having contractions. I called Brian at work, and asked him if he thought I should go in. He said, "yah". (something he has probably lived to regret, because I can now tell people how he told me to go to work while I was in labor!) At the time, I worked for Charlotte Hubbard (she writes for the paper, maybe you've read her column?) Taking care of her three children. Thank goodness the two older ones wanted to go to a friends house to play. I was feeling fairly miserable and the contractions were coming every 5 minutes at that point. Becca, the youngest was no trouble, she did seemed a bit worried about me though! Charlotte's husband, Tom Sonday, called in the afternoon to see how I was doing. Kind of strange that he did, because he hardly ever called to check on me. I told him that I was having contractions about every five minutes. He told me I needed to get home, and he called his mother-in-law to come watch the kids. Bless you Tom!

Brian and I went to our Lamaze class that evening, I was in considerable pain and very uncomfortable! But, this was the class where we learned the breathing which proved to be very helpful. I still don't know why they had me take a class that ended 10 days after my due date!

At about eleven that night my mom and sister came over, and we called the doctor (Brian was in bed sleeping). She told me it was time to come in. My contractions were coming about every two - five minutes and lasting about 45 seconds to a minute. We woke up Brian, who kept insisting it was way to early to go in, and drove to the hospital.

To make a long story a little shorter, my labor dragged on for about another 5 hours when they decided to break my water. That really didn't do a thing to help. They kept offering me drugs, and after the third time, I gave in. But, all the drugs seemed to do was decrease the effectiveness of the contractions. I was still in just as much pain, and completely miserable. My contractions were starting to come one on top of each other, hitting the top of the little piece of paper hooked to my monitor, and staying up there for a ridiculous amount of time! Brian was great through the whole thing, helping me breathe, holding my hand and only once did he leave my side.

When I was completely dilated, they told me it was time to push. I had absolutely no urge to do so. The doctor had a nurse and Brian hold my legs up, which I hated and asked them to stop. The doctor was pushing down on my vagina, which hurt almost as much as the contractions. I begged her to stop, but she wouldn't. If they weren't holding my legs, I would have kicked her! I have heard some women say that that technique really helped, but all it did for me was to add to my unbearable pain. I had pushed for about 45 minutes and then they leaned the bed back or something, and I swear, I felt Corey move back up. Wrong way!!! The doctor tried to use the vacuum extractor, but he was up too high. That was weird, because all through my labor, they had told me that he was way down and he would come out as soon as I started pushing. After the extractor, the doctor tried the forceps, but they didn't work either. Then, the doctor told a nurse, that they were going to do a c-section. I asked "what, what did she say?" But no one would tell me. Finally one of the nurses told me what she had said. I asked if I should keep pushing and she told me that it didn't make any difference, they were going to do the c-section anyway.

I felt a complete loss of power at that point. I broke down and Brian and I both cried. I had been in labor for about 34 hours at this point, and all the hard work seemed for nothing. We could have just skipped the labor and went to the c-section!

They then prepped me for surgery. They gave me medicine to stop the contractions, but it didn't work too well. My contractions were still coming quite strong. During one contraction, a nurse gave me a shot or moved me to a gurney, I am a little foggy about this part. I think she did both. I asked her to stop, because I was having a contraction, but she acted like she didn't even hear me and continued on. I know she heard, because I told her more than once. I was not being treated like a person at this point. They just seemed to want to move me on, to get it over with.

I don't remember much of the actual c-section. I do remember that after they gave me the epidural, I was SOOOO much more comfortable!!! Unfortunately, being up for almost 36 hours in constant pain had taken its toll on me. Going from unbelievable agony to completely comfortable in a matter of minutes made me fall asleep!!!!! I slept during my son's delivery. Brian was right there next to me though. He saw the whole thing and later described it to me. They did wake me up after he was born, but no one thought to give me my glasses (without which I can't see a thing). I started crying and saying "that's my baby, that's my baby!" Then they took him away to clean him up and I went to recovery for an hour. I fell back to sleep then too!

By the time they wheeled me back to my room, I was feeling pretty good and awake. They took me by all my family, and into my room. And then, I waited. And waited. And waited. All alone! Brian finally came in to see me. Then, my dad came in to tell Brian that the pizza had arrived, and Brian left!!!!!!HUH?!!!!???!!! WHAT???!!!!! Wait a minute people! I just had a baby, and you would all rather eat pizza???? They hadn't even brought Corey in yet. So, I picked up the phone and called Charlotte. I figured she would probably want to congratulate me, even if no one else did! She was pretty excited and that made me feel a little better.

Finally, I don't remember which happened first, they finished the pizza and Brian came back and they brought Corey in. I told Brian that I wanted to see the rest of our family, so he went and go them. Come to find out, it wasn't that they actually like pizza better than me after all! The nurse had told them that I needed rest, and that they shouldn't bother me! Dumb nurse! I know that they were telling the truth, becasuse it is on the video tape we have of the birth. I am not sure why she thought I wanted to be completely alone after having a baby.

I had decided to nurse Corey. When they brought him to me for the first time, he was spitting up some white liquid. I had not nursed him yet, so I was concerned about what it was. The nurse told me it was mucous. But, later we found out that they had been giving him formula in the nursery. Something we had told them not to do. When I finally got a chance to try and nurse Corey, several hours after he was born, he was asleep. For some reason after he had already been fed formula and being fast asleep, he didn't seem to want to nurse (hmm, wonder why???) It was a hard three days in the hospital, I was constantly pressured to give him formula. At one point, when none of my family was in my room, the doctor and several nurses came in to "talk" to me. They told me that Corey had already lost a half a pound, and that I was just not producing enough milk to keep him healthy. They said that he could not survive without nutrition. They then asked who had told me that I had to solely breast feed, and why did I think that was best. It was horrible! I was so upset that I consented to them giving him formula. I felt like a total failure at that point. Not only could I not deliver my baby the natural way, I couldn't even produce enough milk to keep him alive! Thankfully, a kind nurse came in and saw me crying. She seemed rather upset about what they had just done to me. She reminded me that half a pound was really only eight ounces, and that most babies lose weight the first couple of days. She also told me that my milk would probably not come in until three days after I delivered. I felt so much better after talking to her!

I went home after three days, and the nursing came so much more easily when I was home! I was relaxed and I had an ample supply after all!

At Corey's first doctor visit, he weighed a pound over his birth weight. I was so pleased. But, at this visit, the doctor asked me when I planned on weaning Corey. When I replied that I was going to let him self wean, he ridiculed me. He told me that children didn't wean themselves and that I was going to be like one of those women in Africa that nurse their children until they are 5, and did I want that? Needless to say, that was our first and last appointment with that doctor! I nursed Corey until two weeks before his second birthday, when he and I came to the mutual decision to stop. And a great big raspberry to you doctor! =:~~~~~

Corey is a wonderful child. He is kind and considerate. He will go out of his way to help anyone. He can get sassy and yes, maybe a bit obnoxious, but overall, he has a heart of gold. I could get really mushy talking about my sweet little boy!