SETTING: Ryan Shuck is alone at his quiet mountain home, guzzling several beers and lounging around in his green bikini briefs. Just as he's ready to make some popcorn, the phone rings.
RYAN (into the receiver):
VOICE ON OTHER END: What did you just say?
RYAN: Yo, what's up?
VOICE: Who is this?
RYAN: Uhhh, who is this?
VOICE: You tell me.
RYAN: I'm the best guitar player in the world!
VOICE: Oh really? You must have a name.
RYAN: Dude, you have the wrong number. Call back when I'm sober. Bye!
Ryan hangs up the phone. 10 seconds later, it rings again.
RYAN: Yo!
VOICE: I dialed the wrong number again.
RYAN: You dumbass.
VOICE: What number are you, anyway?
RYAN: How should I know? I'm wasted.
VOICE: I just want to apologize.
RYAN: Uhhhhh.....OK.
VOICE: Are you doing anything? I'd like to talk to you for a second.
RYAN: Dude, are you hitting on me? Dial a 900 number. Bye.
Ryan hangs up the phone, and it rings again.
RYAN (with beer in hand): Uhhhhh, hello?
VOICE: Why don't you want to talk to me?
RYAN: I don't talk when I'm drunk. I put my underwear on my head and run around hallways screaming.
VOICE: Oh, come on, talk to me.
RYAN: Dude, who is this?
VOICE: Tell me your name, and I'll tell you mine.
RYAN: No way, that line only works on chicks.
VOICE: What was that noise?
RYAN: I just opened a vodka bottle.
VOICE: You're drinking vodka?
RYAN: Yeah! Want some?
VOICE: How can I have vodka over a phone line?
RYAN (sad): Oh yeah.
VOICE: I only drink vodka when I'm about to watch really bad movies.
RYAN: Dude, that's what I'm about to do!
VOICE: What are you watching?
RYAN: None of your business, dude.
VOICE: Do you like scary movies?
RYAN: No way, those are for losers! I prefer science fiction and porn!
VOICE: What's your favorite scary movie?
RYAN: Uhhhh, dude? I said I don't like scary movies.
VOICE: Everybody has a favorite. What's yours?
RYAN: Uhhhhh.....hmmmm. I saw a "Benji" movie when I was young. It scared me.
VOICE: You've gotta be kidding me.
RYAN: I might be. I AM under the influence here.
VOICE: So, you have a girlfriend?
RYAN: Are you trying to pick me up?
VOICE: Not until you've told me your name.
RYAN: BUUUURP!!! Excuse me.
VOICE: Tell me your damn name.
RYAN: Dude, no way. Why?
VOICE: Because I wanna know who I'm looking at.
RYAN (eyes wide): What did you say?
VOICE: I wanna know who I'm talking to.
RYAN: That's not what you said. Uhhh, I think. I'm confused.
VOICE: So do you wanna meet me for dinner?
RYAN: Dude, no way! I've gotta go.
VOICE: Don't hang up on me!
Ryan hangs up the phone. As he's locking doors, it rings again.
RYAN: Yo, Ryan at your service!
VOICE: It's me again, and now I know your name.
RYAN: Uhhh, who are you?
VOICE: I just called you 10 seconds ago.
RYAN (thinking): Oh yeah!
VOICE: I just want to talk.
RYAN: Well, call somebody else. I need to watch this video so I can return it before midnight and get a free bag of popcorn!
He hangs up the phone, and it rings again.
RYAN: Listen, asshole!....
VOICE: No, YOU listen! If you hang up on me again, you'll pay!
RYAN (crying): Oh no, don't make me pay! I earned my money!
VOICE: We're going to play a little game.
RYAN: Ohh man, I can't concentrate under this pressure!
VOICE: We're still going to play a game. Can you handle that, green underwear man?
RYAN: Dude, I'm wearing green underwear. (Realizes he's being watched) Oh crap!
Ryan runs around the house securing locks on doors. He looks out the window.
VOICE: Can you see me?
RYAN: Dude, you must be wearing camouflage!
VOICE: You sure are a dumbass.
RYAN: Don't be cruel, man!
VOICE: Bwa ha ha ha ha.
RYAN: What do you want?
VOICE: To see what your alcohol tainted insides look like!
RYAN: Dude, that reminds me of a story. Back in seventh grade, we dissected a fish, and I took my scalpel and....
VOICE: You can shut up now.
RYAN: Will do.
VOICE: Hehehehe.
RYAN: I'm going to call the police. What's the number for 9-1-1?
VOICE: They'd never get here in time. You bought this house way out in the middle of nowhere to get away from the city.
RYAN: What was I on that day?
The doorbell rings, and Ryan asks who's there.
VOICE: Too bad you don't like scary movies. You should know by now that asking who's there is a death wish. Come outside and investigate a strange noise.
RYAN: There's a strange noise? I'd better go check on it!
VOICE: Sighing.
RYAN: Dude, this is getting boring. Hang up so I can go watch my video.
VOICE: What are you going to watch it with?
RYAN: My supply of beer!
VOICE: Your beer didn't happen to be Heineken, did it?
RYAN (stunned): Dude, how did you know?
VOICE: Turn on the porch light!
Ryan turns on the porch light and looks out back. His entire beer supply is sitting on a lawn chair, and dynamite has been strapped to it.
RYAN: Noooo! My precious beer!
VOICE: I wouldn't open that door if I were you!
RYAN (in tears): Why are you being so mean to me? All I want to do is make beautiful music for the world!
VOICE: We're going to play a game, or your beer dies right now!
RYAN: Nooooo! OK, let's play the game!
VOICE: Turn off the light, Ryan.
Ryan turns off the light and cowers in a corner.
RYAN: Ohhh, my beer. I have failed you.
VOICE: OK, get this one right, and your beer lives.
RYAN: Please hurry! I'm SO thirsty!
VOICE: Name the lead singer of your band.
RYAN: Nooo, this isn't fair! I haven't been to rehearsal in a week!
VOICE: Come on, you should know this one.
RYAN (thinking): Uhhhh....Jay something. Jay Gordon?
VOICE: Good job. Now for a tougher category.
RYAN: Craaaaaaaap!
VOICE: Name the drummer of your band.
RYAN: Amir! It's Amir! Hehe, Amir is cool.
VOICE: You have to be kidding me.
RYAN: Dude, did I win?
VOICE: The drummer is Bobby.
RYAN: You tricked me.
VOICE: How so?
RYAN: Uhhhhh....I dunno.
VOICE: Lucky for you there's a bonus round, but I'm afraid the beer loses.
Ryan looks out the window. As he watches in horror, his entire beer supply blows up.
RYAN: NOOOOOOOOO!
VOICE: Bwa ha ha ha ha! Final question. Are you ready?
RYAN: Dammit, now I have to stay sober!
VOICE: What door am I at?
RYAN: How should I know? I'm not psychic!
Just then, a lawn chair flies through the back window. Ryan runs, trying to hide. He hides around a corner, and sees a figure in a black cape racing around the house.
RYAN: Dude, this sucks! Maybe I should run away.
Ryan runs outside, eager to make his escape. As he runs around the house in nothing but his green undies, the figure in black emerges and stabs poor Ryan. As he dies, Ryan has a few last words....
RYAN: Dude, there was so much in life I wanted to accomplish! Now I'll never fulfill my acceptance into Harvard, and I'll never become a neurosurgeon!
After a while, the pale white figure in the green underwear becomes silent.
SETTING: It is the following afternoon, and the four remaining members of Orgy have gathered for rehearsal.
BOBBY: Is everybody here? I'm too lazy to count.
AMIR: No, Jay went to get something to eat.
PAIGE: Jay?! Jay is eating FOOD?
AMIR: It's a new day!
Jay comes running in with a donut hanging out of his mouth.
AMIR: Jay, that's going to go straight to your hips! You know, back when I was in Rough Cutt, we wore these leather pants and....
JAY: Oh my God, guess what I just heard?!
BOBBY: Uhhh, what?
JAY: Like, ohmigod, I heard it on the radio! It's the most formidable affair that will ever betide our painful existence!
PAIGE: What the hell is he saying?
JAY: Ryan is dead!
.....Silence......
JAY: Must I repeat myself? He's dead! He is extinct!
BOBBY: Ummmm....Ryan?
PAIGE (thinking): Ryan....Ryan...? Oh yeah! He was the guy in our group who looked a lot like Neil from "Real World London!" I think he played guitar.
BOBBY & AMIR: Oh yeah!
PAIGE: Neil was the bomb! Yeeeeehaw!
JAY: Dude, I can feel a song coming on. Oh, the words flow into my brain like sap on the branch of a solitary fir tree.
Jay goes and sits in a corner, where he rocks himself in a trance-like state.
PAIGE: Does this mean I can play lead guitar?
AMIR: No way. Don't ever think you can overpower my skills. I was in Rough Cutt, remember?
PAIGE: How could I forget? You remind us every damn day.
BOBBY: I'm confused. So is Ryan, like, never coming back?
PAIGE: Just sit behind your drum set, Bobby.
AMIR: Hey Jay! What the hell are you doing over there?
JAY (singing to himself): Ohhh, the pain of losing that one aspiration, I'm so fucking ashamed of this derelict place....
PAIGE: Somebody stop him. He's writing another song that requires a thesaurus.
AMIR: Jay, will you come over here? I was in Rough Cutt, dammit. Listen to me!
Jay wanders over.
PAIGE: So, any details on how Ryan died?
JAY: No. I listened for a minute, then I got bored. These feeble-minded stations are too crippled for my superior thinking.
BOBBY: Turn on the radio, you guys.
AMIR: Did somebody say something?
PAIGE: I don't think so.
JAY: I think it was Bobby.
AMIR: Who?
JAY: The drummer.
AMIR: Oh yeah.
They turn on the radio and flip to a station for the latest news.
RADIO DEEJAY: Ah, ha ha ha! Those crazy Hanson kids! What will they get into next? And now, in other news....
BOBBY: Hey, maybe they'll bring up Ryan!
PAIGE: Who just spoke?
AMIR: I dunno.
RADIO DEEJAY: The guitarist for the goth group Orgy...
JAY: We are not goth, dammit!
RADIO DEEJAY: ....well, let's just say he won't be strumming a pretty melody any time soon. His body was found today by the mail man outside his quaint mountain home. In fact, we have the mail man right here! He can describe everything in gory detail.
MAIL MAN: Well sir, there was blood and guts everywhere. But at least the boy was wearing clean underwear.
RADIO DEEJAY: Ah, ha ha ha! Those crazy rockers just ain't what they used to be! In other news....
They flip off the radio.
JAY: Ewwwww. Blood and guts! I'd vomit if there was anything in my stomach.
AMIR: Weak. We never lost a guy back in Rough Cutt.
JAY: You know what I think?
PAIGE: Will I need a dictionary to figure it out?
JAY: I think Bobby killed Ryan!
BOBBY (scratching his arm pit): What?!
AMIR: Who?
JAY: Bobby, the guy behind the drum set!
AMIR: Ohhh, so YOU'RE Bobby?
BOBBY: Of course I'm Bobby. Who the hell did you think I was?
AMIR: I dunno. I never asked.
PAIGE: He DOES have a murderous look in his eyes.
JAY: Are you going to kill me, too, BOBBY?
BOBBY: Dude, I can't even put a worm on a hook, so how could I kill a person?
The others consider it
PAIGE: Maybe he's been listening to the Backstreet Boys. I hear they're a bad influence on America's youth.
Everybody laughs
BOBBY: I don't listen to the Backstreet Boys, you turd! That's Jay!
PAIGE: Oh yeah! Jay killed Ryan!
JAY: I did not. I'm allergic to blood!
AMIR: Would you children shut up? I'm the older and wiser one. I've had years of musical experience, mainly gathered from when I was in Rough Cutt. Nobody here would kill that guitarist dude. I mean, this means the end of our band.
The others think it over
JAY: We can replace him.
PAIGE: How about that muscular guy from Rammstein?
BOBBY: Let's get Munky from Korn! Yeah, yeah, Korn rules!!
AMIR: Dammit, who keeps talking?
SETTING: A few days later, the guys attend Ryan Shuck's memorial. They get together with their closest friends afterwards at Ryan's house, where they party and watch some scary movies.
Gathered in the den....
AMIR: Did you guys notice how the back porch smells like beer, and there's broken glass everywhere, but there's not a single beer in this house?
PAIGE: Yeah. It's almost like somebody blew up Ryan's beer supply.
JAY: Maybe Ryan was trying to sober up?
Silence, followed by intense laughter.
PAIGE: Jay, you're cool!
MUNKY: Lucky for you guys, I brought a keg!
AMIR: Who are you?
MUNKY: Ummm, Munky. From Korn. I just signed with your band.
AMIR: I'm in a band?
MUNKY: Dude, you really should look into Ginko Biloba. You're losing your mind.
PAIGE: Dude, don't talk to Amir like that. He's senile.
BOBBY: Munky rules! Munky is my hero! Munky rules because he was in Korn! Korn is cool! Korn rules! But not anymore, because Munky is in our band, and now Orgy rules!
JAY: Shut up!
AMIR: Did you just tell me to shut up?
JAY: No, I told our drummer to shut up.
AMIR: We have a drummer?
JAY: Oh, you feeble-minded fool!
AMIR: I'm not a fool. I'm in Rough Cutt!
PAIGE: Yeehaw, a keg! Let's get drunk, in honor of that guitarist guy!
Everybody fills a glass and raises them in a toast.
AMIR: To Namfar!
EVERYBODY: Who?
AMIR: The guitarist.
PAIGE: You dumbass, his name was Brian Shuck!
BOBBY: Can I make a speech?
JAY: Of course you can.
BOBBY (standing up): I'd just like to say that, uhhhh, Brian? Yeah, him. He was my best friend in the whole wide world, and I mean, I have some cool friends: Tommy Lee, the entire bands of Korn, Incubus, Limp Bizkit, Rammstein, 'N Sync....
PAIGE: Why is it so quiet in here? Somebody play some music!
Music starts blaring in the middle of Bobby's speech
AMIR: Hey, guy with the gross hair!
MUNKY: My name is MUNKY! Say it with me, Muuuuuunky.
AMIR: Umm, yeah, Chunky. Your keg is dry.
MUNKY: Holy shit, you guys were thirsty.
PAIGE: Buuuuuuuurp!
JAY: I think Ryan kept some spare beers in the garage.
AMIR: Go and get us some.
JAY (whining): Nooooooo. It's, like, musty in there! There might be spiders.
JONATHAN DAVIS: Dammit Jay, I thought you were big and tough. Now go out there and dominate your fears!
AMIR: I'm sorry, and who might you be?
PAIGE: That's the guy who got us our record deal.
AMIR: Does he have a name?
JAY (pouting): Fine. I'm going to go out there and get a beer, to prove to you lost souls that I am able.
EVERYBODY: Yeah, whatever.
JAY: I'll be right back! (Disappears into the garage)
PAIGE: I really have to pee. Does anybody else have to pee?
BOBBY: I do.
AMIR: I prefer the term piss.
MUNKY: Let's all go pee in the pool!
Everybody runs for the back door.
Meanwhile, in the garage, Jay is stumbling around in the dark, trying to locate the refrigerator.
JAY: Ouch! That's going to leave a bruise! Owww, what was that? My skin is too sensitive for this! I need light!
Jay turns to hit the garage door opener. It lets some light in, and he walks to the fridge. As he's fumbling around for some beer bottles, the garage door closes.
JAY: What the....?
Jay turns and sees who is responsible. Standing by the door is a figure dressed in a black cape, with a white mask.
JAY: I know I'll sound like Amir when I say this, but I don't care....Who the hell are you?
BLACK FIGURE: Silence.
JAY: Oh, sorry, where are my manners? Are you a fan? I can give you an autograph.
BLACK FIGURE: Silence.
Jay, feeling confident from his beer intoxication, walks up to the figure in black.
JAY: I'm taller than you, I'm not afraid!
Just then, the figure in black reaches behind his back and pulls out....a jar of Noxema.
JAY: Oh no! Oh my God!
BLACK FIGURE: Bwahahahahaha!
JAY: No, this is too cruel! I can't let the world see me without make-up!!
The figure in black opens up the jar and takes out a slab of the white cleanser with his hand.
BLACK FIGURE: Bwahahahahaha!
JAY: Agggghhh, my heart!
Jay clutches his chest in horror, and drops dead on the spot. He doesn't need to worry, however; his make-up is still perfectly intact.
Meanwhile, the others have finished peeing in the pool and have gathered again in the den.
PAIGE: That was cool!
MUNKY: Let's do karaoke!
BOBBY: I am NOT doing karaoke.
Amir breaks out Ryan's beloved karaoke machine. Paige, with a cowboy hat on and noticeably drunker than the others, eagerly gets up and starts things up.
PAIGE: Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know? That something wasn't right here....
AMIR: Sing that Britney Spears, baby!
BOBBY: Oh my God, he remembered a name.
AMIR: Britney Spears rules. (Turns to grab some popcorn and sees Till from Rammstein sitting next to him) Who the hell are you?
TILL (with heavy accent): My English, it is not good, but I am Till from Rammstein. We toured together, yes?
AMIR: Hi, I'm Amir. Amir from Rough Cutt.
TILL: You will miss Ryan, no? Ryan was good guy. We kissed once.
AMIR: Is he your son? I have a son.
TILL: Stunned silence
PAIGE: Yeehaw, that was fun! Who's up next?
BOBBY: I will definitely not be doing karaoke.
PAIGE: It's time for Jay to perform to Peaches and Herb!
BOBBY: Where is Jay, anyway?
MUNKY: He might have gone home. I think you guys pissed him off. You should be more sensitive to his feelings.
PAIGE: Huh huh huh.....what?
JONATHAN DAVIS (up doing karaoke): I'm walking on sunshine....whooooa, and don't it feel good!
PAIGE: Sing it, Jonny baby!
BOBBY: I have a headache. I'm going to go upstairs to lie down.
AMIR: Who said that?
MUNKY: Yeah, OK dude.
Bobby slowly climbs the stairs, and finds himself in Ryan's old bedroom. Posters of boobies deck the walls, and even a poster featuring beers of the world.
BOBBY (sadly): Oh, Brian, if you can hear me, I really miss you. You were such a good friend, and I mean, that has to be cool, because I know Korn.
He lies down in Ryan's old bed and goes to sleep.
JONATHAN DAVIS (in the middle of Amir's rendition to New Edition): This blows. You can't sing, Amir!!
AMIR (stopping): That's why I play g-synth. I collect them, you know. Ever since my days back in...
JONATHAN: Yeah, back in Rough Cutt. We know already.
MUNKY (slurring): Ah wan go home now, woooo, ah not feel well. Ah goingtopuke.
HEAD: Man, Munky is in bad shape. Let's leave.
JONATHAN (throwing Munky over his shoulder): Later, you faggots. Thank you for stealing Munky from my band, I'll leave him on your doorstep when he's sober. Tell Jay bye, if he's still living. Come on, Till from Rammstein, let's go!
TILL: Auf Wiedersehen! (To Jonathan as they are leaving) Vat is faggot?
AMIR: Hey, where did everybody go?
PAIGE: I think they just left.
AMIR: Really? I didn't notice.
PAIGE: Dude, Jay is missing, and so is our drummer. Did you see them leave?
AMIR: I don't think so.
PAIGE: We're under the influence of some wicked shit.
AMIR: I'm going to go to the bathroom.
PAIGE: Yeah, whatever.
Amir leaves Paige sitting on the couch. Unable to find anything good on TV, Paige heads for the kitchen to find something to eat.
PAIGE (looking in the fridge): Let's see, what did Ryan have here? An egg. A pack of sugar. A bottle of Yoo-Hoo. Why is there underwear in here? Man, he was one twisted freak.
As Paige slams the refrigerator door closed, his cel phone rings.
PAIGE: Hello?
UNFAMILIAR VOICE: Hello Paige.
PAIGE: Yo! Are you a friend? Do I owe you money?
VOICE: I'm more than a friend.
PAIGE: Really? Dude, I never swung that way, at least not sober.
VOICE: I'm going to help you, Paige.
PAIGE: Who is this? Is this the Army again? I told you guys, I'm not going to be all I can be, and I can't even do a push-up, so quit trying to recruit me!
VOICE: This isn't the Army, you twit.
PAIGE: Hey now, there's no need for name-calling.
VOICE: I wanted to help you, Paige, but now I've just realized something.
PAIGE: You've realized apes will be our masters? I've had that dream!
VOICE: No. I realized you must die!
PAIGE: Diet? I'm not going to go on a diet, you nut sack.
VOICE: You will die. You will die slow. And painfully. And you'll never survive to see apes being our masters.
PAIGE: Hmmmmm. (Ponders the situation) OK, that's going to suck.
VOICE: Bwahahahahaha.
PAIGE: Why are you laughing? Can you repeat the joke?
VOICE: The only joke will be your funeral, Paige.
PAIGE: How did you get my name?
VOICE: That's for me to know and you to find out.
PAIGE: Did you kill that guitarist guy? Chuck?...no...David?....no. Oh yeah, Brian Shuck.
VOICE: You can ask him in Hell. Bwahahaha.
PAIGE (yawning): OK, I'm going to hang up now, because I'm really drunk and I might throw up at any moment, and this phone was expensive, so, like, I don't want to throw up all over my phone.
VOICE: Oh. OK. But if you hang up on me, you'll die.
PAIGE: Yeah, fine, bye dude!
Paige hangs up the phone and goes through cabinets, looking for something to relieve his stomach.
PAIGE: Dammit, didn't Ryan have any pills for his gas?
AMIR: What are you looking for?
Paige turns around and sees Amir in the doorway.
PAIGE: My stomach hurts. Do you think I drank too much?
AMIR: When I was in Rough Cutt, we drank a lot more than you, and we got up first thing in the morning for the buffet breakfast at Shoney's. This was before I had to watch my weight, and now I'm in this band. (Thinks) What is this band called, again?
PAIGE: Uhhh, Orgy.
AMIR: Oh yeah! I'm still in the band, right?
PAIGE: I guess.
AMIR: But didn't you guys attend my funeral today?
PAIGE: Dude, we attended Brian's funeral. You're still alive!
AMIR: Well, so I am.
Bobby emerges from upstairs, looking sleepy.
BOBBY: Where is everybody?
AMIR: Who are you?
PAIGE: They all left, man. They drained our alcohol supply and went home.
BOBBY: What about Jay?
PAIGE: I dunno.
AMIR: Jay? You mean the tall chick who leads our band?
BOBBY (cringing): Jay is a guy.
AMIR: Could you please introduce yourself before speaking to me?
PAIGE: BUUUUURP! Oh man, I need some antacid like now!
BOBBY: Look in the cupboard beneath the sink.
The three guys start going through cupboards in search of a remedy for Paige.
PAIGE: Dude, you should hear about this wicked phone call I just got.
BOBBY: Was it the Army again? Be all that you can be, Paige!
The guys are laughing over Bobby's oh-so-witty remark when Amir trips over his 3-inch platforms and falls on his face. As he does, a cel phone falls out of his pocket and slides across the floor. Bobby picks it up and gets ready to hand it back to him.
BOBBY: Here you go, dude.
AMIR: Ummm, thanks.
BOBBY: This phone is warm. Who did you just call?
AMIR (putting phone back into his pocket): Nobody.
BOBBY: Did somebody call you?
AMIR: I don't think so. Hmmmmm....no, definitely not.
Paige stops and stairs at Amir, who looks slightly uncomfortable.
PAIGE: Why are you so nervous, Amir?
AMIR: That's for me to know and you to find out.
PAIGE: AGGHHHH! You're the killer!
BOBBY: Huh?
PAIGE (crying): He killed our guitarist guy, Brian or Ryan or whatever, and now he's going to kill me!
AMIR: Why would I kill you?
BOBBY: I'm confused again.
PAIGE: Drummer guy, I'm sorry, I forget your name....
Bobby frowns
PAIGE: Don't you see? Amir is going to kill me, and then he's going to kill you, and where the hell is Jay? Jay is twice Amir's size and could kick his ass.
AMIR: Maybe Jay is dead.
PAIGE: Wahhh, he killed Jay!
Bobby pushes Amir up against a wall and holds him there
AMIR: What is your name, young man?
BOBBY: It's BOBBY! I want you to say my name! Say it!
AMIR: Uhhhh....Robby?
BOBBY: Grrrrr! You must confess, Amir!
AMIR: OK, I confess! (Confused pause) What am I confessing to?
BOBBY: You killed Ryan and Jay!
AMIR: Oh yeah! Wait a minute, who's Ryan?
PAIGE: Should I call the police?
BOBBY: No, don't!
PAIGE: OK! What should we do, then?
BOBBY: I dunno. Kill Amir?
PAIGE: Ohhh man, cool!
BOBBY: Yeah. So, like, how should we do it?
PAIGE: There's plenty of room in the fridge.
BOBBY: Cool! I saw this in a movie once!
Bobby and Paige set Amir down in the fridge and stare at him.
AMIR: It's cold in here!
PAIGE: Aww, poor guy. We should give him a jacket.
BOBBY: This guy threatened to kill you.
PAIGE: Oh yeah!
AMIR: Ewww. Who stuck dirty underwear in here?
BOBBY: It's your only friend now, you killer! Stay warm! Hehehehe.
Bobby closes the refrigerator, leaving Amir inside
Next...
