MY MOST PRECIOUS MIRACLE

APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER *NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a certified financial statement, job history, and current medical report from your doctor. Please be prepared to submit additional information, such as psychological profile and polygraph test, as requested. Name ___________________ Date of Birth __________ Social Security #___________ Driver?s license # __________ IQ __________ GPA __________ Home Address __________________________________________ ____________________________________________ Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversize tires? _____ A waterbed? _____ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? _____ A tattoo? _____ (If you answered YES to any of the last 5 questions, discontinue application and leave at ONCE!) In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? _____________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "DON?T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? _____________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "Abstinence" mean to you? _____________________________________________ What is your Church affiliation? __________ How often do you attend? __________ Best time to interview your Parents? __________ Your Preacher? __________ Your Employer? __________ Have you ever been fingerprinted? __________ Had a DNA sample taken & recorded? __________ Answer the following questions under oath: The one thing I hope this application does not ask about me is: _____________________________________________ A Woman?s place is in the: ___________________________________________ My greatest fear is: ____________________________________________ When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is: _______________________ *Note: If your answer begins with a T or A, discontinue and LEAVE AT ONCE, keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion, for your own safety. CERTIFICATION OF ACCURACY BY APPLICANT: I swear all information above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge, under penalty of death, dismemberment, Chinese water torture, and red hot pokers. ________________________________________ SIGNATURE If you have to ask what this means, you are a MORON, so tear up this application and leave immediately!) Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties, and carrying violin cases. (You might watch your back) Background Set by Bannerzrusgraphics © 2007 Bannerzrusgraphics.com MORE PAGES  DAD  GOD  MOM    FAMILY  ANGELS   A SPECIAL MAN  CANADIAN EH  MY AMERICAN FRIENDS  THE THIRD MAN  MOTHER’S DAY    LOVING MEMORIES    GRANDPA BAIN (By Carrie)    MAMA ROCKS   MacKENZIE ROSE DOREEN  MY ONE TRUE LOVE  ANGELS SPEAK WORKING with ANGELS Home