We start with Dawson's room, where a different sort of movie night is in progress. Elizabeth Taylor's on the screen in Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew." Dawson makes a comment that the Bard (Shakespeare, for you non-English majors) had it all mapped out in his plays: family revenge, gender battles, romance . . . but that his specialty was tragedy. Unfortunately, he isn't talking to Joey, but to his mum, who has joined him for the evening. I thought this was kinda cute, mother and son, both freshly dumped, bonding over Shakespeare and sweets. Gale has gone through almost a box of kleenex, and she's still crying as Dawson shuts off the video. He tells her he's worried about her, and wants to do something about her potential state of melancholy, that she's even crying during commercials. She tells Dawson she's worried about him, too, that he hasn't even wallowed since his break-up with Joey, he hasn't said a word about it. Dawson argues that wallowing won't do any good, and all the wallowing in the world won't bring Joey back (I hear ya, Dawson, I hear ya . . .).
Gale counters that he's missing the point, that wallowing isn't about getting the other person back or about them leaving, it's one of the few advantages of being a "dumpee." Such as what? Dawson wants to know. According to Gale, her wallowing check-list includes large quantities of red licorice and doughnuts, a newfound affinity for Country music and lots of writing bad, bitter poetry. Dawson's thinking more along the lines of watching the closing scene from "Field Of Dreams" over and over (haven't seen it, can't comment). Clearly, mother and son have different interpretations of self-pity!
But, Gale continues, while it gives you a legitimate excuse to bitch or scowl, every inch of pain that touches you makes you a more deeper and more real individual, no matter how old you are. Dawson is disappointed that the process doesn't get easier as you get older, to which Gale replies that it doesn't, you just get to go to bed eariler. She hopes she's been an acceptable subsititute for movie night, and Dawson tells her she was great. After she leaves, he sits down to watch another movie, and stares wistfully, almost painfully at the window (been there, done that . . . but with a door). He picks up a licorice stick and concentrates sadly on the TV.
In English class (yet another class everyone has together, sans Abby this time), the gang's teacher is pompously adapting a snippet of Romeo & Juliet: "What light through yonder window breaks? Tis the mid-term, and your impending failure is but hours away . . ." Assh*le. (sorry, I had to say that, I just HATE arrogant teachers, it's a huge pet peeve of mine . . . you know that expression: 'those who can, do, those who can't, teach'? well to me, they exemplify the bitterness associated with living up to the stereotype of the last part. But I'm digressing . . .)
Anyway, the insipid jerk hands out blank notebooks to the class, which they will be writing the answers to the mid-term in. Mr. Peterson then proceeds to tell his students that many of them would score higher if they handed in a blank book than a completed one. (Gee, how's that for inspirational and motivational? Someone ought to report the jerk to the proper authorities . . .) The mid-term is worth 50 per cent of the final grade, and will cover all the basics -- Shakespeare, Dickens, the Romantics and Beowulf . . . your basic nightmare. (This is one tough school . . . I didn't tackle Beowulf until 3rd-year university!) He "generously" offers a study-session which he suggests all his pupils attend, unless their parents have "donated a wing or two to an Ivy-League institution, in which case your tragic, east-coast, aristocratic, social alcoholic fate has already been sealed." (Okay, what is with this man . . . did Harvard, Cambridge and Princeton just collectively reject him or something? Can we say "bitter?!")
During Mr. Peterson's little tirade, the class is busy doing their own things, as one might expect. School ladykiller Chris passes Jen a note telling her to remember to smile, (oh how . . . original. And to think she actually falls for it . . . yeesh) and when Dawson's backpack falls down, he and Joey reach for it at the same time. Dawson glares at her and snatches it up. The teacher's rant concludes with the statement that this is more than an exam . . . (Big Dramatic Pause) it's life and death. (Sure, whatever pal. Get yourself life! I think all of us have had a teacher like that at some point, no?) When the bell finally rings, everyone bolts out of class like bats out of hell (hey, he's a bad English teacher, so I can use a bad English cliche, okay?).
In the hall, Dawson walks past Joey, who shouts after him that they are going to have to say something to each other at some point. "What do you want me to say? 'Go away?'" Dawson shouts. "You said you needed space, I'm giving you space." Joey tells him that isn't fair, and he replies, "To which one of us?" He continues, telling her that she can't make up all the rules. Joey says she doesn't want to do that. "Then what do you want?" he asks her angrily and walks away, while heads turn and tune in Capeside High's latest corridor couples' clash.
In the caf, Pacey and his main squeeze are eating . . . well, Pacey's playing resident food critic while Andie is looking through her latest Jane magazine. "Have you ever had a menage a trois . . ." she reads out loud. This gives Pacey pause enough from griping about the quality of the chips to proclaim, "All hail the queen of non-sequiters!" and inquire as to what, where and why that comment came from. When he sees her magazine, he comments that it's racier than Playboy, and that all the articles discuss "prolonging your this or arousing your that." Andie tells him she was quoting from a purity test. What's that, Pacey wants to know (me too, maybe it's cause I'm neither American nor a teenager, but I'd never heard of 'em up until that very instant). "It's an assortment of questions that gauge your level of sexual experience," she replies. Visions of Tamara dance through his head (it being the holiday season and all, I thought I'd throw that in there . . . sorry!). "O-kay, time to put that away now!" Pacey tells Andie, adding that it isn't his idea of fun.
Andie responds that she knows what he's up to, that she knows his history. "You do?" he gulps incredulously. Yes, she nods, she thinks Pacey's a typical guy who wants to project the air of an adventurous sexual existance, but really, his purity level is closer to Big Bird than Bill Clinton (so who does that make her . . . Hilary or Mr. Snuffalupogos?). Pacey pauses, then laughs uncomfortably. "You got me," he says off-handedly, conceding that he's embarrassingly pure.
Changing the subject, she asks if he's going to the Peterson cram-o-rama, but he declines. Andie chides him, telling him that it's too important to not go. He tells her that as committed as she is to getting an A, he is equally committed to getting a C, or possibly a D if her answer sheet isn't readily available. She gets even more outraged, and he asks her for one good reason why he should bother to go. "Me," she replies sweetly. (Ha ha ha . . . busted, pal! Boy, Andie's getting ole Pacey to do all sorts of things he never used to do - go to school dances, study . . . this girl is very good for him, indeed, and he likes her a lot more than even he knows if he's going along with it all) "Okay, I'll go," he offers. "But I'm not staying awake."
Out on the school track, Jen is warming up for gym class when Chris, her mash-note writer from English class, approaches. "Jen-a-lish-de-lish," he coos. (Okay, she deserves everything she gets if she falls for a line as nauseating as that.) Chris the cad purrs that she's going to be doing a long run this class, and wonders if she'd like someone to keep stride with her. She asks if he'd like to be that person, and he replies, "I'm a good pacer . . . I know when to speed up and slow down." (Oh God . . .) She declines, and he asks why she isn't receptive to his wiley charms. (Well jeez, he gave her the answer right there: "wiley" charms! Only other character I know with wiley charms is a certain Coyote who's trying to perpetually catch a certain Road Runner!) Jen snorts that he emits these "charms" to any girl within a six mile radius. Chris retorts that he has a car, so she can expand that to the whole tri-state area. (And he wonders why she isn't falling for this . . .) Jen smiles. "Mission accomplished," Chris notes with satisfaction, and leaves.
Dawson, noting the previous exchange, jogs over to Jen. "Ah, the hawk circles," he comments. Jen replies that Chris is just being cute, and that actually, he really is a little. Dawson wonders if Jen is aware that Chris's love 'em and leave 'em rap sheet is of epic proportions. Jen tells him to relax, then asks if he's going to the Peterson torture session. Nope, he replies, his existance lately consists of watching '70s tearjerkers with his mother. He asks if she's going, and she declines, but tells him that seeing as she isn't going to have a hot night of unbridled passion with Romeo (Chris . . . and this is classic foreshadowing, by the way, people!), that maybe she might check it out.
The dreaded hour of the study session rolls around, and the gang assembles to find a note on the door from Mr. Peterson -- he's got more important things to tend to than his class, and he's gone home with a cold. (good . . . I hope it develops into double bronchitis.) Chris suggests to Jen that she come over and study at his house, as his parents are away in St. Maarten. Jen declines, saying she wouldn't get any work done. "The lady questions my motives?" Casanova Chris asks. No problemo -- he tells Jen to invite some of her friends to make her more comfortable.
Chris asks Pacey and Andie to join them, but Andie says she was thinking more along the lines of the city library to do her studying. Pacey laughs and grabs her aside, where he tells her that they should go to Chris's place. "Since when were you so interested in forming a study group?" Andie asks suspiciously. Pacey admits Chris's family is "totally loaded" and that he really wants to go. She hesitantly okays it. (This is cute, because the old Pacey would have just gone ahead and never thought twice about going, but the new Pacey wants to get Andie's approval first. I like it!) With Andie and Pacey on his side, Chris asks Jen to join them. Copying Joey's lopsided grin, she agrees.
Andie approaches Joey outside school and inquires about her study plans. Joey replies that it'll just be her, her English Lit. book and a crying baby. Andie invites her to the study session, but Joey declines. "Chris Wolf's? (an appropriate surname, no?) You think that's a suitable study environment? I'd be better off with the crying baby." Andie replies, "Do you honestly think I would go if I didn't think it was anything less than beneficial? Don't worry, I am in mega-control of this event." (Um . . . yeah. Just like you were in mega-control of organizing the dance, right? Poor, sweet, deluded child!)
"Hey there, little buddy, where you going?" Pacey asks Dawson further down the school lawn. "Hi, Skipper," Dawson replies (Gilligan's Island . . . gotta love it!!), adding that he's going home because the study session was cancelled. Pacey tells Dawson he's going to a different study session, and invites him along. Dawson jokes that it must be a Pacey Witter code for "party" but Pacey says no, that it's a "true meeting of intellectuals in a highly-moderated studious environment." He can even get Dawson a ride there. Dawson consents, they go over to Chris's shiny red new sport-ute (I think it was a jeep, not sure) and Dawson climbs in the back, right next to . . . Joey.
They pull up to a huge, beautful house. In the foyer, Chris points out where things are, much like Hugh Hefner at the Playboy Mansion. "TV over there, jacuzzi and sauna out back . . . kitchen that way . . ." Pacey vanishes, taking full advantage of his surroundings. Chris also introduces them to his little sister Dina (more on her later). Joey questions how they are going to get any studying done, but Andie tells her to relax, that she's in complete control of the situation. Sounding like a director orchestrating a pivotal, complex scene in a summer blockbuster, she crisply tells Chris that the room he has offered for studying isn't going to work. "We need a long table, proper lighting and high-backed chairs," she barks, wondering where Pacey ran off to.
Andie finds him in the kitchen, marvelling at the Three Stooges in Cantonese on the sattelite TV. She's exasperated. "Why do you insist on undermining me at every opportunity you get?" She adds that between Pacey and their host, "there's no way I can expend energy on rounding up both of you" and drags him out into the study room, much like a mother dragging a kid out of a toy store. "But I wanna watch TV!" he whines in a voice like a four-year-old as she leads him by the hand out the kitchen door.
In the study area, Corporal McPhee is in full battle mode. She's organized a strenuous, if not impossible, plan of attack: they'll do each of the main sections on the exam in 30 minutes, with a few 15 minute breaks, so the entire course load will be covered by midnight. Then they'll do a one-hour speed round and still have time for a good night's sleep. It sounds exhausting, just to listen to, and with all those numbers being thrown around, it sounds more like a math midterm than an English one. Her strategy is met with silence from her soldiers. "Anybody wanna order a pizza?" Chris pipes up. Dawson, Jen and Pacey agree. When Andie starts to protest, Pacey tells her to think of it as several of their 15 minute breaks strung together.
In the wine cellar (yes, it's one of those kind of houses), Chris selects an '84 vintage from Napa, mostly to impress Jen. He gives her a little speil about the wine (which made me roll my eyes, seeing as he was two years old when it came out), commenting that he's always been taught to choose quality over labels (oh, puh-leeze . . .). Jen notes that they are getting to know each other without any sexual overtones, and Chris replies that it bothers him that she assumes the worst about him (No, it bothers you because she's hitting a little too close to home). She tells him that given their previous encounter and his reputation, what is she supposed to assume? He thinks they're a lot alike, and that their reputations aren't worth the air they are written on (a weird analogy, but whatever . . .). Using his most sincere voice and gaze, Chris tells Jen that the only way to get to know someone is to get to know them. Jen nods in acknowledgement, then shakes his hand. When it comes time to end the handshake, he tells her he doesn't want to let go just yet. (Oh Lord . . . I'm going to be physically ill if Mr. Smooth Operator spouts any more of these little pick-up lines . . . thank God he's not a recurring character . . .)
Back at Ground Zero, Andie is trying hard to galvanize the troops. Half game-show host, half military general, she's got a pencil tucked into her hair and is quizzing the gang on who the most famous of Romantic poets is. Jen gets it wrong, Pacey quotes lines from "Green Eggs & Ham" and offers the answer "Seuss" (which at least earns a laugh from the assembled masses), Chris walks in quoting lines from one of Hardy's poems (which Andie notes is most impressive, but also wrong) but Joey, naturally, has the right answer -- Keats. Andie is relentless, though, now she wants to know what Keats' most famous quote is. Joey thinks a moment, then Dawson interjects with "Beauty is truth, truth beauty," looking directly at Joey as he speaks (subtlety is obviously not his strong suit!). She gets flustered and admits that she forgot and he is right. "It would seem so," Dawson answers, almost smugly. She shoots him a dirty look, understanding the underlying meaning of his words exactly.
Psycho-wind-up-doll-gone-berserk Andie is on a roll, but attention is waning. Chris picks through the debris of books and papers on the table and comes across Andie's magazine with the purity test. He figured her more for a National Geographic kind of gal, but he suggests the gang take the test, just to chill out a bit. "We've been chilling out for two hours! We need to focus!" Andie whines, but Chris has an ally in Pacey, who tells her they need one last bonding event before hitting the books head-first. Everyone pretty much goes along with it, (except Joey, who notes they are already behind) and they proceed to the living room to find out a little more about each other than they wanted to know.
Andie almost turns the purity test into a test test, she takes control of it the same way she takes control of the English mid-term -- handing out papers and pencils, telling everyone the proper procedure for recording and marking answers and asking the questions. There's 100 questions, and the higher the score, the purer you are. (Seeing as I've never heard of or done one before, I'm playing along here . . . lucky you, getting to be privy to this! :p My answers are in brackets).
The gang take turns reading the questions. First up: Have you ever been intimately aroused by a relative? (No! . . . but I have a step-cousin who's a cutie, does that count?) Amid giggles, Pacey notes that it's a Southern test!. #13. (they skip through many of the questions, to denote the passage of time) Have you ever experimented with bondage? (pass) #22. Have you ever gotten cozy on an airplane? (Nope) #23. In a public place (subway train . . . so I guess, yes) #24. Parents bed (NEVER!) #68. Have you ever heard your parents have sex? (Nope, as far as I'm concerned, they've only done it once and here I am as the result of it!). Incidentally, Dawson smiles to himself as he answers this one, it's really cute. #69 (big whoops of Beavis & Butt-head laughter from the group here) Have you ever named your most private member? (eeeewwww . . . nope)
More questions follow, but there's no numbers: Have you ever had any sexual activity with a member of the same sex? (nope) With a transvestite? (nope) With a four-legged creature? (do I even have to go there? I mean, I love my cat, but . . .) The gang cracks up at this last one. Have you ever paid for sex? (nope) "Does dinner count?" asks Pacey, amid more giggles. Andie asks #84: Have you ever fantasized about a friend's significant other? (thinking . . . um . . . no, actually!) Joey and Jen exchange a significant looks on this one, while Andie notes the room is very quiet. Well sure, between the situations in the past with Pacey & Joey, Joey & Dawson and Jen & Dawson, there's a lot of pencils scratching on this one! Next: Have you ever had an affair with a friend's signifcant other? (no . . . well, yes . . . um . . . it's complicated . . . sigh. Pass.) Have you ever had an affair with your friend's pet? (who dreams these questions up, I'd like to know!) Pacey wonders out loud why he gets to ask all the animal questions!
The last question is read by Joey in a very rushed manner: "Have you ever been in love? If so, give yourself one purity point for each time." (yes, twice) Joey stares at Dawson, gets up and walks into the kitchen. He follows her and tells her he saw the look on her face when she asked that question. She barks at him, "Not now!" and says she went into the kitchen to study and asks if this is his version of space. Dawson says she's free to leave, and that he doesn't see her running away. She reiterates that she came there to study, not to see him. "Is it so awful that I'm here?" Dawson demands. "Stop putting words in my mouth!" Joey shouts back. "I asked for time, please respect that!" She storms out.
Unfortunately, their lover's tiff had an audience -- Chris's little sister, Dina. Dawson notices her and asks where the coffee is. "Drip or instant?" she asks. "Drip." "Appropriate," she muses. (Ye-ouch!) "Tough room," Dawson mutters. "With me? Always." The kid's a mini-Abby in training. "So, do you care to fill me in on the details of your little love affair?" Dina asks. "I'd rather not talk about it," Dawson replies curtly. Seems like Dina likes her men broody and petulant: "You're right," she says soothingly. "Why talk? People like you and me can just say everything there is to say with looks." To illustrate her point, she gazes up into his face adoringly, making googly-eyes. Seems like Dawson's stumbled across yet another one who has a thang for him!
Back in the living room, Andie is totalling purity test scores, with predictable results (remember, the higher, the more pure you are -- and I just realize I've been gypped cause I didn't get to really answer all the questions! So I shared all my answers for nothing!): Chris has 66 per cent, Jen follows with 69 (how appropriate), Dawson and Joey are tied at 85 per cent (again . . . how appropriate) and Andie herself seems to be pleased with her score of 92. But wait, one's missing . . . she scolds Pacey for not turning his in (I hope this kid's gonna be a teacher when she grows up, she's got the whole control-freak / disciplinarian thing already down-pat). Pacey says he didn't want to turn it in. (and we never do find out his score, either ... I'm guessing it's around the same as his biology grade ... about a 52?)
Chris asks if the reason Pacey hesistated in turning in his answer sheet is because of the answer he gave to a certain question #16. What was #16, Andie wants to know? Pacey protests, but Chris persists, wanting to know what he put for #16. Andie asks again what #16 was. Jen, knowing where this is going, pleads with Chris to stop, but he won't, saying he wants to put an old rumour to rest. "Is there anything other than your house that's redeeming about you?" Pacey asks him angrily. Andie, frustrated at being ignored, decides to find out for herself just what #16 is: "Have you ever had sex with someone twice your age? Oh, I get it, it's a joke, right Pacey?" The look on his face says it all, he's completely crestfallen. "So it's true! You were laying pipe with Ms. Jacobs! I don't know whether to congratulate you or fall off my chair!" Chris hoots triumphantly.
Suddenly, the puzzle pieces fit together for Andie. "Ms. Jacobs . . . the teacher who left Capeside?" She's stunned. "You said you were 'embarrassingly pure' Pacey, those were your words, right?" She runs out of the room, close to tears. Pacey looks at Chris completely enraged, then chases after Andie.
Outside on the deck, Dawson asks Chris where everyone's gotten to. Chris is warming up the hot tub for a dip. He tells Dawson Andie and Pacey are probably off having make-up sex, which is the best kind in his opinion. "I wouldn't know," Dawson answers miserably. Chris tells him not to worry, and that the way he and Joey are going at it, there's bound to be some serious make-up sex in the future. (Hmm . . . foreshadowing again, perhaps?)
But that's enough talk about other people, Chris wants to know how Dawson thinks he's doing with Jen, seeing as Chris knows Dawson and Jen used to date. Dawson acknowledges that Chris has never had much trouble attracting the opposite sex. Yes, Chris admits, but Jen is different, and closing this deal requires a different strategy. Mr. Clueless Wonder asks Chris, "Wait a sec, are you talking about sleeping with her?" (well . . . duh!) To which Chris replies, "No, I was thinking about a heavy game of Uno." (okay, much as I don't like him, that was funny!) Dawson insists it won't happen, but Chris tells him "we'll see." Dawson orders him not to take advantage of Jen because she's vulnerable. Chris, who has an answer for everything, replies with, "Don't worry . . . I'm not going to do anything she's not looking forward to." Now it's Dawson's turn to say "we'll see." Chris tells him that if he wants proof, when Dawson looks up and sees the lights out in the guest room, it means Chris will be inside with Jen, lowering their purity levels, while Dawson will be out here, alone. Nice guy, that Chris. The kind you want to bring home to your mother ...
In the aforementioned guest room, Jen and Joey are uncomfortably settling in. Jen is impressed that there are brand new swimsuits available just for guests, and asks Joey if she's going to give in to the hot tub temptation (something Jen takes a tad too literally). Joey says no, she's just going to study. In an effort to be genuine (I believe Jen's being sincere here, I really do), Jen tells Joey that she really is sorry about Dawson and her breaking up, even though she knows Joey won't believe it. She's right, Joey doesn't. Jen's hurt her peace offering was rebuffed. "Thanks for making our conversations as delightful as usual!" she snaps, adding that she used to think the reason the two of them didn't get along was because of their mutual feelings for Dawson, but now she can see Joey is just a bitch, period.
Joey realizes she's been a bit harsh and tells Jen she's just sick of talking about it all the time, that she wants to just follow her feelings and not think and discuss it, because she's run the subject into the ground. She asks Jen, in a rare unguarded moment, "Don't you just want to have something left to ... just experience?" "As much as anyone," Jen replies after a second's thought, and the two girls look at each other, each understanding the other's situation and desire to be in the other's place -- not with Dawson, but as people. Jen wants to reclaim some of Joey's innocence and Joey wants to gain some of Jen's experience. I think the two of them bond more in this one exchange than they did all last season.
Pacey and Andie's bond, meanwhile, is rapidly coming unglued outside. She's staring off into space as he approaches, relieved she didn't walk home. (side note: don't any of these kids' parents / guardians care that they all just didn't bother to come home, on a school night?) Andie wants to know why Pacey didn't tell her about Ms. Jacobs. He shrugs and says it didn't come up. She disagrees, and says it did and he lied. Pacey wonders what he should have told her: "'Oh, before you fall for me, Andie, I slept with my teacher?' There's an easy sentence!" He laughs a little, but she doesn't find it funny. Despite his braggart tendencies, she doesn't consider what he did exactly an admirable event.
Pacey's hurt by this. He says it isn't fair, and that she's judging him without knowing the circumstances. "I slept with her, not you," he tells Andie. (I had to think about what the hell he meant by that at first . . . I was like, OF COURSE Andie didn't sleep with her, what kind of stupid thing is that to say? And then I thought he meant he slept with Tamara as opposed to sleeping with Andie, but then I figured out he means Andie wasn't in the situation, so she shouldn't comment.) "Why'd you do it, why?" Andie asks, but she gets an answer she doesn't like: "Sex." Pacey replies, a little too bluntly for her liking. "I take it back, I don't want to know," she responds. (Ya see? That's the trouble with asking people questions . . . you might not get the response you're after . . .)
Andie asks if there were any feelings involved, and Pacey replies of course there were. She shakes her head and comments that Pacey isn't like that (how well can she really know him after such a short period of time?). His answer shocks her even more than his first one did: "Of course I'm like that! I'm a sexual creature." (O-kay, wait. Between Dawson being a "sexual being" a few episodes ago, and Pacey's revelation that he's a "sexual creature" now -- what the hell is happening to the men on this show?! :) Who's next? Jack? What's his big sexual proclaration gonna be, that's he's a sexual misfit? Actually, come to think of the rumours I've been hearing . . .)
Anyway. Pacey tells Andie that not only is he a sexual being, but she is, too. She protests, but he insists -- citing the purity test as an example. "Why do you think we all joke and talk about it and give these tests?" "That's different, it's innocent!" she splutters. "Sex is never innocent, Andie," Pacey counters in a very wise manner. "Sex is passionate and intense and it can even be life-altering, but it is never innocent." (another subliminal Public Service Announcement from the writers . . . to be fair though, I'm really pleased they had Pacey deal with this whole thing in a typical 15-year-old guy way, and not a preachy, I-know-I-did-wrong-and-I've-learnt-my-lesson way.) Pacey concludes that he's really sorry if it changes the way Andie feels about him, but he can't change that, and if they're going to continue with their relationship, she has to learn to accept it.
Inside the house, Chris tells Jen the hot tub is ready. She comes down in a dressing gown, and Dawson pulls her aside for a big brother chat. He's worried Chris doesn't have the best of intentions. Jen figured that already. Dawson persists. "Are you aware his goal is to sleep with you tonight?" he asks. "He's a guy, he's 16 and he seems to find me reasonably attractive. So yes, I would assume he has some sort of agenda." "And you're okay with that?" Dawson asks incredulously. Jen counters that just because Chris has some sort of master plan, doesn't mean she's going to go along with it, and she gently chides Dawson for his sudden interest.
After she leaves, Dawson is distracted by a small voice from an equally small person. "Pssst! Gorgeous!" Dina's on the prowl again. "So, you dated both of them." It's more of a statement than a question. "You do your research," Dawson mutters sarcastically. "Which one's the one?" she wants to know. "On your test, you said you'd only been in love once. Who is it? Cameron Diaz or Julia Roberts?" (she's obviously referring to "My Best Friend's Wedding" here, but apart from hair colour, I think the comparisons to the characters are not at all suitable, but that's just me!) Dawson wants to know how Dina knows his answer to the test, and she magically pulls the whole stack of answer sheets out.
Dawson makes a grab for his answer sheet, but Dina won't let him. She has one he'd be even more interested in . . . Joey's, and she expresses disgust that Joey puts smiley-faces in her o's. (I don't see this! Andie for sure, but our tough tomboy Joey? Then again, she is softening this season . . .) When Dawson lunges for the paper, Dina tells him "this toll has a fee." "O-kay . . ." he answers suspiciously. She leans forward, closes her eyes and puckers up. Dawson laughs, he's not up for pedophiliac activities. "You've gotta be kidding me! That's not going to happen," he tells her. Dina gives up and gives in, telling him what he didn't want to hear: "I think you'll find her last answer interesting. According to you-know-who's answer sheet, she's been in love . . . twice." (She's a great little actress, by the way, part Abby, part Joey, part Andie and part Jen!)
In the hot tub, Chris and Jen are getting hot and steamy. Jen breaks away and says it's time to study, but Don Juan will have none of that. "Relax . . . we're in the hot tub. Studying is not permitted." He kisses her. "What if I don't wanna mess around?" she asks. "Then we won't," he answers. "I'm not a bad guy, I just wanna have fun." Good enough for Jen. They kiss. "Are we on the same page?" he asks. "Same page," she answers, (yeah, but what's the name of the book? The Kama Sutra?) as Dawson watches from the kitchen. His interest in Jen isn't romantic here, I'd venture it's just out of concern.
Andie storms past Pacey, and through the kitchen past Dawson. Pacey follows her in and meets Dawson in the kitchen, who asks if Andie's okay. Pacey tells him she'll be fine, she just needs to be alone. "Why didn't you just write 'no'?" Dawson wonders. Pacey says he didn't want to lie to her, and asks Dawson what he would have done. Dawson thinks, then replies he likes to think he would have been honest, but that he doesn't know, and that he seems to have a lot of trouble saying things lately. Pacey puts a hand on his shoulder and looks him squarely in the eye. "You know what?" "What?" "Try harder," Pacey states simply. It's a very adult, male-bonding kind of moment.
So, Dawson does try harder. Unfortunately, it doesn't get him far. He goes up to Joey, who is outside on the back deck, studying. "No more rounds tonight" she tells him, but he ignores her. "I thought what we had was special." She won't budge, telling him she's serious and wants to study. But he won't budge and is serious too. "How come you said you'd been in love twice?" She's furious he looked at her paper, but he assures her he's learnt his lesson about invading her privacy, and that Chris's little sister imparted that info to him. "You said I was your world!" he shouts. "I refuse to believe you're that shallow that you could fall in love with Jack after one kiss!"
She's horrified. Horrified he won't leave her alone, horrified he read her answer and horrified she has to deal with this right now, when she's trying to maintain her perfect GPA. "Why can't we just be friends?" Joey pleads. "Why can't we go back to the way things were?" Dawson tells her if that's what she really wants, which she insists it is. He tells her (personal deja-vu for me here) that if she can't understand why they can't just be friends, then she doesn't get him at all.
In the background, Dina claps at Dawson's performance, citing it as Oscar-nominating and very emotional. He tells her to go away,but she won't budge, either. So he unleashes all his pent-up anger on her, at the top of his lungs: "You want a kiss?! Are you prepared for all the repercussions that come with a kiss?! (I got really scared right here that he was actually going to kiss her for a second . . .) Because heats get broken and your entire life can fall apart with just one kiss, so do yourself a big favour and don't rush it!" The poor little thing is terrified, she runs away from psycho-boy scared out of her wits. Joey has overheard this, meanwhile, shoots Dawson an incredulous look and leaves.
As per Chris's prediction, Dawson is on the deck all alone. He notices the hot tub is empty, then gazes up into the guest room, where the lights are out. That's it, the last straw. He sits with his head in his hands and exhales deeply.
Joey goes in Dina's room to comfort her and hang out with the "only sane individual here." Dina is lying on her bed, miserable. "He's so mean!" she laments. "All boys are," Joey shrugs. "It's the easiest way for them to express themselves." Dina tells her she's going to avoid growing up at all costs. "Sounds good," Joey agrees. "Let me know if you have any luck." Dina's puzzled, isn't Joey supposed to be convincing her that growing up can be beautiful, if she'll justlet it? (I chuckled at that, the kid's so cynical, she sounds like a miniature Joey!)
Joey smiles, and tells Dina that as she's older than her, here's the how-it-works speech: "Growing up sucks. Not all kisses are magic and most boys do not live up to your expectations. But there are those times when everything -- love, romance, relationships -- fall together, and it's wonderful. No matter how depressingly few and far between those moments are, they make growing up worth it." She hugs Dina and tells her she'll be okay. (Awww!)
Out on the deck again, Dawson is attemping to read, but can't concentrate. He puts his head down for a moment . . . next thing you know, it's morning, and he's fallen asleep in his chair. He goes into the living room where Joey and Andie are asleep on the couch and Pacey on the pool table. The chimes of the grandfather clock wake up Andie. She's in total panic . . . the girl certainly does not need a morning coffee fix to wake up, that's for sure. "What are we going to do?" she wails, warming up to full hyperbabble mode. "We fell totally asleep, so now we're totally unstudied, totally unprepared and totally screwed!"
In a scene that is sure to provide "dog-walking" material for some male DC viewers, Jen awakes, undressed and hair-tousled, in Chris's bed . . . alone. He's already dressed and ready to go downstairs. When he sees her awake, he goes over and dutifully kisses her and thanks her. "For what?" she answers, a bit puzzled. "A very fun night," he replies. The camera pans to two open condom packages on his bedside table (TWO? Go, speed racer! Then again, he is 16, and males hit their sexual peak around what . . . 18? So I suppose this could be feasible . . .) Congratulations, Jen, how does it feel to be another notch on the bedpost? She scrambles to get out of bed and go downstairs with Chris, but he tells her to take her time and leaves. By the look on her face, she knows she screwed up (no pun intended) badly.
Downstairs, Andie's ranting wakes up Pacey, who, after hitting his head on the pool table lamp, takes charge of things in a surprisingly efficient and effective manner. Telling the group they are in the hands of a professional crammer, he is going to deliver an abbreviated version of Andie's lesson plan. They have 4 hours before the test, and he figures his version of studying will take 3 hours and 45 minutes. "Pacey, this test --" Andie begins, but he puts an arm around her shoulder and keeps going, full steam ahead. "First up, Baywolf! (um, not to be confused with Baywatch, right Pacey? If he's pronouncing Beowulf as Baywolf, then the gang is in serious trouble . . .) How many monsters were there, and name one!"
The next several scenes are terrific. They're all short and choppy, indicating the struggle the gang is having to cram everything in to such a short period of time. There's a brief argument about the Bronte sisters, questions about Gullivers Travels, Macbeth and the Canterbury Tales (Jeez ... I don't remember having an English exam this hard in four whole years as an English major!), all intercut with scenes of Pacey checking things off on an easel, breaking a rack of balls on the pool table and this really neat thing where all six of them are shown individually sitting poolside, quoting a line or two from a passage of Shakespeare while wearing sunglasses. Hard to explain, but it looks really cool. It all resembles a haphazard game of charades mixed with Pictionary! Pacey's in total control, barking out questions and answers like a drill sargeant. Even Andie is impressed.
When they are finished, Pacey suggests one last group activity . . . they all look at the pool lustfully, then run out and dive in, fully-clothed. (James Van Der Beek does a very impressive somersault into the pool!) They all emerge, clothes clinging to their bodies (Katie's shot in particular I'm sure left several males a little faint of heart). Andie grabs Pacey and tells him she's impressed with the way he took control in there. He shrugs it off, saying he performs well under pressure.
Andie segues into a discussion about the night before, and tells him she udnerstands why he didn't want to jump forward with the information about Tamara, after all Andie herself is the queen of keeping dirty little secrets. Andie sasy she was just "shocked that you had so much experience and well, I . . ." ". . .will," Pacey finishes for her. (More foreshadowing, anyone? Hmmm?) It's her way of telling him she's still a virgin, but she gets flustered at his sly response and calls him a jerk, then a slacker jerk, then a champion slacker jerk.
Pacey asks what that makes her, then, and she replies she doesn't know, and then dares him to tell her. "You, Andie McPhee, are the girl I love to hate," he tells her softly. "I love to hate you too," she smiles and they lean in for a kiss. (I should add that the sight of Josh Jackson with a wet white undershirt on and his hair all messed up is very . . . nice. A-hem!) After they break apart, in a kiss that clearly leaves him wanting more (evidenced by the look on his face and the contented little sigh he makes) they're back to their usual banter: "Not forgiven!" Andie chimes. "Good to know," he replies, and they go inside.
Dawson's determined to have his talk with Joey. He goes into her room and asks to speak with her, but when she agrees, he begs her to keep quiet and let him talk, because every time they speak, he screws it up. He begins by saying all he's been thinking about is how much he wishes he could take back their first kiss, because then they would still be best friends. If he'd let her just climb through the window that night, then he wouldn't be hurting right now. Joey is horrified, and visibly upset that he's been thinking this. (could be worse Joey, he could have told you he wished he'd never met you in the first place, or that you were dead . . .)
He continues: "Then I think about everything that kiss brought into my life, and how I got to know not just what you were thinking, but how you were feeling, because I was feeling it too, and then it was all worth it. It was worth all the pain. I want to regret kissing you, but I can't. It was the smartest decision I ever made." (Can I just say that I think that is probably one of the sweetest things I've ever heard? Even if it is just a line on a TV show.)
Joey is blown away. She explains, much to Dawson's relief, who she fell in love with for the second time on her purity test: him. The first time was when he was her friend, she fell in love with the boy from across the creek that she grew up with. But after they kissed, she fell in love all over again and he became a whole new person to her. Joey confesses that just because she and Dawson aren't together anymore, it doesn't change her feelings for him. (YES! Hope! Hope, people, there's hope yet for the two of them!) "It's me I'm unsure of," she says, leaving the rest of the sentence hanging in the air. She isn't unsure of him, or her love for him, or even his love for her. (Maybe everything will be okay after all, guys . . .)
Dawson smiles at her. "I'm going to give you space, Joey. No verbal hostility, no underhanded comments. Just space. Because it doesn't change the way I feel about you. Nothing can change that." (Okay, this was just so darn sweet, my heart almost melted. It almost restored my faith in men . . . almost.) The way Joey looks at him too, she takes it all in, and it's just evident they were simply meant to be, no matter what.
Dina, the baby sister, is still asleep. Dawson goes into her room and gently kisses her forehead, it's really sweet. After he leaves, her eyes flicker open and she smiles broadly. For an only child, he makes a cute big brother . . . certainly better than Chris who just drives off to school with his friends and leaves his little sister alone in the house! (side note: in the car, Pacey passes Joey her seat belt from behind her, where he's sitting with Andie . . . I just thought that was really sweet!)
When the gang arrive at school for the test, they find a note on the door from the odious Mr. Peterson: "Dear class, sometimes, preparation teaches you more than the test itself. Illness has claimed me for another day." The test is rescheduled for the next day. The six of them stand about in the hall, wondering what to do now, it's kind of anti-climactic for them. Andie suggests they just go to class, but Pacey has one last group activity in mind, and urges them to follow him, and they do, to the football field, where all six fall asleep around the school logo on the grass.
Peterson's right -- the preparation they had in the class of life the night previous was much more important than the preparation they had that morning for their English class. All of them took a test of sorts, some failed, others passed with flying colours (I'll let you draw your own conclusions . . . it's all debatable), but what they learnt made a silly English mid-term pale by comparison.
Fade to black...