On the very first day I arrived back in Sydney, I got Maureen to help me to move from my parents' place to my new home in the city.... I went back to work again in the next day... I bumped into Vinci early in the morning while he came to our floor... We both exchanged a friendly smile... Once again, I felt Vinci so close to me again... but yet, he didn't belongs to me anymore...

After I came back to Sydney, my thinking has changed a lot... First of all, I really have accepted the fact that Vinci will never be mine again.... That he only belongs somewhere in my past.... I started to go out a lot more with my friends... I really wanna to pick up my social life again... This is something that I have lost in the past few years... So I started to see colleagues, ex-colleagues, friends I know many years ago, etc.. etc... Life is so full with dinners and drinks.... I started to enjoy this kind of life... Being responsible for myself, doing everything all for myself...

I have gone out with a few guys lately... Ever since I came back from Hong Kong, I have been going out with different guys... Nothing serious, just having a few good companies around... I am just too scared to get into another serious relationship again... I just couldn't afford to lose again... It took me a very long time to stand up again and learnt to live my life alone... I am happy with my life style right now... Just don't wanna anyone to come into my life and break that peace of mind...

No matter who I go out with right now... I always put myself first in everything... I know I have become more seifish nowadays because I don't think about others as much... I just go on my own way and do things that will make myself happy... But what's wrong with that?? If I don't treat myself better, who will?? The funny thing is, the more you learn to be good to yourself, the more people will come and be good to you.... Maybe this is one of life's irony....