<title> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED – Joke 35 </title>

<B><P>GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED</B><BR>

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1. Raising teenagers is like nailing JELLO to a tree.<BR>

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2. There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.<BR>

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3. One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.<BR>

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4. The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires.<BR>

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5. Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.<BR>

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6. Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts.<BR>

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7. Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.<BR>

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8. My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.<BR>

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9. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.<BR>

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10. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.<BR>

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11. This is only a test, had this been an actual emergency everyone would have fled in terror without telling you. <BR>

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