No Life Humor and Jokes
All of you who have nothing to do with your time, we are here to see that you laugh your head off in plain stupidity. This is our humor section and some humor you may find insulting or STUPID (duh!), but it is JUST HUMOR! Remember that we are ridicuously insane people, and we HAVE NO LIFE!!! So please stay calm (for as long as you can) and enjoy the ride.
Things to Ponder About:
*Who's the jackass that out an "s" in the word "lisp"?
*IF you put your emergency keys on the dashboard, incase you get locked out of your truck or car, doesn't that defeat the purpose?
*Why bother putting a sign in the back of a truck that says "Do not follow this truck" if the only way you can see the sign is if you follow the truck?
*If pigs eat pork, wouldn't they be cannibals?
*Hamburger is not made of HAM. I repeat, Hamburger is not made with HAM.
*Does Fuzzy Logic tickle?
*What color do Smurfs bleed?
*What color do Smurfs turn when they're cold?
*Do people with big egoes still fit into their hats?
*Why are there so many Comecozzie mosquitoes?
*Is there a reason mice and rats eat the poison people set out?
*Why isn't Homework against the Child Labor Laws?
*Why do people say "hell" in church? Isn't that considered cursing?
*Who actually thought Clinton was telling the truth, anyway?
*Everyone in every generation talks about the "Olden Days". When were the Olden Days?
*Is there a purpose why kids can never open their lockers?
*Do the school lunches come from rubber trees?
*Why should the word "abbreviation" have an abbr.?
*Blueberries are definetly blue, so what does that tell us about strawberries?
*Who would God swear to if he was a witness in court?
*If demons can't tell the truth, than what's with my little brother?
*Why does Mistoffelees' name mean 'worker of the Devil'?
*I feel that brushes are like brothers-- dense, lots of teeth and no brains
*Why did the chicken cross the road?
*If the Energizer battery is arrested, who wil charge him with battery?
*When does "The Song That Never Ends" end?
*My Mind: "...And I'm not coming back either!"
*I was never normal, nor do I care to be ever again
*Are Analogies really true? I believe that Teacher is to Demons as School is to Hell
*Why do teachers call on you when you don't know the answer?
*Who voted for Clinton anyone?
*If we put animals asleep for being mean, why are there so many teachers?
*How do Principals make you feel so guilty even if you're not?
*Why do I always end up sitting behind the guy Nicole likes and not the guy I like?
*Do Germans think in German?
*Should there really be a rule 'No dinero, no Cerveza'? I mean, I don't drink, but still...
Here you have a display of our favorite lines from Mystery Men, which are in their own list to save typing “from Mystery Men” after every line.
“People who don’t close their mouths when they chew, make me furious.” –Mr. Furious
“Checkerhead.” –Mr. Furious
“I will keep dreaming, my friend. And when I wake up… you better hope that you’re asleep.” –Mr. Furious
“…’cause I will go Pom-pay on your… butt.” –Mr. Furious
“Sweet dreams… Lilac.” –Mr. Furious
“Well, I am a ticking time bomb of fury.” –Mr. Furious
“But I suppose I can fork-give you if you fork-get.” –Blue Raja
“But I guess I’m hanging with Lazy Boy…and…and… wait a second… and… the Recliner!” –Mr. Furious
“Yo, what’s up, Tiger Lily?” –Mr. Furious
“Dad, I’m going to my room with three strange men.” –Invisible Boy
“Oh, play dead.” –Blue Raja
“When I was thirteen years of age, I was walking with some friends when I accidently cut the cheese. Well, in my adolescent awkwardness, I blamed it on an old gypsy woman who happened to be passing by. Big Mistake! She place a curse on my head and declared that I was was he who smelt it, I, would forevermore, be he who dealt it!” –a rather long quote, I know, from the Spleen
“I am… ballerina man!” –Ballerina Man (sort of)
“Is there a problem with that?” “Why don’t you tell me?” “Why don’t you tell me?” “Why don’t you tell me?” “Why don’t you tell me!?” --The Bowler & Mr. Furious
“He is either very smart or very dumb.” --Mr. Furious
“Franken-puss!” –Mr. Furious
“Uh… please don’t correct me. It sickens me.” –Mr. Furious
“Do you wanna go back in the bag?” –The Bowler
“I don’t need a compass to tell me which way the wind shines.” –Mr. Furious
“Toggles? You mean like switches?” –Mr. Furious
“Everyone heard me say ‘reset’, right?” –Mr. Furious
“Just because you have problems at home, doesn’t mean you can go around killing people.” –Invisible Boy
“What the fork?!” –Blue Raja
“If I don’t call you in the morning, it’s because I’m dead.” –Mr. Furious
“May the forks be with us.” –Blue Raja (of course)
“You dress in the matter of a male prostitute.” –Sphinx (if he does, he looks very hot anyway, and I don’t mean heat-hot)
“Maybe you should put some shorts on or something if you wanna continue fighting evil today.” –The Bowler
“I can’t feel my ass! I can’t feel my ass!” –The Spleen
As you can see, Matty's loves Mr. Furious. He's a great actor, funny, and a real cutie! And if he looks like a male prostitute in his costume i'd like to come by him on the street... (jk!)
Quotes from the movie How The Grinch Stole Christmas are on the way!!!!
Funny pictures
Misto in Awe
Jacob Brent in a FAKE "Got Milk"
Coricopat and Tantomile totally wowed
And remember: Wouldn't life be boring if we didn't have anything nice to say so we didn't say it at all?
WE NEED MORE INPUT SO FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ANY STUPID OR FUNNY STUF YA GOT: NotoriousJerrie@lie.co.uk OR Rumpelteazer@n2dancing.com
