Spam
Spam, Spam,Spam,Spam,Spam
Lovely spam, wonderful spam etc etc
Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong
Bing tiddle tiddle bang tiddle tiddle
bong tiddle tiddle
tiddley ding ding etc.
Lumberjack Song
I'm a lumberjack and I'm O.K.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
He's a lumberjack And he's O.K.
He Sleeps all night And he works
all day
I cut down trees I eay my lunch
I go to the lavatory
On Wednesday I go shopping And have
buttered scones for tea
chorus
I cut down trees I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I put on womens clothing and hang around
in bars
chorus
I cut down tress I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra
I wish i'd been a girlie Just like
my dear papa
Always look on the Bright side of
life
<spoken>Some things in life are
bad, they can really make you mad,
other things just make you swear and
curse <Sung>
when your chewing on life's grisle,
don't grumble give a whistle
and this'll help things turn out for
the best and...
Allways look on the bright side
of life, <whistle>
allways look on the light side of
life <Whistle>
If life seems jolly rotten, theres
something you've forgotten
and thats to laugh and smile and dance
and sing,
when you're feeling in the dumps, don't
be silly chumps
just purse your lips and whistle thats
the things
chorus
For life is quite absurd and thats
the final word
you must always face the curtain with
a bow,
Forget about your sin give your audience
a grin,
enjoy it its your last chance of the
hour
Allways look on the bright side
of death, <whistle>
and just before you draw your terminal
breath<Whistle>
Life's a piece of shit when you look
at it,
Life's a laugh and thats the joke its
true
you'll see its all a show keep em laughing
as you go,
just remember that the last laugh is
on you
chorus a few more times
69(I shouldn't have put this on the page)
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you moralize,
When I'm between your thighs;
You blow me away!
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face and let my love be truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
And we'll sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play,
'Till we're blown away!
The Galaxy Songfrom the meaning of life
Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown,
And things seem hard or tough,
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft,
And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ough,
Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And reolving at nine thousand miles an hour.
It's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
The sun that is the source of all our power.
Now the sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
Are moving at a million miles a day,
In the outer spiral arm, at fourteen thousand miles an hour,
Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way.
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred million stars;
It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side;
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick,
But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide.
We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point,
We go 'round every two hundred million years;
And our galaxy itself is one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.
Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
In all of the directions it can whiz;
As fast as it can go, that's the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth;
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!
Every sperm is sacred
There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists,
there are Hindus and Mormons and then
there are those that follow Mohammed -but-
I've never been one of them.
I am a Roman Catholic
and have been since before I was born,
and the one thing they say about Catholics is
they'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on, you're
a Catholic the moment dad came
...Because...
Every sperm is sacred,
every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate. (2x)
Let the heathens spill theirs,
on the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
each sperm that can't be found.
Every sperm is wanted,
every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed,
in your neighborhood.
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
spill theirs just anywhere
but God loves those who treat their
semen with more care.
(misc choruses)
Every sperm is useful,
every sperm is fine.
God needs everybodies,
mine, and mine, and mine.
Let the pagans spill theirs
on mountain hill and plain.
God shall strike them down for
each sperm that's spilled in vain.
(misc. choruses and finale)
