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Yes I'm HOT HOT HOT!The Rant PagesHey, I'm hot too!


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Here's a pretty little index to help those of you who don't want to scroll...

Abortion
About Seinfeld
Anorexia and Bulemia
Birthdays
Pop Culture
Psychology
Religious Converters
Remakes
Suicide
Tipping
Warning Labels
Why Cult Classic Stars Should Never Forsake Their Characters

Abortion

I know, I know, I'm going to get mail saying..."but you're advocating murder!!!" First, with a world population of over 6 billion stupid people, of course I think a few less people is not a bad thing. Second, first and second trimester abortions are perfectly acceptable when they're spontaneous, right? When the woman's body says "Look, I can't have a baby in this stress" and poops it out, we don't bomb the hospital where she went for medical help. And no one seems to mind when we help the body along in things like plastic surgery, reconstructive surgery, amputation of a gangrened appendage...so why do we care when the woman's mind, instead of her body, says "Look, I can't support a baby right now," and has medicine help her poop it out? There is a line...yes. I think that on one hand, third trimester abortions are cruel and unusual. Then again, I think allowing a baby to be born to stupid parents that can't provide for it or raise it in an intellectual environment is also cruel and unusual. Abortion costs less than the other alternative in that case. Flame away. Besides, where the hell does anyone get off telling someone what to do with their body?? For more on that subject, scroll down to my touching article on suicide.

About Seinfeld

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm treading on some toes here...funny, people can be tolerant of abortion arguments, euthanasia arguments, but don't touch their Seinfeld...prioritize, people.
Okay, first, I'd like to congratulate Seinfeld on being considered the funniest show of all time. However, if I ever met any of these people in real life...I'd have to kill them. You're breaking up with me because I brush my teeth wrong?? Because I laugh strangely? You know, I guess it's good that these people can't find mates...we don't want them to breed MORE, do we??

Anorexia and Bulemia

Ahhh...women's liberation, women's movements, dikes...great. Now if only women would stop starving themselves to impress the men they're after, we might be seen as something more than a glass doll on a shelf--something pretty to look at every once in a while, but ultimately useless and fragile. This sickens me...and it's called a psychological disease. You know, the mind is a funny thing. An idea can turn into a habit can turn into an unbreakable habit can turn into a "disease." Bulemia and Anorexia are not diseases...they are habits that stemmed from some idiot girl thinking that a little cellulite made her less of a person. Happens in guys too, but to a lesser degree, know why? Because society doesn't say men have to be perfectly proportioned to find a mate. Fuck society. I am so sick of it's attitudes, of the attitudes of everyone that thinks that a woman cannot be successful unless she is good-looking. Die. All you anorexics and bulemia-ridden morons? You have two options: a. EAT! Battle your body, which has now become convinced it's starving and build up your tolerance to the food that sustains you or b. DIE and stop bringing the rest of us down to your level. I don't need to be compared to a Kate Moss-looking girl and told that I need to shape up. Nope, she needs to become shapely. Voluptuous is not a bad way to be. Obese is bad for your health, but a healthy weight is nothing to turn your nose up at. Neither is food.

Birthdays

This'll be short. Today is my birthday, and it's pretty much slipped by quietly. I hate birthdays now. They used to be so wonderful when I was still a child, but now people seem to think that I've grown out of wanting attention (with the exception of my dad). Folks, I'll never grow out of wanting attention. Never!!

Pop Culture

The subtitle of this section is "Selling Out." You see, I happen to be an interesting person (in my eyes. In your eyes I may be the most boring piece of lint-infested belly button hair you've ever seen. That's okay, too.), and as such, I often run across cool and interesting things. It was this way with South Park, the Christmas CD. It was this way with Magic:The Gathering. It was this way with MST3K, which thankfully hasn't gotten as bad, yet. It was this way with numerous other fun things that our "pop culture" has dug its claws into and ripped to shreds. Why is it that when something gets "discovered," all of the creativity and originality is bled from it as from an ill person in the medieval ages? Television and movies are today's leeches. If something's cool, make a series. If it's still cool, make a movie. By this time, it's probably not cool anymore. Another potent example...music. Underground, punk and alternative music all used to be exactly that. Now, however, Third Eye Blind, Sugar Ray, Faith Hill, and whoever the hell sings "Who's Got the Hooch?" are played a minimum of 50 times per day, per station. I know who has the hooch, it's Erkin Berbert and he needs to give it back to them so they'll shut the hell up. Pop culture is called that, I think, because when I find something that I really like, I feel inflated with joy, and when the damned masses start leeching it, I pop.

Psychology

Yes, psychology, that wonderful new science of the mind, where we look deep into the psyche and decide exactly how fucked up you are. Well, psychology is a bunch of shit, and I'll tell you why. Psychology deals with "diseases" that have no bodily proof of existence (with certain exceptions I'll discuss later) and arise from a habit gone haywire. Eating disorders for example: a girl says "I'm not a true person if I have cellulite, I think I'll stop eating for a while" and does, then her body decides she's starving and changes it's metabolism, then her original experiment, which has become a voluntary habit, has metamorphised finally into a forced habit that has to have intervention to break. This in no way can be called a disease. Alcoholism is another perfectly viable example. More severe "diseases" like schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, and sociopathy can usually be explained away similarly. An abused child experiments with an imaginary playmate, and as a voluntary habit, creates more imaginary playmates to help deal with the stress, until finally the habit has progressed out of their control and is termed a "disease." It is not a disease. It is a habit and should be treated as such, either broken if it endangers others, or left alone. Why should a happy schizophrenic person who lives in their own world be forced to live in ours? To satisfy some doctors sense of normalcy? In all the years of psychology, they still have not learned that normal is subjective, and trying to force people to fit into "society's" view of what is normal is detrimental not only to the "sick" person but also to society. Leave them alone. Now, on to the exceptions. First, some psychological "diseases" actually have a physiological base, at which point they should cease to be psychological problems and begin to be neurological ones. These problems can often be fixed through drugs, but herein lies another explicit difficulty with psychology...OVERUSE AND OVERPRESCRIPTION OF PSYCHOLOGICAL DRUGS!!!! I'm sure you've noticed that ADD and ADHD seem to be the buzzwords of the current psychological society, and indeed some children do seem to be aided by the drugs because of an HONEST NEUROLOGICAL CONDITION. But thousands, perhaps millions, of others are being diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and put on unnecessary and detrimental pharmaceuticals because of vague symptoms that apply to just about everybody. Check out some of these symptoms: Does your child ever have excess energy? (What parent is going to say no to that??) Does your child ever have trouble concentrating? (Isn't that part of the definition of "child"??) Often loses things? Doesn't listen well? Squirms and fidgets? Difficulty awaiting turn in games? Shifts from one activity to another? These are actual symptoms from this site, and how many children do you know that can sit still for extended periods of time!?? If your child has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD or you know someone who has, please only allow them to take pills for it if their behaviour is maladaptive or dangerous. Otherwise, you may be putting their mental health in more danger than you realize!

Religious Convertors

Why, oh, why, do you think I NEED to be Christian??? I've seen the Bible and I've seen the inherent fallacies of it. (Ooh, I'm gonna get flamed for that one...) It's not that I don't have respect for the Christian religion, I do. I believe that it is wonderful that some people truly have that much faith in something they cannot see, hear, feel, taste, touch or smell. I think it's wonderful that this nameless, faceless being can keep them in line, refraining to kill people, bludgeon baby seals, or cheat the IRS (most of the time). Great! Whatever works. But why is it that Christians feel that if you aren't Christian, you're somehow demeaning to and defacing their god? Why do I have to think like you? I don't think like you, if everyone thought like me, the world would be a much more frightening, but logical and intellectual, place. Let's leave it at that, and I swear to post any and all Christian e'mails telling me "I will pray for you." I hate that. Go ahead and do it if you want, but it's really quite demeaning to me to say it. Don't patronize me. If the Christian religion is true, I'm probably going to Hell, unless I am delivered some new information on my deathbed, in which case saying a few little words will let me sing hymns and strum harps with the best of you. Until that happens, leave me alone!!!

REMAKES

I hate Poop Daddy. I hate the Faculty soundtrack (2 Alice Cooper remakes, a David Bowie remake, plus a Pink Floyd remake, just to make me see more red). I hate almost all 90's bands, because of the severe lack of originality. Of course, the fickle public has a lot to do with it, but that comes later. I know remaking a song is not just a 90's phenomenon: Guns N' Roses remade Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" in the 80's, as did Ugly Kid Joe with Harry Chapin Carpenter's "Cats in the Cradle." It just seems so much more predominant in this wonderful decade of ours. Every song seems so familiar, and that's because the masters of the 70's are being ripped off thoroughly. Oh, I'm sorry, there's the unforgettable "remix" or "sampling" too, but I don't care what you call it. It all adds up to blaring plagiarism to me. David Bowie...how can anyone rip off David Bowie?? He's the man! Oh, but Shawn Mullins' new "Changes" isn't the first, there was also Jacob Dylan and the Wallflowers doing their horrid rendition of "Heroes." And I'm sure Pink Floyd and Alice Cooper saw it coming. But it's not all the artists' fault for rewriting and making shittier versions of past hits; far be it from me to call them "victims," society is at least a little to blame. Has anyone wondered why there aren't any Rolling Stones or KISS or Led Zeppelin or The Who's this generation? It's simply because we won't let them come to be. This generation is all about what's in this minute and what's out last week. Bands and artists are trying their damndest to come up with a one-hit wonder that'll hit platinum and make millions...but they don't honestly expect to be around in a few years. And if they do they're kidding themselves. Do you remember Vanilla Ice? Hammer? Boyz II Men? NKOTB? Right Said Fred? Kris Kross? Mr. Big? If this list has you blushing because you, too, used to like them (although you'd never admit to it) you're starting to understand what I mean. They're not still around because we'd never let them be. Do you religiously buy every Rembrandts CD, or is the only song you know of theirs the Friends theme?" Not all Pink Floyd albums were top-notch (although even the worst ones beat out today's best music), but the true Pink Floyd fan had them all. Same with Aerosmith, Jefferson Starship, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Grateful Dead, Queen, etc. Don't let these legends die a horrible, whiny death because some crappy pop-rocker decided to make a fast buck. Go out, right now, and buy the classics of rock. You won't regret it, and if you do, I'll listen to your complaints.

Suicide

Yeah!! Go for it!! You see, if we were animals in the wild, and we are animals in the urban wild, we would be competing for resources, and we are...in this case jobs and food and mates, and someone decided to off themselves...what does that mean?? MORE FOR ME!! You see, there are many different types of people who commit or attempt to commit suicide. a)The ones who think it is "cool." I am utterly shocked that these people exist...no actually I'm not. They're just part of the "masses," and MUST do whatever is dubbed as cool...even if it's suicide. Go to a middle school/junior high sometime. You'll see that scars on wrists are badges of honor...even though they really mean the person owning them was too stupid to kill themselves....people do it all the time accidentally..you wouldn't think it would be too hard to do on PURPOSE!!!! Then there are b) the people who really want to die...who feel they'll be better off in the afterlife. Who are we to deny their experiences? Who are we to say we are so much greater than them that we can tell them what to do with their own BODY???? Come on, government, if we own one thing in the world (although it's becoming obvious that we don't) it's ourselves...so why govern what we do to or with ourselves? As long as it doesn't infringe on other's personal rights, go ahead. Kill yourself. Have an abortion. Pierce your brain with an inch thick stud. That would look cool...

Tipping

I would like everyone to know at the start of this rant that I myself was a waitress for a year at one of the local Steak & Ale Restaurants, and it was hell. You have to have a certain personality to be a waitress, and I just don't have it. I can accept this. Now, on to tipping. We are expected, when going to a restaurant, to tip at least 10% (or 15%, depending on where you are), and that's at the VERY LEAST. Even if your server is mediocre, you must tip them. Now, I don't have too much of a problem with this...on the surface, and let it be known that I tip really well. What I have a problem with are the employers that give their servers/waitstaff less than minimum wage and expect the tip to make up for it (this happens more often than you think, folks...). You see, at this point, the expectation to tip becomes annoying. Now instead of the tip being something like a reward for a good server, it becomes a case of the customer/guest actually and directly PAYING the server's wages. Last I checked, the point of tipping was that it was above and beyond the required wages that the employer pay the employee. But lo and behold, trusted friends, in this case, the employer is getting off scot-free. He/She/It only has to pay a fraction of the waitstaff's wages and sits back, expecting the guests to pay the rest. This bites, people. It just does.

Warning Labels

Warning labels. You know, when you pick up a toothpick container and it says: "Caution: Do not stick into eye," you know we have some really stupid people out there. One lady, as most of us now know, won one million plus dollars because her McD's coffee lid didn't say "Hot" on it. God forbid, when I order coffee at McD's, I sure don't know it's going to be hot!!! I thought it was always lukewarm!! Although this may be true, it was still her own stupidity that led that "hot" coffee to scald her crotch. So now, McD's has a warning label on the coffee. Businesses everywhere have been under fire in pseudo-court cases where they have to pay some idiot money because that idiot didn't know not to snort gasoline or not to insert triscuit crackers in his anus. Sure, you think, now we've appeased the morons and we can all forget this disgusting chapter in human history, right? Oh, no. You see, there was this kid wearing floaties in a swimming pool, who almost drowned. Ahh, how sad, we all say. But the parents of this kid, who obviously had no right to reproduce in the first place, now say that the corporation that issued the cute little floaties put TOO MANY warning labels on the product, and they couldn't help but glaze over the label WITHOUT READING IT. This is an actual court case folks. Morons are winning, we are just too outnumbered.

Why Cult Classic Stars Should Never Forsake Their Characters

Two words: Pearl Forrester. Please come back Dr. Forrester, please accompany him TV's Frank!!! We loved you and this Pearl thing is a nuisance at best!!! And Joel, though we loved you and always will, Mike Nelson is actually doing a great job. Thank you though for creating the show. Of course, now that it's been cancelled, thank you for creating a syndication.

More to Come, Check Back Often!

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