Essays Also subtitled "instant homework" for your own convenience if needed. :) What I have here is a collection of some essays I've written in 1999, where, by sheer coincidence or dumb luck, I was really at my writing best. Most of these are homework assignments which I was forced to do, so don't look at me like I'm some hardworking too-much-time-in-my-hands mister. Be forewarned that most of these are pretty long stuff and you are not advised to write like I did in examinations, no matter what the other guy tells you. The sheer length of these works are for my own amusement, and, whoo, now I have a talent for being long-winded. What I'd suggest you to do is save these essays down and read them in your own sweet time while listening to some mp3s. Here goes nothing.
The first essay I wrote in 1999 was entitled "The Spy Who Abducted Me". Homework assignment, you understand. It's sorta like Misery, but with a twist at the end. That was because the teacher wanted surprise endings, so if you didn't like the ending, don't blame me. I got a v.good from the teacher out of this, with an added comment "a bit too long", a comment I'd be getting several times throughout the year. Read on, why don't you?
I wrote "Your Time Is Up" for the Commonwealth essay competition. The inspiration came like that <snap> to me one Saturday morning while I was reading the papers. Every story element must have been the result of the many books I've read and even more movies I've seen. There was a 2,000 word limit so some things could not be written in intricate detail. But to tell you the truth, I'm quite proud of this one.Can you say "pinnacle of my writing prowess" without coughing? Neither can I. :)
"The Innocent", another homework assignment, to me was written as a continuation of the one above. Simple story about a simple framing, but you'll notice that the for early part of the year my essays were centered on the theme of crime. Whatever.
Well, there has got to be some variety in my essays. This one is a formal letter to the editor of a newspaper I made up written by a concerned parent regarding child abuse. I was quite pleased and amused at this one because this essay is the first one I cursed in and got away with it. What's the magic word? It begins with a "b" and I'm not talking about female dogs. Heh.
You'd think all my essays were written without prior preparation until you've read this one. "Chaplin", is of course a short biography I wrote about the great entertainer. Sources came from the internet, encyclopedias, and an old version of Microsoft's Cinemania. A horrid idea, isn't it, to summarise a person's life into just a few pages? Ah well. At least I have a "good research" comment to my credit.
And halfway through the year, said teacher became semi-obsessed with giving us single word title essays for us to work on. Blood, water, fire, you name it, and so did she. I wasn't bothered with most of them, after all I have about 3 choices every time essay assignments were given, then she slapped me with a title I was actually interested in - "Tiger". Probably comes from my Calvin and Hobbes obsession, heh. I loved this story I've written, and guess what, I got a "long but interesting" comment from the teach.
I've prided myself in being a narrative writer, meaning I'm somewhat a storyteller, but hey, I also had to prepare for argumentative essays, so this one was given to me. "Caring For The Old". Come on, it was either this or one about mixed marriages, something I know next to nothing about. This one I was amused with because I used every buzzword that came my way, so if you read this, you'll have a feeling of deja vu.
I mentioned "Fire" earlier, right? Towards August I found the time to work on it to make my teacher happy. <Cough, cough> I love this, about a prefessional wrestler with a sordid past which involved, obviously, a fire. It would help you a great deal in reading the essay if you knew how to sing the Jerry Lee Lewis oldie "Great Balls Of Fire", which very nearly became the essay title until I realised the title was the only thing I started with. Clickie clickie.
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