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I was finally developing a backbone. If my parents insisted on me sticking with the psychiatric "help", it was going to be on my terms. After all, they were supposed to be paid to help me feel better about myself, not just as a place to pawn off the damaged daughter on. I insisted on a new counselor. I was assertive and got one. I also insisted on being assigned to a new group for counseling. I got it. I also fought to get off the meds I was taking and insisted on a new doctor. I was then diagnosed manic-depressive and put on lithium. That drug didn't make me feel any better, so I stopped taking it. I would pretend to take the meds to please my parents. I started feeling better everyday. I could now think and see and stopped shaking. I even entertained ideas of starting my own business. I was on top of the world.

Shortly after I began to get my life in order, I met my future husband. We met, went out on a date the next day, and three days after we met, we were engaged. Soon, I moved out and lived with him and his family. They were just as dysfunctional as my family. I had my own problems to deal with when I lived with them. I have overcome them one by one.

So, where am I now? I have been happily married for over 7 years. My husband is an atheist. I am a "pagan" in the sense that I appreciate life, nature and acknowledge a higher power. I have two beautiful children who are growing up with unconditional love and acceptance. I work in my home to be near my children. We are as happy as one could possibly be in "Satan's world".

I don't buy any of the crap that I was raised in. I don't even believe the bible is the word of god. And even if the witnesses were right, I would rather die with all of the kind, caring and deserving people I have met on the outside than to spend an eternity walking on eggshells. If they want it, they can have it.

THE END