Above Ground Testing
                               Issue #5
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PHEW...this is what happens when I take a week off.  I went to Florida to 
help a friend pack up a trailer.  Needless to say, everything is a week off,
including my zine.  Actually I'm about two weeks off.  
  Here it is, another month.  Hard to believe how fast the time
is going.  Just think, in another couple of weeks it will be Christmas.  My 
life will get very busy, very soon.  I'll have to get out the catalogues
and do some shopping with the phone.  
  Not much in the way of submissions this month, so this will be a smaller
issue.  I noticed the last two have been over 10k worth of material.  I
was impressed with the amount of material sent to me by a number of you.
Do keep it up!.  
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Reviews:

I have decided to add a few reviews to this month's e-zine.  Since I have 
all this space, I want to comment on what I've listened to and read.
  I've read two books; the first was called "Bre-X". It was written by 
Dianne Francis. This book deals with the infamous scandal of last year.
  I will say there was nothing in the way of new revelation.  Its the story
of greed and more greed.  
  The second book I want to review is: "The Lament of Charlie Longsong" by
Roch Carrier. If you are a Canadian you may remember his children's book
"the Hockey Sweater".  This new book deals with a historian who tries to 
find out about this unknown French farmer who lived in the United States.
In his travels to Arizona to track down information, he comes across an 
elderly indian who quotes an address in Quebec.  The two incidents become
intertwined in the life of the historian and the story.  
  I thought it was a little slow at first but once I got involved with the
book it became a very enjoyable read.  If you have read in Roch, and this
was my first since the hockey sweater, get it and read it.  

I also purchased the CD "My Funny Valentine" a compilation of hits by the
famous 50's jazz singer and trumpeter Chet Baker.  If you are familiar with
the era, you know the name.  The tapes, taken from the mid to late 50's have
all been remastered and sound great.  Purchase and listen.  It will make a
special evening with a special person.
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Waiting for God
"I am waiting for God... to show his face..." Jack Kerouac

along the highway I walk
with my thumb out hoping for a lift
to anywhere.
I slowly walk and watch
the cars speeding past.
I catch a quick glimpse as they do
of the faces of the occupants
the stares 
the look of fear, suffering
anger, rage, indifference
avoiding my glance
ignoring me as just another 
object on their road of life
not slowing for me.
I'm waiting
for that one car to stop
and give this tired drifter a lift.
when it does
I'll run to the door and
look in
and then and there
I'll find the face of God.


Paper

my life is filled 
with paper
messages, reports and faxes.
another page is now
 demanding my attention
 requesting a reply
then
on another piece
of paper floating around
I find the space
to write the words
which form
this poem.

This Poem

this poem
won't make me rich
or get me nominated
for a Nobel prize.

this poem
won't make me famous
or attract
the chicks.

this poem
will make me
feel good
as I write it.

Angels without wings

Angels without wings
names on a tree,
angels without wings
trapped in the present
colourless and plain.
Needing the help
of unknown Samaritans
to set them free
to give them their wings
for them to soar
and 
experience the joy
of the season.

( influenced by the Christmas adopt a child program)


old soldier in gray
slowly climbs the steps
leading to the monument
having given a limb
in service to his country

he pauses
and remembers
his friends who gave more
then just a limb
on the beaches
the hedgerows
in villages and town
he left his friends
died for causes
and died for friends

he lays the wreath
and a slow tear
rolls down 
his cheek.


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AWAKE
mid night
when my demanding voice
seach have quietly disappeared
like children soft dismissed
to a peaceful slumber
I become
the silent room
I am the singing of the air
in space
AWAKE
as only one who slept
a thousand million years
oblivious
can be awake
and clearly know the difference
between numbing doubt
and this day's blessed awareness
daring even non-existent death
from the brightness of my certainty
I am the calm itself
such is the wonderof a spirit
freedto dream
in the decided now
of simply being
brilliantly
awake

Copyright 1998 Jan Houston
All Rights Reserved
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Last Call
My ship sets course to cross the bar...as last call proclaims another 
passing
And now this weary soul departs...as your ragged banners rise half mast
.....in song
I bid my old friends fare thee well
Let no tears fall at cost....from loyal eyes this night
For in your faithful heart of hearts....allow truth to candle lights
Think not of me in grief and sadness....for I have risen from my pain
And now as I slowly leave earth’s realmIn your love .....I will always remain
So....Set forth one rose on fair ocean’s waters
Drop one pearl of dew... for your tears
Then send me away...in the honour of day
As an old sailor fades....and bids you well cheers 

Poem 2
I Survive
This heart has pioneered mountains majestic 
.........and made wake in angry seas.......in the name of love
When rains came......I braved their cold onset
....and shielded my heart with hope...to keep from drowning 
....in a taunting, vacuous, ocean of greyYet as ever.....
A wildflower always flourishes in my garden heart 
........sowing its essence through all fiery winds of change
A small spark in turmoil.....does carry my troubles wayward
Always to thrive......and take courage when life does rearrange
This love of life is my strength of will
And through change and chaos..........I know my heart of hearts.....can still 
.....conquer loss .....and lead me onward, to survive!

Poem 3
The Watchers
At dawn of day, they walk by side....in still cold Decembers 
Frost crisps fallen leaves,
 one lone bird calls... in desolation
Walking soothes on narrow paths of barren land....this dead of winter
As ghosting footsteps pilot burnt paths of pursuit
Grandfathers instil foundation.....to curious us in forthcomings
......ever staying watchers, in silent choice
Wonder, do memories sound us to lead, if not is said but silence?
These queries stay unanswered... commandeering voice
Yet...not haunting voice will outward cry protest
The manners of the ghostly ones...ever stay watchers...of your quest 
***************************************
Charlotte Mair
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All poems copyrighted by their respective authors. Any reproduction of
  these poems, without the express written permission of the authors, is
  prohibited.
If you have a webpage and want it linked, let me know.

prayers and warm thoughts to the editor of Crackerjack2000

Above Ground Testing is published monthly ( so far so good) by Paul. 
Correspondence to: pabear_7@yahoo.com.
Submissions always welcomed.
©1998